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My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. - Romance (5) - Nairaland

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When A Girl Is Dating A Guy Who Is Not Ready For Marriage / Is Your Genotype Compatible With The Person You're Considering Marrying? / Having One Last Fling Before Marrying Him - Why It's A Bad Idea (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. by MrsChima(f): 8:03am On Jul 27, 2011
Mynd_44:

^^^
You have to be married for atleast two years after which you are free but the government can/will monitor the marriage if they suspect foul play.
Your green card can also be revoked just like citizenship but the government don't bother doing that cos that takes a long process
Damn girl read your own laws this is getting boring

You need to read the immigration law as well. The person has to be LEGALLY in America for at least three years to five years. Most Immigration process takes longer because of the surge of requests for Visa/Green Cards.

Somebody said that marriage isn't the only way to get a green card and they are right. However marriage is the fastest way to get a green card.

Smootheb,

You can contact the embassy in Nigeria and request that they review the court registry however it would be tricky considering any other factors I prefer not to mention. lipsrsealed
Re: My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. by MrsChima(f): 8:06am On Jul 27, 2011
claremont:

^^^^
Well said my friend! The average American marriage lasts only between 5-10 years anyway, anything above that is a bonus. The OP is just plain wicked!

Oh I didn't know you work for the American Magistrate court. undecided
Re: My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. by Sike(m): 8:16am On Jul 27, 2011
Mynd_44:

^^^
You have to be married for atleast two years after which you are free but the government can/will monitor the marriage if they suspect foul play.
Your green card can also be revoked just like citizenship but the government don't bother doing that cos that takes a long process
Damn girl read your own laws this is getting boring
Re: My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. by jaybee3(m): 8:19am On Jul 27, 2011
Mrs.Chima:

Oh I didn't know you work for the American Magistrate court. undecided


Census Bureau: Number, Timing, and Duration of Marriages and Divorces: 2001 (Issued February 2005) reports that: Roughly 1 in 5 adults has ever
divorced; First marriages that end in divorce last about 8 years, on
average. http://www.census.gov/prod/2005pubs/p70-97.pdf

http://www.divorcereform.org/rates.html#anchor168283
Re: My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. by MrsChima(f): 8:37am On Jul 27, 2011
jay bee:

Census Bureau: Number, Timing, and Duration of Marriages and Divorces: 2001 (Issued February 2005) reports that: Roughly 1 in 5 adults has ever
divorced; First marriages that end in divorce last about 8 years, on
average. http://www.census.gov/prod/2005pubs/p70-97.pdf

http://www.divorcereform.org/rates.html#anchor168283

LMAO@website source. grin grin grin grin grin grin grin

In America, we have these following:

Naturalized Citizens
Native Citizens
Green Card holders (Permanent Residences)
Non-Immigrants
Refugees
Political or Social Asylum citizens

See my point? Exactly. So you work for the American Magistrate Court too? Damn yall everywhere. lipsrsealed
Re: My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. by jaybee3(m): 8:54am On Jul 27, 2011
^^^^
r u saying they don't count during census or census programme is highly restricted?
It's a national stats damn it grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Did u even click on the pdf doc?
Re: My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. by MrsChima(f): 9:45am On Jul 27, 2011
It take it you didn't comprehend my point. Allow me to reiterate. 

My point is this, America is a diverse country with PEOPLE who are not native Americans and census bureau does not specify WHICH group of people are divorced but rather records the amount of divorces. 

Census is recorded by the testimony of those who live in America and is not VALID.  Anyone can say that they have been married for x amount of years and divorce for x amount years WITHOUT proper verification.   

Again, are you employed with American Magistrate Court?  You can continue dodging the question if you must.  IT is EXPECTED. 

