Is an igbo family I guess. They don't value their wives. They value their children and parents. First of all you made the mistake of brining in a girl as a nanny and second of all, a guy would be much better and also have a sales rep in your shop. As it stands now all respect from you will go to the woman. She is ahead of you in all areas now. The house will be controlled by her. Mistake made is that your husband lives in a house with the father. Don't push your husband also cos if you do, he might kick you out just remain calm and allow the flow. As a smart woman it would be advisable to take a step if you have the money and buy a land if you can build on it, it will be a welcome development. As it stands now your husband priority is divided.

MrPresent:
This is a true life story.

The lady in question is so confused on what to do.

Please advise her responsibly:

(Matured Minds Only)

*************************************

Good morning, I am married into a very wealthy home, my husband is the eldest child, they are four, 3 male and a female.

Last two years I got a nanny, she's 32 years, my husband is in charge of his father company, his father has houses everywhere around the world but he's leaving with us, because of loneliness, he lost his wife 12yrs ago and since then he refused to marry again, he's 65years old but still young, I have a supermarket, so my nanny cook and takes care of the home while I'm away, my nanny has been sleeping with my father in-law but I didn't know, March this year we found out she's pregnant and she said it was papa that was responsible, when I ask her how long she has been sleeping with him she said since last year.

I was shouting at her when my husband shut me up that I shouldn't talk to her like that, that she's not a child, my own house help! When my husband talk to his father about it, he said the girl, that is my nanny has been his companion that he wants to marry her, mogbe I said over my dead body, my own maid, instead of my husband to be on my side he said if marrying the girl will make his father Happy that he has his support, the house we are living is build by my father in-law, it's a duplex, Mummy as am writing you my husband and his brothers followed my father in-law to pay my nanny dowry, they came back yesterday.

I didn't go with the children because I can't Believe my father in-law stoop so low to marry my maid when there are other women out there, last night I was talking to my husband and he told me to stop referring her as my nanny that she's now Married to his father therefore I should be calling her "Aunty mi", and my kids who usually call her Aunty should start calling her "Mummy", and I asked him what will she be calling me, he said anything she likes.

I am just here crying, someone I brought into my home has now turned madam over me, what should I do, and I can't tell my husband to rent another apartment when he has a duplex, papa can't leave either because he want to be close to his son, how long can I take this, please I need advice. Thanks. Married for 10years.

What a Life!

******************
What Are Your Thoughts?

She would be in the comment section reading.

I come late sha! Bit these na interesting one.

First i will say,

Nanny is a domestic worker (employee of yours). And not a Slave as most normally see maids as.

In the developed country Nannies, domestic worker, care giver are a well recognised job which if an employer mistreat or voilets their right could land the employer into a serious trouble.

Now having cleared that out,

Your nanny is a matured lady who has right to be into a romantic relationship just like yourself or any other person.

I undwrderstand, you feel your father in law could have married any other peron.

But thats a very wrong thing to say. It simply means that you consider your Employer as your slave, who doesnt deserve to be loved or in a relationship. And thats a very bad way to see a fellow person. And that speaks very high about your treatment and working relationship with your employee.

Look there is no challenge.

All you need to do now is to try your very best to stop seeing your ex employee as a competitor. See her as an ex employee and not as a Slave.

Am sure she would be willing to embrace peace. And leave with you as a family. Infact she has been an employee as well as a family but you saw just a Slave in her.

So i tell you a gain. There is no challenge.

Allow peace to rain. And bless God for her who has also blessed and promoted your employee to a madam.

Let love lead.

The selfishness and pride reflect all over you!

Madam, please channel all your fresh energy to build your own home, don't be selfish and don't let pride bring your family down.

You have to learn from this, everyone in life deserves to be happy irrespective of their status.
Calm down, draw her near, love her the more, then you have more good side of your husband.

To cap it all, please leave that home and allow the new couple to enjoy their life since you cannot stand it.

I see pride and selfishness.....!

MrPresent:
This is a true life story.

The lady in question is so confused on what to do.

Please advise her responsibly:

(Matured Minds Only)

*************************************

Good morning, I am married into a very wealthy home, my husband is the eldest child, they are four, 3 male and a female.

Last two years I got a nanny, she's 32 years, my husband is in charge of his father company, his father has houses everywhere around the world but he's leaving with us, because of loneliness, he lost his wife 12yrs ago and since then he refused to marry again, he's 65years old but still young, I have a supermarket, so my nanny cook and takes care of the home while I'm away, my nanny has been sleeping with my father in-law but I didn't know, March this year we found out she's pregnant and she said it was papa that was responsible, when I ask her how long she has been sleeping with him she said since last year.

