I don't think it would be wise to see him

My Dear,

Their is never anything good from hooking up again with an Ex, it can only bring heart break. Something made him leave the first time and its still thesame world and thesame person.

I have been in that shoes before and it left me heart broken. I had since moved on with my life and am enjoying every beat of it.

Recently i ran into him in Lagos and I was so happy things went the way it did.

So my dear, forget about your  "EX"  and move on he is just a  looser.

Enjoy your life girl but be carefull because the one you have today can be an Ex  tomorrow  most of them are snakes.

Ifedima

I would want you to go by the saying of "when you get to the bridge you cross it"

It is prematured to be apprehensive of the reason he wants to see you, in fact you should have allowecd him come, hear him then if need be post the issue online to seek an advice.

We really don't know for instance the circumstances that led to your break up because that is like more of a determining factor to what happens to your future courtings.

Do you now HATE him because you broke up? Take him as a friend and let him show up. If he says anything, you need not give him a conclusive answer immediately you can always come to the forum for views.

Hear me, welcome him first.

Seun thumbs up to you for nairaland, it will soon be about the most popular local content driven forum, in no distant time

Better safe than sorry.Give temptation a meter, he'll take a mile.
All the best, Pinky.

The temptation you can avoid, avoid, the one you can't, resist, and the one you are powerless towards, ask for God's help. He'll not dissapoint you.
Better safe than sorry.
All the best pinky.

All this noise come be wetin now? wetin be your name sef? carry on with your plans because i know u have some, you know why he's coming and we do too , after all na only 10 minutes the thing go last!! all man go happy

Sweetheart, the key here is 'residual feelings'. U've still got it. and u've got to face it. Your ex knows that and most likely he knows you very well too.

Honey, he has nothing to tell u after 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 calendar months (not days!!!!!!!!), other than 'Let's begin again'. If he's the humble type, he'll add 'Forgive me' (some men can be soooo proud they want u to think it's a priviledge dating them).
After 9 solid months of silence, and a cold exit

It's up to you to decide if u want to stay with your present guy or go back to the other guy. Don't get too emotional, whatever u do. emotions are always on the motion/ on the move, so u've got know what u want in life and get it, without sentiments.

If u aren't considering taking him back, DO NOT, i repeat DO NOT see him for any reason whatsoever. Let him tell u the inferno that is bringing down his house over the phone. Your help:call the fire service over the phone to put out the fire at his end or have u now become a fire fighter? Girl, wise up!! If he needs financial help, if u feel generous enough send him money by all means.Thank God for ebanking. whatever it is if u are not thinking of going back to him, he should speak with u on phone.chikena!

People must always remember this, If u have to shut the door, please shut it gently. U never can tell if u have to pass through that door again. Relationships don't work out all the time but doesn't mean we should become enemies.
@leighcon
If he had thot of her feelings and wellbeing he would have extended his arm of friendship in those 9 silent months.If u cross some bridges, u will not like where u find urself afterwards.
@romeo
don't be so hard on poster. her emotions are involved.

@pinkttea,
you know ur ex more than anyone of us.considering this fact,you know what could be the worst possible thing that could happen.
If it were my guy asking for a meeting,cos of what we've been thru and all that,i would be quite sure of what he wants and i would definately not go and see him,not cos i can't face him,but cos he is not worth the time and trouble.you are happy in ur new relationship don't let anything destroy urhappiness.if he has anything important to say he will say it on the fone,if he can't then just 4get him and let him know ur completely over him.
girls rule

Benit--watch it!!! don't encourage her to ruin her new found relationship. wat do u mean,"there is noting wrong? why did he leave her in first place? after 9 months he now calls to say let talk. talk wat? watever he has to say let him say it on the phone and let it end their.

MY POST

Pinkttea, my advice. don't dare give him that satisfaction of you and him having lunch and chatting with him. after 9 month he now pop up like a movie star that went sabbatical resurface to be given a rosy welcome by his fans. come to think of it, i hope you are not hanging on to his mobile number? if you really love your self and love the new guy you better delete whatever information you ever had with your EX- either good or bad and tell him to do the same for you. that way he will know that it's over between the two of you.

Wish you all the best and luck in your new relationship. you deserve better.

CUTE ASS!!!!
Lets just assume the guy wants to talk about something else,aaight,
HE SHOULD SAY IT OVER THE PHONE!!!!!
If after talking on phone she feels that there is a need to talk in person then, and only then, can he come over.

But believe me, the guy has nothing else to say!!!!
Na today??

let him make the journey . For nothing! Then just stand him up!

@TOPIC

Why are you making a big deal out of nothing , gosh

So you can to Nairaland to tell us your ex's ask u out for lunch? SO what

Lmfao, Do you think his gonna ask you to give him a 2nd chance? hell to the NO NO, he just wanted to clear the beef btw your two.

