WTF?? I'm actually mad at your wife. You married her not her family. She should be able to defend you in any situation, unless there's something you've not told us. You did not marry her against her will i suppose so what is this?!?! You should have slapped that last born for doing that rubbish. My man is my man, my family has no right to come and control my household, abi you no pay brideprice?!?! Please sir, have the courage to walk those people out of your house! If you've been respectful, you treat their daughter well and you love her then there is no reason on this earth for her family to treat you like shit!!! Please grow some balls!

If they Bleep up again please give them a hot simultaneous slap!

hey my man,
things happen and all you need to do is focus. you get advice from married and unmarried alike. i feel you that you don't want to loose you wife that's why you are keeping you cool. all you need do is talk to your wife about it and live with the others as visitors, they will surely leave someday.
another thing could be that you don't talk much, so it will be also difficult to express some of the things they are doing to your wife. you are in that house and you see everything, make your decision and live with it.

I dont know how you started your relationship. even if your inlaws are the ones feeding and providing a roof over your head, i dont think they have the right to be disrespectful to you like that. Since your wife is keeping quite, i guess she is in league with them. Let your wife understand your feelings and have her address her family. You have already received enough insults, dont add more by trying to exchange words with your in-laws. It is your wife that should address that issue and if the roles were reversed too, you should be the one talking to your people and not your wife.

Quote by KisskrisThks to everybody. I really appreciate every pieces of advice u ve all given to me.
I am looking for job now even any
I lost my job as a result of trying to be a good husband and father(trying to satisfy my boss and my pregnant wife but got sacked) but all d same, i know i ll be fine one day.
I just need to speak to someone yesterday because i was[b] miserable [/b] and a friend encouraged me to share my predicament with u guys so as to lift d burden off my heart and i think u guys ve done wonderfully well. Thks to all.

I feel for you that you have no job, wish I can get a job and hand it over to you right now so that you can work and take care of your family. Don't relent, keep job hunting seriously and don't sit around and wait for job. You can go to a building site and ask to be allowed to render a helping hand and at the end of the day you have earned something, you can go to a fast food place and you may be surprised that there may be one or two things you can do there to earn some money, you can even team up with a friend that has a bus driving around town and dress up neatly (who said that a conductor has to be dirty and without certificate) and help him collect money from his passengers and blimey! you are making money.

I am not being sarcastic dearie, in Lagos children return from school in the afternoon and do a little conductor work in the evening so I don't see why an adult can't work harder than that. There are many things you can try out there that you will be surprised to see doors opening for you only don't sit at home waiting for some company to invite you for an interview and perhaps get on the nerves of the women in the house by so doing. You too should grow some balls and let your in-laws know that you are not allowing anybody walk all over your dignity as a human being just because you are short of some papers called cash. You go boy! 

Mother-in-law was only concerned that you guys have no source of income and are pregnant, don't be mad at her though she should have been more tactful and respectful in expressing herself. You seriously need a source of income because having a baby is a huge responsibility, you may survive hunger for some days but a baby has got to eat and mustn't suffer hunger.

Come on the good people of Nairaland, anybody that knows of a job opening or some little genuine jobs/part time job he can be doing can bring the idea to the table, let's help a brother that has come to lean on us.

@Poster
Nnaa wetin be your field make we helep you look around okay Baby.

dayokanu:

Hmmmmmmm You well done o

Thank you

Its as simple as "stop visiting dem nd cut off all contacts. Cant yu b witout dem? Strive wt ur wife alone nd lov wil see yu guys tru

Am going to be a bit harsh, 1st and fore most re they both livin with u guyz? Sexondly u nid to tk ur wife to a secret place n talk sense into her. U don't want ur home destroyed. Yes mothrs knows best but she is over stepin her boundaries n if ur wife isn't careful she will allow her marriage to slip out of her hands. No nid to add sentiment to it n I don't want u to do it so it doesn't seems rude bt if u nid to to save ur marriage then go ahead

Sorry guy, but if I were in your shoes, this is what I'll do: where I come from there are wisdom banks you can borrow from .I'll simply consult the elders concerning her attitude and that of her people and I'll so ruthlessly deal with them(in laws) that even the mention of my name among them will send jitters down their spine and as for my wife I'll still love her and the events that will follow all these will make her revere me and put me where a woman should place her husband. "Ta lon jeun t'aja n juru?" nonsense.

My friend if you listen to half the rubbish on this board, you might as well go jump in the nearesrt lake with a bag of rocks tied around your waist.

