Shy-One:

@ Dayo

First of all - nobody is saying to trade puci for money - alot of the guys are taking it to that level.

If you are my man - your money better be coming my way or I move on - point blank period

Let's not fool ourselves here - if you are my man, you ARE NOT MY FRIEND who only receives a conversation and a smile - a thought for the day from my lips to his ears.

As my man - I have certain duties I will provide to you and as my man you have certain duties you provide to me.  It is that simple - you get more from me than a conversation and a smile.

What is hard for you to understand about that very simple and basic fact that shouldn't on any level escape either one of us.  That is difference between a male friend and a male who is your boyfriend, soon to be fiance, fiance, soon to be husband and husband.

My allowing you to lay claim to me in front of the world and all who are in it - just secured your position of my giving you my loyalty, my time, my talents - become yours on different levels.  In turn your presence in my life also becomes a joy and a benefit to me - part of your presence entails the wallet in your pocket.

Point, blank period.

You also lay claim to his loyalty, his time and his talents so why cant you supply the money in the relationship since you are a human as well with equal ability to make money as he can

You can make your own money, why do you need his?

How come you are not mentioning that you also have equal right to step in for him and help out financially?

Shy-One:

This is NOT COMPLETELY TRUE at all.

I think that in underdeveloped countries the NEEDS ARE MUCH GREATER - because it isn't just about recharge cards and BB's - its about water,electricity, food, healthcare, etc.  So the girls are taking care of their basic needs and want the cosmetic from the guys.

Whereas in developed countries all of the basics are met by the country's infrastructure custodians such as Commissions set up to take care of providing the basic needs and social service agencies that care for those needs for the poverty stricken residents who then can take their own money and buy their own cosmetics such as cell phones and recharge cards out of their own pockets and don't need their boyfriends to provide those items for them.

However - the same golddiggers are here in the U.S. and our golddiggers over here want more than your golddiggers over there - our golddiggers want designer clothes, designer purses, gold, diamonds, lump sums of money, homes, cars which cost wayyyyy more than recharge cards and BlackBerry phones.

Come on over here and you will see those women on every corner and even more so now that there is a recession and alot of them are out of work.  Don't be so quick to knock Nigerian women whose needs ARE FAR BELOW the needs of women in the U.S. who are quick to abuse the men over here as well but at the tune of much more money and then kick them to the curb and divorce them and take the money and run.  That is why alot of men go back home to get wives from over seas.

You need to start uplifting your women instead of putting them down.  I believe that overall the jobs in the U.S. pay more than the jobs in Nigeria so the men make less in that area unless they work for an oil company - so the men complain more because it is harder to bring larger salaries to afford the BB or the constant requests for money.  A vicious cycle it seems to be.

I weep for everyone caught up in the BS.

Your comment explains it all! First you said it due to needs for basic necessities yet same girls go to developed countries and do the worse. I am not trying to put my people down but trying to tell the truth the way it is. This asking for money is just in typical Nigerian girls blood, it is like a habit.

I once dated a Nigerian girl whose father's rich yet she exhibited this habit of asking for money, I quit the relationship that is a sense of not loving me for who I am. Now I am dating a blond who lovse me for who I am not for my pocket. Jeez!

Shy-One:

@ Dayo

First of all - nobody is saying to trade puci for money - alot of the guys are taking it to that level.

If you are my man - your money better be coming my way or I move on - point blank period

Let's not fool ourselves here - if you are my man, you ARE NOT MY FRIEND who only receives a conversation and a smile - a thought for the day from my lips to his ears.

As my man - I have certain duties I will provide to you and as my man you have certain duties you provide to me.  It is that simple - you get more from me than a conversation and a smile.

What is hard for you to understand about that very simple and basic fact that shouldn't on any level escape either one of us.  That is difference between a male friend and a male who is your boyfriend, soon to be fiance, fiance, soon to be husband and husband.

My allowing you to lay claim to me in front of the world and all who are in it - just secured your position of my giving you my loyalty, my time, my talents - become yours on different levels.  In turn your presence in my life also becomes a joy and a benefit to me - part of your presence entails the wallet in your pocket.

Point, blank period.

that is what am talking about babe!! , and they will begin to cry if you dump their sorry azzes,

So because he is dating you his pay check should now be shared between him and you abi?
If you are struggling pls ask your father for money.

Shy-One:

@ Dayo

First of all - nobody is saying to trade puci for money - alot of the guys are taking it to that level.

If you are my man - your money better be coming my way or I move on - point blank period

Let's not fool ourselves here - if you are my man, you ARE NOT MY FRIEND who only receives a conversation and a smile - a thought for the day from my lips to his ears.