What i think is that, you still have feelings for your ex , hmmmmmmm(There are always two sides to a story), u are really not telling us the real issue here oh, becos how can he call you after 9month to ask you for a lunch , something is fishy here.

i have been nursing the idea of writing a book called the ex-factor cos ive seen what can come out of meeting your ex.  i had a beauty once who told me when l asked about this dinner ivs fom the ex and co and she told me 'there is nothing there'. i believed her and was left high and dry in the cold. my word is if what you have is worth it burn down the bridges. they only help you back to where you did not think they will.

on another note some people though they care can allow an ex enough room for some freshair. his silence for 9 months may just be that. i dont like personally, sticking my nose in other peoples business. i have not spoken to my ex for six weeks or less. i miss her like hell but decided to stay off when we were begining to get bitter and some txt msg had gone into the arena of insults. i had my faults, we both had ours. i did not get a validation but c'est la vie.

Spoilt i disagree with that. why make him go to that trouble and stood him up? what does she had to gain by that?
I will further advice, send him an anonymous text message that you don't want to meet with him, talk with him or even having lunch with him. whatever he want to say, should have been said nine month ago not after.

cheers.

spoilt:

let him make the journey . For nothing! Then just stand him up!

What kind of advice is this , how will u feel if a guy does that to you

i hate men when they broke up with a lady few months or years later they ran after her as if their life depends on the lady. when the going was good, she was the pretties thing in the world for you but the slightest thing she did or don't do you kicked her out of your life as if she is not human being to make mistake or she perfect enough not to make one hell of a mistake in life and as such she don't deserve a second chance while you two are together.

And to the ladies folk who do think and still feel their Ex as if their dick is all that is in this life. you are all shortening your life span. A man feels he is not getting the juice like he use to and decide to look for a sweeter juice and left you, while sucking on the new juice and get tired of it or it's not so sweet as you and decide to give you a call or you while in another relationship still thinks about him. You are more of a LovePeddler than a LovePeddler

I want you all to take it to the bank and save it.

amaikama:

i hate men when they broke up with a lady few months or years later they ran after her as if their life depends on the lady. when the going was good, she was the pretties thing in the world for you but the slightest thing she did or don't do you kicked her out of your life as if she is not human being to make mistake or she perfect enough not to make one hell of a mistake in life and as such she don't deserve a second chance while you two are together.

And to the ladies folk who do think and still feel their Ex as if their privates is all that is in this life. you are all shortening your life span. A man feels he is not getting the juice like he use to and decide to look for a sweeter juice and left you, while sucking on the new juice and get tired of it or it's not so sweet as you and decide to give you a call or you while in another relationship still thinks about him. You are more of a LovePeddler than a LovePeddler

I want you all to take it to the bank and save it.

With all due respect, Honorable, Chief Mr. Amaikama, MDM, PDP, ODE, CIPP, the people have asked me to ask you these questions:
They are hoping you can provide them valuable insights on the industry of banking + saving (investing) of Instruments.

PS - In a follow-on meeting, the people would also like your wisdom on how a female (viz-a-viz the poster) is considered transformed into what you call a LovePeddler solely based on a consideration of lunch with her ex. THANK YOU SIR FOR ALL ENLIGHTENMENT.

Here are the questions received regarding your wisdom on banking of body parts:

1. What is the name of the bank you reference?

2. Where is it located and how long has it been in business? Is it approved and regulated by CBN?

3. What is the prime interest rate offered?

4. Who collects on the original deposit [plus interest] in the event that the depositor dies?

5. Who is the title of ownership certificate awarded to? - The depositor? The maker? The bank?


Thank you very much Honorable sir for any educational insight, and enlightenment you provide to we, your people. We are greatly honored.

I just hope he doesnt want to break/confess some really bad news. If you guys broke up 9months back and suddenly he wants to meet and talk(in person), it can be one of two things:

1)He wants to get back with you

2) There is some really bad news he wants to break or confess. Good news can always be shared on the phone.

If you have truly moved on as you say, Call him and ask him to forget about coming over and that he should tell you what it is over the phone. Tell him you are willing to spend the credit on phone.

There is no need testing things. He is a guy and he may take your invitation to visit as a sign that you are still interested.
On the other hand, Its good that your relationship wasnt based on sex otherwise one would be anxious as to the sort of talk that cant happen over the phone.
Cheers

pinkttea:
He doesn't want the talk on the Phone!

A comeback 

well i don't think that's going to happen.

If that's what he wants, i can't wait to laugh

What is so important about this talk, that it cannot be "talked" on di phone? I beg, your -ex has another thing in mind, jare! And am sure what is on his mind is nothing good. Or has he just discovered that he was infected with something, and he is worried that he might have passed it on to you?

