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Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? - Romance (4) - Nairaland

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5 Reasons Why There Are So Many Decent People Who Are Single Nowadays / 5 Reasons Why There Are So Many Decent People Who Are Single Nowadays. / Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? by Johnnyplus01k(m): 5:22pm On May 30, 2021
Those that are decent and single are not ready base on one or two.......... Anything outside decency is corruptcy
Re: Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? by Newbielearner(m): 5:26pm On May 30, 2021
iampeterben:
1. They have high expectations of their other half. When looking for a life partner, decent people will see if the other half is a good match for them. There may be many partial matches, but few perfect matches.

2. There are few quality people they can take a fancy to. The better the person, the fewer people of the same quality are around her, and the chances of meeting someone of her own calibre and developing a relationship are significantly lower.

3. They have high expectations of themselves and their future. They have goals they want to achieve in life and want to find someone who can make things happen for each other, not someone who will be a burden to them and hold them back.

4. They think there are other things in life that are more important than being in a relationship. They may be obsessed with their career, learning new skills and developing new hobbies, while a relationship may be seen as a waste of time and life.

5. They will carefully judge the sunk cost of being in a relationship. They will carefully assess the risks and benefits of a relationship and choose their partner carefully and deliberately, rather than just getting together with someone else.

6. They may already have someone in mind. This person may be someone she can never be with, but she is unwilling to find someone else to replace that person, so she stays single.

7. The person they like does not like them. The decent person may like someone who is better than her, but that person doesn't like her, and in that person's eyes, she may be an extremely ordinary person. The one who is not willing to settle for anything else will just wait and stays single.

8. They may not know what kind of partner they want. They may be good at business, friendships and platonic relationships, but not at romantic relationships and love. They also need to keep learning to get out of being single.

In general, finding a partner is not like finding a job, and many people want to wait until they are good enough to find a good person to spend their lives with. But the reality is that by the time you are good enough, you will have missed the right person and will not be able to find another one.

By:
Marcus Okoebor

You started wisely, with intuitive objective reasoning, which I applaud.

But your conclusion is terrible.

I for one wouldn't miss the right person for waiting for the right person. Especially when I've seen others who waited and now have exactly the attributes they wrote down on their wishlist.

Good luck.

3 Likes

Re: Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? by Ghast12: 5:27pm On May 30, 2021
Most especially girls chose to , they play games extort men till they become older enough and chased real admirers and suitors

4 Likes

Re: Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? by walkingshadow911: 5:27pm On May 30, 2021
what an interesting thread. just came to read comments lol

1 Like

Re: Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? by Newbielearner(m): 5:28pm On May 30, 2021
Bafanna02:
Ladies don't like we the nice guys

Your profile depicts you as a female. But your comment says otherwise.

Cover blown >: grin
Re: Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? by nauto: 5:29pm On May 30, 2021
i want to get married.
Re: Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? by Asour: 5:32pm On May 30, 2021
optm:
it can be difficult getting a partner willing to build life with you. Infact , You could get depressed from the nagging when the reality of struggling to meet up with bills sets in. Our value system has greatly changed and what worked then might not work now.

That's the challenge with being of diverse generations in conversations such as these.

Declinism (tendency to see the past as better) at times doesn't allow them see how changing circumstances make previously achievable objectives much more harder as time passes.

For e.g. It's just like Li Ka-shing teaching you how to be a real estate investor in Hong Kong today.
Great . But it's (very likely) impossible to be as successful as he has been since circumstances available to him (even though he's a brilliant Businessman) are none existent now.


Another factor people in 'successful' marriage play down on nowadays is the compromises of their partners to making the marriage work.
This is because the party making the compromises never tell them. They (that party) bear the burden as their life's cross. While the less compromising one often goes around touting how successful they've had the marriage.

The day this compromise stops (God forbid) everything unravels.

God help us.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? by ACE1010: 5:32pm On May 30, 2021
DaudaTheSexyGuy:
Tying oneself down to just one toto is not an easy decision.

I prefer to remain single so I can be eating a different soup every week cheesy

Yeye boi grin grin grin grin grin
Re: Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? by OLULAW: 5:33pm On May 30, 2021
Two weeks ago, I visited a friend's family home in London as we haven't seen each other for more than a year due to COVID-19 lockdown and restrictions. The 40-something old wife looked like she's in her late 50s. My primary and secondary school classmate and friend complained about the following, in spite of the fact that his wife is a very senior nurse (Band cool with BSc and MSc degrees from Russell Group UK Universities.
1. She consistently leaves her hair untidy. Only tidies up when leaving home. At home she looks like a grandma.
2. She farts carelessly, even when her hubby is seated in close proximity having his meals without apologising. When challenged, she rages that it was as a result of medical conditions. She doesn't deem it necessary to say "I'm sorry " whenever she farts, accidentally. The hubby is simply expected to suck it up.
3. She has mouth odour. Hubby advised that she takes brush and tooth paste to night shifts so that in the early hours of the morning, before AM shift colleagues arrive, she should freshen up. Also before coming to bed that she should freshen up 'north' and 'south'. The advise fell on deaf ears. As such, they haven't kissed in 5 years and sex life is perfunctory. He simply doesn't want to end the 20 years relationship because of the kids.