As my man - I have certain duties I will provide to you and as my man you have certain duties you provide to me.  It is that simple - you get more from me than a conversation and a smile.

What is hard for you to understand about that very simple and basic fact that shouldn't on any level escape either one of us.  That is difference between a male friend and a male who is your boyfriend, soon to be fiance, fiance, soon to be husband and husband.

My allowing you to lay claim to me in front of the world and all who are in it - just secured your position of my giving you my loyalty, my time, my talents - become yours on different levels.  In turn your presence in my life also becomes a joy and a benefit to me - part of your presence entails the wallet in your pocket.

Point, blank period.

Look my dear, times have changed. Gone are the days men begged and begged and did anything to keep a woman. these days i really dont care much and i know this is same for many men out there. Left to me, i would never date a girl like you. Make your own money . . . i didnt suffer these past decade to give you what you dont deserve.

ronkebp:

that is what am talking about babe!! , and they will begin to cry if you dump their sorry azzes,

Who will cry? It seems most ladies are unaware every man has at least 2-3 girls who would be more than willing to drop their pants for him without thinking twice any day. the day i figured this out, women became dispensable to me. She acts up, kick her out and move on.

And another thing to all of you men who are encouraging other men to visit Ashewo or however you spell it.

Be my guest - GO ON - Enjoy that loose, slack pucci that has seen much better days - years before you took your tools and triple and quadruple dip inside those worn out environs.

Now let's look at your company Christmas party, picnic, fundraisers, Christmas Celebrations - take that same Ashewo to that occasion and see the men who have touched that same worn out va-jay-jay and the women who pull back from the date you have invited to that gathering who is now, not only an embarrasment for your sorry backsides but now you have to go home later that evening to a vjayjay that is slack and worn out and the only thing she is good for is a decent BJ.

You will replace a girlfriend of quality, beauty, intellect, interest and marriage because you don't want to assist in a financial capacity?

Who really is actually fooling who at this point?

davidylan:

Look my dear, times have changed. Gone are the days men begged and begged and did anything to keep a woman. these days i really dont care much and i know this is same for many men out there. Left to me, i would never date a girl like you. Make your own money . . . i didnt suffer these past decade to give you what you dont deserve.

Who will cry? It seems most ladies are unaware every man has at least 2-3 girls who would be more than willing to drop their pants for him without thinking twice any day. the day i figured this out, women became dispensable to me. She acts up, kick her out and move on.

who cares please dude, you need to also understand that some chics have up to 2-3 guys, one for the wallet, the other for erands, and the last for 'ruv', so do not bank on it, gone are those days, that men will belittle women and get away with it.

Shy-One:

And another thing to all of you men who are encouraging other men to visit Ashewo or however you spell it.

Be my guest - GO ON - Enjoy that loose, slack pucci that has seen much better days - years before you took your tools and triple and quadruple dip inside those worn out environs.

Now let's look at your company Christmas party, picnic, fundraisers, Christmas Celebrations - take that same Ashewo to that occasion and see the men who have touched that same worn out va-jay-jay and the women who pull back from the date you have invited to that gathering who is now, not only an embarrasment for your sorry backsides but now you have to go home later that evening to a vjayjay that is slack and worn out and the only thing she is good for is a decent BJ.

You will replace a girlfriend of quality, beauty, intellect, interest and marriage because you don't want to assist in a financial capacity?

Who really is actually fooling who at this point?

Replacing her with a girl of better quality and who is smart enough to work hard for her own. there are plenty of them out there . . .

ronkebp:

who cares please dude, you need to also understand that some chics have up to 2-3 guys, one for the wallet, the other for erands, and the last for 'ruv', so do not bank on it, gone are those days, that men will belittle women and get away with it.

there you go. you dont care neither do the men care so why do you think the men are crying for you? why waste precious tears you can shed on your favorite football team? Abegi. Persin never cry ontop miss world na una. Nonsense and ingredients.

Let me catch that man crying over a useless girl.

Think of all the top earning ladies who are looking for someone to marry them.

WHy would you marry a leech when you can marry a fellow 6 figure earner

Life becomes easier,

Your previous year W2 or potential to earn is one of the key things many guys are looking for before getting married

With so many women who are Pharmacists, MD, Top earning Nurses, Engineers, Attorneys looking for husbands and not ATM "machines " which man would marry a broke asz nowadays?

See Obamas Harvard trained lawyer marries a top attorney, Clintons One top Lawyer marries another. The era of marrying bimbos are over.

