phorget:
Dont just send her to Nigeria but send her to a village where she will have to go to the farm,fetch water from the stream, cook with firewood, feel the bite of mosquitoes and tsetsefly, attend village schools and then learn your local language and culture. By the time she is done experiencing all these then she will become a changed person and beg you to come to her rescue.

What if she is innocent? Na allegations, frustrations that leads to her misbehavior?

God no go forgive u o

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

put her into deliverance. She needs to deliver from evil forces from her father’s house that overshadowed her. First you need to deal with her spiritual aspect before you go to physical aspect of her life.

Zupay:
You can't send her back to Nigeria, a girl for that matter. What excuse do you have to give to the management of the school she attends for withdrawing her? See you, see wahala.

I have a Ghanaian co-worker who told me he wanted to send her daughter who is 12 years old back to Ghana to finish secondary school and the daughter warned him if he should try making arrangements, she would inform her teacher, get social workers involved and if he forcefully wants to fly with her to Ghana, he would be arrested at the airport as her name will be on the immigration 's no fly list.

The moment you let the child know your plan, it will be very hard to execute.

Oga, fly with her for Easter. Do not tell her you are relocating her, just tell her Easter vacation and better still if her mother is on naija, to see her mum. Act friendly for the next few weeks, infact buy her things to make her happy. All na game plan.
Once you land in naija, just package her to babcock University secondary school at illusan, 35-40 mins drive form lagos. Boarding school where they will teach her manners, feed her, she will attend church, do prayers steadily etc. Sort of a slightly regimented lifestyle. She will also meet lots of her mates (abroadians) over there from UK, US etc. During vacations you can arrange for her to stay with relatives or she stays in the school, I think they have arrangements for that. I knew a London boy that was in jss1 with my boy, that London boy is now in 400 level in the the same babcock but now the university. Boy weh them send down to naija for misbehaving, now almost done with university. I remember that during vacations in the secondary school, he always remained when I picked my pikin. There are many of them like that.
Abeg package that you daughter sharp sharp, she will be sorted out.

Sit her down and talk to talk to her with love

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

You want to send her back to Nigeria on the advice of your second wife so that all your attention will be on herself and her own children abi ?

Keep simping mister man.

You want to send her to Nigeria where she will join cult and her situation becomes worse abi?

Your new wife will keep manipulating you until you make that most stupid decision of sending your first child away...

It's a good decision to bring her back to Nigeria for her studies at the boarding school. This will really help her learn discipline and other valuable lessons. Despite your love for her, please be patient with her adjustment. Once she completes her secondary and degree studies in Nigeria, if you see positive changes in her behavior, then consider taking her back to abroad again...

efemena5050:
All these over sabi trying to always sound intelligent and wise ...very annoying. U see where the oga say due to his work schedule he don't normally have time for the jezebel to be ......ur trying to discredit total summations of people .....here ....wetin u know?.....the man better send tht child back to Nigeria to face hardship either in a village school or command day school (army) where the oyinbo rubbish will ridden from her

She's not a Jezebel.

It's happening under his roof, under his care, meaning that he's the one nurturing it. Let him tell us more about his fatherhood and parenting, or does he only listen to the side of his new wife, the way men usually do, to the detriment of his child from another woman?

If it's your present wife child I believe she will manage the character and not subscribe to sending her child back to Nigeria.... Be rest assured for lifetime hatred from that little girl

khalifjgusau:
It's a good decision to bring her back to Nigeria for her studies at the boarding school. This will really help her learn discipline and other valuable lessons. Despite your love for her, please be patient with her adjustment. Once she completes her secondary and degree studies in Nigeria, if you see positive changes in her behavior, then consider taking her back to abroad again...

What if she becomes lesbian instead and continues as she is? He's far from the root cause.

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

Have gone through your previous post and saw that ur new wife don't love that girl.
Soo many complain from the new wife..

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

Where is her biological mother? You and her biological mother should train her. How did she know your current wife isn't her biological mother? Was she already understanding before you remarried? If it's that your current wife out of anger voiced it that she's not her mother and as a result maltreated her, then, you're both getting what you deserve. If your current wife had treated her as her own biological daughter, she would be more respectful to her. In all, one or both of you are at fault for revealing that information to her. You have to go back to the drawing board and treat/correct her in love. Make her feel she's part of the family. Don't let your wife prefer the other kids over her.

Wahala for who get pikin from multiple partners.

Truths9ja:
put her into deliverance. She needs to deliver from evil forces from her father’s house that overshadowed her. First you need to deal with her spiritual aspect before you go to physical aspect of her life.

What she doesn't get at home, she's looking for outside.

