MORE revelations. What is his next move now?


BTW I do not see the man as controlling. He has good heart that is being taken advantage of.

On the finances :
He thinks if he tells the wife the state of his account she wud disrespect him the more n even might break up with him knowing he has nothing- he is scare of the divorce because more than likely she wud get their house n that wud leave him wit nothing. He also has bad credit rating which wud mk it difficult for him to get even a rent, phone or anything.

Sex
She has made him lose so much confidence in himsef that he wud find it difficult going clubbing. And he finds it irritating voicing such propaganda.
I told him to masturbate before her so she knows wat she is doing to u. He simply said he can't do it.

Checking her phone:
He said he prefers to think that she is making out with other men that confirming it cos he doesn't think he can take it.

Holiday:
He doesn't want her to know he doesn't have money n can't afford the holiday. But he also cant afford to be anything part of the holiday cos it will b that he is paying for her to go sleep with other men. It breaks his heart even thinking about it.

What next can one say?

In light of the new facts, it is apparent that the man is a lost cause. The best and most 'honorable' thing for him to do is to get a Magnum 9'' Double-Action Revolver, lure his wife into the room, blast her skull off and then do the same to himself. His misery needs company - her company.

^^^

And on this note, we come to the end of the thread, lol.

lmao@ proo1

I wish I could speak to man as a neutral man. I would talk sense into him.

The man de fall my hand no be small.

He is suffering from pride and has no self confidence.

Jeez!

I said that that MIL is a MIL from hell. I knew it. 

@Mcjive01
Tell this guy to see me. I am serious

macjive01:

On the become more assertive:
She wud complain that he is becoming controlling. Her friends wud start making noise that he is acting like a cave man and very African.
Early in their marriage she complain a lot about the controlling issue, he promised not be like that again so he shdnt want to stir any bee hive and possibly bring a crash of their flimsily hanging marriage.

On the culinary activities:
The man told me a very annoying tale, he said it never so to b that way ooh, that suddenly he noticed his wife's used lunch plate left unwashed in the sink when he comes home at night. He cools washes it while probably hosting with d wife who might b preparing dinner. Then she graduated into expecting him to wash up their both supper dishes. After sometime she stopped washing the pots herself. Currently when he comes back from home he finds the last night used pots, the dishes, her breakfast dishes, lunch plates and garri turner, and her supper plate - that's the day she managed to cook supper.

He said it has now become his duty such that she even now wakes him up from sleep- when he doses off after his supper, and reminds him not to forget to wash the dishes before he hoes to bed ooh!.

He said he hates it, he finds it very belittling when he try's not to do the dishes she wud complain and complain that he is not helping AT ALL at home, that he shdnt forget she is taking care of the kids. The next minute the MIL is on the phone cajoling him to assist his wife nah, does he not know it tiring looking after kids. ( what kind of tiredness cud that b abeg?)

Which marriage was he referring to? The marriage is gone.

It is possible the father in-law is dead or the MIL is separated or possible the woman is a divorce.

Macjive I wish this is just part of ur[i] usual [/i]tales too bad and horrible if its for real.

What is the MIL doing with them,did she come for visit or something and when wud she leave?

Is the man an outcast?No mother,sisters,aunties to invite over?where are they residing,Jand or Naija?

That man is not just sleeping but snoring,I wish someone wud wake him up.Never knew such men really exists outside Nollywood movies.

@ sexy ifyalways, person dey fear divorce for Naija? They re in England.
The MIL, does she hv to live with them to get involved? Phone no dey again? She doesn't anyway, just comes visiting.

And what can his mother, aunty do? Once d noise too much I believe the wife wudnt hesitate to divorce his arse. Then he wud fall back to square one and start all over again. At 49!, bad credit, debt. That's d only biggy in this issue. But sincerely if I was him . . . Mehn. . .I don't know Infact.  It's dicey.

I also think another problem is that the man Is too churchous , If he cud starts thinking more of what he can do for himself and not leaving everything to God, then at least he cud get his fingers off his arse and start demanding attention, n care.

So he don know say the woman dey target the house?

if he bought the house, why not "codedly" put the house for sale, Send the money to naija in a personal account and tell the wife to fork off.

O dikwa egwu o.

dayokanu:

So he don know say the woman dey target the house?

if he bought the house, why not "codedly" put the house for sale, Send the money to naija in a personal account and tell the wife to fork off.

CORRECT.

He should sell all his properties and move over to Nigeria.

With the money from those properties he will be comfortable in Lagos.

Get another younger babe on the side man cuz no man is worth dying for

sexibabes:

Get another younger babe on the side man cuz no man is worth dying for

are u male or female?

so he shd get another younger babe, right? why wud a younger babe accept to go with him when he is broke , no longer considered young, and still in a marriage?

