I help my BF out financially if I sense he is broke or needs help financially  without him asking that's what love is all about being able to genuinely sense when your partner is in trouble and coming to their help without them asking. Perhaps the guy has been taken for a ride before hence he is wary of spending his money . I have been down that road before and it has a way of making you tighten your purse and hold back. I think the reason why most people have problems in relationships is we are not dating our friends . If your best friend had financial issues I am sure most of us would help so why then can't we help someone that we claim to love . I help my guy he helps me out and in my honest opinion that's the way a relationship should be. Symbiotic not parasitic.

neva knew nigeria guys cud b dis wicked!!!!!grrrhhhhh,feel lyk killing 'em all.greedy morons.u sef hw go date warri boy den xpct sey mek him dey blind ur eyes wif gifts.cum mek we roll i go spoil u wif gifts,

@ogzille,

yes, he works, and no, he has never given me money, I didnt need any until now

All the guys claiming that when a girl sleeps with a man is an ashawo, i wonder what i will call the men that sleep with the so-called ''ashawos'', you are more of the ashawo than the women themselves. Common now, so for the guys who say or encourage men not to spend money on their women, e dey pain you, because you do not have that money to spend, if you do, you would be a cheerful giver.

Why are you angry at the women,?? is it not the same men that made naija the way it is now, you men spoilt Nigeria, and you are here making unnecessary mouth and looking for a woman that will carry your responsiblities instead. In that same country, some women have to sleep with their boss to get a job or promotion, lecturers would want to sleep with their students to pass them just because they lust after the poor student, our country is lead by men, politicians who gallivant about with young girls, spending lavishly on them, what do expect?? this is the nigeria you men have created so DEAL WITH IT. if you cannot find a nigerian wife, good for you!!! go and marry from other countries that do not spend a cent on their women.

but na wa o, wetin do all these gals dem papa, dem mama, shuo

Many of you were used, taken advantaged, and fed up.

This isn't Oprah Show.

All the guys claiming that when a girl sleeps with a man is an ashawo, i wonder what i will call the men that sleep with the so-called ''ashawos'', you are more of the ashawo than the women themselves.

They (gurls) are Ashewo because they demand for money in exchange for 5EX.
We (guys) are just buyers cos we got the purchasing power (MONEY)[/color][color=#990000]

Why are you angry at the women,?? is it not the same men that made naija the way it is now, you men spoilt Nigeria, and you are here making unnecessary mouth and looking for a woman that will carry your responsiblities instead. In that same country, some women have to sleep with their boss to get a job or promotion, lecturers would want to sleep with their students to pass them just because they lust after the poor student

That's because you gurls believe in using what you have to get what you want, so u have to be treated as such. As a female student, instead of reading to pass your exams, you spent most of your time making up and going for parties and u expect the lecturer to give out marks to u without getting anything in return

Run! Toto Bandit have awaken!

No M3, he ain't anywhere near poor

koolkamzzy:

They (gurls) are Ashewo because they demand for money in exchange for 5EX.
We (guys) are just buyers cos we got the purchasing power (MONEY)[/color][color=#990000]

That's because you gurls believe in using what you have to get what you want, so u have to be treated as such. As a female student, instead of reading to pass your exams, you spent most of your time making up and going for parties and u expect the lecturer to give out marks to u without getting anything in return

then both of you are in a transaction, the buyer and the seller,  it makes the men who patronize the seller as the same ashawo. a decent man, will never go to a hooker talkmore of paying her to sleep with her.

secondly, that is a big lie u just typed about girls not reading, how about those that deliberately fail the students to get her attention, especially when she is not noticed. In my class, there was this very very pretty lady who was my friend, that girl na GBONO!!! AS IN VERY INTELLIGENT, so this lecturer wanted to know who this very intelligent chic was, he called out her matric number in class and she answered with all happiness and joy, the guy saw how beautiful she was, and that was it, that was the beginning of her failures, only because she refused his advances, and that is just one out of many, though there are some ladies, lazy ones and olodos' that think they can use what they have, since it does not have value, to get what they want,( even more valuueless.)

