InsideLife2022:
I have been an active member on this forum for the past eight years. I just created this account to bring this issue to limelight. Good evening gentlemen and ladies. I got married in late 2020. God being merciful, we are blessed with a baby of 5 months. My wife has been giving me attitudes of recent. I have tried to find out what the problem has been, she is not saying anything tangible. I am being confused and depressed. I have been begging her to come back to join me after delivery. She keeps traumazing me emotionally. She just told me our marriage is over. She couldn't say what the problem is.

She has not been taking care of the baby. She was medically advised to stop breastfeeding our baby permanently. Is not that she breastfeeds our baby. My mother in-law and sisters in-law have been complaining about her lack of motherly treats.

They told me she doesn't even know how to take care of the baby. They cannot allow my child to be in her custody because she can't take care of the baby as a mother. She has fought her mother for asking her to leave her house to join her husband. Every member of her family has been asking her what the problem is. She keeps telling them to come and marry me that it's over between us.

I haven't told any of my family members or my friends of what is going on in my marriage. I am a kind of person that do not like involving a third party in my new marriage of lest than two years.

Her family has never supported her actions. Her mom and her siblings have been asking me to come take my wife and baby. But, my wife is not ready to join me. It has been a serious issues in her family house each time they push her to go meet her husband.

Her family has ask me to come with some soldiers or the police to come carry my baby and leave her since she claims she is no longer interested in any marriage. I have been trying my best to make sure my wife never lacked anything during her pregnancy and even after delivery.

My in-laws have been very supportive and good to me. I know they have never and will not support her for her wrong actions and behaviors. My challenge is, my baby is just 5 months and I don't want to take the baby to my parents because of the questions people around will be asking. I don't want to be seen as someone who is separated from his wife. I hate divorce with passion. My wife does not have any concrete reason why she decides to stay off our marriage.

Her family is fully in support of my next actions of going to take my baby. Now, the question is this; is it advisable to keep the baby with me while I employ a nanny to raise the baby with me?

Please and please I need mature and sensible advise.

Cc: RoyalRoy

I want this thread to be moved to the right and appropriate section. Thank you!

Dude ,
Let her go I beg …
I know there a back story which I don’t want to address but she isn’t ready to fight for the marriage.
Dude who cares what people say. Split the weeks the child has with both parents.
If it were my daughter, I would NOT support forcing her out with police or soldier. As a father my child is hurting and I’ll try and see if I can help her and the child by extension.
Hopefully by her seeing the child every other week may help her come to her senses but I would not hold my breathe. DO NOT give child to nanny unless you are present unless nanny is code for mistress/gf. Why spend money on nanny when you have capable loving parents available.

You just need to make money. That's all you need.

Its the terrible trend i see. A country with no light no job ,no leadership and yet and yet every body especially the hopeless men feel that marriages and further production of hopeless kids is the way out. Now marriage shouldnt be a phase but a result of maturity, direction ,leadership and responsibility. I will say no more

I feel yu bro, but its simple arithmetic na. yur wife has a serious secret that she is hiding from yu. its very very possible that child is not yours and the tot of it is driving her crazy. its also possible her village boyfriend don hold her down with science ++. if yu ar from Kogi state like wher i came from, i will frankly say she has done something grievous and knowing the consequences she is scared of coming back to yur house cos the gods no dey give second chance. bro, let her be take yur baby show her love i mean real love. getting a nanny is like getting another wife cos gaskiya konji no be yur mate. i pray yu overcome this challenge in yur marriage.

Mr brother truth be told your wife is in love with another man, all the people writing grammar of postpartum na lie, she probably tired of suffering or living a low life, even mad people give birth and take care of their kids, one man somewhere have promised her something,my advise for you try and reach her closest friend that they tell theirselves secret you will know the truth.
Have had same experience na her friend bail me out unfortunately I never married her.

she belong to the hood, so take prayer as a first step before other things follow, if she's your's she will surely come back to her sense and come back to you

You keep saying that she's giving flimsy excuses, what are the flimsy excuses she's been giving? They could be flimsy to you but cogent to her

Bro..... I advise you to read up on post partum depression. This is likely her case.... and if you understand this illness you will be in a better position to manage her behavior and save yourself much stress.
The other reason I can think of is if the baby is not yours. Get a DNA test and know what's up ... clear the mind.