Nice Movie script!

macjive01:

On the finances :
He thinks if he tells the wife the state of his account she wud disrespect him the more n even might break up with him knowing he has nothing- he is scare of the divorce because more than likely she wud get their house n that wud leave him wit nothing. He also has bad credit rating which wud mk it difficult for him to get even a rent, phone or anything.

Sex
She has made him lose so much confidence in himsef that he wud find it difficult[b] going clubbing[/b]. And he finds it irritating voicing such propaganda.
I told him to self-service before her so she knows wat she is doing to u. He simply said he can't do it.

Checking her phone:
He said he prefers to think that she is making out with other men that confirming it cos he doesn't think he can take it.

Holiday:
He doesn't want her to know he doesn't have money n can't afford the holiday. But he also cant afford to be anything part of the holiday cos it will b that he is paying for her to go sleep with other men. It breaks his heart even thinking about it.

What next can one say?

So now he wants to go clubbing kwakwakwakwakwakwakwa!!! this is comedy

^^where did he say that? where did he say he wants to go clubbing?did you bother reading(you obviously didn't) the post or you just decided to turn a blind eye to it?

OP Suggested clubbing, the man found such an idea revolting. Hw come u r the only one seeing the opposite?

The guy is not in control of his life not to talk of his family. Let him take control of his life first

jennykadry:

^^where did he say that? where did he say he wants to go clubbing?did you bother reading(you obviously didn't) the post or you just decided to turn a blind eye to it?

OP Suggested clubbing, the man found such an idea revolting. Hw come u r the only one seeing the opposite?

kwakwakwakwakwa!! jenny you kill me. I have copied @macjive lines and made emboldments on the clubbing story.  eerrmm!! did you notice the TWO question mark emoticons after my line. I guess you turned a blind eye on that hey?

Now on the emboldment in your comment, please bring me up to speed. When was the suggestion made ten year ago or in the past six months of starvation? kwakwakwakwakwa

SA lady, Mehn it won't be an easy full-time job being your partner ooh. Sorry, but Mehn the way u see issues seems to b so Femdom- chauvinistic, if not sadistic .

Can I ask u a question, do u think men shd be made to suffer, impact excruciating pain on them whenever he merely annoys his woman?

Do u also think men shd absolutely respect their wives to the point of slavery ?

chines4:

The guy is not in control of his life not to talk of his family. Let him take control of his life first

Chines4, pls how could he go about it- taking control of his life ? That's why he is on this forum.

macjive01:

SA lady, Mehn it won't be an easy full-time job being your partner ooh. Sorry, but Mehn the way u see issues seems to b so Femdom- chauvinistic, if not sadistic .

Can I ask u a question, do u think men shd be made to suffer, impact excruciating pain on them whenever he merely annoys his woman?

Do u also think men shd absolutely respect their wives to the point of slavery ?

haha! okay enough laughing. Am actually not so bad really. Just ask your friend to be a bit more assertive. I just didnt like the fact that he is older and cant handle his situation like an older person let alone an older man.

Somebody said that he needs to work on himself first before he can work on his marriage and that is sooo true.

Good luck to him though!!

SA Lady:

When was the suggestion made ten year ago or in the past six months of starvation? kwakwakwakwakwa

Macjive made a suggestion. The good hubby found the suggestion silly. Laugh all you want sweetheart. Truth is both man and woman will lose. You think it's easy to be a single mum? she will be done with her backside by the time she lives by herself . Silly wife . If the man decides to sell his house and leave for Nigeria, my dear that woman is in one helluva big trouble I hope her mum is there to fend for her who knows? the men she is phocking outside her matrimonial home might decide to keep her at their place for while atleast until they are done with her saggy behind. She has 3 kids? o'kpari. . A man even @ 70 can always get married and knock his wife with kids, how many men wanna end up with a money lovey kinda woman WITH 3 KIDS? hehehehehehe Ok I shouldn't laugh at her but I just cannot help it : True that the man is in debt but the other truth is : THAT WOMAN HAS GOT HEAPS TO LOSE

I asked you where did that post of yours come from? I repeat, you did not even bother reading the thread because if you did that question of yours wouldn't have popped out in the first place with or without emoticon

It just doesn't make sense.

dayokanu:

So he don know say the woman dey target the house?

if he bought the house, why not "codedly" put the house for sale, Send the money to naija in a personal account and tell the wife to fork off.

Na who go lose?

agabaI23:

O me nke m meforo emefo.

Agaba welldone oooooo

jennykadry has said everything that needs to be said on this topic. if the man doesn't want to follow the advice and suggestions she offered, that's his own wahala.
chaircover does give good advice, but that doesn't mean others don't have good points or can disagree with her from time to time. this is a forum for goodness sake. all opinions are welcome. take the advice you want; leave behind the advice you don't want.
i personally would go with what JK says in this scenario. sometimes, it is the woman's fault. not very often, though.

macjive01:

Chines4, pls how could he go about it- taking control of his life ? That's why he is on this forum.

