Kobojunkie:
Stop lying! He didn't test anyone. He simply accepted the one who gave him and his animals drink! Make una no dey add una own delusions between the lines of what is written.

thinkmoney:
■ U no wise oh. I was being civil with u but he be like say u like wahala. I will post the Bible verse here now for u to read if he performed a TEST or not. Focus on the servant prayer in verse 14. OLODO
Genesis 24:13-15
King James Version
13 Behold, I stand here by the well of water; and the daughters of the men of the city come out to draw water:

14 And let it come to pass, that the damsel to whom I shall say, Let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may drink; and she shall say, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: let the same be she that thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac; and thereby shall I know that thou hast shewed kindness unto my master.

15 And it came to pass, before he had done speaking, that, behold, Rebekah came out, who was born to Bethuel, son of Milcah, the wife of Nahor, Abraham's brother, with her pitcher upon her shoulder.

MetaBroadband:
Thank you all for your excellent contributions. Please note the following:

1. They said the man abandoned them, but what if it's not actually what happened, so let's not be emotional.

2. I'm not paying the bride price to the biological father, but there should be an understanding between both fathers at this point. because if the child was taken away from the man or if he had acted as a child then, both parents can come to an understanding so that my wife won't hurt any part of the tradition in the course of our marriage.

3. I know that my mother inlaw would be angry, but I still feel it's my right to know. What if something bad happens to my wife because she married in a way that violates her tradition (give Caeser things to Caesar)

4. I'm doing this for my fiancee not me, because as far as I've paid my bride price nothing can come to me, but if anything comes to my wife, it automatically affects me. So it's not just her and her mum's business.

Thank you as you put this thoughts into consideration as well.

Please excuse typos

Jovialjune1:
All of you will rest las las, keep typing from your imagination just to castigate women, even if we choose to believe your fiction, who do you think you are to want to meddle into what is not your concern?

Do you think the lady and her mother haven't thought of the traditional effect before deciding to go ahead with the wedding? The step dad that took care of her since childhood, is he a dunce to not know her dad abandoned them thereby marrying and taking care of them? The dead beat that remained a deadbeat all these years, why didn't he look for his daughter if he really wanted to be a part of her life? Did her mother's marriage to another man stop him from looking for her? The lady abi na fiancee that told you he abandoned them, do you think she wouldn't have made an effort to hear from him as a grown adult and still see that he's still the same?

It's not by force to marry her, she sees her step dad as her father, being a sperm donor doesn't automatically make one a father, if the step dad is not enough for you, move on to other ladies.

Micheal56:
If am the gal I can hate u for this ur I too know attitude
Bro if u have anything to give Abeg give to the foster father good people need to be appreciated
The father never beleive any event like this will happen in the future
Indirectly she no beleive say the gal go be somebody

davidadenrele:
Brotherly,


Please don't not do introduction until you meet the biological father, i repeat do not do introduction until you meet the biological father!! talking to you from a real life experience, any lady that frowns at you meeting her biological father despite the difference or issue with her mother is not worth marrying and has a hidden agenda you might regret later endeavour to meet the father and when you do please move closer to the father from there you will be able discover one or two things about your wife and the mum, a word is enough for the wise.

Don't be an instrument of manipulation by wife to be, and the mother, there's more to what's happening ensure you meet her father and please ask question, do your findings properly don't believe what she tells you until you meet the father.

I wont say more than may the peace of God be with you!

All the best.

MetaBroadband:
I appreciate all you comments so far, but I see many of you ignoring traditions and the points I raised because of emotions.

Have you not seen where person was mandated to pay bride price twice either because of one or two mistakes?

That's the girl's story, what if they all lied to her and she grew up with it? What happens if the tradition doesn't permit another man to collect bride price of a girl whose father is still alive?

Please drop emotions and be more critical in this matter I beg you guys. I've heard of a scenerio where they have to change the venue of a traditional marriage simple because it wasn't supposed to be held at the place it was holding then.

Are we simply trashing the traditions when indeed the bride price follows the tradition?

Abeg make we think or ask person wey dey advance for his own opinion before we comment.

What if tomorrow now, they said because of A wasn't supposed to be A, I have to come and pay goat and Elon musk before this and that?

MetaBroadband:
Good morning mature men and women in the house. Please I need your help on this topic.

My Fiancee told me about how her biological dad abandoned her and her mum after getting her mum pregnant.

Her mum later married another man who adopted her as his child.

Now she's grown and I've proposed to her, I wanted to go for her official introduction and list collection.

Would it not be nice to hear the biological father's opinion? Should I just ignore the fact that the man is still alive and proceed with the marriage arrangement?

Although she said I should not bother about that, but this is Nigeria and as an Akwa Ibomite I don't think it's proper. Although she's against me trying to find out about the man's opinion. Should I care?

What can you say about this?

Note: she only told me that the man abandoned them, but what if it was her mum that actually took her away?

turischool:
■ What about if he finds out that it's the mother than abandon the man just to marry her current husband

MetaBroadband:
Good morning mature men and women in the house. Please I need your help on this topic.

My Fiancee told me about how her biological dad abandoned her and her mum after getting her mum pregnant.

Her mum later married another man who adopted her as his child.

Now she's grown and I've proposed to her, I wanted to go for her official introduction and list collection.

Would it not be nice to hear the biological father's opinion? Should I just ignore the fact that the man is still alive and proceed with the marriage arrangement?

Although she said I should not bother about that, but this is Nigeria and as an Akwa Ibomite I don't think it's proper. Although she's against me trying to find out about the man's opinion. Should I care?

What can you say about this?