Visit ALLAKADUNA NZEOGWU page on Facebook, read through,.....the ideas of what to do will surface......best of luck.[quote author=InsideLife2022 post=113179023][/quote]

InsideLife2022:
I have been an active member on this forum for the past eight years. I just created this account to bring this issue to limelight. Good evening gentlemen and ladies. I got married in late 2020. God being merciful, we are blessed with a baby of 5 months. My wife has been giving me attitudes of recent. I have tried to find out what the problem has been, she is not saying anything tangible. I am being confused and depressed. I have been begging her to come back to join me after delivery. She keeps traumazing me emotionally. She just told me our marriage is over. She couldn't say what the problem is.

She has not been taking care of the baby. She was medically advised to stop breastfeeding our baby permanently. Is not that she breastfeeds our baby. My mother in-law and sisters in-law have been complaining about her lack of motherly treats.

They told me she doesn't even know how to take care of the baby. They cannot allow my child to be in her custody because she can't take care of the baby as a mother. She has fought her mother for asking her to leave her house to join her husband. Every member of her family has been asking her what the problem is. She keeps telling them to come and marry me that it's over between us.

I haven't told any of my family members or my friends of what is going on in my marriage. I am a kind of person that do not like involving a third party in my new marriage of lest than two years.

Her family has never supported her actions. Her mom and her siblings have been asking me to come take my wife and baby. But, my wife is not ready to join me. It has been a serious issues in her family house each time they push her to go meet her husband.

Her family has ask me to come with some soldiers or the police to come carry my baby and leave her since she claims she is no longer interested in any marriage. I have been trying my best to make sure my wife never lacked anything during her pregnancy and even after delivery.

My in-laws have been very supportive and good to me. I know they have never and will not support her for her wrong actions and behaviors. My challenge is, my baby is just 5 months and I don't want to take the baby to my parents because of the questions people around will be asking. I don't want to be seen as someone who is separated from his wife. I hate divorce with passion. My wife does not have any concrete reason why she decides to stay off our marriage.

Her family is fully in support of my next actions of going to take my baby. Now, the question is this; is it advisable to keep the baby with me while I employ a nanny to raise the baby with me?

Please and please I need mature and sensible advise.

Cc: RoyalRoy

I want this thread to be moved to the right and appropriate section. Thank you!

I will suggest the following point for you

Forget about what people will say after all you once gossiped about people affairs so yours won't be different

Your wife may be having a challenge even before she git married to you ams the family is aware it did not just start after child bearing, so you just have to accept it that way as there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Unless she opens up, may be she belongs and having kids may be one of their rules and she has broken the rule, that's by the way

Leave that child with her family for now and find your bearing but the cost of looking after the child is having weight on her parents that's why they did prefer you come for the child

So, visit your family and seat them down to tell them everything, you can't be hiding such from them you are doing yourself

They will be glad to receive the child from them and that has solved 50% of your problems and no one is allowed to visit that child from anywhere without your presence or approval

Forget about getting a Nanny, she may milk you and you may end up sleeping with her and another child may be on the way

Before taking the child, write an agreement, that her parents supports you to keep the child in your custody because the mother has not been stable and not in the right frame to look after the child

As for your wife, just leave her, over time she will open up.
Let her be the way she has agreed to be with herself

Then you on your own on side, you have to be very careful, you don't know the next thing to happen

Prayer is the key to all problems

InsideLife2022:
I have been an active member on this forum for the past eight years. I just created this account to bring this issue to limelight. Good evening gentlemen and ladies. I got married in late 2020. God being merciful, we are blessed with a baby of 5 months. My wife has been giving me attitudes of recent. I have tried to find out what the problem has been, she is not saying anything tangible. I am being confused and depressed. I have been begging her to come back to join me after delivery. She keeps traumazing me emotionally. She just told me our marriage is over. She couldn't say what the problem is.

She has not been taking care of the baby. She was medically advised to stop breastfeeding our baby permanently. Is not that she breastfeeds our baby. My mother in-law and sisters in-law have been complaining about her lack of motherly treats.

They told me she doesn't even know how to take care of the baby. They cannot allow my child to be in her custody because she can't take care of the baby as a mother. She has fought her mother for asking her to leave her house to join her husband. Every member of her family has been asking her what the problem is. She keeps telling them to come and marry me that it's over between us.

I haven't told any of my family members or my friends of what is going on in my marriage. I am a kind of person that do not like involving a third party in my new marriage of lest than two years.

Her family has never supported her actions. Her mom and her siblings have been asking me to come take my wife and baby. But, my wife is not ready to join me. It has been a serious issues in her family house each time they push her to go meet her husband.

Her family has ask me to come with some soldiers or the police to come carry my baby and leave her since she claims she is no longer interested in any marriage. I have been trying my best to make sure my wife never lacked anything during her pregnancy and even after delivery.