lovedgal:

No M3, he ain't anywhere near poor

OP May be you no dey gree to regulate KPOMO

ronkebp:

secondly, that is a big lie u just typed about girls not reading, how about those that deliberately fail the students to get her attention, especially when she is not noticed. In my class, there was this very very pretty lady who was my friend, that girl na GBONO!!! AS IN VERY INTELLIGENT, so this lecturer wanted to know who this very intelligent chic was, he called out her matric number in class and she answered with all happiness and joy, the guy saw how beautiful she was, and that was it, that was the beginning of her failures, only because she refused his advances, and that is just one out of many, though there are some ladies, lazy ones and olodos' that think they can use what they have, since it does not have value, to get what they want,( even more valuueless.).

The above is just like 1%, but 99% of the time its gurls that approch their lecturers for mark cos they beleive they got what it takes

1% is even too much

^^^^^ that is a fat lie, which 1%, the only people i know harrass lectures for marks are the cultist (both male and female cultist).

Nigerian girls are so much carried away by their legs ability - they think it as easy as spreading them wide for any guy to get money in return. They forget that there are consequences which could follow, like unwanted pregnancy, abortion,STDs, etc. Ladies learn to use your heads and stop being used by sugar daddies because of money. It is annoying to say the least!

^^^^^ whatever, , who gives them the stds' no be man!!!!

woah i can see that this thread is STILL generating some controversy, lol!!!!

@ sista Shy One
FIRST of all pls accept my apologies if you view my words as a direct insult "to you". as many people now know on NL, i never sugar coat shiit and therefore i have to call a spade A SPADE. i was just pointing out how your actions are SIMILAR to that of an ashewo.

A) men who provide for their loved ones do so at THEIR OWN WILL. if they are "forced" to do so before they can date this damsel then that is NOT a r/ship but a TRICK (aka john, aka maga etc)

B) what you "expect" from your r/ship is exactly the same thing that ashewos expect from their customers.
they only provide their services/companionship, if they will get paid!

C) i will disregard your comment on red panties as i have absolutely NO IDEA what you are talking about. but hey, if in any doubt about me, you can simply ask me, i will gladly tell you, lol!
late 40s: bwaaaah! pls dont make me much more older than i am, even though my words make you think i am.
18yr old white girl: yes please!!!! as well as black girls, latinos, Asians. i dont discriminate when it comes to women and i sure will NEVER pay to be in a R/SHIP. are you saying that men should turn down young coochie?! bwaaaah! so long as a girl is an adult and i am attracted to her, i will never turn her down! why should i?!

D) are you saying that a man who WORK for his damn money, and is NOT afraid to let people know what time it is, should automatically be a man who has been hurt by women?
here is a clue: i have never been afraid of doing what I BELIEVE is right for me. i will never pretend to be someone i am not. i know the value of money, many women like yourself surely dont. if you expect me to throw money around then you are mistaking me for someone else.
i repeat: i will gladly spend IF I WANT TO but i will NOT spend my money recklessly. if someone is hungry and i am not, then there is no reason why i should foot their bill(unless i decide that i want to do so).
expecting me to pay for everyone of my gf's meal is not only stoopid but also a sure way to fail in life!

E) yes, you best believe that the number ONE person in my life is ME!!!!! if you expect your bf to put you higher than his own damn self, in HIS life, then thats all on you. some men still have a BRAIN.
this is MY money, I worked for it, and will spend it the way I see best.
here are clues for you:
- some men are quick to "throw money" around yet dont even own a damn house!
- some men are quick to buy BB/Gucci bag and Louboutin shoes yet still ride okadas!
- some desperate men are happy to portray who they are not, just for some fake attention from gal who dont give a damn about them. go figure!