@ rubbermaid
thank u sooo much but has our Honourable amaikama answered u yet? maybe not was just wondering maybe he is coming in as invisible
he must feel like Profesor of womanology nosense

CAN ANYBODY TELL ME WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH BABEELOVE? LIKE WHAT KIND OF PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEM DOES SHE REALLY HAVE?
ITS HONESTLY NOT FUNNY ANYMORE, I THINK SHE NEEDS TO GET CHECKED. SOMETHING WRONG FOR SURE.
SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING!
(sorry that was seriously off topic, but def. needed to be said and addressed)

i reaally dont think its a good idea to have your ex come from out of town for lunch, wetin he wan eat suddenly after nine months? He has sumthing up his sleeves sistah and i promise you, it may end up making you go down that memory lane you dont want to visit, we gals always do have a soft spot especially with someone you almost married, my advise is STEER CLEAR, if you wan eat, make de new man take you out, or cook for your sweet self! he can spill watever it is on the phone, avoid wahala o! curiousity na im kpeme de cat, thats my own!!!!

druggie233:

What kind of advice is this , how will u feel if a guy does that to you

relax! where's your humour?
Besides spoilt will not undertake a long journey to have lunch with an ex! i no get that kind power.

i tink u shld go out 2 lunch and show him u're still d chic u've always been .obviously u've segzd so many times so i bet dats not wat he's lookin 4. act maturedly 4 once in ur lyf and u'll feel joy inside.

one question, who broke up with who and why?

1) if u broke up with him, then he might be coming to try to mend things up, and maybe look into the future for both of u, i.e. if u guys havent talked in a while, it might be sufficient enough time for him to realize that he misses u, this is only if u havent been showing him any kind of feelings that u still like him

2) on the other side, if he broke up with u, then i will tel u point blank, the guy is Hot and he wants some, simple and plain, i know u said your relationship is not based on intimacy but watver is closest to that which u guys did , is what he is coming for, theres no need to deceive yourself, i am a guy and i know how we think, unfortunately some women do not see through these things

now let me tell u why i think this guy stands a better chance at no.2 , from the looks of things u still have feelings for the guy, its all clear so u need to b careful with wat u do, if u are comin a messageboard to ask if u should see him, i think your mind knows exactly what u want to do , u just need people to make u feel better about it, i only had to read 3 of your posts to tell that u stil like this guy, and here are the reasons

a) u are curious to se what he has to say (this should never be the case if u have broken up with someone and moved on with someone u claim to love, watever he has to say could be discussed on the phone as far as u are concerned)

b) u plan not to tell your current boyfriend with a mere reason of "u know how men are sometimes" (i'll tell u point blank, that is a dumb excuse, and exactly how most u women fall for stupid things and then u get back to your innocent boyfriend explaining crap, wehn the other guy has trashed u, im not saying that will be the case for u, im just saying, u not tellin your current boyfriend means u don't care how much he feels with u doing stuff behind his back, have u ever thought of if he gets to find out? have u thought of the aftermath of your relationship after that? if u really love this guy, do u care about his feelings if he finds out u met with your ex without tellin him??)

c) people mentioned sex as a reason why he is coming to see u and u replied saying our relationship was not based on sex  (LOL, if your relationship was not based on sex, u trully wont be typing that out here, u wont have to go into the details of that,, i mean think about it, even if a couple doesnt talk to each other and all they do is have sex sex sex, do u think any of them will come out and say their relationship was solely based on sex nope, that should be personal business to u, atleast u can say something like "oh if thats what he wants, he is wasting his time" , i mean its just my opinion tho, sounds like u are trying too hard to let everyone know your relationship is not based on sex, which shudnt be the case)

im tired of typing, anyways, do what your mind tells u cus u still going to do so anyway, but u need to be very careful, i cant advise u not to see him becos from looks of things there is something u are really curious about in seeing him which i dont know, but watver it is, make sure that it is worth u makin a move like this, cus if u guys almost got married, im guessin u are in that stage in ur life where theres no time for games, and last thing u want to happen is for a guy to mislead u while u lose another promising guy in the process, think think think about it,

finally if u still like this guy, please stop wasting another mans time when u plan to do things like this behind him

wat a write up. is dat a case study thing cos i've neva seen writin like dis b4

yound_dige

U Try, i clap for u

But i just want you to know i'm not wasting anybody's time, and not all u think r true ok!

To everyone that has said something here, Thank you!

you are welcome

It depends on what causes the break up, but dear since you are into another relationship and u really care about this new guy, I will advice to please don’t try in cos If you do, you will fall into temptation. Am sure he is only planning to lure you back or something. Just let him go and face this new guy.

Sure,allow him now.

never can tell wat he's got 4 u.

young digi is indeed very YOUNG. what an epistle!

youg digi
well done