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How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by uniqueflash(m): 11:18am On Feb 25, 2020
Okmei3119:
Hello nlander

I had to open a new account because I am getting irritated by my husband not been able to make a decision or do anything without seeing me.He lacks self confidence
If he wants to open an account with a bank,I have to be seated with him right dere,if his boss rebuked him,I have to be dere to beg his boss,if he makes a mistake,I have to be dere to clean up this mess over and over and over again.

What got me really irritated was when we were about paying for our new apartment and I was at engrossed with work at the office,I told him to pay the landlord since he was off duty,he insisted he didn’t know what to say and I should be seated beside him,I was so disappointed.I had to do all the talking that day when we got to the landlords.He doesn’t invest his money,he spends lavishly and when he is broke,he gets so angry at me if I tell I invested mine.

How would I build him to be a man who can be confident in himself and make decisions without I always seated to boost his ego,I love him but I don’t like weak men
women an confusion ,you want someone you can control now God answered your prayers you are here complaining ,if he wants you to lead take the mantle of leadership an lead case closed .

Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by echibuogwu(m): 11:48am On Feb 25, 2020
He lacks self esteem and confidence, he probably knows about it and he feels bad about it too. He’s an introvert, whenever he ask u for an opinion, ask him about his opinion first then go with it whether it’s good or not too good, he has to learn how to man up and be prepared for whatever consequences his actions resulted to
Okmei3119:
He was like this during courtship but I thought he was just trying to let me get involved in his life,at least to know him better but I expected after 5 yrs of marriage,he should be able to cope without wanting me to make decisions all the time

This is the only weakness he has,I can’t even bring up this discussion with him because I can’t afford to hurt him sad

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Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by Nobody: 4:45pm On Feb 25, 2020
Okmei3119:
Hello nlander

I had to open a new account because I am getting irritated by my husband not been able to make a decision or do anything without seeing me.He lacks self confidence
If he wants to open an account with a bank,I have to be seated with him right dere,if his boss rebuked him,I have to be dere to beg his boss,if he makes a mistake,I have to be dere to clean up this mess over and over and over again.

What got me really irritated was when we were about paying for our new apartment and I was at engrossed with work at the office,I told him to pay the landlord since he was off duty,he insisted he didn’t know what to say and I should be seated beside him,I was so disappointed.I had to do all the talking that day when we got to the landlords.He doesn’t invest his money,he spends lavishly and when he is broke,he gets so angry at me if I tell I invested mine.

How would I build him to be a man who can be confident in himself and make decisions without I always seated to boost his ego,I love him but I don’t like weak men

The complete control that your sisters are fighting for, is what you are complaining about.
Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by TheeDetective: 6:00pm On Feb 25, 2020
@Op, so you are now tired of being in control right? undecided You yourself don talk am from beginning say na so the man be but you come marry am like that. After you don tire to take control you come they say your husband no fit make decision abi. Hold your peace mate as that was how you met him before you married him hence, stop the nagging as nobody forced you to marry him.

Let your experience be a lesson to others out there who are yet to marry that YOU CANNOT CHANGE ANYBODY AFTER MARRIAGE AND ANY TRAITS YOU DON’T LIKE BEFORE MARRIAGE WILL NOT SUDDENLY DISAPPEAR AFTER MARRIAGE; IN SOME INSTANCES, THE ANNOYING TRAIT WILL ONLY GET WORSE which is what is now glaring and manifested in your case as shown from your experience.

The other day it was a woman who opened a thread to say her BIL put his hand in her pot of soup and she doesn’t like it and mind you that was something her BIL was doing before marriage and SHE NEVER COMPLAINED BUT NOW THAT SHE IS MARRIED, SHE STARTED COMPLAINING.

My point being a trait you know you can’t tolerate before marriage, trash it out as it will not suddenly change when you are married. So carry on BEING THE DECISION MAKER in your home as that is how YOU HAVE ALWAYS WANTED IT OTHERWISE YOU WILL HAVE ADDRESSED THIS MAJOR FAULT YOU ARE NOW WHINNING ABOUT BEFORE YOU MARRIED YOUR HUSBAND OR PROBABLY NOT HAVE MARRIED HIM AT ALL. ENOUGH SAID

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Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by pocohantas(f): 6:00pm On Feb 25, 2020
Madam, some women are like this and the ones with good men are surviving.

He probably knows his weakness, so he married a woman who is assertive and can speak up for him. You should be glad he trusts your decisions. Some guys in that situation would rely on their mothers/sisters- you will still come here to complain of third-party interference.