What do I take from the above? These are some of the reasons why relationships disintegrate. Women take things for granted. They think marriage is a bond and their husband are forever trapped. This friend is very bitter, saying how do you enjoy sex with someone whose 'north' and 'south' leaves much to be dedired.

Being single seems preferable these days. It's so easy to move on. The world is already overpopulated why bring more lives into it. This is why I remain a chronic bachelor right into my very late 40s, and have no plans to marry. I have mutual friends, NSA, instead.

14 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? by OLULAW: 5:34pm On May 30, 2021
Two weeks ago, I visited a friend's family home in London as we haven't seen each other for more than a year due to COVID-19 lockdown and restrictions. The 40-something old wife looked like she's in her late 50s. My primary and secondary school classmate and friend complained about the following, in spite of the fact that his wife is a very senior nurse-Band 8-with BSc and MSc degrees from Russell Group UK Universities.
1. She consistently leaves her hair untidy. Only tidies up when leaving home. At home she looks like a grandma.
2. She farts carelessly, even when her hubby is seated in close proximity having his meals without apologising. When challenged, she rages that it was as a result of medical conditions. She doesn't deem it necessary to say "I'm sorry " whenever she farts, accidentally. The hubby is simply expected to suck it up.
3. She has mouth odour. Hubby advised that she takes brush and tooth paste to night shifts so that in the early hours of the morning, before AM shift colleagues arrive, she should freshen up. Also before coming to bed that she should freshen up 'north' and 'south'. The advise fell on deaf ears. As such, they haven't kissed in 5 years and sex life is perfunctory. He simply doesn't want to end the 20 years relationship because of the kids.

What do I take from the above? These are some of the reasons why relationships disintegrate. Women take things for granted. They think marriage is a bond and their husbands are forever trapped. This friend is very bitter, saying how do you enjoy sex with someone whose 'north' and 'south' leave much to be desired.

Being single seems preferable these days. It's so easy to move on. The world is already overpopulated why bring more lives into it. This is why I remain a chronic bachelor right into my very late 40s, and have no plans to marry. I have mutual friends, NSA, instead.

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? by ACE1010: 5:35pm On May 30, 2021
powerbank69:
Relationships in this part of the world is a poverty alleviation scheme, you ought to know better.

No money, No honey.

Thanks and God bless !!!!


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Re: Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? by Debra911(f): 5:36pm On May 30, 2021
iampeterben:
1. They have high expectations of their other half. When looking for a life partner, decent people will see if the other half is a good match for them. There may be many partial matches, but few perfect matches.

2. There are few quality people they can take a fancy to. The better the person, the fewer people of the same quality are around her, and the chances of meeting someone of her own calibre and developing a relationship are significantly lower.

3. They have high expectations of themselves and their future. They have goals they want to achieve in life and want to find someone who can make things happen for each other, not someone who will be a burden to them and hold them back.

4. They think there are other things in life that are more important than being in a relationship. They may be obsessed with their career, learning new skills and developing new hobbies, while a relationship may be seen as a waste of time and life.

5. They will carefully judge the sunk cost of being in a relationship. They will carefully assess the risks and benefits of a relationship and choose their partner carefully and deliberately, rather than just getting together with someone else.

6. They may already have someone in mind. This person may be someone she can never be with, but she is unwilling to find someone else to replace that person, so she stays single.

7. The person they like does not like them. The decent person may like someone who is better than her, but that person doesn't like her, and in that person's eyes, she may be an extremely ordinary person. The one who is not willing to settle for anything else will just wait and stays single.

8. They may not know what kind of partner they want. They may be good at business, friendships and platonic relationships, but not at romantic relationships and love. They also need to keep learning to get out of being single.

In general, finding a partner is not like finding a job, and many people want to wait until they are good enough to find a good person to spend their lives with. But the reality is that by the time you are good enough, you will have missed the right person and will not be able to find another one.

By:
Marcus Okoebor
All these just describe my singleness grin. I just prefer to be single to be at peace; not like I don't wish to be in a relationship but there are no true love out there. Pretty girls are preys to predators. Most are pretenders, cheaters and people who just want to chop & clean mouth, in fact even destabilize you emotionally. I have my family and friends, I'm fine with them. They show me true love and happiness..

