talknafree:

@Poster, i dont wanna know whether you have lost your job or the poorest man on earth.
All i know is you shouldnt sit down like a mumu and allow your inlaws insult you, not even her parents
For crying out loud you are the man of the house
A man's  diginity and respect from from the ability to stand firm, brave, and confident.
You will only make yourself look like a damn weakling (which they have taken you) if you dont speak up.
Your situation isnt the worse on earth as such dont let anyone look down on you, on you on yourself.
Afterall they enjpoyed the money with you when the salary was coming in.
If things don't change, KICK YOUR WIFE AND HER INLAWS OUT OF YOUR HOUSE and concentrate on yourself (working on

Go sort things out.

@kisskriss,

i assume you had a job before you married your wife and probably up until you had your first child, if now that you're going thru a down time, your wife's family want to take their daughter back, i will advise you to let them take her, at least now you know the type of family u married from.

if she chooses them over you, then you need to start questioning the basis of her love? for you

if she has paid the house rent and she says her family must come there and do/say whatever they like whenever they like, MOVE OUT of the place

but whatever you do, dont let your dignity be taken away from you, a man with no dignity cannot be a great man

there's a yoruba adage that say, what you will not condone as a rich man, you need to reject it as a poor man,

Please send these in-laws out of your house before it is too late. If however you are living in their house (God forbids), you better pack out now now now. The fact that you are jobless does not make you a fool. Please note that you have to be really reallyy rude with some people because they will never take polite corrections.

I am married and my in-laws know that I don't take shit, luckily they are all older than I am as I married the las born of the family. My in-laws tell my wife behind me that I am so so nice but too tough. But I am never ever tough with my wife. I worship her just as she adores me.

I wish you the very best of luck but not goodluck jonathan

*Cougar*:

but why would the in laws leave their own house to torment a jobless man? i know[b] he has not covered himself in glory impregnating his wife when he's got financial problems[/b] but the in laws went out of order abeg.

LOL
Should a man become an eunuch just cos things are temporarily Not OK for him?What abt the wife protecting herself against pregnancy for those trying periods?why shld the man go with all the blames   Sex with a lazy man sucks but definitely not in this instance as the man was up and doing before.The wife IMO is the one that needs to step-in and caution her relatives.
Seems the wife is the one pushing or encouraging her mum and siblings to be disrespectful to the man.
Any of my relatives that as much as talks back to my husband is LEAVING the house that Instant.

When a man marries a woman for papers or money, he should be ready to take whatever's coming to him! Some things are just plain wrong . . 

Oh Sorry Poster

get urself out of that abusive relationship.it is one thing to be poor and another thing to be looked at like a peice of rubbish
if they had worked their asses off before you married her,they would not be depending on u to take care of the whole family.u have to be supportive to YOUR WIFE and not her family'all these nonsense talk that if u marry 1 u marry all

wak thread. what am my doing here twuuu!!!!

You have to make them respect you, and they will respect you when you have more than enough, free them and get good job plus good pay, it might take time, but it worth it

Pretend for now and endure all the attitude but try very hard to get a job.As you are trying hide your intentions very well and once you get a good job start frowing your face for them and send them to hell.

Very Sad

This post should be an eye opener 4 those who think money isn't everything. @ Poster. . . I'll advise u 2 focus more on building yourself rather than worrying about who respects you or not. Most ppl on earth are shallow minded and categorize individuals by their success. Everybody respects the rich man even if he's a known drug baron or armed robber but it takes maturity and foresight to see the goodness in a poor dejected man. That's the harsh reality of life (YOU ARE WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD). Furthermore, your wife's character is questionable. Her ppl cannot disrespect you without herself encouraging it directly or indirectly. Also, for her younger sister to have the effrontery to provide the number of her previous toaster shows how low you have fallen and how small you are in their eyes. The fact that she actually collected it shows she is ready to put herself in the "market" again and they were probably talking excitedly about him and comparing both of you. From my view point, this marriage is heading for the rocks. Even if you win a billion naira lottery tonite, they will only respect your money. The apple never falls far from the tree. Your wife is a photocopy of her mother and sisters. A woman accepting numbers of past admirers even while being pregnant is NO wife. Even ashawo get more self discipline. You are a man. Use your head and quit being emotional abeg. It sucks. That's why they look down on you. End of!

this guy has not told us the real issue. to me i feel he has not paid the bride price

A wife must be cautious when dealin wit her husband & family. Ur wife shouldnt hav told u wat d sister said instead she would hav warned d sis 2 never say such a thing abt her husband. Ur wife is d only one dat can stop her family from insulting u. Dont disrespect ur inlaws but whenever a situation like dis come up,speak up ok!

Ujujoan:

When a man marries a woman for papers or money, he should be ready to take whatever's coming to him! Some things are just plain wrong . . 