I was shouting at her when my husband shut me up that I shouldn't talk to her like that, that she's not a child, my own house help! When my husband talk to his father about it, he said the girl, that is my nanny has been his companion that he wants to marry her, mogbe I said over my dead body, my own maid, instead of my husband to be on my side he said if marrying the girl will make his father Happy that he has his support, the house we are living is build by my father in-law, it's a duplex, Mummy as am writing you my husband and his brothers followed my father in-law to pay my nanny dowry, they came back yesterday.

I didn't go with the children because I can't Believe my father in-law stoop so low to marry my maid when there are other women out there, last night I was talking to my husband and he told me to stop referring her as my nanny that she's now Married to his father therefore I should be calling her "Aunty mi", and my kids who usually call her Aunty should start calling her "Mummy", and I asked him what will she be calling me, he said anything she likes.

I am just here crying, someone I brought into my home has now turned madam over me, what should I do, and I can't tell my husband to rent another apartment when he has a duplex, papa can't leave either because he want to be close to his son, how long can I take this, please I need advice. Thanks. Married for 10years.

What a Life!

******************
What Are Your Thoughts?

She would be in the comment section reading.

"those whose nut is cracked by a benevolent spirit should be humble"....Chinua Achebe.

You are only a privileged beneficiary. Climb down your high horse and accept the reality.

Rejoice with them,Wish them well and be happy. By so doing, you secure your home.

Gracias!

Your Nanny is 32 years old, your father in law is 65 years, I can almost guess you are about same age as "your nanny" or maybe even younger than her.

I think you're having a problem with the situation cos you have given her a wrong designation and the moment you change her designation to the correct one and see her as such, both of you will have peace and the next step will be taken.

Her correct designation is that she is almost the step mother of your husband
so technically your quasi step mother in law, give her that designation, encourage her to get your father in law to marry her, so they both can move out of your house and into one of the man's houses, I'm sure she will love that to bits. Also since your hubby had rebuked you in the past for shouting at her, then talk to him too about the need to ask his father to marry the woman since she makes him happy, just tell him you are only interested in the man's happiness, nothing else

This will lead to the next step of that marriage and moving out of your house so you can now be boss in your house as you so crave

MrPresent:
This is a true life story.

The lady in question is so confused on what to do.

Please advise her responsibly:

(Matured Minds Only)

*************************************

Good morning, I am married into a very wealthy home, my husband is the eldest child, they are four, 3 male and a female.

Last two years I got a nanny, she's 32 years, my husband is in charge of his father company, his father has houses everywhere around the world but he's leaving with us, because of loneliness, he lost his wife 12yrs ago and since then he refused to marry again, he's 65years old but still young, I have a supermarket, so my nanny cook and takes care of the home while I'm away, my nanny has been sleeping with my father in-law but I didn't know, March this year we found out she's pregnant and she said it was papa that was responsible, when I ask her how long she has been sleeping with him she said since

pls dn't tell us u2 av an affair wit ur fada inlaw

BluntTheApostle:


The problem with the woman and many other people (both men and women) is that they are driven by class or socioeconomic status.

That is why she kept repeating the words "my own nanny".

If my mom (may she continue to rest in peace) were to fall in love with my driver, I would rather be asking her questions about his personality, his ambitions, his finer qualities. I will not be shouting "My driver" up down as if being a driver automatically makes one a lesser human being.

Don't be too sure how you will feel, until you find yourself in certain situations you might not know what your real action will be.
Feelings & decision are two different things, as human you must feel hurt that your mother got pregnant not just for anyone buh someone her son is probably older than or your mere employee, the society cares less about fathers but with mothers things are alway different, you might decide to give your blessings @ the end but that does not negate the hurt or disappointment you feel as a human lets be realistic.

The most annoying,(the statement of my maid).Maybe she's planning to give her sister to the father inlaw.greedy woman.

ImaIma1:
I see no reason why they should still all be living under the same roof. The reason the FIL was there was because of loneliness. Now that he's married, he's no more lonely. Can't he move into one of his houses?

How will they all be living in the same house with all the awkwardness. Papa was irresponsible, sleeping with the maid. Now he has married her and still staying in the same house. Yet he is given a pat on the back because he is rich and he owns the house.

