am getting married before the end of the month.just not long ago,my company posted me to katsina state.now my wife,an NCE holder works in lagos.do you think it would be wise to take her with me?.though is an early marriage.i dnt really see any job be it teaching or others that she can be doing here in katsina.i feel like keeping her in lagos(though additional expences plus my frequennt travel and risk involve).
What do you think i should do?

go with her please or you suspend your wedding

go with her , what use is you going to katsina without her, body no be firewood oga.

my fear is that i wont want her to be idle.the load will be too much on me.cant figure out any viable business in katsina at all. And i dont wish to live in katsina for long. What if i get another job.

keleto:

my fear is that i wont want her to be idle.the load will be too much on me.cant figure out any viable business in katsina at all. And i dont wish to live in katsina for long. What if i get another job.

Then Lagos is better for her. You want Katsina only for the short term. Good luck

@poster
whatever happens, you need to seat down with your spouse and, BOTH OF YOU, need to come up with a solution. how can you come here and ask us for a solution while you should be talking to her?!
marriage is about 2 people making decisions and standing by them, not the way around. . . . . . . . . so PLEASE, talk to you future spouse and let her have a say in her future!!!!!

Can't you get away from this transfer?

MrBrownjay, he might just want to sample outsiders opinions before discussing with her. Nothing wrong in getting "unbiased" opinions before his discussion. Who knows, he may get an angle to the whole dilemma that he would otherwise not have thought of. Just relax.

@ OP, Why not keep her in Lagos until u stabilize in Katsina before bringing her. While your there, you may see business opportunities or schools for her. Just don't let the separation be a long one.

blank:

MrBrownjay, he might just want to sample outsiders opinions before discussing with her. Nothing wrong in getting "unbiased" opinions before his discussion. Who knows, he may get an angle to the whole dilemma that he would otherwise not have thought of. Just relax.

dont you think the first question anyone should have asked is : what does your wife think about this?!

i'd think, asking advices to strangers is what you would do when you and your spouse can't come up with a solution. she should be the FIRST ONE he should talk to and the ONLY ONE he should listen to.

u are right. Just that we are both confused.she can stay either of the two places.
Buth if you were in my position,what would you have done?

^^ i would have asked HER what she wants to do.
if she says that she doesnt mind either way then I would chose whatever is best (in my opinion).
you gotta look at everything: finances, marriage, employment and make a sound decision together.

since you are going to be away from each other then I wouldnt advise on getting married YET and would postpone the marriage, until you guys live and are together in the same city. . . . . . . . but that's because i dont believe one bit in LDR!

my question to you is: if plans were already made for marriage when you were being asked to be transfered in Katsina then A) why didnt you ask NOT to be transfered due to your coming marriage or B) changed marriage plans?!

//

Go with her that's if she wants to. I would not advise you to be in along distance relationship.

Take her with you or stay in las-gidi with her.

really confussed

Take her with you.
Might not pay much but she would definately be able to get a teaching job there.
Best of luck.