Insultme:


This is not a case of Nigerian men's alone, it takes 2 to tango. The guy also is married but the wife didn't come in with her. I heard she has a business in Nigeria she doesn't want to leave.


It is the promiscuous woman we should blame. Cause if she is not disrespectful, she won't be giving another man attention to the extent of flirting with him.

You're actually smart and I want to believe you brought the matter here just to share it and make it light on your chest, not for advice or what to do or at best to have better insights from plenty replies.

You're the only one who can decide what to do based on what you can tolerate or what you know about the matter that's beyond the scope of the write up.

Sit back, weigh your options and take the best decision. Meanwhile, get clear evidences before approaching her, especially if your conclusion is to let her go.

Meanwhile, if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't have brought her to UK without a clear agreement on what her contributions to family upkeep would be when she starts working. One person, especially a student, can not fund a family in the UK without breaking down. Even skilled couples pool resources so that both parties can return home with reasonable savings. Except you're there to be her slave. Trying to fix this at this stage might appear to her like you're being envious of her earnings.
Secondly, I can NEVER settle with a cheating partner. No matter who she is or how good she has been or what's at stake, cheating is one of my red lines, cross it and that's all. I won't cheat and will never tolerate it. Like, the mental picture of my wife being ridden by another man is not something I can cope with. This is just me anyways.

So, weigh your options and do what will give you the maximum mental well being.

Insultme:


So I should stay single cause someone cheat on me? Let me ask you a question. Even if you're so rich like that of Dangote, can you live your life alone? So in the case I neva born, so I should do what please?

What the fck is wrong with this guy, if you can't love yourself you will lose alot and if you can't stay alone please kindly stay in the relationship, and mark my words you will kiss IRON(Go to jail) one day and you'd lose all you've acquired.

DesireV:

You're actually smart and I want to believe you brought the matter here just to share it and make it light on your chest, not for advice or what to do or at best to have better insights from plenty replies.

You're the only one who can decide what to do based on what you can tolerate or what you know about the matter that's beyond the scope of the write up.

Sit back, weigh your options and take the best decision. Meanwhile, get clear evidences before approaching her, especially if your conclusion is to let her go.

Meanwhile, if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't have brought her to UK without a clear agreement on what her contributions to family upkeep would be when she starts working. One person, especially a student, can not fund a family in the UK without breaking down. Even skilled couples pool resources so that both parties can return home with reasonable savings. Except you're there to be her slave. Trying to fix this at this stage might appear to her like you're being envious of her earnings.
Secondly, I can NEVER settle with a cheating partner. No matter who she is or how good she has been or what's at stake, cheating is one of my red lines, cross it and that's all. I won't cheat and will never tolerate it. Like, the mental picture of my wife being ridden by another man is not something I can cope with. This is just me anyways.

So, weigh your options and do what will give you the maximum mental well being.

WORD!!!

Zonefree:

Please don't respond to that guy again, his head is not correct.

A woman you called your wife went to a guy's house to collect gbola cos of three handbags and the morón is proud and defending her. Na so the woman go bring another man's child heap for the man head. Foolish horseband of a whoré! E better make person born bandit than to born a headless Simp.

I've failed as a father if i have a son like the OP. Tueh!

*Spits on his empty head!

TBh I'm ashamed on his behalf , for a woman to do this right under you nose . Do you know what she's done in naija before he got back ? So he can't leave a cheating wife because of loneliness 😁 Very silly boy

Call her attention and open up all the secret, and see her reaction. If she apologized from the button of her heart forgive her, and if you have truly forgiven her. Let everything slides and don't bring up the issue again. There is no marriage without temptation.
If she is truly yours ,her behavior will increase positively and she will love you more.

But if there is still no change even in her behavior you style to bring her back to Nigeria and don't returned with her again.
That's my humble advice. And you too should be prayerful and don't allow this marriage to ruin your life.

God bless your marriage.

WELL! MY CANDID ADVICE, PLAY ALONG LIKE MUMU FOR AT LEAST TWO MONTHS.

INSIST ON VISITING NIGERIA TOGETHER..

