Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

If you can put a secret camera in your house that can record both audio and video, monitor what transpires between she and your wife while you are usually away because I don't trust women with children not their own. Her rebellion is likely because of discrimination she has noticed between the treatment her step mother gives to her and the one she gives to her half siblings especially while you are away . She now develops jealousy that her own biological mother is supposed to be your wife because obviously she wasn't getting the full mother daughter vibe with your wife. She needs a lot of love at home to make up for the absence of her own biological mother not harsh treatment. If a child doesn't get the full love at home, she is likely going to start looking for it outside and it is the fake love that young boys and Adult Predators offers that she is going to use to compensate the lack of home love

BRATISLAVA:


He should address his own behavior if he wants to change hers.

He sounds like her. Children are good learners.

However, don't you see that his words stemmed from a mix of anger, frustration, and fear regarding his daughter's troubling behavior, indicating a potential danger to her parents in the near future?

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

It sounds like a complex situation, and it's understandable that you and your wife are feeling overwhelmed. Sending her to a boarding school in Nigeria may not necessarily solve the underlying issues and could potentially strain your relationship with her further.

Instead, consider seeking professional help. Family therapy or counseling could provide a safe space for everyone to express their feelings and concerns. A therapist can also help identify the root causes of your daughter's behavior and work towards finding constructive solutions.

Additionally, open communication is key. Try to have honest and non-confrontational conversations with your daughter about her behavior, concerns, and feelings. Show her love and support while setting clear boundaries and expectations.

It's important to address any underlying issues and work together as a family to find a resolution that ensures the well-being of everyone involved.

Three things:
1. I can recommend a good boarding school such that you wouldn't need to worry about leaving her alone. They build kids morally, academically and spiritually.
Note: Very Very expensive

2. If you can afford the above, let her stay with a trusted and disciplined family member of yours which can help you watch over ur child like theirs.

3. Send him to me, you will like it afterwards.

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

I no get any experience here o, I no get family of my own or don even leave Nigeria but I want to say that if you send her away, she might grow up to resent you, your wife and her siblings. She's trapped to, she's acting out and needs guidance.

On your part, be available and talk with her without prejudice, remind her where you are from. Pray for her too..

Nigeria isn't like before, she might get worse here, children don rotten, 12,13,14 years dey fcckk like mad now.

Abeg find a good Christan camp or similar camps that will her help over there.

You sef, check your wife if she dey dey biased towards her at home, might be inform of spiteful comments or general treatment.
Nigerian mum's aren't the best stepmom most of the time

Please don't send her away.

Zupay:


Na yarn abi, send the pikin go rural school, make we how social workers go allow you live comfortably, e sure me die say dem go first suspend you from work, begin interrogating your wife and other children, pray make ur wife no go fold and tell dem say she no agree with you take una pikin go village but you insisted, u and dat your wife and other children no go live inside the same house again because social workers go tag you a danger to your family.....u think say na 9ja u dey?

Oga leave story, no be only U dey obod oyinbo.
Lots of Pakistani and Somali are sending their wayward kids back home and nothing dey happen.
Somalia is worse, they send those kids to an islamic school where they are forced to learn the Koran and there's corporal punishment for disobedience.
These british Somali kids have cried out for help taya. They contacted friends in UK, schools and even British embassy.
UK govt no send, wetin be there own. Send special forces to Somalia for rescue operation?
The stubborn kids remain incarcerated in Somalia and lives goes on for their family in UK.
In case u don't know, UK govt no regard all u ethnic minorities as citizens, they just gave u Pali for political correctness.
U better don't have a bloated delusion of who U think U are to British govt or else U will be disappointed.
The op should send the rebellious daughter back home if necessary, heaven won't fall.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/global-development/2023/mar/12/somali-rehab-re-education-camps-where-children-are-locked-up-beaten-and-abused

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. [/b]We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.
[b]
My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. [/b]We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. [b]If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

I was going to be quick like others to say "send her back!" but as a father of 2 teenagers, I have highlighted the bolded. OP, I hope you see this but I have a few questions for you: Is she being treated equally and fairly like her half siblings, you and your wife (step mom)? Is there a reason why she doesn't want to be in the house more than is necessary? Why does she not misbehave when you are around? Is it always every other person's word against hers? I'm not saying she doesn't need to be disciplined o, don't get me wrong. She's at an age where her body is changing, more attention from her mates who are the opposite sex, confused, etc.
The bolded parts are clear signs she's rebelling against something or it could be nothing. It's up to you as her father to find out.
If something happens to her whether you hit her or not, it still comes back to you as parents.