And put your future and the life of your kids at risk

dayokanu:

Think of all the top earning ladies who are looking for someone to marry them.

WHy would you marry a leech when you can marry a fellow 6 figure earner

Life becomes easier,

Your previous year W2 or potential to earn is one of the key things many guys are looking for before getting married

With so many women who are Pharmacists, MD, Top earning Nurses, Engineers, Attorneys looking for husbands and not ATM "machines " which man would marry a broke asz nowadays?

See Obamas Harvard trained lawyer marries a top attorney, Clintons One top Lawyer marries another. The era of marrying bimbos are over.

And put your future and the life of your kids at risk

No kidding and no boasting. I've had to turn down a bariatric surgeon chic earning over $300,000pa. another six-figure chic just down the office no go ever let me rest . . . asking for kondo all the time. thank God for Jesus!

and someone is telling me to cry over a chic constantly harrassing me for cash?

D Rise Of D Women!!!
No more BS frm any laced pin dude

Shy-One:

And another thing to all of you men who are encouraging other men to visit Ashewo or however you spell it.

Be my guest - GO ON - Enjoy that loose, slack pucci that has seen much better days - years before you took your tools and triple and quadruple dip inside those worn out environs.

Now let's look at your company Christmas party, picnic, fundraisers, Christmas Celebrations - take that same Ashewo to that occasion and see the men who have touched that same worn out va-jay-jay and the women who pull back from the date you have invited to that gathering who is now, not only an embarrasment for your sorry backsides but now you have to go home later that evening to a vjayjay that is slack and worn out and the only thing she is good for is a decent BJ.

You will replace a girlfriend of quality, beauty, intellect, interest and marriage because you don't want to assist in a financial capacity?

Who really is actually fooling who at this point?

Dont you think a babe with those characteristics and intellects would be able to fend for herself without dropping her shopping list on her mans laps  

Go to Medical schools, Pharmacy schools, Law schools, PhD's and see the number of pretty women out there

This is the right time in history to be a black man, Lots of great women out there who have great jobs and not waiting for a meal ticket

davidylan:

there you go. you dont care neither do the men care so why do you think the men are crying for you? why waste precious tears you can shed on your favorite football team? Abegi. Persin never cry ontop miss world na una. Nonsense and ingredients.

Let me catch that man crying over a useless girl.

STORY!!!!!! AFTER ALL, THAT SAME MISS WORLD, NA PUSSY, ALL NA PUSSY!!!!! , AS LONG AS THAT TEAR IS BEING SHED FOR A PUSSY!!!!  

@ Poster and Everyone:


Seems like no one is asking the poster (unless I missed a comment skipping the pages in btw) WHAT is making her broke. Are you living beyond your means? I ask this question because I have a friend who recently asked me for help. I am not her man, neither is there anything going on between us. I didn't hesitate to help her out, however, when I asked her some questions, I got to the root of her problem. She chooses to drive a car that is draining her pockets (it has cost her about $1,000/month to maintain this unreliable vehicle) and at the end of the day, she was short on her mortgage. When I advised her to sell the car, she insisted that she will still keep it. So basically, she let me know that in the future if she is short on her mortgage again, I know who to blame and I would feel sorry for whoever she marries.

Some of you have told the poster to "go get a better paying job." That's all fine and good, but I'm sure the poster would have done that if it were that simple. But none of you have asked the poster what her expenses are like and questioned her budgeting skills. She said she has rent, school fees etc. Didn't you budget for your expenses before you went to find yourself a flat etc.? Did you bite more than you can chew? These are the questions that need to be asked.

If you are a chick that lives beyond her means, then I would run away from you as your bf because it also shows what kind of wife you will be, since you also want to measure his marriage-worthiness by your observation of him being stingy.

10 PAGES!!!!     This is some hot ish, Did I really start it??   I dey go sleep  

dayokanu:

Think of all the top earning ladies who are looking for someone to marry them.

[b]WHy would you marry a leech when you can marry a fellow 6 figure earner[/b]Life becomes easier,

Your previous year W2 or potential to earn is one of the key things many guys are looking for before getting married

With so many women who are Pharmacists, MD, Top earning Nurses, Engineers, Attorneys looking for husbands and not ATM "machines " which man would marry a broke asz nowadays?

See Obamas Harvard trained lawyer marries a top attorney, Clintons One top Lawyer marries another. The era of marrying bimbos are over.

And put your future and the life of your kids at risk

ALL this yarn here, na story, what are you then ?? father of all leeches', 6 figure my foot ( rollz eyez)

lovedgal:

10 PAGES!!!!     This is some hot ish, Did I really start it??   I dey go sleep  

i know right!!!!!! lol, my husband don pursue me i dey go sleep!!! sei gobe!!!!