Nigerians place too much emphasis on money. Don't get me wrong it is important, but as a man you need to have power and power is not a product of money, power is a product of courage. Any man can fall on hard times, by all means try and sort yourself out but in the mean time you need to take a stand. Most of our people have been programmed to beleive that you have to bow your head to all sort of indignities if you have no money and not stand up to anything or anybody. In the process you loose sight of your own strenghts and rememeber only your own weaknesses, in doing so you become weaker. You are still the man of the house and the father of her children. Call her bluff, put your foot down and say she needs to chose between you and her family. If she chooses her family, then that frees you of her wahala since she has already chosen the father of her kids let them take care of them. If she chooses you - you've succesfully called her bluff.

At times to save a marriage you have to be ready to loose it. When you show a woman you are ready to take any insults just to remained married she will loose all respect for you. Trust me it will only be a matter of time before she brings another guy home and tels you to prepare eba for the guy while he services her upstairs.

You might be poor in pocket at the mommnet but if you take a stand she will realise your spirit is not broken and will secretly admire you for it. It wil also empower you in your search for a job or to start a business. Fight back against your inlaws - give them something to think about, don't just take it.

Don't listen to the frightened souls on this board who tell you to measure yourself by the size of your pocket. I am yet to meet a millionaire who felt he was defeated when he was poor. Those who make money are the men who even when peniless still retain their self beleif, their courage and their balls. In your rags, with your belly empty tell your in-laws to take a dive and demand your wife take sides. Put her on the spot. So what if she is the one temporarily taking care of the bills. there must have been times when you also helped her - remind her of this and stand your ground. If she wants to go let her go. But if she stays she does so with respect. We feel money controls every thing in Nigeria but that's only because individually and collectively we lack the balls to speak up for oursleves

I will leave you with a story.

once upon the a time the Queen of England Victoria visited her her husband in his chambers. He asked who as the door and she said the queen, he kept her outside, he asked agin she said the queen, he kept her and all her entourage outside. the 5th time she came to her senses and said -your wife'.

then he opened the door for her. Of course she is the queen outside but when he services her in his room she dont wear no crown

This is a really sad and unfortunate thing your wife should have spoken up from the beginning for things not to escalate this far. What an Insult for your Inlaws to behave like this, didn't you marry the girl from her parents home? She's your wife she goes where you go and your struggle is her struggle. How can you let an in-law come into your house and disrespect you to that level speak to the men of the family so 1st your wife's dad can collect his meddling wife from your home an return your wife and 2nd put that jobless sister of your wife back in her husbands/parents home!

Personally i Think you should even think very hard if your wife is a Suitable woman to have as a wife it might even be a blessing. God could bless you with better fortune that will be better shared with someone that can love you whether your rich or poor.

Good luck

@ Poster

You should be thankful to God that you are not in the UK, because women like your wife will insult and abuse you at home and then join with her sisters, her sister’s husbands and her friends to insult you the more. If you respond at home to her abuse by abusing her too verbally she will call the police to come and remove you from your house, so my advice for you is to keep asking God everyday to make you head over your wife and her master, though this may take some time, but just keep trusting God for this to happen. Also a wife like yours will never respect you if you do menial jobs to please her, just continue to trust God for a job better than the one you lost due to you wanting to be a good husband to your wife.

harakiri: This post should be an eye opener 4 those who think money isn't everything. @ Poster. . . I'll advise u 2 focus more on building yourself rather than worrying about who respects you or not. Most ppl on earth are shallow minded and categorize individuals by their success. Everybody respects the rich man even if he's a known drug baron or armed robber but it takes maturity and foresight to see the goodness in a poor dejected man. That's the harsh reality of life (YOU ARE WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD). Furthermore, your wife's character is questionable. Her ppl cannot disrespect you without herself encouraging it directly or indirectly. Also, for her younger sister to have the effrontery to provide the number of her previous toaster shows how low you have fallen and how small you are in their eyes. The fact that she actually collected it shows she is ready to put herself in the "market" again and they were probably talking excitedly about him and comparing both of you. From my view point, this marriage is heading for the rocks. Even if you win a billion naira lottery tonite, they will only respect your money. The apple never falls far from the tree. Your wife is a photocopy of her mother and sisters. A woman accepting numbers of past admirers even while being pregnant is NO wife. Even ashawo get more self discipline. You are a man. Use your head and quit being emotional abeg. It sucks. That's why they look down on you. End of!

Frank talk.

Poster, update us, if you're still around o. How's the baby and them?