Whatever happens now, shouldn't be blamed on him. I would say i was fully aware of everything, love was unconscious of all. He had an issue with his girlfriend which i never knew of until we were talking one day and it came up. He was so mad at what she did, he needed a break. He said they weren't together at the moment and he just needed a long break to get himself together. We talked about it and my reply was that even tho it was wrong to say this then, i wanted it to happen lol, because i had feelings for him and i never wanted to tell him knowing he was in a relationship. He was free now, i thought, i was happy. Silly me still ignored the fact that this was just a break n not an actual breakup which meant that they still had a chance to be together.. love sha.
He asked me to open up and let him know how much i felt about him and i did. I poured out my heart to him and he did as well. He also said "right now, all i can think about is kissing you, stroking you n whatever comes with it" lol. In my little head i was happy because i had always always wanted to kiss him, i had even imagined him making love to me yea, he was the love of my life. I told him about it and he said he was going to do that. At that moment, i knew everything he was saying then was probably out of pain on what his girlfriend did, he might just have wanted to have a pay back, of course with me because i was the next person he loves. Next!
#Forevergirl.

Everyday, we talked about how we were going to kiss and all. I was shy and scared, he told me that i had to overcome that fear, he wasn't going to help me kiss him, i was going to do it myself lol. I couldn't wait for that day. Finally, he came down to my state, he was in Lagos then. I came to his place to stay with him, i was really happy because i found so much joy and i couldn't explain how i feel when ever i see him, trust me, its amazing. We had a long talk that night.. Just gisting, the atmosphere was beautiful but i was just thinking in my mind dear God, how will i do it now, how will i kiss this guy.
At a point, we hugged for a while n then i asked him "why is it so hard to kiss you " n he said he didn't know, he was nervous too. I was just so shy to make anymove. Next thing i said i wanted to lie down, we went inside n lay down on the bed and then he said "precious, i want you to do something for me" i asked what, he said i want you to kiss me".
He calls me his precious. Phew i almost peed on my pants. I said okay.. n then i tried coming close but i just couldnt, i tried n tried mehnn it was sooo hard.. That was the hardest moment of my life.. I even became embarrassed and started asking my self, what is there, is it so hard, kiss him now, just go close n the rest is history!. but i still couldn't lol, funny girl. Then he decided to help me finally and said i should come close. I summoned courage and came close, our lips locked oh God! I melted. Next!
#forevergirl

At that moment, i lost myself, it was magical. This was something i always wanted.. Ah.. My heart..and then right from my lips, he caressed me, i wished it was forever oh dear!... after the romance, he proceeded to give me head, yes head.. I was shy about that too and i wanted to tell him not to but then words failed me and i kept quiet like let him just do it. The moment he started.. Oh my God.. That was the best, best, best thing i ever felt in my life..�.. He was so good , i wanted him to just eat me all up n swallow me infact let me just die there. I was like, so this is how good head feels, N.B: i used to find it disgusting before but after then i surrendered mehn!. then he proceeded to do the main thing but bcus i was scared of sex and the pain, i started shivering n told him i didnt want penetration n he respected that n kissed me. By then i was vibrating already like an idiot lol. He later told me i vibrated like that because i was almost cumming. After all, we slept. we woke up, i still couldn't believe it .
After breakfast we got talking and something about his gf came up.. He was saying some stuffs which i guess i misunderstood according to him n it made me cry because i knew he wasn't going to be with me, because he had not really ended things with her n he still loved her, it was only a break. i went in to the bathroom and cried and then i came out. He tried talking to me and explaining stuffs and then ended up writing a note on my Phone. Next!
#forever girl.
He was not happy that he could make his precious cry. I read the note in my phone and was consoled but it didn't change the fact that he still loved her. After then, told him i was good n we were good n he proceeded to watch a movie while i ate. After eating, i came and sat on his legs and kissed him on his forehead, i wanted more. He paused his film n kissed me n we made out all over aqain. He showed me his sensitive parts in his body n i kissed then n he spilled cum lol.. Naive me now was rubbing the cum all over his body bcus it felt sweet n warm in my hands, we were still in the moment when my phone rang, guess who?!
My dad!
I froze, i was like are u sure this man is not seeing me, his daughter in spirit and seeing she's making love with a man. I picked up, next thing he said "come to the village, im on my way back, i need the house clean" i said ok. I was so sad that i was going to leave my lion, he tried to convince me not to go but i had to because daddy is a no nonsense person n then i left. I came back from the village on sunday, i was to go back to school on tuesday, so he came to see me on monday n he kissed me aqain n took me to my room where we made out a liitle aqain this time, a little cus i was on my period n then we left sha n i resumed school. Next!
#Forevergirl