Hmm An opportunity some people are looking for, small pikin want throw away.

Oga use love o... Her behavior has a root cause, she is acting out in protest to something. Find out what is feeding her behavior before she is damaged for good

Reach out to me and I will advise you on the school to send her to. You will thank me.

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys.
Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

Please don't let her know your intentions. Just pet her to trip.
Take other kids along with you so she'll feel comfortable.
Land in Nigeria and when leaving to bring her back abroad.

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

U no well.

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

Pls take style and put her in boarding school in Nigeria. Find a trusted relative to be taking care of her during holidays. IF NOT SHE WILL SEND YOU PACKING. Somebody very close is influencing her

phorget:
Dont just send her to Nigeria but send her to a village where she will have to go to the farm,fetch water from the stream, cook with firewood, feel the bite of mosquitoes and tsetsefly, attend village schools and then learn your local language and culture. By the time she is done experiencing all these then she will become a changed person and beg you to come to her rescue.

Read his other thread and understand the origin. Look for my comment at the end of that thread . Peace

Didi2d:
Well, few people with similar issues that I heard of made arrangement and send their kid back to Nigeria and I think that's the best solution for now.

Most importantly, bringing her home will not only reset and change her mentality, but it will also expose her to the culture and beauty of being an African.

Bringing her Nigeria is not to punish her, but to make her understand the African culture of showing respect to parents and people around us.

But please do a little more investigation why she behaves how she does, but if you think you've studied her enough, please bring her home to finish her secondary education

I like your submission a lot...

Oga you have to man up o, 13 year old gal just entering puberty is when the raging hormones and rebelliousness starts, she needs proper parental attention not sending her to naija and boarding school to make it another person's problem, girl for that matter?, dude are you crazy?, abeg uncle, nurture your child, work less or fix your work schedule to fit around your children o, i went to boarding school, I'm in my 40s and im still unlearning and healing from all that trauma. Please ehn, don't make the naija child mistake,nobody can care for a child like the parents, you'll just be exposing the young lady to all sorts. Let's be sensible abeg. Shalom!!

Zupay:
You can't send her back to Nigeria, a girl for that matter. What excuse do you have to give to the management of the school she attends for withdrawing her? See you, see wahala.

I have a Ghanaian co-worker who told me he wanted to send her daughter who is 12 years old back to Ghana to finish secondary school and the daughter warned him if he should try making arrangements, she would inform her teacher, get social workers involved and if he forcefully wants to fly with her to Ghana, he would be arrested at the airport as her name will be on the immigration 's no fly list.

That kind of thing, the girl would not be told anything beforehand na. She will just find herself at the airport one day and off she goes back to Nigeria.

Ishilove:

So the child will now dictate to the parents how she should be raised? Just imagine the guts on that little kid. That's what you get in a system that mollycoddles bad behaviour.

Mollycoddle... I like the sound. Adding to my list. 👍

khalifjgusau:


However, don't you see that his words stemmed from a mix of anger, frustration, and fear regarding his daughter's troubling behavior, indicating a potential danger to her parents in the near future?

A man threatening to beat his daughter so badly that the authorities will take her away?

He's allowed to be frustrated. But then he sounds like someone who isn't ready to see where he went wrong, as a perfect person, or talk to his own child reasonably. If he's been threatening her, it's only going to make her worse.

He's still besotted with his new wife. Anything she says goes. His priorities don't lie with this daughter. That's the cause of his problem with her.

Sending her to Nigeria is a good one but not a boarding school. She can stay with your trusted relatives or friends that will monitor her daily activities. Enroll her in a day school. She is old enough to begin chores. She wakes early, cleans, if there are younger children she bathes them before leaving for school.
I had someone who did same to their child,. By the time the parents came home, boy was a changed fellow. He knew how to speak local dialect , respectful, does chores n was submissive unlike the rude fellow that previously existed.

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

I was sent back to Nigeria just this way. Your story was my father's story.