Are there a website source for the amount of divorces in Nigeria?   lipsrsealed
Re: My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. by Upright750: 10:13am On Jul 27, 2011
Hey. what is your business in your friend's marriage. i guess you just being jealous of them because i don't see how their affair concern you. You came here talking like a good friend, after telling her so many bad things about Nigerians or black man. those one has failed you . now you cam here looking for fake evidence to use against him, You anti Nigeria get off this forum and allow my 9ja bros to get his pally.( punch of jealousy. na the jealousy go kill you. ole.)
Re: My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. by Boboedom: 10:19am On Jul 27, 2011
1. Bearing a child with someone does not make her his wife
2. If a marriage is not contracted in court, it is not legal as far the law is concerned
3. People should stop saying negative things about their countries as the same type of ëvil"that exist here equally exist in the US and even worse
4. You cannot have two or more court marriages in Nigeria, the law recognises only one
5. @poster: Allow your friend to give it a try and even there is a mistake, she will learn from it
Re: My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. by shelylilly(f): 10:43am On Jul 27, 2011
claremont, i wonder why people will not keep their mouth shut and mind their own business,
i bet you 100 percent that lisasmiles who is fighting for her friend herself is a product of failled marriage,
and pls dont disorganised your friend, cos am very sure your friend will be confused at moment, the extent to which people can give advise has a limit, some advices might be og good and sometimes a failure,
why can u not leave your friend alone and let her think deep and decide, let your friend ask a concrete
evidence from this guy, even if it will entails travelling down together to Nigeria confirm few things by herself,
What on the long run the guy has a genuine love? having wife or married before doesnt affect nothing provided the guy formally divorced the lady, tell your friend to think twice so that she wouldnt be misled, cos she might as well regretting not marrying the guy at later part in life,
if you say this guy is liar or not good ,do you know the next man your friend might meet might even worst?
Re: My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. by claremont(m): 10:49am On Jul 27, 2011
shelylilly:

claremont, i wonder why people will not keep their mouth shut and mind their own business,
i bet you 100 percent that lisasmiles who is fighting for her friend herself is a product of failled marriage,
and pls dont disorganised your friend, cos am very sure your friend will be confused at moment, the extent to which people can give advise has a limit, some advices might be og good and sometimes a failure,
why can u not leave your friend alone and let her think deep and decide, let your friend ask a concrete
evidence from this guy, even if it will entails travelling down together to Nigeria confirm few things by herself,
What on the long run the guy has a genuine love? having wife or married before doesnt affect nothing provided the guy formally divorced the lady, tell your friend to think twice so that she wouldnt be misled, cos she might as well regretting not marrying the guy at later part in life,
if you say this guy is liar or not good ,do you know the next man your friend might meet might even worst?
Absolutely on the ball! The way the OP has shown herself to be, I wouldn't be surprised if she goes ahead to not only spoil this her friend's relationship with this man, but also that with the next man, and the next man, and the next man, and the next,  It's so sad really that a supposedly educated HUMAN BEING is behaving this way!
Re: My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. by shelylilly(f): 11:07am On Jul 27, 2011
its soo sad, seeing these white women thinking they the perfect ones, and the funniest thing
is that all these white ladies who are dating Nigeria men , majority of them already have a failled
marriages in their past relationship cos their men are the worst on this earth, but all the blames now on the head of the so called Nigeria men, though i agreed there are bad people among Nigeria men, but not all of them,
pls give your friend a space let her think on her own, but i think if she loves the man, it worths travelling down
together with him to clarify issues herself
Re: My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. by blank(f): 11:51am On Jul 27, 2011
This Lisafrowns sef. U have advised your friend and she has refused to take your advise, pls leave her to God and the man she wants to marry. You have plenty of time on your hands o. You should be looking for your own husband and A JOB to keep you from idleness.

If she finally agrees to marry the guy, i know you are the type that will carry immigration officers to the wedding to scatter the place. If she is happy while married to the guy, IT IS HER LIFE. MIND YOUR OWN.