Be patient. Stop getting pissed, because he will notice your irritation and that further kills him.

No human is perfect. Dependency or poor financial management isn’t the worst from a man. As long as he is teachable.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by Yeecar(m): 9:06am On Feb 26, 2020
Okmei3119:
Hello nlander

I had to open a new account because I am getting irritated by my husband not been able to make a decision or do anything without seeing me.He lacks self confidence
If he wants to open an account with a bank,I have to be seated with him right dere,if his boss rebuked him,I have to be dere to beg his boss,if he makes a mistake,I have to be dere to clean up this mess over and over and over again.

What got me really irritated was when we were about paying for our new apartment and I was at engrossed with work at the office,I told him to pay the landlord since he was off duty,he insisted he didn’t know what to say and I should be seated beside him,I was so disappointed.I had to do all the talking that day when we got to the landlords.He doesn’t invest his money,he spends lavishly and when he is broke,he gets so angry at me if I tell I invested mine.

How would I build him to be a man who can be confident in himself and make decisions without I always seated to boost his ego,I love him but I don’t like weak men
Lawd! What have i not seen by these senseless ladies on Nairaland!
Guys you see why you all have to be ALPHAS? I rest my case!
Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by nlPoster: 9:16am On Feb 26, 2020
echibuogwu:
He lacks self esteem and confidence, he probably knows about it and he feels bad about it too. He’s an introvert, whenever he ask u for an opinion, ask him about his opinion first then go with it whether it’s good or not too good, he has to learn how to man up and be prepared for whatever consequences his actions resulted to

Possibly they speak different languages and the other people mentioned are from the woman's language?

It is difficult to know exactly what is going on from a one sided story.
Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by kuverah(f): 9:35am On Feb 26, 2020
Okmei3119:
Hello nlander

I had to open a new account because I am getting irritated by my husband not been able to make a decision or do anything without seeing me.He lacks self confidence
If he wants to open an account with a bank,I have to be seated with him right dere,if his boss rebuked him,I have to be dere to beg his boss,if he makes a mistake,I have to be dere to clean up this mess over and over and over again.

What got me really irritated was when we were about paying for our new apartment and I was at engrossed with work at the office,I told him to pay the landlord since he was off duty,he insisted he didn’t know what to say and I should be seated beside him,I was so disappointed.I had to do all the talking that day when we got to the landlords.He doesn’t invest his money,he spends lavishly and when he is broke,he gets so angry at me if I tell I invested mine.

How would I build him to be a man who can be confident in himself and make decisions without I always seated to boost his ego,I love him but I don’t like weak men
He has inferiority complex and timid at the same. But don't be angry with him, it could be traced back to his childhood days. May be he was molested or have a domineering parent or family member that terrorised him. Help him with patient to build his self confidence. You will enjoy him.
Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by JustinOwen(m): 9:38am On Feb 26, 2020
That's a tough one I must say. Relying on people is a huge challenge and it will definitely rob you of some good things of life. I know the person can change but it's gonna take a whole lot of effort.




Meanwhile, if you are looking for a side hustle or want to start earning online, there's a link in my signature that might help out. You don't have to ship and sell anything. It is for only those who are ready and determined to earn money.
Re: How Do I Cope With A Man That Can’t Decide On His Own by frozen70(f): 9:39pm On Feb 28, 2020
Okmei3119:
Hello nlander

I had to open a new account because I am getting irritated by my husband not been able to make a decision or do anything without seeing me.He lacks self confidence
If he wants to open an account with a bank,I have to be seated with him right dere,if his boss rebuked him,I have to be dere to beg his boss,if he makes a mistake,I have to be dere to clean up this mess over and over and over again.

What got me really irritated was when we were about paying for our new apartment and I was at engrossed with work at the office,I told him to pay the landlord since he was off duty,he insisted he didn’t know what to say and I should be seated beside him,I was so disappointed.I had to do all the talking that day when we got to the landlords.He doesn’t invest his money,he spends lavishly and when he is broke,he gets so angry at me if I tell I invested mine.

How would I build him to be a man who can be confident in himself and make decisions without I always seated to boost his ego,I love him but I don’t like weak men

You see, some men would rather prefer their wife to be the one making some decisions to avoid women with their wahala

I will suggest you sit him down and talk it out, but if he gives deaf ears, go ahead and enjoy your gift if being the family spokes person

But be doing it under ground before his family will think you manipulated him

Then make sure he gives you the support you need and protect you before his family

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