ONCE YOU GET TO NIGERIA, US STYLE TAKE HER PASSPORT AND HIDE IT.

TAKE THE NEXT AVAILABLE FLIGHT BACK IN TWO DAYS.

This would cost you alot . The stress in getting the passport back or even destroy the passport sef. Make see no get glimpse of it for life. Then relocate from your present location in UK.

Her brain go reset. Cos if she still dey UK. She can manover

Insultme:


So how do you protect yourself in a country that favors women?

If possible travel down to Nigeria after a break with her. And leave alone suddenly. She can find her way

Richhard:


Just curious, what's your final decision, and you've kept some proofs right?


P.S. I'm impressed by the way you've handled this matter, and also people posting rubbish.

Most are Nigerians and don't understand that things are done differently over there.

So you know, you're handling this well, well done bro.

The fellow guy might be up there sef saying marriage is divine. So I won't play into their hands to know what have decided but surely. I hope to update the thread on how it ends.

[quote author=Insultme post=121726798]This is a true life story and it's really a long epistle, so take your time to read it. Insults and advice are welcomed as well.

There is this girl we're dating in Nigeria, which I intend to Marry though eventually. It started that I got my student visa in Nov 2021, so instead of me coming alone and leaving her alone back home, I decided to get Married to her same Nov 2021 and same year I did my house warming, that was in December. So she moved in to my house and I traveled for my Masters in January 2022.

So I came in alone to put everything in place, renting apartment and starting my studies. It was really an heculeous task, my eyes see shege as I was unable to pass through verification / affordability check, so I had to offer 6 month upfront before I was later considered. By end of January, she started with she is feeling lonely and can't stay alone in the house, so I started processing her visa February and I went back to Nigeria during Easter to bring her myself, just to avoid unnecessary wàhálà at the POE.

Brother sorry for everything, we do make mistakes because of our lost in woman, she has been making this mistakes back here in Nigeria, but the problem is that we don't look well when it comes to marriage, we go for that chic is beautiful, na my baby be that,

Even when u left her in ur so call apartment in Nigeria, u can go and verify, she Bleep there too, but do to u are blind with lost and beauty, u don't care to ask,

My brother no advice for u because I won't take anyone, I have people like u, and I also know that u have people around u , either ur brothers or cousins u would have help to come out there and hustle, instead ur lost made u go for woman, not that ur not seeing what is going on now, between woman and people that brought them out from Nigeria,

Just prepare for the worst , because the worst is yet to come, she is not seeing u as a husband, she is seeing u as the boyfriend u guys use to be, what a Bleep, why would my own wife bring in something another man bought for her in my own house, that day police must come and do there worst then me staying with her.

Ur too weak, women don't like weak people like u, guy man go impregnate her for naija here first, before any waka

I know a friend who is going through such. Its common in the Uk

IyaebeTheGreat:
This world will be a better place if we stop paying back evil with evil.

Hes not paying evil with evil. It's just like a thief who's sent to jail for stealing, his suffering there should make him learn lessons not to steal again. If he continues to steal, he will continue to go to jail. The guy should use wisdom to kick her away, no drama. If the guy spending on her decided to marry her (which I doubt), she will keep her arse in one place. And if she doesn't keep her arse in one place, that one will also chase her away. Ashawo no dey stay one place O, ask Tonto Dikeh.

NwaliE01:
Hmmm, i am planning of bringing mine abroad this year. This your story is instilling fear in me.
What can we do to women to truly please them?

Nothing my dear brother.
The worst part is, most people think there is love abroad. Every man to himself ni. Nothing more.
But I want to believe their are few that are still faithful.

I have met one that the husband is late going to 3 years now and still she won't date any man. Na still same uk.

Insultme:


So I should stay single cause someone cheat on me? Let me ask you a question. Even if you're so rich like that of Dangote, can you live your life alone? So in the case I neva born, so I should do what please?

you guys would see good girls, leave them to marry slay queens. You call good girls dirty, ugly, and now most Naija girls have become slay queens bcx slay queens are more successful with rich guys.