Parenting isn't about wanting to beat ones children and looking for drastic measures. She's a good girl parented wrong.

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

Pls don't send her to Nigeria. I went to one of the most expensive Nigerian schools and we had a lot of kids like this. They greatly influenced the rest of us. I guess by now you know your daughter is no longer a virgin. I would advise that you research on strict Catholic boarding schools wherever you're located. A school where she has to wear uniform and adhere to time structure. A school where academics are as exciting as Olympics. Now, teenagers will always be teenagers but your daughter feels like an outsider in your own home. This is the truth and she feels betrayed by you because of your new family. I know I don't have all the information but you need to see things from her perspective. She feels betrayed, that's why she threatens her step mother.
Pls take my advise. Otherwise your daughter could end up a teen mom or worse a drug addict lost in the world who doesn't want anything to do with her father. Did she grow up in Nigeria? Is her mother alive? How often does they speak? The boarding school, if possible let it be in England. Cheers

Also ensure her step brothers and sisters go to the same school subsequently. It would positively affect her feelings towards you. She'd know you didn't send her there because you or your wife hate her.

mysticwarrior:
For the next three weeks be nice to her, use a well planned deceptive strategy to coax her into thinking she is getting the best treatment from her dad. then tell her you are takimg her to Nigeria to attend a music concert in Nigeria.

Make her believe she would personally meet wiz kid, davido, tems, rema, burna boy and her favorites nigerian artists. You may choose to do this when it's close to her birthday period and make it appear as if you want to give her a good birthday present.

When she is finally in Nigeria take her to a village school where she won't have access to a phone and Internet, that way she won't be able to communicate with her former class mates in obodo oyibo to help her contact the British or American embassy for rescue operation.

Zupay:
You can't send her back to Nigeria, a girl for that matter. What excuse do you have to give to the management of the school she attends for withdrawing her? See you, see wahala.

I have a Ghanaian co-worker who told me he wanted to send her daughter who is 12 years old back to Ghana to finish secondary school and the daughter warned him if he should try making arrangements, she would inform her teacher, get social workers involved and if he forcefully wants to fly with her to Ghana, he would be arrested at the airport as her name will be on the immigration 's no fly list.

Lol! There are ways around this. Plan a summer trip back. She will start new calendar year. She's not a citizen so she cannot try any nonsense f going to the embassy.

No point leaving her anywhere. Nigeria now is not the same as yesteryear. Girls still spoil here but they just know how to hide it better.

In the spirit of Ndi Oyibo, you better get her to a therapist who can get to the root cause and change her from inside out.

By the way you never mentioned her educational abilities. Are you sure she doesn’t have issues with reading that are making her too ashamed to cry out for help?

I hope your wife is nice to her? I hope she doesn’t treat her differently from all your other kids, even when you’re not around?

many African women can’t even handle an afternoon with their niece without doing rubbish. I don’t think even me as an adult can stay somewhere when my mum is not there, let alone a 13 year old girl.

LagosG:

Pls don't send her to Nigeria to. I went to one of the most expensive Nigerian schools and we had a lot of kids like this. They greatly influenced the rest of us. I guess by now you know your daughter is no longer a virgin. I would advise that you research on strict Catholic boarding schools wherever you're located. A school where she has to wear uniform and adhere to time structure. A school where academics are as exciting as Olympics. Now, teenagers will always be teenagers but your daughter feels like an outsider in your own home. This is the truth and she feels betrayed by you because of your new family. I know I don't have all the information but you need to see things from her perspective. She feels betrayed, that's why she threatens her step mother.
Pls take my advise. Otherwise your daughter could end up a teen mom or worse a drug addict lost in the world who doesn't want anything to do with her father. Did she grow up in Nigeria? Is her mother alive? How often does they speak? The boarding school, if possible lt it be in England. Cheers

You're the only person here who knows what's wrong with her. She's not being treated fairly at home. So she's looking to be loved and accepted.

SpartaOfLagos:


You want to send her back to Nigeria on the advice of your second wife so that all your attention will be on herself and her own children abi ?

Keep simping mister man.

You want to send her to Nigeria where she will join cult and her situation becomes worse abi?

Your new wife will keep manipulating you until you make that most stupid decision of sending your first child away...

Are you from a polygamous family?

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

Send her back home to your family. Let her go to a good boarding school.

Maybe you should send her to another nation nearby other than Nigeria where law is not stringent on corporeal punishment of children if you have a friend or relative there.

/
She is a teenager. Keep talking to her. That’s what parents do. Parenting is not a walk in the park.

Sending her to Nigeria is converting her to a hookup girl. Don’t even think about it.