My in-laws have been very supportive and good to me. I know they have never and will not support her for her wrong actions and behaviors. My challenge is, my baby is just 5 months and I don't want to take the baby to my parents because of the questions people around will be asking. I don't want to be seen as someone who is separated from his wife. I hate divorce with passion. My wife does not have any concrete reason why she decides to stay off our marriage.

Her family is fully in support of my next actions of going to take my baby. Now, the question is this; is it advisable to keep the baby with me while I employ a nanny to raise the baby with me?

Please and please I need mature and sensible advise.

Cc: RoyalRoy

I want this thread to be moved to the right and appropriate section. Thank you!

in a situation like this I think it will be wise and better to calm down,relax and passively watch the drama play out in your in-laws house,your in-laws are pressuring you to collect your wife,by fire by force,do they know something you don't?don't rush to take back that woman,watch and observe,I have seen a exactly something like this in my senior brothers house and it later turned out that the wife has mental problems which can be aggravated by pregnancy,watch carefully and listen to what is going on in your in-laws house,use your head not your emotions,God may be using his infinite goodness to spare you a lifetime of regret and anguish.

InsideLife2022:
I have been an active member on this forum for the past eight years. I just created this account to bring this issue to limelight. Good evening gentlemen and ladies. I got married in late 2020. God being merciful, we are blessed with a baby of 5 months. My wife has been giving me attitudes of recent. I have tried to find out what the problem has been, she is not saying anything tangible. I am being confused and depressed. I have been begging her to come back to join me after delivery. She keeps traumazing me emotionally. She just told me our marriage is over. She couldn't say what the problem is.

She has not been taking care of the baby. She was medically advised to stop breastfeeding our baby permanently. Is not that she breastfeeds our baby. My mother in-law and sisters in-law have been complaining about her lack of motherly treats.

They told me she doesn't even know how to take care of the baby. They cannot allow my child to be in her custody because she can't take care of the baby as a mother. She has fought her mother for asking her to leave her house to join her husband. Every member of her family has been asking her what the problem is. She keeps telling them to come and marry me that it's over between us.

I haven't told any of my family members or my friends of what is going on in my marriage. I am a kind of person that do not like involving a third party in my new marriage of lest than two years.

Her family has never supported her actions. Her mom and her siblings have been asking me to come take my wife and baby. But, my wife is not ready to join me. It has been a serious issues in her family house each time they push her to go meet her husband.

Her family has ask me to come with some soldiers or the police to come carry my baby and leave her since she claims she is no longer interested in any marriage. I have been trying my best to make sure my wife never lacked anything during her pregnancy and even after delivery.

My in-laws have been very supportive and good to me. I know they have never and will not support her for her wrong actions and behaviors. My challenge is, my baby is just 5 months and I don't want to take the baby to my parents because of the questions people around will be asking. I don't want to be seen as someone who is separated from his wife. I hate divorce with passion. My wife does not have any concrete reason why she decides to stay off our marriage.

Her family is fully in support of my next actions of going to take my baby. Now, the question is this; is it advisable to keep the baby with me while I employ a nanny to raise the baby with me?

Please and please I need mature and sensible advise.

Cc: RoyalRoy

I want this thread to be moved to the right and appropriate section. Thank you!

The problem is complicated given the fact that she is not saying anything at least to give you an idea of what the issue is. Therefore i will advise you play safe (life first). Involve your family members at this stage and take custody of your baby, then begin the process of seeking medical attention for her which may not be easy...she may react violently but there is no harm in trying. While taking all the mentioned steps, pls try and remain calm under any circumstance, don't rush things, don't conclude blindly, remain calm, time will reveal the real culprit. Don't forget that you are dealing with a complicated gender. God bless

Your wife may be suffering from postnatal depression.
This happens. In Nigeria when situations like this occur, we only think one way.

I don’t know if we have the expertise in Nigeria and if your wife will even agree to it but I would suggest to seek medical help first before you take any major decision.

InsideLife2022:
I have been an active member on this forum for the past eight years. I just created this account to bring this issue to limelight. Good evening gentlemen and ladies. I got married in late 2020. God being merciful, we are blessed with a baby of 5 months. My wife has been giving me attitudes of recent. I have tried to find out what the problem has been, she is not saying anything tangible. I am being confused and depressed. I have been begging her to come back to join me after delivery. She keeps traumazing me emotionally. She just told me our marriage is over. She couldn't say what the problem is.