All I see in the comments by guys especially, is the agenda to condemn the woman like she's completely crazy to be upset. But everyone acting like it's normal and ok. If it's the other way round that her own mother sleeps with the security and gets pregnant. These same men here will do a u-turn with their fingers.

How can a married woman bring in a 32 years old unmarried maid into her matrimonial home. Two matured women in a house of a man. The maid Will be foolish if she didn’t grab the opportunity to climb to success.

What does she expect.

The maid woman don’t have ambitions in life abi. She get served by her laziness to take care of her home.

You see how God raises the lowly and bring down kings from their thrones?
The lady she called nanny was raised to the position of a madam in the same house. And instead of her to be happy that someone got elevated through she's mad and probably looking for a way to bring her down. If you try anything funny, you die first. So if you want to maintain your position is that house, treat her like your husband's step mother.

Dextre:



Honestly ehn, unless the woman has been wicked to the nanny, then she shouldn’t even make a fuss about it. If person wey get papa say no problem, wetin be ur own there, even to the extent of crying and writing up a 300words essay in the name of ‘I need a suggestion’

Well said.

This one be small matter.
Live and let live.

Let the once nanny be with her husband, and you be with your own husband.


But it’s like you’re too desperate in clutching tight to your opinion, hence your husband appeared to not heed to your opinion. Relax. Understand that he is your husband, therefore his opinion counts more all the time.

I can understand the plight of the woman come to think of it, She should be grateful to God that the Nanny didn't sleep and got pregnant for her husband.
My people has a parable that you don't put a goat and yam together, otherwise the goat will eat the yam. Can imagine bringing a 32 year old woman and a widower together? They are grown adult with sexual needs. Her father inlaw has the right to take the woman ( Nanny) as wife.
The woman in question has a problem of pride. I think her frustration is not that her father in law married the woman, but that the woman is her maid. Someone who in her estimation is lower than her. Hence her statement, that her father inlaw stooped too low to sleep with an ordinary maid. That Pride.
Well the did has been done. There's nothing she can do about it. She should accept her former maid as a part of the family now.
It will be foolishness to fight her since she's now wife to her father inlaw.
If she can't stomach it, she should find a way to convince her husband so they can move to another house now that Baba has somebody to take care of him. If i were her husband that's what i will do.

MrPresent:
This is a true life story.

The lady in question is so confused on what to do.

Please advise her responsibly:

(Matured Minds Only)

*************************************

Good morning, I am married into a very wealthy home, my husband is the eldest child, they are four, 3 male and a female.

Last two years I got a nanny, she's 32 years, my husband is in charge of his father company, his father has houses everywhere around the world but he's leaving with us, because of loneliness, he lost his wife 12yrs ago and since then he refused to marry again, he's 65years old but still young, I have a supermarket, so my nanny cook and takes care of the home while I'm away, my nanny has been sleeping with my father in-law but I didn't know, March this year we found out she's pregnant and she said it was papa that was responsible, when I ask her how long she has been sleeping with him she said since last year.

I was shouting at her when my husband shut me up that I shouldn't talk to her like that, that she's not a child, my own house help! When my husband talk to his father about it, he said the girl, that is my nanny has been his companion that he wants to marry her, mogbe I said over my dead body, my own maid, instead of my husband to be on my side he said if marrying the girl will make his father Happy that he has his support, the house we are living is build by my father in-law, it's a duplex, Mummy as am writing you my husband and his brothers followed my father in-law to pay my nanny dowry, they came back yesterday.

I didn't go with the children because I can't Believe my father in-law stoop so low to marry my maid when there are other women out there, last night I was talking to my husband and he told me to stop referring her as my nanny that she's now Married to his father therefore I should be calling her "Aunty mi", and my kids who usually call her Aunty should start calling her "Mummy", and I asked him what will she be calling me, he said anything she likes.

I am just here crying, someone I brought into my home has now turned madam over me, what should I do, and I can't tell my husband to rent another apartment when he has a duplex, papa can't leave either because he want to be close to his son, how long can I take this, please I need advice. Thanks. Married for 10years.

What a Life!

******************
What Are Your Thoughts?

She would be in the comment section reading.

This is a battle of ruthless Pride for her.
She obviously doesn't treat her maid right or see her as a worthy woman, if she does otherwise & has a good relationship with her maid she wouldn't be bothered to the extent of crying.
She only fears that her maid would reciprocate the vile attitude she has showed towards her “maid”



Yorubas would say : “Ba Se bi eru la bi omo”

Since the maid is not related to her, so no cause of alarm, she can always get another maid, and now that her father in-law is about to marry her maid, she should tell her husband they look for another place to stay, since it was loneliness that made him stay with them initially, it won't be nice for both of them to stay together under the same roof.