But i was given to my aunt in Ajegunle and the old man cut off all communication with me for years. That's how i grew up on the streets of Ajegunle the worst slum in Lagos and the whole Nigeria. I suffered as the only aje-butter speaking oyibo on those streets. Some of the scars i carry today came from wounds i got defending myself. The worst is a big knife scar on my right arm.

Na so my eye clear and my character changed. No be magic na life happen.

Send your daughter back here but give her to a very poor relative with instructions to be strict... not boarding school or she's gone.

But if you must use a boarding school go for a strict Christian school and just hope for the best.


Good luck

Confirm. quote author=brain54 post=128613329]All these people saying...

Send her back to Nigeria. If the girl was living with her biological mother would it be so easy to do?

Oga OP you better find a way to manage your child's juvenile delinquency. Sending her away or running will not solve the problem.

No one will take care of your biological child better than you.

Let her be under your watchful eyes and try to understand the reason for her actions.

Keep talking to her with love! [/quote]

A glance at your previous topics, your wife has not been fair to your daughter and you've not managed the situation well enough. This is the kid reacting to all the pent-up rage she's had all these years.

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

Your child needs a therapist or rather a counselor so that you don't think I am suggesting she has mental health issues. A counselor is someone she can build trust and rapport with, who can then give her good advice plus practical steps. You as the parent are supposed to be this person but you and your wife have bleeped it up somehow so she can't trust either of you to tell you what is really bothering her. Get her the help she needs before she comes home with unplanned pregnancy or worse gets herself in a life threatening situation.

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

Send her back? As per Nigeria is a rehabilitation centre or a dumping ground? Reform her there or the streets may help you here. Nigeria is a mezz now.

Zupay:


Na yarn abi, send the pikin go rural school, make we how social workers go allow you live comfortably, e sure me die say dem go first suspend you from work, begin interrogating your wife and other children, pray make ur wife no go fold and tell dem say she no agree with you take una pikin go village but you insisted, u and dat your wife and other children no go live inside the same house again because social workers go tag you a danger to your family.....u think say na 9ja u dey?

People have been doing it ask People How they do it. There is always a way out. He is not the first to send a child back.

Let her go to a good day school here in Nigeria. She should stay with a relative who can curb her excesses as well.

BRATISLAVA:


Secrets like the woman he's living with isn't her mother? Maybe he fought to "collect my child from her mother, it's my child"?

yes, and also there’s no much love between the new wife and her children with the husband daughter in the family. The write up of the man shows there’s no cordial relationship with the new daughter in the family.

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

Is she lightskin??

It’s a part of growing up. Since the reactions seem to be directed at your wife, that tells you she’s probably longing for her own mother.

I might be wrong.

Anyway, a change of environment and realities would certainly help. Just choose the new environment wisely.

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

Truths9ja:
yes, and also there’s no much love between the new wife and her children with the husband daughter in the family. The write up of the man shows there’s no cordial relationship with the new daughter in the family.

Why choosing his new wife over his own child? Why can't he find a middle ground?

Clearly this is his plan on evicting his daughter to please his new wife, without a care in the world what happens to her next. He just wants her off his hands. His new children are his only priority. He needs advice so that he can kill his conscience and do what she asked him to.

Mrperfecto:
I will just be brief without writing too much.

We are based we have 4 children, my first child is 13 from my previous relationship, she has become very terrible, she doesn't listen to me or my wife. She tells her that she is not her biological mother and she cannot control her. She had threatened to call the police on my wife telling her if she touch her she will fight her back and call the police. She goes to school and closes at 3.45 her school is 10 mins walk from home, but she is always late for home.

She comes home around 6 sometimes 7pm , as I am writing now every friday she closes at 12.30 but she is still hasn't come back home yet.

I am on my way to work. I start at 6.30pm till 2.30am so I rarely get to see her and she only misbehaving when I am not around. So far we have seized her phone because we had found so many inappropriate messages exchanges between her and boys. We had also removed the TV from her room and her behaviour has gotten worse. She is behaving like she's possessed.

My wife and I are fed up. Even her siblings are tired of her. We want to send her back to Nigeria maybe in a boarding school until she is 18 in order to protect her younger ones. If we keep her and she continues with her terrible behaviour I may beat her badly and we may end up loosing all 4 children to the authorities.

Please what advice will you give to me concerning this issue?

Where is her biological mother?