I never saw anywhere he said anything about marrying her for papers and/or money.  He had a job previously, I think he just moved back to Nigeria and doesn't have a job yet. If he is a skilled person, then the future is bright.

Bloody Nairalanders!!!!

Speculation!

The guy never said he lost his job and he said clearly that he never complained of poor finances to his in-laws etc.

Obviously something must have triggered his wife's not wanting to tell her family about the pregnancy and the mother inlaw to respond in the sense that "is that the next thing?"

Let the poster provide more information on his circumstances before we rush to judgement.

Could it be they just dont like him or has he tried (as many stupid Nigerian men do) over-tried to please his in-laws?

unless i have missed something.

JUO:

this guy has not told us the real issue. to me i feel he has not paid the bride price

That was darn funny.

@Poster, let me give u a candid advice. There is this pesticide in the market called "SNIPER". It is a very strong poison. Buy a bottle and put sprinkle it in their food. Viola!! Then have a fun-filled life thereafter.

Stay with ur in-laws? Haba. One day they will tell you to go and collect soup from the pot and do eba for urself, if ebe noy do cornmill.

My GUY, LACK OF JOB  or LACK OF MONEY is not your problem.

Your problem is LACK OF CONFIDENCE.

Even A CONFIDENT  BEGGAR will never take such shit from any in-law.

Just ignore all of them including your wife except the children.

Get better finance yourself and enjoy your life.

Dear it very sad 2 hear, i wz brought up 2 knw dat a man is neva 2 small inrespct of d situatn. Come 2 tink of it whch wife would allow her family look down on her husbnd. It is clear and simple dey down hv respect for each oda ryt frm d start. I would neva gv an avenue 2 such non challant artitude. Bt u really need 2 work on ur sef first.

No money u go gv woman belle, na banana leafs new born baby dey chop? Funny story

akala is governor. The labour party candidate look good . I think the battle is between labour party and Akala.

Becomrichn:

akala is governor. The labour party candidate look good . I think the battle is between labour party and Akala.

Lmao!!

Dude has finally lost it!

You need to put your foot down in your home. Take charge, live an independent life from your in-laws. PrAY TO God for Wisdom and Get a job!

my guy, im going to speak from my experience. ive been in this marriage race for 10 years+. some years back, my sister in-law stated becoming too vocal to d extent of insulting my mother, this was because my wife had cs at d last delivery.(2 cs so far actually). this sis-inlaw feels her sister is not receiving adequate attention. she made so much noise that nearly ended our marriage. we were able to weather that storm. after that episode, i made a decision to cut the sis-inlaw off, yes no more rapport between the woman and i. i have since been enjoying my marriage and nobody is insulting anyone.

b4 you can take any drastic step make sure u are as independent financially as much as possible. u may or may not let ur wife know about it. i did what worked best for my situation.

no matter which of her family member is messing up, you can still keep a safe distance. you can also sit ur wife down and let her know your displeasure at  the way things are going.

most especially seek God's face in your situation. let him teach you what to do

Your family in-laws may be up to something because if your wife junior sister can give her a telephone number of her past toaster then you need to watch your back. I don't know why Nigeria culture always behave as if you marry from one family they think is your responsibility to take care of her family as well. You maybe down today but no body know tomorrow. Just take it easy all will come to past. In USA, many men lost their job but their wife is there financially until they are able to get on their feet. So many things wrong about Nigeria and the culture in general.

*Cougar*:

how can i even stay with my in-laws? on what grounds? some men don't have dignity. any man staying with his in laws for whatever reasons needs to be castrated.

Me sef don tire ooo. Imagine A Man staying with his laws?

*Cougar*:


how is that possible? is it the same wife i have fed, clothed, housed when i had my job? it's not possible. the man is the head of the house and some few months without a job can never change that. i will set dogs on such in laws.

Hehe

@Poster. Assert yourself. Bond more with your wife and get her to do the job of fending off your in-laws. If you have her cooperation, it should be easy. It may be hard, especially if she goes to them to collect money to feed your family. Not withstanding, let her know how you feel. Whatever you do, dont collect money from the devil. The interest is paid for life.

try nd see wat the problem is with ur inlaw

...

OP, get a job and be a man and all your troubles/worries will be over.

The downfall of a man, is not the end of his life. He said he lost his job, and by the grace of God

he will get another soon; except he is not looking. That is not enough reason for his wife and in-law to disrespect him.

This is the time he needs his wife support the most. Have you guys forgetton it is for better

or for worst. Young folks of nowadayz don't realize that anymore. They stay in front of that Priest and say I do,

but when things are bad, they start acting up. A good and supporting wife should stand beside her husband and pray his gets a

job soon, rather than critizing and letting her in-law do the same to him too. These are the reasons

marriages don't last anymore. Nigeria parents should learn to stay out of their children's matrimonial home.