:

TheWinterBird:
13 is a sensitive age. If she's acting out, it's because she's not happy. At 13, she's going through lots of hormonal changes (e.g. puberty) , so that alone can cause behavioral changes. Besides physiological factors, environmental factors (home and school) must be contributing to her unhappiness. How is her school life: is she being teased or bullied? How is her home life: do you treat her differently than her siblings (e.g. favoritism)?, how is her relationship with her stepmom?, how about her mom - does she keep in touch with her?

Everyone is shouting send her back to Nigeria, but don't do that, as you're going to create more disruption in her life. Try and get her into therapy/counseling and have her pour her mind using the above questions, preferably via a trained professional (e.g. Psychologist, Therapist). With the right help, she will change.

Best comment so far.

Use GOD IS GOOD transport asapu

phorget:
Dont just send her to Nigeria but send her to a village where she will have to go to the farm,fetch water from the stream, cook with firewood, feel the bite of mosquitoes and tsetsefly, attend village schools and then learn your local language and culture. By the time she is done experiencing all these then she will become a changed person and beg you to come to her rescue.

No boys in the village, right? Punishing life will correct her... Or make her deeply resentful and evil.

Why should she endure that while the children from his next wife live in relative comfort? Sounds like child abuse.

phorget:
Dont just send her to Nigeria but send her to a village where she will have to go to the farm,fetch water from the stream, cook with firewood, feel the bite of mosquitoes and tsetsefly, attend village schools and then learn your local language and culture. By the time she is done experiencing all these then she will become a changed person and beg you to come to her rescue.

This will humble her and will change her perspective for good as she will come down from her high horse attitude as there are many not as privileged as her but still happy.

phorget:
Dont just send her to Nigeria but send her to a village where she will have to go to the farm,fetch water from the stream, cook with firewood, feel the bite of mosquitoes and tsetsefly, attend village schools and then learn your local language and culture. By the time she is done experiencing all these then she will become a changed person and beg you to come to her rescue.

Omo the speed at which she go use better go shock everybody. This method na sure banker.!!

BRATISLAVA:


What she doesn't get at home, she's looking for outside.

Parenting isn't about wanting to beat ones children and looking for drastic measures. She's a good girl parented wrong.

yes , you may be right. The point here’s that her dad is hiding secret things from his daughter.

If you have a discipline and trustworthy family in Nigeria that you know can look after her then it worth sending her home to finish her high school.

After high school, you can relocate her back to reunite with you so she can go for her college over there.

An alternative is to talk to her biological mom, and see if she could help.

@mrperfecto

Don’t send her to just any boarding school . If it must be to a boarding school , then I’ll suggest a command school. And get the school authorities to ensure they correct her ways . But what I would do is not let her know my plans, not even my wife . I would suggest we go to Nigeria for Easter , if you still have parents , let her live with them . Explain the situation as well , deprive her of access to excess funds . Let her get involved in chores , let her be engaged in a skill acquisition scheme , enroll her in a disciplined school either missionary or military , not a private school or government school . My opinion .

phorget:
Dont just send her to Nigeria but send her to a village where she will have to go to the farm,fetch water from the stream, cook with firewood, feel the bite of mosquitoes and tsetsefly, attend village schools and then learn your local language and culture. By the time she is done experiencing all these then she will become a changed person and beg you to come to her rescue.

best advice I have read so far.

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

Your decision is good but the issue is how will you convince your mature 13 year old daughter to travel to Nigeria with you without her suspecting you have a sinister plan?


If you guys had been visiting Nigeria often before now, it would have been easy as you could have done this under the guise of normal vacation to Nigeria and she wouldn't suspect you but right now, that your daughter won't agree to follow you to Nigeria and if you dare to force her she will most likely call the Police on you and that will be otilor for you lolz



That is why it is always advisable to be taking your kids to Nigeria if you live abroad or to your hometown if you live in Nigeria once in a while; like once every 2 or 3 years is good so they will not forget their root.



My son that is not yet 4 always remember and talk about his last visit to the village with so much fun and excitement to my joy. He can't stop talking about the masquerades he saw, and because of that he and his younger sister are always searching for masquerade dance on youtube to watch. In fact they now enjoy watching masquerade dance on YouTube more than their usual carton characters lol




But if by any means you succeed in convincing your daughter to travel with you to Nigeria, the best idea would be to keep her with your close married sibling with kids, let her attend a private school but not boarding. she should be going from home and inform your sibling to please put an eye on her and it will be better in the hands of your married sister with kids so she can discipline her.



Your wife must have contributed to her bad behavior based on how she maltreated her while growing up; I say this because majority of Nigerian married women mistreat any child that is not their biological child, it is their norm and it is very sad of our Nigerian women, I always wonder why our women are that evil minded towards children that are not their biological children