She has not been taking care of the baby. She was medically advised to stop breastfeeding our baby permanently. Is not that she breastfeeds our baby. My mother in-law and sisters in-law have been complaining about her lack of motherly treats.

They told me she doesn't even know how to take care of the baby. They cannot allow my child to be in her custody because she can't take care of the baby as a mother. She has fought her mother for asking her to leave her house to join her husband. Every member of her family has been asking her what the problem is. She keeps telling them to come and marry me that it's over between us.

I haven't told any of my family members or my friends of what is going on in my marriage. I am a kind of person that do not like involving a third party in my new marriage of lest than two years.

Her family has never supported her actions. Her mom and her siblings have been asking me to come take my wife and baby. But, my wife is not ready to join me. It has been a serious issues in her family house each time they push her to go meet her husband.

Her family has ask me to come with some soldiers or the police to come carry my baby and leave her since she claims she is no longer interested in any marriage. I have been trying my best to make sure my wife never lacked anything during her pregnancy and even after delivery.

My in-laws have been very supportive and good to me. I know they have never and will not support her for her wrong actions and behaviors. My challenge is, my baby is just 5 months and I don't want to take the baby to my parents because of the questions people around will be asking. I don't want to be seen as someone who is separated from his wife. I hate divorce with passion. My wife does not have any concrete reason why she decides to stay off our marriage.

Her family is fully in support of my next actions of going to take my baby. Now, the question is this; is it advisable to keep the baby with me while I employ a nanny to raise the baby with me?

Please and please I need mature and sensible advise.

Cc: RoyalRoy

I want this thread to be moved to the right and appropriate section. Thank you!

somebody somewhere don promise your wife heaven and Earth during her pregnancy period and your wife already feel like the pregnancy is the only thing holding her down to go and be with her Messiah
Who know maybe shes not even faithful to you all this while

She don follow leg over you just watch out, your concern should be welfare of the baby

She is not interested let her go no matter how tough it will be. If u a really nice u will find someone who loves u. There is no offence in divorce if u are with d wrong partner. As a matter of fact, divorce is recommended

On the issue of ur FIve yr old baby, don't take the baby if u will not be handing him/ she to ur parents. You can't raise a five months old baby and go about ur normal hustle. Trust me, u may never find a reliable nanny in this wicked world.

My opinion is that she is mentally sounds. She does not love u. A person that loves u finds pleasure in ur company and communication and lastly be sincere with urself. Before marriage and after marriage, did u people kiss passionately and emotionally or is was she the kind that claims she does not love kissing

i think you should forget whatever anger you feel and understand that you might be the only one to help her go through this , you need Patience even when situations might seem to intentionally aim to trigger you , just keep your calm , you lose the moment you lose your cool ( while trying to help her )

Kobojunkie:
1. Since you aren't able to tangibly communicate your wife's qualms to us, my guess is there exists a big communication barrier between you two... someone hasn't been listening to the other, or taking seriously what the other has been saying, and my guess is you are it in this particular situation.

2. You say her family supports your taking the baby but do you have your wife's permission to have the child or are you under the delusion that it is her family to decide who keeps the child?

3. Try to engage the aid of a professional marriage counselor if you are serious about wanting to keep your marriage. It might work best if you both get an unfamiliar face between you to help mediate and at least help you understand the core issue between you two.

If there are underlying medical issues, then you ought to be by her side in it. If not, then maybe you can discuss that too when you both seek help from your marriage counselor.

Are you alright? If your mother tell someone you are not capable believe you are not . For the fact her parents support a stranger over their own blood tells alot

In life everyone can't be against you...if all fingers points at you just check your self well something is wrong with you.

The truth of the matter in this story is that the girl is having an affair with someone else and her parents already tried to stop her and it's not working .

That's why they side the man even to the point of asking him to bring police to take his child .

GboyegaD:


Before you jump into conclusions, why not ask the OP if he modified his post?

I went back now and realized more details have been added to the story. It will do you good to seek clarifications than just throwing tantrums.

am sorry

God don butter your bread
na to go do Thanksgiving for church

this is anoda angu, the kid may not be yours. She might've had doubts during pregnancy and the birth maybe just confirmed it and she is now feeling guilt and confusion.

I am most likely wrong, but I'm just looking at it from a different angle

[quote author=after4 post=113179057]she is in love with someone else!
no kill yourself over her


Gbam!

This one too is a mother/woman that would be celebrated during mother's day and women's day.

Just pitty the innocent child cought up in all of these

Was she behaving like this before or during the pregnancy if no she might be going through post partum depression.Visit her in her parents house and have a one on one discussion,try as much as possible to pay attention to what she says you might be able to deduce something from it.

