I Just Discovered My Wife's Past, How She Lived Her Life While On Campus - Family - Nairaland
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| I Just Discovered My Wife's Past, How She Lived Her Life While On Campus by LiegeMan(m): 11:29pm On Oct 26, 2021 |
Anger And Vengeance Is Taking The Best Part Of Me hello nairalanders, Sorry to disturb your peace but this has been going on in my mind for long and I really need suggestions on how to overcome it. I gave in to ire/anger and it's gradually taking the best part of me since I made a little discovery about my wife's past and how she lived her life while in the campus. I will try and make it as snappy as possible in order not to make you spend much of your time on my case. Now, it goes this way, my wife came from a middle class family and she attended one of the best and prestigious higher institutions in the country, they're not too rich and they're not poor, infact, their family name can't be in the same sentence with poverty. She had everything she needed and lived her life to the fullest while in the campus, she flirted with and dated the best guys in the campus, she visited many night clubs and other exuberant and flamboyant life style that pertains to the campus. Now on my own part, I attended one of the Colleges of Education that littered our country, I did everything all by myself, I sponsored myself throughout my stay in the college, I did all manner of odd jobs to survive, sometimes, I would miss lectures due to lack of cash, no one to assist, all these limitations made me not to pay attention towards the opposite sex as I was busy struggling to survive and hoping unto God for a miracle. Right now, all I am feeling is anger, ire, all I want now is vengeance knowing fully well that while I was suffering and struggling to survive, fasting without praying, carrying bricks and block from one floor to the other, jumping from one market to the other hawking my wares, that my wife was busy somewhere enjoying and partying away her future, right now, I want to have my revenge, I want to live those life that I wasn't opportune to live, I want to flirt and have fun with many ladies both young and old, I want to visit as many night clubs as possible now that money is flowing in, I careless about the consequences and how she may feel, these are exactly what I'm feeling now. this can't keep troubling me that's why I brought it here for suggestions and elderly advice. 80 Likes 13 Shares |
| Re: I Just Discovered My Wife's Past, How She Lived Her Life While On Campus by funshint(m): 12:35am On Oct 27, 2021 |
Is she still living that kind of lifestyle? Is she not fulfilling her duties to you as a wife? So why do you want to set your house and future on fire because of a past that bears no correlation with your present? We are not destined to live thesame life pattern. This "revenge" you want to take; you'll only end up hurting yourself because it has no basis. What has happened in the past belong to the past nothing can change it. Accept this and have peace! 790 Likes 61 Shares |
| Re: I Just Discovered My Wife's Past, How She Lived Her Life While On Campus by Kobojunkie: 12:49am On Oct 27, 2021 |
LiegeMan:Vengeance? What you describe if stewpidity instead!  If there is anyone for you to be pissed at , it should be your mother and your father who both failed to invest in your education resulting in you leading a hard life in college. Their incompetence as parents is what robbed you of all you desired. Now, if you chose to destroy your marriage in order to fulfill those vain desires now, you will have cemented yourself a fool responsible for destruction of your future for the sake of those desires.. your wife will still have no fault in any in it. 676 Likes 34 Shares |
| Re: I Just Discovered My Wife's Past, How She Lived Her Life While On Campus by CandyOps(m): 2:03am On Oct 27, 2021 |
Hmmm.. there's something you're not telling us, bro. Why are you sad she had fun while in school and you didn't? You said something about anger & vengeance? Where is this anger coming from? Now, when you answer this question about why you're mad she had it easy in school also question why you feel the way you feel about the answer. The aim is to ask & reveal to yourself the source or root of this anger you feel. And to do that you have to ask yourself a 3-level deep question starting from "why do I feel this way?" Then ask yourself, "why do I feel this way about your 'answer'?" Then go a 3rd level deep. Also question why you fe about the 2nd answer. And there you'll find the root of this anger. Funny thing is when you master this simple yet effective skill of self-awareness you will be in complete control of your emotions and actions. 52 Likes 8 Shares |
