Use?
They were only fulfilling what the tradition requires for an elder.
Abandoning your family tell you how much your dad was actually valued.

Tonero5200:
No matter how useless a man is, once he dies the household of the family strength changes. It might not be financially rather emotionally and physically.

Here are my reasons

My dad is a man who drinks alot to the extend we the children are embarrassed for him because we can't go to functions he goes to... because as he goes, he comes back in a different way.

So we do everything possible to avoid where he is at, but on some occasions we cant..depends on how close the celebrant is. Then we bore it in mind that that day we might get to hear something that offends us.. the shame and embarrassment and might retaliate or ignore.


Being one of the senior men alive, they always come to pay homage everytime despite being the way he is..to settle dispute and to also pray for them.. and also tell them about history how we related and mention names of our forefathers, tracing back their Roots step by step..he knows all..because his father also told him. so they respect him for that as an elderly man even though dry gin is his best friend. all they can do was to talk and laugh behind his back. When he's sober they dare not make jest of him.
I repeat they dare not.


But now he's been dead about 4years ago and I tell you we that normally get the first invitation of marriage ceremony or any functions happening in the extended family no longer gets invited.

Nobody has come in to ask hwfar from us the children since he was buried. They see us as not important since the elderly man is no more.

Our family house that used to trooped in by different new faces almost every week don't see it no more


I am not talking about money here, I am good... But even if I don't have...my elder brother who is a graduate the back bone is there...but I am just stating the obvious fact...

THAT everybody has use no matter how useless you perceive them to be and one day you might get to realise that.


The thing is that during those period we don't even take it as anything. Instead we the children gets angry whenever they comes to inform him for a function because we know that week we will not sleep at night...but as it has its advantages so those it has it disadvantages.

Cruise777:



Africans tend to see alcoholics as a problem

However there are highly functional Alcoholics in the society

There are people who drink regularly and still function properly and there are people who drink and constituite nuisance



.

Your point is not the point the OP is making. Being an alcoholic is not a good thing it doesn't matter who is holding the bottle.

All life matters

U father was not useless, he simply had a drinking problem, yes it is embarrassing, but he was the eldest man in ur village n ur people respected his age n his truthfulness, not hiding any bad person, he was an elder that people could rely on to say the truth at all times, that y even with his drinking problem, people were always in ur house to see him for one thing or d other. Now u il understand his usefulness to ur village now that he is gone.

[quote author=malcom1X post=126602373]Shows you he was the one holding that family.

What you need now is to stand on your own and gain respect.

They only respected your father because he earned their respect. The focus is now on someone else now that he's dead.

What have you done to earn their respect? You don't expect them to come and pay homage to you or seek advice from you. Or is that what you want? Move on.

Bro you no lie oo...
Baba has done his own part e remain theirs

Op it's a reality of life.
So many people flock round your family not because of you but because they regard your parents as senior member of the family.

You don't expect an uncle 8 years older than you to give you much attention after your parents are gone. Rather they expect you to become the one seeking after them now, regardless of their financial status.

It's now up to you to know if you really want to do that.

Whatever the case,It's usually best to move on. That's life.

malcom1X:
Shows you he was the one holding that family.

What you need now is to stand on your own and gain respect.

They only respected your father because he earned their respect. The focus is now on someone else now that he's dead.

What have you done to earn their respect? You don't expect them to come and pay homage to you or seek advice from you. Or is that what you want? Move on.

Bros you no lie oo...
Baba has done his own part e remain theirs

Chai, this is exactly my own story... Unfortunately I later lost my Dad due to alchohol, till date I hate alcohol... And I know my dad was the best in the world if not for alcohol... Now he has made me premature elder by force, I am the first son and I carry the family in my little shoulder

Hmm

Tonero5200:
No matter how useless a man is, once he dies the household of the family strength changes. It might not be financially rather emotionally and physically.