Listen woman all this matter is not of your concern at all your father in-law marries whom ever he want to marry since he's not getting married to you
Because she's your maid that means she is not entitled to good things abi.... (You are the definition of enemies of progress)
Do you blame your husband for supporting his father at that age the old man need cares, how many where you able to provide when you left for your working place
What you should advice your husband to do was to let your father in-law and his new wife whom you must give due respect to if pride no blow your head out of proportion was to go back to another house your father in-law have
and if you like you can have another nanny
And stop been bitter about your nanny getting married to your father in-law. That's her own share of life not even you can stop the written hand of God in her life

So her anger is because she is her nanny, so Nanny's are animal. God has remembered her nanny through her.
How many times have she cared about the emotional welfare of her father in law or give him what he wants emotionally. She should respect the lady and make her friend before she looses her husband too because the son can never fight his father while they happy that his father has found love again. All these lazy carrer Madam's.

Woman and problem sha. What’s your problem with that, is it your husband she married huh. Did she disturb you? What’s your problem, instead for you to create a better home with her you are trying to create problems where there is no problem. Please note if you didn’t be careful you may leave your peaceful home for your nanny. Use your head and build a good relationship with your nanny.

Kingbeacon:
Listen woman all this matter is not of your concern at all your father in-law marries whom ever he want to marry since he's not getting married to you
Because she's your maid that means she is not entitled to good things abi.... (You are the definition of enemies of progress)
Do you blame your husband for supporting his father at that age the old man need cares, how many where you able to provide when you left for your working place
What you should advice your husband to do was to let your father in-law and his new wife whom you must give due respect to if pride no blow your head out of proportion was to go back to another house your father in-law have
and if you like you can have another nanny
And stop been bitter about your nanny getting married to your father in-law. That's her own share of life not even you can stop the written hand of God in her life

I concur, same with my explanation.

Assuming u love her and treat her good it won't pain u to this extent. Learn how to love. Marry ur husband and allow her to marry hers. U people are not marrying d same man. Maintain ur track and allow her to maintain hers. U should be happy it is not ur hubby that is responsible...nothing much here..

MrPresent:
This is a true life story.

The lady in question is so confused on what to do.

Please advise her responsibly:

(Matured Minds Only)

*************************************

Good morning, I am married into a very wealthy home, my husband is the eldest child, they are four, 3 male and a female.

Last two years I got a nanny, she's 32 years, my husband is in charge of his father company, his father has houses everywhere around the world but he's leaving with us, because of loneliness, he lost his wife 12yrs ago and since then he refused to marry again, he's 65years old but still young, I have a supermarket, so my nanny cook and takes care of the home while I'm away, my nanny has been sleeping with my father in-law but I didn't know, March this year we found out she's pregnant and she said it was papa that was responsible, when I ask her how long she has been sleeping with him she said since last year.

I was shouting at her when my husband shut me up that I shouldn't talk to her like that, that she's not a child, my own house help! When my husband talk to his father about it, he said the girl, that is my nanny has been his companion that he wants to marry her, mogbe I said over my dead body, my own maid, instead of my husband to be on my side he said if marrying the girl will make his father Happy that he has his support, the house we are living is build by my father in-law, it's a duplex, Mummy as am writing you my husband and his brothers followed my father in-law to pay my nanny dowry, they came back yesterday.

I didn't go with the children because I can't Believe my father in-law stoop so low to marry my maid when there are other women out there, last night I was talking to my husband and he told me to stop referring her as my nanny that she's now Married to his father therefore I should be calling her "Aunty mi", and my kids who usually call her Aunty should start calling her "Mummy", and I asked him what will she be calling me, he said anything she likes.

I am just here crying, someone I brought into my home has now turned madam over me, what should I do, and I can't tell my husband to rent another apartment when he has a duplex, papa can't leave either because he want to be close to his son, how long can I take this, please I need advice. Thanks. Married for 10years.

What a Life!

******************
What Are Your Thoughts?

She would be in the comment section reading.

Madame don mad, so because she was ur maid she must continue to be your maid for life. God what have we men done to you, we r tired of women getting wealthy Cox of kpekus while we use all our strength knowledge and fight to make money only to give it out cox of kpekus

The child yet unborn becomes your brother-in-law

She should count her stars, it's not the husband that was frolicking with the nanny,it would have been a different story by now..