| Re: I Just Discovered My Wife's Past, How She Lived Her Life While On Campus by Elporo(m): 3:32am On Oct 27, 2021 |
LiegeMan: So, why did you get married? (FWIW, I  )When people tell you; as a guy .. you stand nothing to lose by marrying late (within reason). You can have a baby mama, or marry a single mother when you grow older (worst case). So many solutions for a man. Please just file for a divorce; before she gets pregnant IMHO; no married couple should make babies for at least 2 years. I mean .. you know this right  18 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: I Just Discovered My Wife's Past, How She Lived Her Life While On Campus by frozen70(f): 4:07am On Oct 27, 2021 |
LiegeMan: To be honest, you are just fighting yourself and it looks like you finds it difficult to forgive I was thinking your wife is messing up while married to you, I never knew that you are talking about the life style she lived while in school You can go ahead and live the knd of life that you want, without any hindrances or permission, after all it's your life 118 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: I Just Discovered My Wife's Past, How She Lived Her Life While On Campus by OloshoMan: 5:30am On Oct 27, 2021 |
WTF is your problem, man. She did all these white in school and you want to do it, now you're married. Your anger isn't channeled in the right place tbh... you May end up destroying the marriage in the process. Get a grip, man. Not her fault. 65 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: I Just Discovered My Wife's Past, How She Lived Her Life While On Campus by LiegeMan(m): 6:36am On Oct 27, 2021 |
Kobojunkie:thanks for the advice, But Dad joined his ancestors when I was still in elementary school owing to diabetes, Mom single handedly trained me and my siblings through out elementary, and secondary school till the burden became much on her to carry alone, it wasn't their fault in any way. I've not done any of what I stated. 31 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: I Just Discovered My Wife's Past, How She Lived Her Life While On Campus by LiegeMan(m): 6:41am On Oct 27, 2021 |
funshint:I allowed the feeling of I've-been-cheated mentality to take over me. I shouldn't have allowed it in the first place. 50 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: I Just Discovered My Wife's Past, How She Lived Her Life While On Campus by LiegeMan(m): 6:46am On Oct 27, 2021 |
CandyOps: Those ones that she had fun with, care less about her now. They don't give a damn about her. 10 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I Just Discovered My Wife's Past, How She Lived Her Life While On Campus by Raalsalghul: 6:56am On Oct 27, 2021 |
Op, the mistake you made was getting married in your peak. You should have taken like five years break once you became successful to navigate and understand the world of women: explore, travel and enjoy the good things that life has to offer. Your wife used her peak to live the life of the party: socializing, having fun at clubs and careless sex (who knows), going on dates. In your case, you spent the majority of your youth toiling to develop yourself due to your humble background, you've attained relative success (your own peak); it only makes sense you have your own fun too instead you're now weighed down by marriage responsibilities and feeling cheated. You should have thought about this before saying your wedding vows. One more thing, if your wife is the supportive type given her family background, then drop this anger and see how you can make it work. You're in, you're in. 214 Likes 16 Shares |
| Re: I Just Discovered My Wife's Past, How She Lived Her Life While On Campus by IbrahimSkiba(f): 6:58am On Oct 27, 2021 |
LiegeMan: What is this rubbish that I just read?! What is now your anger? That you were raised in poverty and your wife wasn't raised the same way that you were raised? As in I'm not getting the whole point here... I no just understand the trash wey you just typed.. you want vengeance on your wife, as in mumu, I am really not understanding you.. you dey find excuse to cheat and fvck another pussy, how that one come take concern the way of life your wife lived while she was in school? Who's this concentrated illiterate sef this early morning... OP abeg go and sleep... You really don't have any reasonable thing to say, we have more pressing issues in Nigeria than to be bothered about how you and your wife lived your lives while you were schooling 131 Likes 6 Shares |
| Re: I Just Discovered My Wife's Past, How She Lived Her Life While On Campus by Ocholu: 7:05am On Oct 27, 2021 |