F) i sure do LOVE pucci, you are damn right about that!!!!! where you are wrong is that: i have had my neck deep into it since my teenage years. i know how to handle my way around coochie and i sure do know how to let a woman know when she is OUT OF HER DAMN MIND!!!!!
like i always say: any woman who thinks that she can rule the world with her coochie is a damn fool because, look around you, it's FREELY available EVERYWHERE. men only have to open their mouth, et voila!!!!
women like you want men to believe that handing over your coochie is a favor to us and therefore we should be glad and PAY for the privilege. please!!!!!!!!!

G) i am an open minded person, if a single friend of mine is looking for someone to show her a good time in London then i will gladly hook a brotha up. as i said, pucci comes a dime a dozen and that NLer has been a happier man thanks to MBJ.

H) are you claiming that any man who fukc white women is an ashewo?! come on sista!!!!
here is a clue: A MOUTH, that is all what it takes to get pucci in this world, the right WORDS!!!!!

I) you have yet to show us how your actions are any different than any ashi

J) again, a husband and someone dating is 2 different things. what you expect from your bf is what ashi expect from their customers.

K) what you are bringing to the table is not only cheap but worse than what the ashis are claiming.

L) any r/ship where a woman expect to be paid before she act right is a GOLDIGGING R/SHIP. however you want to look at it is all on you!
here is the clue: your only reason for staying in that r/ship is MONEY, so as all goldiggers or pay as you go gfs (aka ashis)!

to each their own indeed!

^^^^

Ok - I throw in the towel - can I please have some peace now.

Now I just agree with you - ok? 

Let's make peace - you are a good person and so am I

I have such a long list of things to do for the few weeks - take pity and mercy and let's just stop

can we be friends - you and I are too intelligent and full of ourselves to be enemies

you have worn me down

I will be your Ashewo or whatever it is that you want to call me today - ok?

Erm where s dis OP
hp u v askd him?

@Shy One
no, why do you want to give up on me now? i just got here. . . . . . . i got more in store for you.
we are having a discussion here, and hopefully you can learn a thing or two about men who think like i do (in case someday you have the chance/honor to date someone like me. lol)

@poster
thinking that men should provide for every damsel that they are dating simply because they are MEN is not only foolish but also a scam that many have fallen under. any man should DECIDE if they want to pay for something or not, it should be THEIR choices not a requirement in dating.
of course, hungry begging women like yourself would rather we never use our brains! and simply "drop" the dough, right?! nonsense!!!

today is the rent, tomorrow is school fees, then the next month is other bills etc. you bf is a SMART man who knows that the minute he starts paying for YOUR shiit then you will use him as an atm machine!

any SMART man should NEVER pay and instead should carefully study how his gf is going to sort herself out of this mess (because we all know that you wont always be there or have what she needs).
if begging on her damn knees is the only thing that "gf" has in mind then she should be QUICKLY dropped as we all know what that entails!

I thank God everyday that I did not fall for the rapacious, destructive, locust relative women that are so numerous in naija these days.

A man should pay a woman because he can't breastfeed or carry a baby in his belly. He should pay her because he isn't wearing red panties and dancing striptease.

@ ronke

Even if men spoiled the world, must women help out in completely destroying it?

Poverty is the main cause sha - if you don't have money, use what you have to get what you want.

^^ Abi ooo

You have to pay her for breastfeeding her own child,
Pay her for her menstrual cramps,
Pay her for sleeping with the man she claims she loves,
Pay her for cooking for her family,
Pay her for waking up in the morning

I feel these claims are even insults on women already and cheapening everything you do as a woman.

Is there anything that you do that you consider priceless?

13 pages of argument. MBJ, SHY-ONE, DYT, all4naija, ronkebp,the OP. etc
I will say both sexes will never agree on which is the best route to take when it comes to issues of Romance and Finance. Both are very emotional issues.

