*my broda,i recommend 30 days fasting $ prayers for ya.dat would help or u can extend it if u like.

Jenifa_:

this is a very weird topic because as far as i'm concerned, there are PLENTY of women that fit the description the OP is talking about.
in fact, it is way harder for a girl to find a chaste, clean guy than vice versa.
So I think there is a hole in the story here. I think OP should look at himself maybe the problem comes from him.

I find this very difficult to believe.
unless you are hanging out with the wrong crowd/friends, drinking and going to those wild parties yourself.

I understand your views but its very hard for you to understand me except you are in my position. My friends are dear to me, I met them in church, they are very nice but coming from Nigeria my view of Christianity is different from theirs.So they still go to party and they drink sometimes.they know I dont support those things but sometimes I go to party with them because they are the only people I know here and my light is really shinning in the midst of darkness.My friend tells people I dont drink when we go for party and sometimes I talk to the "party" girls on my believes on premarital sex. Sometimes you dont need to run away from people , you just need grace to stand firm.It might just be God's plan for you to shine the light in thier midst provided you wont embrace their way of life.Self-righteousness is also not good, I that's why I dont see myself better than my friends, I love them and I use every opportunity I have to tell them about the dangers of reckless living. Thanks for your advice anyway.cheers

ok I hear you.
what state do you live in?
and you keep talking about the girls. what about the guys? how many guys have you met who don't drink, party and have s[size=1pt].[/size]ex?
I think you should start by finding guys who share your views and then from there they can introduce you to other people, including girls or their sisters etc.

you need to find a new group of friends where you can fit in. it is very difficult to remain in isolation if you want to maintain your values. maybe you should change your church or find a second church that is more conservative.

also, something to note is that people mature as they age. so you can try meeting women who are in their late 20s who are sober and ready to settle down. guys sober up as they age too. but girls sober up faster. how old are you?
anyway, keep your head up and even if you do end up compromising some of your values, make sure it's for the right lady.

@ poster
u ve d standards u ve set 4 urself,which i suppose *obtainable*,dnt compromise it. Then,i hpe u too match up to the standards u set.
They say christianity is a way of lif and nt a religion,so u dnt alwaz ve to find d christian girl ure lukn 4 in d church.
And i hpe u try to excersise patienbe wit d gals u meet nd undastand them b4 u jump into the conclusion,*they nt gud 4 me*
finaly pray abt ur needs fervently and soon u ll meet dis *ur dream gal*.

people should start learning dating skills, its as much as learning how to make money since it affects the majority of our lives. Poster, your problem is simply you and your dating abilities. Dont sit and take what comes, go after what you want

what really is this standard that's so hard to meet?maybe you should print out some sort of application form,the truth is a lot of you men are not realistic about the kind or type of women you want,always looking for the shakira,beyounce's of the world but you also expect this type of girls to cook,clean with thier false nails and eyelashes.well sorry,they are too busy masting the art of applying may kay and looking sexy to be bothered.

well you have to work on your standards. probably lower it. what people don't understand about character is u may never be able to change it but you can adjust it to the minimal.
i use to have such believe then and unfortunately i was always used and dumped
how can you go on date or court a lady without spending? relationship is expensive if actually you are responsible,
at the end of it you will be considered weak even by the so called angels in your christian community and you begin to wonder where you get your Christianity wrong.
i have gone out with more than 5 ladies different who at the end i found out that they cheated on me and due to that standard i ended it and never accepted anyone who comes back to plea (self righteousness).
guess what i ended up with a good christian and well brought up lady but not a virgin (don't ask me what happened). what a waste of time and resources in the first place.
it was after this i understand that for you to be like Jesus; you must be willing to forgive and understand that everything in this life is by grace and that only you will face your judgment on the last day.
the world we live today is different from the one that was lived before,

Yoru_Igbo:

Please contact Madoba, she sound like she is interested in you and you probably have the same way of thinking, person wey wan die don jam who wan bury am,

Yoru_Igbo, LOL u no well ooh! I tell you say I wan hook up? I'm impressed by the fact that there are still men like the poster out there,am not necessarily interested in the dude. Nigerians in yankee too get issues

wait4me:

What's so funny? I might just be your missing rib for all you know Just kidding around.

@ Poster, It is good to know guys like you are still out there. Do hold on to God and pray for his direction and guide. He never disappoints. Some Men these days don't believe there is gain in chastity even in Churches. A friend of mine who is being trained to be a pastor told me he will not get married unless the lady is pregnant. I couldn't believe my ears. Some of the ladies in Churches are even worse but then, bottom line is that God will not lower his standard because of we humans. He must be obeyed.