Oga, if a lady can disrespect you by going to another guy's house and coming back home with three bags, then something must be wrong with you if you are still seeing her as your wife. You will still get the shock of your life. Just continue keeping her.

IyaebeTheGreat:
Harsh treatment, they should settle and if that is not in sight then they can separate and he can still help her whenever the need arises. They shouldn’t part on a sour note. You don’t pay evil with evil. Some women sha

Help her for what? What are you even saying? HE MARRIED her, brought her over to UK for a good life, provided for her and even helped with a job. The girl is stupid, there are several needy people out there to help with your resources, stupid people dont learn until you take the things they're getting for free away. Since she has no child for him, he should cut her and her memory off FOREVER.

Insultme:
This is a true life story and it's really a long epistle, so take your time to read it. Insults and advice are welcomed as well.

There is this girl we're dating in Nigeria, which I intend to Marry though eventually. It started that I got my student visa in Nov 2021, so instead of me coming alone and leaving her alone back home, I decided to get Married to her same Nov 2021 and same year I did my house warming, that was in December. So she moved in to my house and I traveled for my Masters in January 2022.

So I came in alone to put everything in place, renting apartment and starting my studies. It was really an heculeous task, my eyes see shege as I was unable to pass through verification / affordability check, so I had to offer 6 month upfront before I was later considered. By end of January, she started with she is feeling lonely and can't stay alone in the house, so I started processing her visa February and I went back to Nigeria during Easter to bring her myself, just to avoid unnecessary wàhálà at the POE.

/
The best way to minimize your loss from digging a deep hole is to stop digging. You already know how it will end but you choose to be in denial. I will definitely pull a stop loss if I were in your shoes.

/

You married a slay queen... It's sad... I don't know how you met, or how long you dated... From what you wrote, she's no good. If I'm in your shoes, it's over. This is your cross. So the final decision is yours.

By the way, that's my town ... I studied at the University of Salford, so I know the city and the environs of Greater Manchester very well.

Wish you well bro... Whatever decision you take. Peace

kingthreat:
This need to japa is currently destroying many Nigerian marriages.
If your woman is a slay queen, please I beg you. Marry her, keep her for Naija o. No dare japa with her. Cos there she will do whatever she wants with no family members to caution her, with the law on her side and will get away with it.
However, if your woman is the homely type, not about slaying and religious, please take her abroad. She'll be all about building your finances and a home.

Anybody that marries slay queen marries her at his own risk. I no get advise to give anybody.

It's annoying but the truth is, you have to pray for God guidance on this. Na your wife pray for her. Every marriage have it's on trying time. Remember before you married her you fought for the marriage to work so now fight for her. And it's only God that can turn her heart.. you marriage counselings will stop her actions. Las las it will end up in separate. Which will directly or indirectly affect you.

Insultme:
This is a true life story and it's really a long epistle, so take your time to read it. Insults and advice are welcomed as well.

There is this girl we're dating in Nigeria, which I intend to Marry though eventually. It started that I got my student visa in Nov 2021, so instead of me coming alone and leaving her alone back home, I decided to get Married to her same Nov 2021 and same year I did my house warming, that was in December. So she moved in to my house and I traveled for my Masters in January 2022.

So I came in alone to put everything in place, renting apartment and starting my studies. It was really an heculeous task, my eyes see shege as I was unable to pass through verification / affordability check, so I had to offer 6 month upfront before I was later considered. By end of January, she started with she is feeling lonely and can't stay alone in the house, so I started processing her visa February and I went back to Nigeria during Easter to bring her myself, just to avoid unnecessary wàhálà at the POE.

Forgive and forget, but have mercy on yourself
The woman is selfish and I wonder how u ended up with that kind of woman, maybe fine face blinded you.
That woman will do worse and send you to your calamity if you don’t part ways with her before sunset

Hambivert:


I sparogatively like the way you are handling trolls. Please don't fall for their negativity and that their simp line they are accusing you of. The UK is not Nigeria, and I must assert that you handle this situation with wisdom.