She is undergoing post partum depression or post partum anxiety! This happen to women who just put to birth!!! This is the time to show her care and love! Shower her with gift! When other criticiast her encourage her love her! This is the time to proof your love for her!

InsideLife2022:
I have been an active member on this forum for the past eight years. I just created this account to bring this issue to limelight. Good evening gentlemen and ladies. I got married in late 2020. God being merciful, we are blessed with a baby of 5 months. My wife has been giving me attitudes of recent. I have tried to find out what the problem has been, she is not saying anything tangible. I am being confused and depressed. I have been begging her to come back to join me after delivery. She keeps traumazing me emotionally. She just told me our marriage is over. She couldn't say what the problem is.

She has not been taking care of the baby. She was medically advised to stop breastfeeding our baby permanently. Is not that she breastfeeds our baby. My mother in-law and sisters in-law have been complaining about her lack of motherly treats.

They told me she doesn't even know how to take care of the baby. They cannot allow my child to be in her custody because she can't take care of the baby as a mother. She has fought her mother for asking her to leave her house to join her husband. Every member of her family has been asking her what the problem is. She keeps telling them to come and marry me that it's over between us.

I haven't told any of my family members or my friends of what is going on in my marriage. I am a kind of person that do not like involving a third party in my new marriage of lest than two years.

Her family has never supported her actions. Her mom and her siblings have been asking me to come take my wife and baby. But, my wife is not ready to join me. It has been a serious issues in her family house each time they push her to go meet her husband.

Her family has ask me to come with some soldiers or the police to come carry my baby and leave her since she claims she is no longer interested in any marriage. I have been trying my best to make sure my wife never lacked anything during her pregnancy and even after delivery.

My in-laws have been very supportive and good to me. I know they have never and will not support her for her wrong actions and behaviors. My challenge is, my baby is just 5 months and I don't want to take the baby to my parents because of the questions people around will be asking. I don't want to be seen as someone who is separated from his wife. I hate divorce with passion. My wife does not have any concrete reason why she decides to stay off our marriage.

Her family is fully in support of my next actions of going to take my baby. Now, the question is this; is it advisable to keep the baby with me while I employ a nanny to raise the baby with me?

Please and please I need mature and sensible advise.

Cc: RoyalRoy

I want this thread to be moved to the right and appropriate section. Thank you!

Oga except you are hiding something, your wife is stylishly telling you that the child is not yours!!!!!

Your wife is suffering from post partum depression which is already manifesting as established affective disorder.
This should have been picked up earlier during the postpartum blues phase. Now she may need to be on anti depressant.
Take her back to your gynae doctor and let her be referred to the mental health unit.

1. Could be a simple case of post something something; can't remember the rubbish name. It's a kind of psychological depression after childbirth. The severity varies from one woman to another.

2. Could be a case of personal guilt on her side; she can't open up so she's covering up.

Whichever it is, see a certified marriage counselor. Not church or shrine o! You can get free access to a counselor if you report her to Lagos State sexual domestic violence response team at Alausa. (I hail Lagos State on this).

If you are Christians, see your church after this so they will be in the know and offer you spiritual support.

If you are a Moslem or pagan, I don't know how they do theirs.

Whatever you do, remain yourself and be guided appropriately. Don't take any decisions yet until BOTH of you are counselled.

You're withholding some information.

Did u guys check ur GENOTYPE before gotten married?.. If not,she might have checked her own and discovered both of u are not matched

Las las village people have won the battle over her marriage or she is an ogbanje or you were not nice to her during pregnancy so she vowed to move on once her ordeal is over.

Ikem11:
1. Are you alright? If your mother tell someone you are not capable believe you are not . For the fact her parents support a stranger over their own blood tells alot

2. In life everyone can't be against you...if all fingers points at you just check your self well something is wrong with you.

3. The truth of the matter in this story is that the girl is having an affair with someone else and her parents already tried to stop her and it's not working .

4. That's why they side the man even to the point of asking him to bring police to take his child .

1. So if your mother deems you incapable as an adult, we should forego your rights to speak for yourself as an individual and take her word instead for it?

2. Tell that to those who came before you and had to fight against all odds in order to buy you the freedom you enjoy rattling off as you do now.

3. There is no truth but foolishness to this claim of yours this since you are not the woman in this case.

4. Whatever the situation, the OP has to proceed with caution or loose custody if he makes any rash decision on his part.

Sorry about what you are houngbthrough, looks like your wife is suffering from Post Partum depression, follow her with love and attention she will come around with time , goodluck dear