Also note that Church, fellowships etc as most people suggested might not just be the only places where you can fine ur desire so I suggest you broaden your horizon while trusting on God's guidance.

Standards are meant to be broken, that's why they are there.

@Poster Come back to NIGERIA and find yourself a WIFE! YANKEE babes no make am. YES I SAID SO!!!

dont compromise,
btw the chances of ur finding a chaste, good looking, with the right things in the right places, well mannered damsel is low compared to ur chances of findly a worldly wise damsel

.i bet if you really met the strict christian types, that wudnt even hug a male, u go take off

If a guy is finding it this tough,now we see why some seriously born again sisters have to lower their standards to get married.
I have a couple of female friends in their early forties who are in this category, these ladies who were Christians from youth, not 'Aristo' turn 'born again' to look for husband type, simply want to follow the scriptures

Apart from the premarital sex thing, there are a whole lot of other values that should be shared.

@poster,
If you truly believe God exists just hand over your want to HIM in prayer and believe it is done with all sincerity with no doubt in you and put your mind off it and wait until he gives you your desire. HE will do it.

Make sure that you dont compromise your standards if you are "genuinely standardized".You will definitely hit the bull's eye someday.

@ OP: simple question. Are you a handsome and clean dude ? Get back at me. Plus what state do you live in ? Also, do you have your greencard or correct visa or are you an illegal ? Ill find you correct babes but ure a ugly and dirty dude with bad teeth ---- hmmm. Holla back

Na ur type be d type I looked for but no find. There are good ladies. Look in d right places and u will find them.

Your kind of girl should be somewhere in Ayilara Empire

@ POSTER,
Are u searching on your own or are u trusting God to direct you, to lead you to the right person?
if you are trusting God, then you don't have to go to Egypt b/4 u can get the best for yourself,
God will direct you. wait for god's time is the best. eccl. 3:1 says there is time for everything.

LOL @MBJ. that guy will sniff fools out and expose them one by one.

OP. Let me assure you that there are so many other men in your shoes. You are perfectly okay.  You need to relax and just continue to ask for God's guidance. And stop making heavy weather of your decision to abstain from sex till marriage. It is a noble yet personal decision, u dont need to raise it with every prospect u meet, if u dont make the move, most ladies are wise enough not to make advances, moreover it is kinda of creepy for a guy to be pleading abstinence as a condition for starting a relationship, any lady will think u have incompetencies u are trying to conceal. When you finally find a gurl that is worth your attention just show her love in other ways that does not involve sex and unless she says what you are giving her is not good enough or she explicitly demands for sex, it should not be an issue. Meanwhile, I hope you are not looking for a virgin for a wife? doing that will make you lose sight of some other important considerations. Look for virtues that can last beyond the wedding night and virginity is not one of them. When you finally meet a worthy lady, make sure the courtship does not last for too long so that you don't fall into temptation. It is easier said than done, especially for those who make heavy weather of it.

your wife is looking at you, just look behind you. you will see her smiling,

^^^^^^ perfecto, beauty at it's height, lol, , what else does a man want?

@poster. . .Sagamite was just being sarcastic with you, and you totally fell for it. Surprised you totally did not notice the green light Madoba was flashing at you.

. . .and to the post, there's something you are leaving out. I can't believe you are searching for a chaste-no-sex-before-marriage-girl. As a girl, i know that every girl wants guys that don't want sex from them as then they become sure of the guy's seriousness.

Dont lower your standard, Every lady out there is not a potential wife material. Dont worry am assuring you that there are still some decent girls out there seperated for good guys like you. Dont look focus, pray more to God,fast and also while praying, watch. pray with one eyes open so the good girls wont pass you by.

Alas! now I'm in yankee and I hardly meet a girl who does not drink goes to wild party and sex is just a normal way of life.

I know more people in the U.S. who DON'T go to wild parties than people who do, so I don't know where

you're finding your women. The key to finding a quality woman is to go to places OF quality. Some people will go to bars or clubs, maybe even meet

someone standing on the bus stop and get involved with them, then complain because they don't meet his so called standards.

No one said you had to marry someone from the Western part of the world! Did they? So go back to your country and find a wife!

Problem solved!

Do you possess the "High Standard" that you want your future spouse to have. A relationship without a compromise is an utopian relationship.

Get real dude

Exactly. He never explained why it is mandatory for him to marry someone from another country.

And how is it he of marrying age, yet knows no one compatible from his own country? Does

he feel no one from his country is his equal now that he's in the West?

Go to church. you will find your type there.

Very interesting piece I must say.