Read Jeremiah: 13vs23 (NIV) to understand your wife. I do hope you have screenshots of the chats she had with the other guy to be able to prove your point. I wouldn't advise you to divorce your wife or stay with her...cos I've made it my duty not to shook mouth for husband and wife matter.
However, just know that any decision you make now would influence your future notwithstanding.

Am not bothered about the trolls.
I know most of them have not stepped out the shore of Nigeria, hence the reason they're saying it's weakness

Bro, whatever you wanna do just be careful.

You know she has the upper hand now that she is in the UK. Do not let her send you packing out of your house o.... If that happens, I'm sure you know you will only be able to leave with your passport and your clothings.. you may likely loose all what you have worked for. na that one go break you pass o...

Anticipate her reaction and be steps ahead of her in whatever you wanna do. Give yourself brains o...

Insultme:


Yes. Am immature.
I be 18 years old sef.
When it's your turn let's know how you're going to handle it.

Know this and know peace, she was definitely cheating on you before she left Nigeria

felixxy:


How do u know the guy is here

Are you the guy?😂🤣.
Even if he is not on this thread at the moment, someone is going to narrate the story to him one way or the other, that is the reason I tweaked some things in the story, although I gave out lots of information already but still, it can be anyone.

kingthreat:


Me wey be gangster no fit trust any woman

I swear bro, that'll be one of the greatest mistake a nigga can make 😃

Insultme:


Do you expect her to say she doesn't want to stay married? Of course she go claim náà Devils work and I should forgive. But do you think she can repent? No I don't think so

The moment she knows YOURE AWARE of her hookup, you're in TROUBLE. Dont be surprised she already AHEAD OF YOU in whatever plans she has next. Those Naija women uk dont just wake up one morning to send the men out of the house suddenly, they must taken time to DILIGENTLY PLAN their action. You need to act and ACT FAST.

Insultme:


I think I rushed everything.
Thinking am doing her and myself a favor by bringing her in.
I should have left her behind and keep sending her upkeep, but still. Na Nigeria own go worst pass😂😂😀

You didn't get to know her well, TRUE... Because someone like this, has the hoe spirit in her ... Only God knows what she did the short period you left her in Naija.... And the plans she may have going forward... I know what I'm saying... I've seen how these scenarios ended... And it's usually not good... For your peace of mind... Waka

EPIJOE:
WELL! MY CANDID ADVICE, PLAY ALONG LIKE MUMU FOR AT LEAST TWO MONTHS.

INSIST ON VISITING NIGERIA TOGETHER..

ONCE YOU GET TO NIGERIA, US STYLE TAKE HER PASSPORT AND HIDE IT.

TAKE THE NEXT AVAILABLE FLIGHT BACK IN TWO DAYS.

This would cost you alot . The stress in getting the passport back or even destroy the passport sef. Make see no get glimpse of it for life. Then relocate from your present location in UK.

Her brain go reset. Cos if she still dey UK. She can manover

Wow you really said what was in my mind😂😂

ThinkSmarter:
don't divorce her.
you brought a single women in her 20s presumed to be beautiful in UK, a free world where women's rights are elevated.
Try and give her good sex.
Allow her to socialize.
She will calm down after childbirth.
At least make her a baby mama before thinking of divorce.

Someone would have expected more from "Thinksmarter" Monicker

marcopollo:


I don't really blame them sha. I blame the men who take such nonsense from them. My wife can never try that shit. If she does... She know now!!! No matter how mad man mad reach, he must look road well before crossing the road.

Yinmu 😂😂.
Na your type they give vegetable at home to pluck and would come online to spill trash. In what way is she helping me? Is it the tuition fee that have sorted before leaving or the food that I buy regularly? Like I said, I have my game plan. Just informing you guys and waiting for the perfect time.

Revolva:


Wtf that surely happens..ave bang some gals while on fone with their boyfriend

Na there i know say females are never to be teusted

And those kinda girls will keep a straight face while lying to their weak ass simp boyfriends 😂

kingthreat:


Me wey be gangster no fit trust any woman

Trusting women is one of the greatest mistakes a nigga can make