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? by jaxxy(m): 5:38pm On May 30, 2021
Nice reasons and write up.
Re: Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? by Tony142: 5:41pm On May 30, 2021
humilitypays:
Because most decent single guys are broke, unemployed or struggling while the decent girls are greedy waiting for Tiger Woods shocked shocked


There is nothing like decent boys and girls, all na scam, people looking reserved, innocent, introverted do not mean they are decent , know this and know peace

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? by optm(m): 5:42pm On May 30, 2021
Asour:


That's the challenge with being of diverse generations in conversations such as these.

Declinism (tendency to see the past as better) at time doesn't allow us see how changing circumstances make previously achievable objectives much more harder as time passes.

For e.g. It's just like Li-Kashing teaching you how to be a real estate investor in Hong Kong today. Very likely impossible to be as successful as he has since circumstances available to him (even though he's a brilliant Businessman) are none existent now.


Another factor people in 'successful' marriage play down on nowadays is the compromises of their partners to making the marriage work.
This is because the party making the compromises never tell them. They (that party) bear the burden as their life's cross. While the less compromising one often goes around touting how successful they've had the marriage.

The day this compromise stops (God forbid) everything unravels.

God help us.
yeah i quite agree
Re: Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? by jaxxy(m): 5:43pm On May 30, 2021
OLULAW:
Two weeks ago, I visited a friend's family home in London as we haven't seen each other for more than a year due to COVID-19 lockdown and restrictions. The 40-something old wife looked like she's in her late 50s. My primary and secondary school classmate and friend complained about the following, in spite of the fact that his wife is a very senior nurse (Band cool with BSc and MSc degrees from Russell Group UK Universities.
1. She consistently leaves her hair untidy. Only tidies up when leaving home. At home she looks like a grandma.
2. She farts carelessly, even when her hubby is seated in close proximity having his meals without apologising. When challenged, she rages that it was as a result of medical conditions. She doesn't deem it necessary to say "I'm sorry " whenever she farts, accidentally. The hubby is simply expected to suck it up.
3. She has mouth odour. Hubby advised that she takes brush and tooth paste to night shifts so that in the early hours of the morning, before AM shift colleagues arrive, she should freshen up. Also before coming to bed that she should freshen up 'north' and 'south'. The advise fell on deaf ears. As such, they haven't kissed in 5 years and sex life is perfunctory. He simply doesn't want to end the 20 years relationship because of the kids.

What do I take from the above? These are some of the reasons why relationships disintegrate. Women take things for granted. They think marriage is a bond and their husband are forever trapped. This friend is very bitter, saying how do you enjoy sex with someone whose 'north' and 'south' leaves much to be dedired.

Being single seems preferable these days. It's so easy to move on. The world is already overpopulated why bring more lives into it. This is why I remain a chronic bachelor right into my very late 40s, and have no plans to marry. I have mutual friends, NSA, instead.

There a bad examples and good examples in marriage. U can make urs like one of the good ones.

1 Like

Re: Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? by 1EmmyKay: 5:45pm On May 30, 2021
Hmmn, my stance for this relationship matter is that just find a partner you can be happy together. Life full of ups and downs this present day Nigeria Romeo and Juliet Love no fit work lai lai. Cos things are rough and life is hard here na where bliss and no more issues of life dey that's where love thrives. But problems here and there. So who would find a partner that will add more problems to the one he or she is already loaded with?

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? by Asour: 5:46pm On May 30, 2021
OLULAW:
Two weeks ago, I visited a friend's family home in London as we haven't seen each other for more than a year due to COVID-19 lockdown and restrictions. The 40-something old wife looked like she's in her late 50s. My primary and secondary school classmate and friend complained about the following, in spite of the fact that his wife is a very senior nurse-Band 8-with BSc and MSc degrees from Russell Group UK Universities.
1. She consistently leaves her hair untidy. Only tidies up when leaving home. At home she looks like a grandma.
2. She farts carelessly, even when her hubby is seated in close proximity having his meals without apologising. When challenged, she rages that it was as a result of medical conditions. She doesn't deem it necessary to say "I'm sorry " whenever she farts, accidentally. The hubby is simply expected to suck it up.
3. She has mouth odour. Hubby advised that she takes brush and tooth paste to night shifts so that in the early hours of the morning, before AM shift colleagues arrive, she should freshen up. Also before coming to bed that she should freshen up 'north' and 'south'. The advise fell on deaf ears. As such, they haven't kissed in 5 years and sex life is perfunctory. He simply doesn't want to end the 20 years relationship because of the kids.