@OP, I feel you when you say he should be able to sense when you are in need/difficulty and try to offer to help (even if you reject). That is all well and good. Some peeps disagrees with that assertion. Let me ask you, "do you also sense it when he needs some sexual healing, without him asking" (I'm only assuming that your relationship has gotten to the stage where both of you have sex, and in Naija most of the time it is the guy that demands for s.ex) . Please am not trying to insult you.

Why I asked the above is that I have been in situation where like your boyfriend, one of my girls will expect me to render assistance by dancing around the issue with words. While if I need s.ex from her I will flatter and cajole before she will finally give in (sometimes). But she will automatically expect me to be a magician when it comes to rendering her assistance.
I used s.ex as an example, because I can't imagine any other thing I will be asking a girl friend to do for me. (I don't beg them money, they hardly cook for me, neither do they wash for me).

@ OP, please go and ask that guy (nicely) to help you. If he refuses, you will know that you have tried at least. Like someone said earlier, if you are free to give him your body (when you are not surnamed "Donatus" ), you should also feel free to ask him for help. It is tit-for-tat.

A spade is a spade is a spade.

Abali1 get sense small
noddin head

MRbrownJAY:

@Shy One
no, why do you want to give up on me now? i just got here. . . . . . . i got more in store for you.
we are having a discussion here, and hopefully you can learn a thing or two about men who think like i do (in case someday you have the chance/honor to date someone like me. lol)

@poster
thinking that men should provide for every damsel that they are dating simply because they are MEN is not only foolish but also a scam that many have fallen under. any man should DECIDE if they want to pay for something or not, it should be THEIR choices not a requirement in dating.
of course, hungry begging women like yourself would rather we never use our brains! and simply "drop" the dough, right?! nonsense!!!

today is the rent, tomorrow is school fees, then the next month is other bills etc. you bf is a SMART man who knows that the minute he starts paying for YOUR shiit then you will use him as an atm machine!

any SMART man should NEVER pay and instead should carefully study how his gf is going to sort herself out of this mess (because we all know that you wont always be there or have what she needs).
if begging on her damn knees is the only thing that "gf" has in mind then she should be QUICKLY dropped as we all know what that entails!

You are hard man, but right to the point, I salute you

MBJ,

I AM NOT THAT TYPE OF GIRLWHO WOULD EVEN LET HIM CONTINUE just because he helps once and when I really need the help,  I have a conscience and will not use my man as an atm machine.

@DYT and r321,
I asked him and he changed the subject smoothly so I rest my case

Thank God that you have asked him. Babe if you really love him and wish to continue, you should make up your mind to do your own things and foot your own bill. It doesn't make you less of a woman (and it sure does not make him less of a man).
Just define what you want in life, relationship, etc. In essence KNOW THY SELF.

@ MBJ

You just love to argue - I do not agree with you.  I'm not running from you (you just got here, lololol)

I just have some work projects that hit me hard as of this morning and they won't take their hands off me until sometime next week.

So it comes a time when a girl must "pick her battles"

An online discussion of differing points of view - falls low on the totem pol for Shy-One right now.

@ Debosky and Dayo - my fall from grace is far from funny

@ Tashanja - I will remember your little salute as well my NL friend

All of you know that MBJ is totally wrong here - he is taking great delight in disrespecting us as women.

@ MBJ - there are times when I adore your thought process and few times you are horrible - and this is one of them.

And to add to that - you grinning pack of neanderthals

Shy-One's guy is going to assist in her video as she is going to assist him in his video.  And if that makes me an Ashewo - then I accept that title with great honor.

lovedgal:

MBJ,

I AM NOT THAT TYPE OF GIRLWHO WOULD EVEN LET HIM CONTINUE just because he helps once and when I really need the help,  I have a conscience and will not use my man as an atm machine.

@DYT and r321,
I asked him and he changed the subject smoothly so I rest my case

Now that you have asked him and he indirectly confirmed your allegations. What are your next course of actions?

Are YOU okay with him being stingy?