If your husband is not the least bit angry with his father and supports his decision,who you na ehn madam ??

You'll get use to it overtime, don't kill yourself over nothing

I normally don't comment on subjects but I guess I should here. There's nothing wrong in how you feel, it's almost like my best friend getting my sister pregnant without me knowing they were dating. I'd be furious, your case is even worse because title definitions would change. We are humans afterall, but it is what it is. Your nanny is still a human, you pay her salary and there's dignity in labor no matter what one does doesn't make her less worthy of getting married to your father inlaw.
Some pointed to the case of my driver getting my mother pregnant. They are adults afterall, I'd initially be angry but if it's what she wants there's no big deal, just that society favours the male child cause my mum won't lord him over me and he'd still always respect me cause he'd probably always see me a certain way with respect, but fact is it's a tiny bit different for women. They might want to prove themselves and show dominance. Also, the family would say you came into the family also since you were married into it. Lame but true. My advice, don't over flog the issue anymore with your husband, you'd only be making things really worse for yourself especially from your husband and other family members. Have a serious talk with your husband, tell him you felt bad but your father inlaw's happiness matters especially since a child is on the way but he now has someone to take care of him, there's no need to keep staying in that house, you guys should get a place of your own. It's a duplex not a mansion, even if it were a mansion, it's not worth yours or your family's happiness.

God will bless you plenty.....women ehn... sometimes I just wonder how they reason.
Men hardly reason this way. Instead, the fellow man would be happy for jamming upliftment right in his own domain.

Kobojunkie:
So because the lady was her nanny, somehow madam of the house think say nanny no get right to advance herself in life or marry whomever she chooses abi without her, madam's, say so?

Madam of house believed nanny needed permission from her because somehow nanny was meant to exist as Madam's personal property/slave, right?

Na wa oo!

Klass99:


Thank you for sharing your story. It is a thought provoking and valuable experience, people can learn from.

The part in bold is one of the reasons I am so pissed at the main character in this story. She kept going on and on, about the maid and wouldn't even refer to her by her name. As if the maid is not a human being who deserves good things in life.

Some rich people have a bad and wicked mindset, they think others are not qualified to enjoy the nice things they do (like this woman). We had an office event recently and I was putting aside some refreshments for our cleaners and security guards, when one of my bosses said I shouldn't give them small chops, just sandwiches only.

It's not like we didn't have enough to go round, but in his stupid mind, cleaners and guards are not good enough for small chops. He is one of the highest paid staff on payroll, what is small chops for junior staff whose salary is not even a half of his?

@bold:

Them full everywhere.

Even in my office sef.

The child yet unborn becomes your brother-in-law

She should count her stars, it's not the husband that was frolicking with the nanny,it would have been a different story by now..

If your husband is not the least bit angry with his father and supports his decision,who you na ehn madam ??

You'll get use to it overtime, don't kill yourself over nothing,it wouldn't have made any difference if it was an outsider you never even knew(would be worse even who knows?).

Make sure you don't get another nanny ehn,you know how the last one went

Adadioranma79:
Not related at all

Very related and relevant.
If you can’t answer, just waka pass. No obligation to reply.

Biglittlelois:



Do you know the difference between feeling and decision?

Perhaps u need to read it over again.
She is so saddened, bittered about it and resisting the union, not only that but vehemently.
For god's sake, the nanny is 32yrs and not 14yrs. She didn't object to the marriage.

She is a wife that walked into a family where the father-in-law has made wealth, so let the man be and respect his decision along with the family. She can get angry or fill disappointed, but I don't see any bad thing done to her by the maid so far. Perhaps, she feels insecure because of future fight with the maid cos she might not have been treating the maid with respect.

Odingo1:

How can a married woman bring in a 32 years old unmarried maid into her matrimonial home. Two matured women in a house of a man. The maid Will be foolish if she didn’t grab the opportunity to climb to success.

What does she expect.

The maid woman don’t have ambitions in life abi. She get served by her laziness to take care of her home.

There's nothing wrong with the age or being unmarried. What if she was 17, 18, 20,...? It's not a license or justification to sleep with anyone in the house.

What if the maid was married and she still slept with the FIL? Your reasoning is flawed.

I guess you are one of those who see people having maids as lazy. The woman has a business, has children and lives in a duplex. Can you yourself manage a business, children and still clean up a whole duplex? When you want to shame someone, stop and think first.

OP tell her to shut up, I know she must be a spoilt brat because of the way she sounded and tell her to greet her husband for me,na man hm be.