Note: she only told me that the man abandoned them, but what if it was her mum that actually took her away?

IamMobisola:


This does not make sense. What about daughters that were actually abandoned by their biological fathers? What about daughters that were sexually assaulted by their biological fathers? What about cases of domestic violence on both mother and child? You think any reasonable daughter would still want to be involved with such father?

turischool:


What about if he finds out that it's the mother than abandon the man just to marry her current husband

oweniwe:


Even if it were the case my cousin mother abandoned her, for the sake of the wedding, everybody is obliged to behave themselves before their inlaws that are also present at the wedding venue.

If the bride is insisting on having her way that the deadbeat father or his family side must not attend the wedding, it will look selfish of the bride , it will make her look like she will be controlling and stiff- minded after her marriage.

Words Will start going round among the guests, unnecessary gossiping during the wedding... It can even lead to quarrel on the wedding day between the groom family and the bride. All those stories of in-laws fighting over food on wedding day, it's not about food. There has been underlying grudges before. It's tensions like this that cause it.

The foundation of the marriage would already be affected by such negative perceptions right from the wedding day. It's not healthy for the marriage. Any disagreement the couple have later, people will now start referring back to the wedding day that it's because you did not do this or you did not do that, that is why this is happening now.

Don't give room or chance for that kind of future allegations. It's better to fulfill all righteousness, find a way to balance everything and be neutral.

After the wedding day, anyhow the bride want to do with her deadbeat father, that's her problem

In an emergency situation, like say, during childbirth complications or accidy, the bride need blood transfusion and only the father can donate blood for her , that is when the husband will now go and look for the father?

It doesn't work like that. It's better to be neutral and carry everyone along... Just formal recognitions here and there, that's all. After the wedding, anyhow the bride want to do, that's her wahala

MetaBroadband:
Good morning mature men and women in the house. Please I need your help on this topic.

My Fiancee told me about how her biological dad abandoned her and her mum after getting her mum pregnant.

Her mum later married another man who adopted her as his child.

Now she's grown and I've proposed to her, I wanted to go for her official introduction and list collection.

Would it not be nice to hear the biological father's opinion? Should I just ignore the fact that the man is still alive and proceed with the marriage arrangement?

Although she said I should not bother about that, but this is Nigeria and as an Akwa Ibomite I don't think it's proper. Although she's against me trying to find out about the man's opinion. Should I care?

What can you say about this?

Note: she only told me that the man abandoned them, but what if it was her mum that actually took her away?

turischool:


What about if he finds out that it's the mother than abandon the man just to marry her current husband

xavuv:



If i were you,i would discard the lady and mother together. What bitterness!

They should let you go and see the biological father, just to show face and rub minds. Even the step father should come in and make them see reasons for you to go and see the real father.

Such a fiancee is full of bile, understandably implanted in her by her mother. That bile will still be there for you to wrestle with when your time comes.

She will show you shege.

Micheal56:
If u see the biological father bro u actually disrespect the man that raised her up
Bro think of it
What about if the foster father would have abandon the gal same as biological father do u think you will have a beautiful wife to marry today
Think of it

Emaprince:
Then if that is the case. She should allow the man to find out himself.

Any girl raised by a single mum is usually a red flag as majority of them end up being extremely promiscuous or man haters.

Every man should be worried if their wife to be is not in good term with her dad..and advising him to not meet her real dad.

Such man stands the risk of going through the same situation with their kids.

Micheal56:

1m still even big to celebrate some gals
How can I use 1m if a wedding of 6month before divorce

MetaBroadband:
Good morning mature men and women in the house. Please I need your help on this topic.

My Fiancee told me about how her biological dad abandoned her and her mum after getting her mum pregnant.

Her mum later married another man who adopted her as his child.

Now she's grown and I've proposed to her, I wanted to go for her official introduction and list collection.

Would it not be nice to hear the biological father's opinion? Should I just ignore the fact that the man is still alive and proceed with the marriage arrangement?

Although she said I should not bother about that, but this is Nigeria and as an Akwa Ibomite I don't think it's proper. Although she's against me trying to find out about the man's opinion. Should I care?

What can you say about this?

Note: she only told me that the man abandoned them, but what if it was her mum that actually took her away?

Joseph77200:


For goodness sake how do people take side without hearing from both sides? You never even find out if this was all true or not and you've started castigated the real father and what of if the real mother sold fake narrations to the daughter and denied the father access because of her own selfish reasons? See don't take side until you know what really happened from both side because life is more deep that hearing from one side and the mother might be lying.

Femi8586:


You're being so emotional
This kind of issue needs 80% logic, 20% emotions

Read the posts of Op very well, you'll sense Op's fiance is not telling him the whole truth. She's still hiding many things from him which only meeting the biological father can reveal the untold truth.
But you want Op to ignore the truth because you're emotional. Something that can hurt him later in future.

OP should see the biological father not because he owes him anything but just to know him and hear from him first..

Ufuka:
Iam so shocked by many people's comment here, I hardly comment but I have to do so cos this's a matter between life and death. In Akwa Ibom State, there's no amendment to custom and tradition, don't allow your fiancee or your future mother inlaw to lead you astray, for the sake of your fiancee's life. Listen very well, go and get the marriage list from your fiancee's biological father, the bride price and every other thing should be paid to him and his kinsmen. The marriage should be done in his hometown and he's the one to sit as a father that very day. Any amount of money you can afford, give it to the man that took care of your fiancee. If your fiancee and the mother refuse to accept it, please and please cancel the marriage. A WORD IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE.

bukatyne:


If you don't believe the lady and her mother, then end the relationship.

Is it so hard?