Here are my reasons

My dad is a man who drinks alot to the extend we the children are embarrassed for him because we can't go to functions he goes to... because as he goes, he comes back in a different way.

So we do everything possible to avoid where he is at, but on some occasions we cant..depends on how close the celebrant is. Then we bore it in mind that that day we might get to hear something that offends us.. the shame and embarrassment and might retaliate or ignore.


Being one of the senior men alive, they always come to pay homage everytime despite being the way he is..to settle dispute and to also pray for them.. and also tell them about history how we related and mention names of our forefathers, tracing back their Roots step by step..he knows all..because his father also told him. so they respect him for that as an elderly man even though dry gin is his best friend. all they can do was to talk and laugh behind his back. When he's sober they dare not make jest of him.
I repeat they dare not.


But now he's been dead about 4years ago and I tell you we that normally get the first invitation of marriage ceremony or any functions happening in the extended family no longer gets invited.

Nobody has come in to ask hwfar from us the children since he was buried. They see us as not important since the elderly man is no more.

Our family house that used to trooped in by different new faces almost every week don't see it no more


I am not talking about money here, I am good... But even if I don't have...my elder brother who is a graduate the back bone is there...but I am just stating the obvious fact...

THAT everybody has use no matter how useless you perceive them to be and one day you might get to realise that.


The thing is that during those period we don't even take it as anything. Instead we the children gets angry whenever they comes to inform him for a function because we know that week we will not sleep at night...but as it has its advantages so those it has it disadvantages.

Did your dad have money? It appears he was respected only for his age. Now that he is dead someone else has replaced him.

Work hard and attain success, the people will return if that's what you are looking for. But remember your journey in life and that of your father are different, I'd would not touch alcohol with a 10foot pole if I were you.

Tonero5200:
No matter how useless a man is, once he dies the household of the family strength changes. It might not be financially rather emotionally and physically.

Here are my reasons

My dad is a man who drinks alot to the extend we the children are embarrassed for him because we can't go to functions he goes to... because as he goes, he comes back in a different way.

So we do everything possible to avoid where he is at, but on some occasions we cant..depends on how close the celebrant is. Then we bore it in mind that that day we might get to hear something that offends us.. the shame and embarrassment and might retaliate or ignore.


Being one of the senior men alive, they always come to pay homage everytime despite being the way he is..to settle dispute and to also pray for them.. and also tell them about history how we related and mention names of our forefathers, tracing back their Roots step by step..he knows all..because his father also told him. so they respect him for that as an elderly man even though dry gin is his best friend. all they can do was to talk and laugh behind his back. When he's sober they dare not make jest of him.
I repeat they dare not.


But now he's been dead about 4years ago and I tell you we that normally get the first invitation of marriage ceremony or any functions happening in the extended family no longer gets invited.

Nobody has come in to ask hwfar from us the children since he was buried. They see us as not important since the elderly man is no more.

Our family house that used to trooped in by different new faces almost every week don't see it no more


I am not talking about money here, I am good... But even if I don't have...my elder brother who is a graduate the back bone is there...but I am just stating the obvious fact...

THAT everybody has use no matter how useless you perceive them to be and one day you might get to realise that.


The thing is that during those period we don't even take it as anything. Instead we the children gets angry whenever they comes to inform him for a function because we know that week we will not sleep at night...but as it has its advantages so those it has it disadvantages.

Tears running down my cheeks

I lost my lovely Dad

biggy00000:
No matter how useless you are; you can still be used as a bad example

Guess this is OP point in a nutshell

Cruise777:


It's a forum for general discussion not your private social media and I can bet any amount you can't even stand in my presence to call me a kid

Moderation is a vague word, your moderation isn't my moderation

While I was in the Middle East everyone smoked and we took smoking break at work

In Nigeria smoking is so frowned upon

.

when u tink u know all, then u re liable to tall like a fuul..

Your dad united the family that's it!