You seem to have an illicit plan of your own.
Re: My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. by claremont(m): 12:00pm On Jul 27, 2011
^^^^
Abi oh, she just carry the thing put for head like say na she kill Jesus
Re: My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. by lisasmiles: 1:04pm On Jul 27, 2011
@Upright750 - For your 411 I have not said anything bad about my friends boyfriend. She came to me about the marriage story. I was just inquiring about the laws of Nigeria, since like you say I am not from Nigeria. I believe that I mention earlier about how I felt about him. I have no animousity against him and I am not jealous of anyone. I have no right to be jealous. I do not know where all of the posters are coming up with this jealousy act. I just wanted to find out if there could be any truth to his story. That's all. Since I am not from Nigeria what the heck is "PALLY". You make it sound like it is something negative.
Re: My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. by lisasmiles: 1:05pm On Jul 27, 2011
@Boboedom - Thanks I will.
Re: My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. by claremont(m): 1:07pm On Jul 27, 2011
^^^^
"Pally" is a Nigerian vernacular terminology for Passport.
Re: My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. by lisasmiles: 1:10pm On Jul 27, 2011
@shelylilly - First of all I have been married for well over 10 years. Second you all fail to realize that my friend told me about the marriage and I am just looking into the truth of it. I have not bash her boyfriend, I have not said anything negative to her about him. I am just trying to look out for her. He seems like a nice guy and I have no complaints except the one. he fail to reveal earlier on that he had marry his babies mom. Whether it was legal or not. That's all I am saying. Why was it such a big secret?
Re: My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. by lisasmiles: 1:15pm On Jul 27, 2011
@claremont - I will not spoil anything for her. I just came on this site just to ask about tradional Nigerian weddings and I gave some feedback on the situation at hand. Everyone is blowing things out of pocket. I am not white and she is not white. I am not trying to mess up her life. I just do not want her to be taken advantage of. I have not told her about any of this. Just trying to find out some things.
Re: My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. by lisasmiles: 1:22pm On Jul 27, 2011
@blank - I see why you have "blank" for your user name. Go back and read my earlier post. I have not told my friend anything, she told me about the pics. She revealed the website to me. I have not mention to her nothing that I am doing. I am checking things out for her. She just believes what he tells her. I have not advised her on anything. get your facts straight, before you go bashing someone. I said that I spoke to my frien that is an attorney to see if she did marry him and found out if he was married previously what would that do to his status. That is when my attorney said that their marriage would be null and void. I have not told her none of this. Period!!
Re: My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. by MrsChima(f): 2:02pm On Jul 27, 2011
Boboedom:

1. Bearing a child with someone does not make her his wife
2. If a marriage is not contracted in court, it is not legal as far the law is concerned
3. People should stop saying negative things about their countries as the same type of ëvil"that exist here equally exist in the US and even worse
4. You cannot have two or more court marriages in Nigeria, the law recognises only one
5. @poster: Allow your friend to give it a try and even there is a mistake, she will learn from it

So all of those POLYGAMY MARRIAGES IN NIGERIA is a fraud huh? So only the first wife is LEGALLY MARRIED and the rest of the wives are HOES?

You stated that if the marriage isn't recognized by the court it isn't legal. So you saying there are bunch of bastardized children and fornicators in Nigeria huh?
Re: My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. by MrsChima(f): 2:06pm On Jul 27, 2011
lisasmiles:

@blank - I see why you have "blank" for your user name. Go back and read my earlier post. I have not told my friend anything, she told me about the pics. She revealed the website to me. I have not mention to her nothing that I am doing. I am checking things out for her. She just believes what he tells her. I have not advised her on anything. get your facts straight, before you go bashing someone. I said that I spoke to my frien that is an attorney to see if she did marry him and found out if he was married previously what would that do to his status. That is when my attorney said that their marriage would be null and void. I have not told her none of this. Period!!


There is nothing wrong with checking things out and if you didn't tell your friend anything about what you are doing which even better.

You are looking out for friend as real friends does however let her live through it for life is the best tutor. She will know what type of man she shacked up with soon or later.

Just be there for her when she needs a shoulder to lean on rather to cry or laugh.
Re: My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. by shelylilly(f): 2:15pm On Jul 27, 2011
lisasmiles, as long as your friend truely love this guy, let her go ahead, and let her sit
the guy down, and tell him her fears, with the sense of sincerity, the guy might have a real and good
intent, pls dont judge anybody cos of the hearsays or the past, no one is perfect,
but if the guy really wants to marry her, let your friend give a go, even the world itself is a risk
nobody know what tommorrow might have in stock for them, but if you dont try and risk, you will never move forward
Re: My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. by CrazyChica: 3:22pm On Jul 27, 2011
been going thru the replies and am yet to see anybody address the issue of the naija wife with a child properly
i guess the part where the op said the man loves his son was conveniently ignored. So, the nign wife wld simply hand the child over to the man just because he LOVES THEIR son
the man is a fraudulent fellow. he should do the right thing by divorcing his first wife because he cant leave her encumbered with a child while he moves on. It is simply unfair
This is the 21st century, we should move on!
@lisasmiles, u are a great friend. thanks for looking out for ur friend jare.
Re: My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. by tlops(m): 3:23pm On Jul 27, 2011
Lisa, you have done well, I think you should be rewarded with a Nairalander for your effort, then you will know how difficult it is for your girlfriend to listen to you.

add a face to ur profile.