OP, let me be real with you; I really pity you and your shallow thinking. Person just wan carry wahala put for him head. That's not how real men think na. See bros, if you eventually begin to fufill this stage of your ire/anger, trust me, another stage will come in which you'll wallow in pain and regret. To be really real with you OP; focus now on building and raising a healthy home. So that your children won't pass through what you passed. Shalom. 58 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: I Just Discovered My Wife's Past, How She Lived Her Life While On Campus by Jman06(m): 7:05am On Oct 27, 2021 |
My brother let me advise you like someone who has experienced the so called "fun" in partying and clubbing lifestyles. There's no fun in such places you are looking at. You'll only end up complicating your life and putting yourself into financial, health and security risks. Don't start a bad life you were not cut out for ab initio! It ends in regrets!! I don't know how else to stress this so you can understand. Meanwhile, since you were not even like in a relationship with your wife at the time she was living such lifestyle, why are you angry about it now? Not like she was cheating on you or something. 84 Likes 5 Shares |
| Re: I Just Discovered My Wife's Past, How She Lived Her Life While On Campus by Magnoliaa(f): 7:15am On Oct 27, 2021 |
Mtcheeewww. Joker. I no know watin una dey gain from cruise posts. 18 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I Just Discovered My Wife's Past, How She Lived Her Life While On Campus by Nobody: 7:32am On Oct 27, 2021 |
23 Likes |
| Re: I Just Discovered My Wife's Past, How She Lived Her Life While On Campus by rooftops: 7:36am On Oct 27, 2021 |
He mean say if for say na dj cuppy you marry we for dey help you dey pick your anger for ground because he go Dan too full since say na from birth that one Dan dey enjoy  34 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I Just Discovered My Wife's Past, How She Lived Her Life While On Campus by Raalsalghul: 7:39am On Oct 27, 2021 |
InTheCloudySky: You still don't understand the Op. 5 Likes |
| Re: I Just Discovered My Wife's Past, How She Lived Her Life While On Campus by GoldenJAT(m): 7:43am On Oct 27, 2021 |
Devil jejely de on him own! Na u de find am!! That ur anger na Very senseless one!! 18 Likes |
| Re: I Just Discovered My Wife's Past, How She Lived Her Life While On Campus by Hayee(f): 7:57am On Oct 27, 2021 |
Men want peace of mind indeed 15 Likes |
| Re: I Just Discovered My Wife's Past, How She Lived Her Life While On Campus by oluwaseyi0: 8:12am On Oct 27, 2021 |
You are just jealous Instead of you to be angry at your poverty invested parents/background you are there envying someone whose parents did their job That's why people from rich/stable home mostly avoid people from low and poverty background, those poverty people are mostly damaged even when they start making money the damages poverty has done to them is still there I blamed your wife for not marring in her circle 70 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: I Just Discovered My Wife's Past, How She Lived Her Life While On Campus by Skullano(m): 8:16am On Oct 27, 2021 |
Are you normal bros? 14 Likes |
| Re: I Just Discovered My Wife's Past, How She Lived Her Life While On Campus by traihit: 8:19am On Oct 27, 2021 |
 In simple terms, you want to use what you never had to destroy what you currently have! Life can be really funny. Do you know if you could have been a victim of a tragedy if you had the opportunity to live exuberantly while on campus? No, that didn't happen to you. You successfully navigated the stinking waters of poverty and now you're married to someone from a family that is well-off. You should be proud of your achievements and work as much as possible to preserve it. That's supposed to be the consolation for what you've been through. You should even fight tooth and nail to keep it. If you have an area where you need your wife to change her behavior, call her attention to it and tell her exactly how you feel. But destroying your marriage because of what you didn't enjoy in the past will cost you more than you're bargaining for. I wish you peace in your home. 39 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: I Just Discovered My Wife's Past, How She Lived Her Life While On Campus by Jeremani: 8:27am On Oct 27, 2021 |
LiegeMan:don't do anything u mentioned, if u intend to live such life, let ur wife be the side chick u want. u guyz should dress up and go to club, enjoy ur self 28 Likes 4 Shares |