Tonero5200:

You don't need to argue. Just admit you didn't read the post very well and understand the message I was trying to pass.

We are not suffering okay?
I am doing well for myself same with my older siblings.

what you must understand is that in most African societies including the igbos of the southeast,old age and experience is always appreciated and respected,despite that your father drinks a lot but he knows history and traditions that's why people still seek his advice about history and counsel,they will no longer come because he is dead and you the children cannot give such service,they will turn their attention to the next elder avalible that has such ability

okoroemeka:
what you must understand is that in most African societies including the igbos of the southeast,old age and experience is always appreciated and respected,despite that your father drinks a lot but he knows history and traditions that's why people still seek his advice about history and counsel,they will no longer come because he is dead and you the children cannot give such service,they will turn their attention to the next elder avalible that has such ability

Yes exactly.
Then we the children was just taking the respect they had for my dad for granted because it also refldcted on us. We didn't even take it as anything. Smile, now that he's gone..we got to understand that he mattered very much despite he drinking problem.

But a red piller has no friends

You Can't Go Far If You Don't Have This.

Apostle Joshua Selman.

Listen And Remain Blessed.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eClVB2a0Dmw?si=nOehwU0RtbhBK5s5

Cruise777:


An Average Russian is a regular alcoholic who is dependent on Vodka... Russia don't see that as a problem because they don't constituite nuisance after taking Vodka in moderation


Irish and Scottish Men on Average Consume more Beers, Stout, Whiskey daily even Americans

Try this is Nigeria and watch people start looking at you like sinner



.

What makes you an alcoholic is not dependent on the volume you take but the act you exhibit....

Tonero5200:
No matter how useless a man is, once he dies the household of the family strength changes. It might not be financially rather emotionally and physically.
.

Did you just imply that your dad was useless

The multiple abortions of your girlfriend doesn’t read like that of a useful man. Does it?

Tonero5200:
I don't know why I feel bad, but I do feel bad..I am human. She refused to give birth out of wedlock unless I go see her parents and do the necessary which is very okay by me, because I know I am not yet ready and where she's from I heard just the traditional rite alone can start a building foundation to lintel level...
we have tried breaking up because of this but one way or the other she still find her way back to me..My withdrawal game is good if not the count would have been more than that, but no matter how pro you are they must be some accidental discharge unknowingly most times.
I have advised her from the bottom of my heart because of the love we share that what she's doing it's not good and might affect her in the future with her family which might be me or some other guy. The thought of this is killing me and I am ready to call it off by the end of this month with no looking back.

Reminds me of a post my ex lecturer made when his dad passed away.

He said the man was a chronic alcoholic but that didn't deter him from showing him love.

That he usually buys beer for his Dad self just to make him happy.

He said one of the remarkable thing that made him earn his father's respect then was when his father went to his secondary school to ask how well he's faring academically and character wise. And to his amazement his father was told he's one of the best student in the school and when he got home his father called him and asked him if he feels ashamed of him being his father and he swore that he doesn't.

That was what changed his perception about his father. It cemented their relationship till the Dad later passed on.

[color=#990000][/color]

Tonero5200:
No matter how useless a man is, once he dies the household of the family strength changes. It might not be financially rather emotionally and physically.

Here are my reasons

My dad is a man who drinks alot to the extend we the children are embarrassed for him because we can't go to functions he goes to... because as he goes, he comes back in a different way.

So we do everything possible to avoid where he is at, but on some occasions we cant..depends on how close the celebrant is. Then we bore it in mind that that day we might get to hear something that offends us.. the shame and embarrassment and might retaliate or ignore.


Being one of the senior men alive, they always come to pay homage everytime despite being the way he is..to settle dispute and to also pray for them.. and also tell them about history how we related and mention names of our forefathers, tracing back their Roots step by step..he knows all..because his father also told him. so they respect him for that as an elderly man even though dry gin is his best friend. all they can do was to talk and laugh behind his back. When he's sober they dare not make jest of him.
I repeat they dare not.