After then, that was when my sad story began. You know..i've heard people say its really very hard to leave som1 u gave ur virginity to, (,in this case, we gave each other us cus he was one too). i used to doubt this statement bcus i felt it wasn't true. If u want to leave the person, its that simple, just move on!. but that's a lie, its hard, really hard. Back to story.. On some occasions he made it known that he still loved her.. N how she had been apologising and wldnt give up on him.. Yea she had every right to bcus she loves him a lot too and besides, it was just a "break, a long one". With all that happening, i knew i may never get a chance n it hurt me soo bad. When ever i thought of it , i'd feel really bad, i wanted him to myself alone, i wanted him to love me alone..be with me, Evil right?.. but it wasn't going to happen, at least that i knew..
And then every single day he was always in my head, my heart, my lips.. that was when i realized my obsession over him had started Phew.. How sad.. I began to sound so stupid, desperate, and pitiful, always writing stupid notes on my phone and showing them to him. After then we'll talk about it and that was it. I'll wallow back in my obsession/sadness. One day i didn't even know when i told him i wanted to be his girlfriend, how silly. I felt really stupid for saying that n that was when i knew i was sha mad lol. His reply was " So u want to be called mine" i laughed n said i was joking anyway and that was it. Next!
#Forever girl

The next time we saw was june, this time we needed privacy so we lodged.. Remember the way i said i feel around him i felt that stronger bcus we hadnt seen for about 4 months n i missed him all through..We had dinner that night, and then we had a long talk about me not being happy n all then we did some mystery stuffs. By thus time, we had already both made up our minds this time to have sex. I knew it was going to be really painful but regardless i wanted to know what he felt like inside me n we started. He gave the mind blowing head again n tried penetrating.. It was really a hard process but he succeeded a little n i was joyed!.. in the morning, i had to go n i left sha. We saw aqain before he had to go for his NYSC and me , school. After two weeks lol fool like me thought i was pregnant.. It was a scary experience but it turned out i wasnt n life continued. I havent seen him aqain since then bcus we were in different states n both busy. Next!
#Forever girl.

One day, he put up her picture n wrote something on it.. I replied it with n he told me he had forgiven her and they were good now. I didnt understand how i felt at that moment, i was really jealous. Evil.
I asked him what he meant by they r good now as per are they back together, he said no, they were just good friends and then i said he shouldnt put himself in an awkward position bcus of me. I felt he wasnt back with her bcus i was in the picture n he wouldnt want to hurt me bcus if i wasnt there, they would get back together even if it took a while, they def would. It was from that day i decided to control my feelings and prepare myself for whatever happens bcus i was broken, really broken but i never told him bcus i didnt want him to feel like i was seeking pity again. I began to keep my distance, i felt less talking would help n i stopped reminding him of how much i love him. Did i mention before all this, i was always letting him know i loved him. Always to d point i once felt i was being too much. He noticed my distance and asked what it was but i said nothing. He said whenever i was ready to talk , he would be there and that was it. We still talk tho and i miss him everyday but i'm trying to control it now. I'm scared of one thing you know... I'm scared that when i see him again, i'll fall back, i'll start all over again.. In my shallowness �
This is my story.
#Forevergirl

Long walk to freedom....and na u dem go take settle am.