What do I take from the above? These are some of the reasons why relationships disintegrate. Women take things for granted. They think marriage is a bond and their husband are forever trapped. This friend is very bitter, saying how do you enjoy sex with someone whose 'north' and 'south' leaves much to be dedired.

Being single seems preferable these days. It's so easy to move on. The world is already overpopulated why bring more lives into it. This is why I remain a chronic bachelor right into my very late 40s, and have no plans to marry. I have mutual friends, NSA, instead.

Are you for real ?
Re: Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? by Ashirioluwa: 5:49pm On May 30, 2021
That’s their decision. Stop worrying yourself about what people do or don’t do in their life. Most people are happy staying single than going into union with a bully like Mr. Femi Fani Kayode that will make your life miserable.

Marriage of a thing is overrated in Africa and especially Nigeria. Marriage is not for everybody.

2 Likes

Re: Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? by OLULAW: 5:49pm On May 30, 2021
jaxxy:


There a bad examples and good examples in marriage. U can make urs like one of the good ones.

You're right. The friend whose spouse I described above did everything to change the situation all to no avail. This is a woman she mentored from nothing. As for me, I'll never marry. There is nothing special about marriage. It's a cross I'm not prepared to bear.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? by Mrsoft3(m): 5:53pm On May 30, 2021
Debra911:

All these just describe my singleness grin. I just prefer to be single to be at peace; not like I don't wish to be in a relationship but there are no true love out there. Pretty girls are preys to predators. Most are pretenders, cheaters and people who just want to chop & clean mouth, in fact even destabilize you emotionally. I have my family and friends, I'm fine with them. They show me true love and happiness..

Nicely said
Re: Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? by Nobody: 5:54pm On May 30, 2021
people think they are old fashion as in wor ja yorubas go understand
Re: Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? by OLULAW: 5:54pm On May 30, 2021
Asour:


Are you for real ?


Exactly what do you mean? I'm a successful professional guy. No regrets. I have a bedmate not a wife, and we can spilt anytime. Marriage is a farce. Bringing new lives to this troubled world is disgusting.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? by bigpicture001: 5:54pm On May 30, 2021
Koryc:
They want perfect partners.

That sums it all
Re: Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? by Chargingpoint: 5:55pm On May 30, 2021
smiliyB:
We plentyyy oo and you're right on point. We want those that don't want us, that's life sha cry Lol

Re: Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? by SweetDipBenny(m): 5:56pm On May 30, 2021
I too I'm a nice guy grin
Re: Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? by oshaosha2014(m): 5:59pm On May 30, 2021
Different STDs you will be availed.

DaudaTheSexyGuy:
Tying oneself down to just one toto is not an easy decision.

I prefer to remain single so I can be eating a different soup every week cheesy

1 Like

Re: Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? by Asour: 6:02pm On May 30, 2021
OLULAW:


Exactly what do you mean? I'm a successful professional guy. No regrets. I have a bedmate not a wife, and we can spilt anytime. Marriage is a farce. Bringing new lives to this troubled world is disgusting.

I am referring to the story of your family friend NOT yours.

Even though I am not supportive of your approach,
I totally respect your decisions.

1 Like

Re: Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? by Eriokanmi: 6:03pm On May 30, 2021
optm:
it can be difficult getting a partner willing to build life with you. Infact , You could get depressed from the nagging when the reality of struggling to meet up with bills sets in. Our value system has greatly changed and what worked then might not work now.
I concur. Things have really changed now as I also mentioned in my post.

2 Likes

Re: Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? by jaxxy(m): 6:07pm On May 30, 2021
OLULAW:


You're right. The friend whose spouse I described above did everything to change the situation all to no avail. This is a woman she mentored from nothing. As for me, I'll never marry. There is nothing special about marriage. It's a cross I'm not prepared to bear.

There are people who don’t care much about being better version of themselves, some are not advised taking type, people come with various triats and character flaws and some came with everything as close to what u want.

This is why u must always let people be themselves b4 they start trying to impress u because their real selves can always show up and u have to know if it’s smtn u can tolerate.

The part I hate is when a lady is slim or shapely and then goes all fat just because she’s married or has children. Whereas there are many married women with kids in perfect shape out there.

Life is about choices and ure entitled to ur choice. Lol

6 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Are So Many Decent People Single Nowadays? by membranus: 6:09pm On May 30, 2021
YoungboyNBA:
I dey this list honestly speaking.

Abeg,if you hide your face you no go see person help you or dey with you,so I have to be honest.

I'm now interested in a relationship . I'm 22 from Niger Delta, any girl interested you can mention me with your contact details ASAP. wink I'm even ready to simp for you.

At 22 you are too young to marry. Work out your future first.

2 Likes

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