Let u'r guy think things through before he acts. How can you borrow money to finance u'r wife holiday or M-I-L trip. You can't give what u don't have simple. Let him start applying our fathers money wisdom. save and buy and not buy on credit. especially things that don't add economic value.

A man should be a man and say no and be firm about certain issues. And he should stop being a slave to his wife,just because he wants some action. being off s3x will not kill him. After all some men are catholic priest.

He should put his finance in shape and drop all excess load on his finance

Sorry to bother u guys again but one question I haven't really gotten good answer on is:
should he pay for the holiday ?
the wife is really putting so much pressure on the guy and some of that pressure is getting to me in the way of persistent calls from the man.

I couldn't  answer him outright becos I know he is broke. He is planing on selling his laptop n ps3 to fund part of the 800 pounds holiday, then probably get the rest from his work bonus that wud b paid at the end of the month. Or source it from pawn shops.

He thinks If he doesn't pay for the holiday, it wud look so strange because he has never refused her anything, And un-manly. he is also scared of what her reaction cud be. 

IMO, i think this is  a good opportunity to let her know he is bankrupt, what do u think ?  But the problem is, if she mks a move for divorce thereafter my man wud be messed.

The house is in their names though he has being the person making the mortage payments ,he singularly can't sell it.

And if it gets to divorce she wud get the house plus the man wud still b expected to pay child support for the 3 kids of which cud rake upto 60 % of his salary.
She cud easily claim benefits from the government.

She knows these , I bet that what gives her so much confidence in taunting him.

macjive01:

Sorry to bother u guys again but one question I haven't really gotten good answer on is:
should he pay for the holiday ?
the wife is really putting so much pressure on the guy and some of that pressure is getting to me in the way of persistent calls from the man.

I couldn't  answer him outright becos I know he is broke. He is planing on selling his laptop n ps3 to fund part of the 800 pounds holiday, then probably get the rest from his work bonus that wud b paid at the end of the month. Or source it from pawn shops.

He thinks If he doesn't pay for the holiday, it wud look so strange because he has never refused her anything, And un-manly. he is also scared of what her reaction cud be. 

IMO, i think this is  a good opportunity to let her know he is bankrupt, what do u think ?  But the problem is, if she mks a move for divorce thereafter my man wud be messed.

The house is in their names though he has being the person making the mortage payments ,he singularly can't sell it.

And if it gets to divorce she wud get the house plus the man wud still b expected to pay child support for the 3 kids of which cud rake upto 60 % of his salary.
She cud easily claim benefits from the government.

She knows these , I bet that what gives her so much confidence in taunting him.

this question was answered several pages back. the answer was no.

But if he doesn't pay for it and she ends up making the payment herself wud that not give her reasons for subordination?

And When she comes back from d holiday how wud he handle her, Since more than likely she wud come back with fire n brimstone?

I spoke to some guy who thinks he shd rather tell her his money is tied in a new business he is setting up with a friend that in as much as he wud hav loved to pay for her holiday he cudnt.

So she goes on the holiday thinking her husband wud soon hammer n possibly cud get her showing luv to her husband, then gradually the man wud then delegate some of the domestic chores over to the wife with excuses of business meeting and international business forum.

What do u think?

The solution is trying to get the major asset which is the house in the market and sell it.

Let him tell her he needs the money for some million dollar business. Sell the house, and send the money to naija

He would then divorce her.

Child support and alimony would only be a percentage of income, The money in naija cant be part of the settlement.

he can continue to live his good life in London, while money comes in from naija as gift from family.

No to that vacation. Let her go and work at Walmart and save for the vacation if she desperately needs it

^^^ no chance in hell. There is absolutely no way she is going to attend to such from him. how i wish anyway.

macjive01:

^^^ no chance in hell. There is absolutely no way she is going to attend to such from him. how i wish anyway.

He does not have to tell her if the mortgage is on him alone.

Being a 'christian' he may not agree to initiate a divorce, what he could do is, sell the house like dayo said but without her consent,
Settle his debt and send the rest to naija for some good business he can monitor from the UK. Then man up and become assertive.  If she wants to go, she can go.

The bad thing is that the man has refused to tell the woman how much he is worth which is so bad. He is so afraid of losing respect which he does not have.

Nwoke m a, Onwero umunna?

I asked if the wife has no father earlier?

^^ u see becos the wife is not being violent and blazingly cheating on him (he still doesn't think the wife is cheating on him), so what is he going to tell his people ?
pls come and tell my wife to start having sex with me. huh?

pls tell her to start washing the pots?

also becos they live in Britain everybody wud want to give them their independence and wudnt see a big deal that the man washes plates.

anyway since the man believes in prayer may be he shd pray harder.

what an annoying case. Only God know the number of men under such MALTREATMENT in obodo oyibo.