| Re: I Just Discovered My Wife's Past, How She Lived Her Life While On Campus by gregyboy(m): 8:51am On Oct 27, 2021 |
LiegeMan: I concor to this, op the only way you can get free from such anger his to do the said above Most ladies enjoy their life to the fullest at a younger age only till when marriages put a stop to it, and most guys start life properly i mean flex life at 30, when the money start coming in while a lady start at the age of 10yrs or lesser Start flirting bro, but nor follow me drag my woman i go vex for that one... Take from other ladies around, more pussies to you bro on your sugar daddy's quest 24 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: I Just Discovered My Wife's Past, How She Lived Her Life While On Campus by Nicklaus619(m): 8:55am On Oct 27, 2021 |
Op u just lack sense. Whom the gods wants to kill will first make mad and clueless, he that fetches ant infested firewood should get ready to host lizards to a feast With these two parables of mine, let me continue thus, your wife past and your past should not be an yardstick to anything. The phrase that this life no balance comes to play, you ain't from rich home, u struggled to graduate and the opposite was her case, where u dating her while in campus and she was cheating on you with the rich guys partying if not what do u intend to revenge about exactly  You sound so childish and amateur, I only pity the poor girl that fell in love and married a big baby like you. If you like use your hand spoil your marriage, Anumpama  23 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I Just Discovered My Wife's Past, How She Lived Her Life While On Campus by slickycee: 9:13am On Oct 27, 2021 |
OP Life no balance. Everybody knows that already. It has already been said here, you married at your peak which made you to assume marital responsibilities Which makes it look like you've been suffering all your life As if you're the guy who never gets pampered or allowed to rest From one challenge to another. It's okay to feel angry and resentful But it's only a feeling , don't let it get the best out of you. Devil just wan tempt you. I feel what you should do now, is to live the type of life you want !!!! Live your life for yourself !!! Yes you're married, you're also the head of your house, so you decide how things should go Your wife hasn't done you wrong by her lifestyle in the past , so be very considerate in your actions. If you trust her and she's wise, talk to her about your anger and regrets, she will tell what you both can do, to have a joyful time in your marriage. My brother, self love heals all wounds. Treat your self like a king , you don't have to die for anyone. There's no award or plaque for being a good person. People may never understand what you've been through or what it feels to have your life, but they don't have To. Whatever you think about yourself will eventually become true Yes you've been through a lot , but you're not a victim, you're a survivor !! Your past made you this great , it didn't destroy you or made you give so now use this feeling to give yourself the best life you can give. Always put yourself First That's Self love . I hope you forgive yourself and make peace with your past. Please enjoy your marriage while you still have it 19 Likes 5 Shares |
| Re: I Just Discovered My Wife's Past, How She Lived Her Life While On Campus by Raalsalghul: 9:44am On Oct 27, 2021 |
Elporo: Spot on! I will always advise against early marriage for men from humble background. After years of suffering, hard work, challenge after challenge, it's only normal they take out time to enjoy the pleasures of life which also includes relationships with women. It's just unfortunate that when they finally see the light family members, religious leaders and village people are on standby to push them into marriage. Though in Op's case, I suspect his wife is bringing in significant tangibles to their marriage that's why he went into it. 22 Likes 6 Shares |
| Re: I Just Discovered My Wife's Past, How She Lived Her Life While On Campus by Pumpumking: 9:50am On Oct 27, 2021 |
LiegeMan: dont hate the playA..hate the game!! Brother it sound like yor head is not correct & I mean that in a nice way sir.. but I tink I can help..I can assure 10000000% that it will come back to hunt so had & u will hate life...truss me. My advise, hopefully yor head will be correct by chrissssmas!!(no oofenesece)  6 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I Just Discovered My Wife's Past, How She Lived Her Life While On Campus by AgentGoat: 10:09am On Oct 27, 2021 |
She was not the cause of your poverty then now? what's her sin now? 12 Likes 1 Share |
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