And in case you are also interested in "our" green card (or whatever it is) find a nairalander!!!
Re: My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. by shelylilly(f): 3:41pm On Jul 27, 2011
based on the information lisasmiles gave, it seems the guy opened up to her that he has kid
which is fair enough, he didnt hide it, but people do marry or get kid at early age in life due
to one reason or the other, but if the guy had already divorced formally or if he hasnt and he intends to
divorce legitimately, theres no prob stopping them going on with their life and relationship,
But at least the guy already got kid, and he cant forget his kid cos he want to marry a white lady, in as much
the white lady also has kid, they will only need to agree on a common term,
ask the guy to divorce legitimately and if he had already done it, dont think there cause for alarms,
But my advice to people is to stop painting their fellow human beings what they are not, people dont need to be judgemental based on culture, race, or past
Re: My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. by blank(f): 3:42pm On Jul 27, 2011
This Lisa bullshit, do you reason with your brain or your anus? IF you really wanted to find out about traditional marriages in Nigeria you could have asked about that without going ahead to paint the guy as a devil. That is why i believe you have something untoward in your mind.

You are the iidiot that brought your friend's business and pasted it all over the internet. I doubt you have a relationship cos u have too much time to poke your nose into your friend's business. My advise to you still stands, look for a job, arsewipe. Born again my left foot. You are definitely a devil pretending to be a lamb. You asked for advise and then you turn around to insult me. As for the user name insult, it is so dated. Abeg, keep your insults to yourself before you unleash the gates. Keep taking advantage of your friend. When you have finally slept with her husband that is when you will be satisfied. I know your type. Ugly murrafuka.
Re: My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. by CrazyChica: 3:55pm On Jul 27, 2011
blank:

This Lisa bullshit, do you reason with your brain or your anus? IF you really wanted to find out about traditional marriages in Nigeria you could have asked about that without going ahead to paint the guy as a devil. That is why i believe you have something untoward in your mind.

You are the iidiot that brought your friend's business and pasted it all over the internet. I doubt you have a relationship cos u have too much time to poke your nose into your friend's business. My advise to you still stands, look for a job, arsewipe. Born again my left foot. You are definitely a devil pretending to be a lamb. You asked for advise and then you turn around to insult me. As for the user name insult, it is so dated. Abeg, keep your insults to yourself before you unleash the gates. Keep taking advantage of your friend. When you have finally slept with her husband that is when you will be satisfied. I know your type. Ugly murrafuka.

jeez!take a chill girl. no need to press control p and no need for all the name calling. drop ur 2cents and let things be. ur post was really extreme!
Re: My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. by blank(f): 4:03pm On Jul 27, 2011
CrazyChica:

jeez!take a chill girl. no need to press control p and no need for all the name calling. drop your 2cents and let things be. your post was really extreme!

Sorry about that but she really annoyed me. I gave advise and cos the truth was a bitter pill for a her to swallow she decided to start spewing her black thrash in my direction. Will modify it later but she is so annoying.
Re: My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. by corona46(f): 4:59pm On Jul 27, 2011
@poster

the traditional marriage in Nigeria is not legal! It is like you will go only to the Church and marry there. Here in Europe you have to go the the government to get legally married. Only church marriage is NOT valid at all.

In case you are afraid he is looking only for a Green Card I tell you something. The Nigerians do not have the monopole on it!For example: Many American men ask Germans to marry them to stay here, cause life here is much easier than in the States.

I live in an area where many American soldiers do their overseas duty. Guess what they are doing here, They cheat on their wifes as much as they could even their wife is also here or not. They impregnate them and after a while they disappear.

So all Americans are bad?? Not at all.
Re: My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. by lisasmiles: 6:17pm On Jul 27, 2011
@blank - God Bless You Too.
Re: My Friend Is Dating A Man From Nigeria And Considering Marrying Him. by lisasmiles: 6:26pm On Jul 27, 2011
@blank - I did not bash you. I said the comment about your name, because evidently you have not fully read my post. I did not bash the guy. In fact I said that truly believe that they really loved each other. I gave the background of the story, so people could understand why I was asking about traditional Nigerian weddings. Now if that is the way you feel about a person you have never met I would hate to see someone you have met. You bashed me from the beginning. I know that friends do things to other friends, but I am not like that. I can not control what you put on this forum, but I ask that you please do not bash me in that way, just for asking a question. Now if I offended you in what I said in my earlier post I do apologize, because that was not my intent. Again God Bless You.

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