Dayo:

Give me a break - you need help sometimes as well and you know it.

I make plenty of money but there are times I need my guy to step in for me.  I am not a broke asss. person.

You are taking this too far and you know you are taking it too far.  Michelle Obama made more money than Barak and carried his lesser making money self for a number of years before he became the main bread winner.

Why are you taking your examples to an extreme level in this instance?

Historically, women are known to make less than their male counterparts.  And I can promise you that those 6 figure earning women didn't always earn 6 figures - a man was somewhere in their video giving them money to get through med school, law school, pharmacists school.

I promise you that the majority of those women were NOT SELF MADE - a man in the form of their boyfriends footed alot of the bills for those women.

Stop kidding yourself and turning this thread against women - I love a man helping me - I love a man being a man.  Receiving help from your man ISN'T AND SHOULDN'T be equated as those you are using him or abusing him or tricking him.

Most men that help their women feel proud that they can assist in this fashion and assert themselves as leaders in their home.  Most women who receive help do give help in return in the form of money, and other things as well.

I am very disappointed in your backside, neanderthal style of responses here.  Have you not had the right girlfriend?  

@lax75, I don't have a car oo. I kind of helped someone and that is why I am low on cash. I do not live in a flat perse, and I cut my coat according to my size!!

@ Shyone, ^^^^^ nope he obviously never had the right gal, if he claimed he did, he must have suffered in her hands 

Dey r simply broke asss dudes
else d lil change wont hurt em
u claim u earn big n den u cant drop sm cents?
Stingy punny hungry men

ronkebp:

Like i said, everybody should answer im papa name, if you can't afford a said 'expensive ashawo' go for your size, abi naa?? we have small, medium,large and king sizes, allow the heavy loaded, enjoy the ride and throw cash in the air!!!!, no need for the weeping!!!!

i cannot afford AN ASHEWO, let alone an expensive one, lol!
also, to "afford" an ashewo is not the problem here, the problem is women (like you) claiming that LOVE should have men spend recklessly on women while these same women (like yourself) will completely forget about "love" the minute money don finish, what an irony!!!

@shy one
not all Ashewos are street corner tramp. open any newspaper and see YOUNG FRESH WOMEN (sometimes as young as 18) selling themselves for an education.
so i am safe to say that however "fantastic" you claim to be as a partner, i am sure there are gazillions ashis that are as "fantastic" as you. the catch is that a smart men will only pay them "as you go" while you want us to pay you a monthly fee while we only need your services periodically. thats is not a sound investment, a smart man will only pay for the milk rather than owing the cow!

the funniest part is when you wrote that you are a "girlfriend of quality, beauty, intellect, interest and marriage". may i ask: if your boyfriend is ALSO of quality, beauty, intellect and marriage, why should he pay on top of all his great attributes?! shouldnt you value him for them or are they irrelevant when it's men?!

@Shy-One

That's a defense based on what transpire of few relationships in the Nigerian case and that is not even a yard stick to measure this subject at hand. The man is been defined as stingy for not using his IQ to detect what the girl want, which is money for paying bills - Jeez! I can't imagine such a low thought from a girl who has no understanding of the relationship she is into.

Your comment is from a perspective of somebody who really loves you and care about you. On the other hand it is not a task to use a financial help to judge a man's capabilities. That being said, this habit of demanding for money is very prevalent with our girls - guys take note !.  Don't task me ladies - this is same girl that will quickly dive into bed with another guy if you are not watching. Most guys here have had the experience.

MRbrownJAY:

i cannot afford AN ASHEWO, let alone an expensive one, lol!
also, to "afford" an ashewo is not the problem here, the problem is women[b] (like you) [/b] claiming that LOVE should have men spend recklessly on women while these same women (like yourself) will completely forget about "love" the minute money don finish, what an irony!!!

@shy one
not all Ashewos are street corner tramp. open any newspaper and see YOUNG FRESH WOMEN (sometimes as young as 18) selling themselves for an education.
so i am safe to say that however "fantastic" you claim to be as a partner, i am sure there are gazillions ashis that are as "fantastic" as you. the catch is that a smart men will only pay them "as you go" while you want us to pay you a monthly fee while we only need your services periodically. thats is not a sound investment, a smart man will only pay for the milk rather than owing the cow!

the funniest part is when you wrote that you are a "girlfriend of quality, beauty, intellect, interest and marriage". may i ask: if your boyfriend is ALSO of quality, beauty, intellect and marriage, why should he pay on top of all his great attributes?! shouldnt you value him for them or are they irrelevant when it's men?!