But now he's been dead about 4years ago and I tell you we that normally get the first invitation of marriage ceremony or any functions happening in the extended family no longer gets invited.

Nobody has come in to ask hwfar from us the children since he was buried. They see us as not important since the elderly man is no more.

Our family house that used to trooped in by different new faces almost every week don't see it no more


I am not talking about money here, I am good... But even if I don't have...my elder brother who is a graduate the back bone is there...but I am just stating the obvious fact...

THAT everybody has use no matter how useless you perceive them to be and one day you might get to realise that.


The thing is that during those period we don't even take it as anything. Instead we the children gets angry whenever they comes to inform him for a function because we know that week we will not sleep at night...but as it has its advantages so those it has it disadvantages.

that is life,no one is unimportant,we r unique in different ways

seguno2:


Did you just imply that your dad was useless

no I did not, it just an illustration of trying to make a point.

Tonero5200:

Holding the family in terms of what?


My elder bro has been the one fending for us since 2009

He trained me to the stage I am now, while my father was just looking, drinking.

But hey if you say my father was still the one holding the family I agree but you have to be specific, because from your post it seems financially but it's not.

The point I am trying to make here is different.

Everyone is useful you might not know now, but when they are gone. You get to realise that

My only conclusion from this post is that "YOU CONCLUDED THAT YOUR FATHER WAS USELESS" to your family and the society but your big brother is even more valuable that your Dad. You didn't know your late Dad had any worth until 4 years after his death.

What do u want to be remembered for? Ur dad made a mark despite his short comings.
Calf out ur value so someday someone will remember to pay u courtesy call

Tonero5200:
No matter how useless a man is, once he dies the household of the family strength changes. It might not be financially rather emotionally and physically.

Here are my reasons

My dad is a man who drinks alot to the extend we the children are embarrassed for him because we can't go to functions he goes to... because as he goes, he comes back in a different way.

So we do everything possible to avoid where he is at, but on some occasions we cant..depends on how close the celebrant is. Then we bore it in mind that that day we might get to hear something that offends us.. the shame and embarrassment and might retaliate or ignore.


Being one of the senior men alive, they always come to pay homage everytime despite being the way he is..to settle dispute and to also pray for them.. and also tell them about history how we related and mention names of our forefathers, tracing back their Roots step by step..he knows all..because his father also told him. so they respect him for that as an elderly man even though dry gin is his best friend. all they can do was to talk and laugh behind his back. When he's sober they dare not make jest of him.
I repeat they dare not.


But now he's been dead about 4years ago and I tell you we that normally get the first invitation of marriage ceremony or any functions happening in the extended family no longer gets invited.

Nobody has come in to ask hwfar from us the children since he was buried. They see us as not important since the elderly man is no more.

Our family house that used to trooped in by different new faces almost every week don't see it no more


I am not talking about money here, I am good... But even if I don't have...my elder brother who is a graduate the back bone is there...but I am just stating the obvious fact...

THAT everybody has use no matter how useless you perceive them to be and one day you might get to realise that.


The thing is that during those period we don't even take it as anything. Instead we the children gets angry whenever they comes to inform him for a function because we know that week we will not sleep at night...but as it has its advantages so those it has it disadvantages.

That is what is called Nuisance value bro...

7upnigeria:


My only conclusion from this post is that "YOU CONCLUDED THAT YOUR FATHER WAS USELESS" to your family and the society but your big brother is even more valuable that your Dad. You didn't know your late Dad had any worth until 4 years after his death.

Well you could say that, but I really didn't think he was useless maybe that word was not the right one to use, I was just trying to make a quick point in my post. But you did get the point though that's what matters.

Bintabisiriyu2:

Then why did you write all that sheet up there?

This cracked me up

Lolz ...

NFBI:
I hope you won't take his alcohol gulping footstep