LMAO, , YOU are funny, but una never hala!!!! Exactly ooooo!!!!!! you just hit the nail on the head, money = love for some, just so you know, so that you can 're-route' (if there is any word like that)

@ MBJ

Not on any level - when I say what I say - always know that I give as much and more than I receive.

What is amazing to me with this thread is that alot of men are saying that equating giving in a relationship is on an "girlfriend abusing a man level"

Which is baffling to me - who pays for everything and sees it as a normal way of life - so if I am paying - You can believe he is paying as well.  He sees it as normal because we are "Grown Ups" we are not children or resistant to taking care of each others needs.

This poster made it clear that she is working and in school - it doesn't sound like the guy is in school - what the heck is wrong with him chipping in to assist his gf without NL going stark raving mad and accusing her of being on an Ashewo level?

Craziest crap I have ever heard and if you Mr. MBJ are insinuating on any level that I am an Ashewo - I will crawl through the screen of my laptop on you.

lovedgal:

@lax75, I don't have a car oo. I kind of helped someone and that is why I am low on cash. I do not live in a flat perse,  and I cut my coat according to my size!!

OK! So now you're talking. You basically incurred an additional expense that knocked you off course. Well, I would still say ask for help from your bf, but you can't call him stingy just because he didn't volunteer. I will tell you why? There are all sorts of no good women who mess things up for the FEW good ones. Maybe your man has been a mugu in the past and he doesn't want to make the same mistake again. It is just the unfortunate and messed up world we live in. You meet a chick that is unapproachable and has a chip on her shoulders, but you don't know where she's coming from and what guys have done to mess things up for the good ones.

So ask him. And if he flat out says no to you, even when you are certain that he is capable, then you can make an informed decision from there. Hope this makes sense.

Lastly, there is a difference btw WIFE and GIRLFRIEND! I once dated a girl who felt that she had the right to question why I would get my mom a blackberry before her. She was gone/fired the next day. Why? She should have known her place. She was a girlfriend and not my WIFE. Basically, I'm saying don't carry this sense of entitlement that has plagued the minds of many of these women. You are his girlfriend and NOT his WIFE. If there was no distinction, then there wouldn't be such a thing as saving your best for your last (WIFE) and she (WIFE) shouldn't feel special.

all4naija:

@Shy-One

That's a defense based on what transpire of few relationships in the Nigerian case and that is not even a yard stick to measure this subject at hand. The man is been defined as stingy for not using his IQ to detect what the girl want, which is money for paying bills - Jeez! I can't imagine such a low thought from a girl who has no understanding of the relationship she is into.

Your comment is from a perspective of somebody who really loves you and care about you. On the other hand it is not a task to use a financial help to judge a man's capabilities. That being said, this habit of demanding for money is very prevalent with our girls - guys take note !.  Don't task me ladies - this is same girl that will quickly dive into bed with another guy if you are not watching. Most guys here have had the experience.

Oooo - I understand you clearly now.

I have miscalculated - oops - you are right - the way you described it - I do agree with you. Sorry everybody - lolololol - it is critical that areas presented are clearly understood - I misunderstood and saw it completely from another angle.

I cant even wrap my head around all this" money being a part of love." Weird.

@ poster
                 If you want a man who will help you financially while you are dating, then you are with the wrong man!

I am sorry for saying this. Our girls are professional liars when it comes to money. The first attempt is always the path to  endless demand for money.

Well, I think they still need to learn to address things on their own rather than waiting on guys to take responsibilities for them. Some girls even made it clear on Nairaland they can not marry well educated guys without good jobs! If any girl is waiting for my hard earned cash to foot her bills you will wait till the second coming and, I say cry baby, if you could!

One thing i sure know s dat all dese men rantin ere pay bills

Let me tell you what is really sad. I know someone who is married and has kept a mistress for almost a decade. He treats his wife like garbage. Besides almost killing her last year, he makes his wife take a taxi to work (he has 10 cars by the way), while he has bought a car for his mistress and even her mother! His wife literally has to "beg" him for money while he takes his mistress with him on his international business trips, flying first class everywhere and splurging on her.

Sad thing is that many of these women in naija would say this man is NOT stingy. I'm sure his mistress would even say he truly loves her because of all the money he splurges on her. The point I'm trying to make is that this is what things have come to in naija. Shame. Behind closed doors, these same chicks who men are splurging on are making fun of these men who "help them out financially" and calling them mugus behind their backs, while these men are busy thinking they are being  "REAL MEN."