pretydiva:

God bless you for this beautiful post

That person you quoted is wrong. In marriage, you can struggle and put in your best and If your partner is a selfish narcissist for example, you get nothing out.

Namaster:
1. Sex plummets.

2. Familiarity abounds and contempt follows.

3. Rebellion to prove you are not the boss of her is not unheard of.

4. You could end up raising the bastards of her boss, coworker or ex.

5. More responsibility, FEWER appreciation.

6. Unlimited entitlement.

7. Her family problem is yours to bear and your family should DISAPPEAR.

8. You will NEVER win another argument.

9. You are ALWAYS wrong.

10. You slave and slave and slave for her pleasure.

😁

Rokiat:

You get what you put in.

Rokiatu, dey there dey whine yourself.
I put in trouble, I get double trouble abi?
If I put in money, why she no double the money.

Offpointng:


You give woman millions of sperm and she gives you just a kid.

You're pointless

We need a laugh emoji on Nairaland @seun

FuckYeyeMods:
That spouse you think you know, might not actually be what you think.

now this is mad!..how can you know someone that you met after they have lived 25-40years of their lives... Also you cannot ascertain the kind of beings they are going to evolve to in their 35-55years..

Rokiat:

You get what you put in.

Dey decieve yourself there

drlateef:



You don’t have the experience, do you? 😂😂😂. Let the grandmasters talk😂😂😂. You don’t get to hear that much as the marriage progresses no doubt. The men become more practical with that word “love”, while the women always want to hear it being said. Otherwise you are not romantic.

I don't have to experience it, there is enough to see around

ifyain:
The only good thing that come out of marriage is kids. it only benefits women. it is even difficult to get quality companionship in marriage.

ever wondered why women (in marriage) constantly refer to their kids as "her kids...just like in dating, men dey find sincere love women dey play serious survival games without rules and sportsmanship..lol...your marriage to her doesnt change a thing about her being a woman...women don dey run men street tey tey no be today... Who wan companion you?? Dey play...

labake1:


I don't have to experience it, there is enough to see around

You are right, we live in the age of information where a 20yrs old can have more information than a 70year old on an issue.
Also, the saying "experience is the beat teacher" does not neccessary have to be your own personal experience.

Caleycash:
Rubbish Analogy... most women out there are manipulative and 419!, never seen any woman add any damn value to a man in reality, it's always give me and receiving, please stop posting lies and nonsense here!

even after the endless givings expect vigourous disrespect and disregard...women feel like they deserve a trophy when they insult and disrespect a man...

kalufelix:
now this is mad!..how can you know someone that you met after they have lived 25-40years of their lives... Also you cannot ascertain the kind of beings they are going to evolve to in their 35-55years..

My friend! There are too many pressure in marriage.
Marriage is a very crazy experience....
Marriage is a very terrible experience you have to be mute about...
Marriage is damaging if you become unlucky with a spouse...
No oneness in marriage, your spouse can sell you out at any giving time.
Marriage should be a contract thing by default but since religion frown at contract marriage, then we have no options.
80% of couple are living terribly together, but just keep pushing on because of the kids. That why couple resort to infidelity which often times worsen the situation.
Hence, couple should not divulge too many secrete to each other because they're not one.
Men mostly don't have problem but women are mostly the architect of bad and failed marriage.

Rokiat:

You get what you put in.

What a dumb take. Would have been disappointed if you had anything meaningful to say. Banza!

UselessBuharist:


May be the OP had me in mind before making this post, the same thought was running through my head from last night till the minute I saw this post on front page.

Is marriage really for me? Dem never born the woman wey fit handle me, one mistake I just want to take a walk at that point I don’t care about my investment in the relationship, I won’t compromise my time for any woman, I believe money can solve anything, pride will never allow me say sorry if I’m wrong and for the same pride I don’t forgive misconduct in a relationship. I’ve trust issues and many more


I think I’ll be the problem in my marriage

Very great introspection.

If more people did this before marriage, we would have less problems in it.

emkz:
My submission is that some people are hyper-competitive in marriages without understanding that they are one. Other issues include finance (THE BIGGEST ISSUE), lack of understanding and lack of sensitivities to each other's needs; mutual disrespect, family interference, laxity (I don marry so no need to try again to renew our love), peer pressure, and lack of friendship.

I think there is no manual for marriage. The only thing I can ask is that the foundation must be strong, genuine and mutual. Then there must be a consciousness to put in the work to make it succeed.

sweetkev:
But men are more afraid of the stigma the society would give them by remaining single for life. Only strong men don't care.

Men know that marriage (at least from a religious POV) is a system created for them.

That's why they whine & wail about it, complain that it doesn't favour them, whine how women are now useless.... yet would quickly remarry after a divorce or death.

Taiwo20:
Freedom gone.

Stay safe and stay alive.

Freedom to do what exactly?

komzy589:

Stop kidding yourself and accepting vegetable status because you’re married.
Pride represents one’s dignity and self respect.
You lose your pride, you lose everything.

Does this also apply to women?

The poster said he knows his pride is a weakness; the Bible says 'pride goes before a fall'. Yet you want to help him justify pride.

Keep at it.

komzy589:

9 out of 10 times, any man who’s desperately pushing for other men to get married is in a terrible marriage.

Caleycash:
Rubbish Analogy... most women out there are manipulative and 419!, never seen any woman add any damn value to a man in reality, it's always give me and receiving, please stop posting lies and nonsense here!

Eyah! Sorry that
1. There is no woman of value in your lineage
2. You are so mentally poor that the only thing of value to you is money.

It is well with you.

BornToSucced:
This month is my one year wedding anniversary, and I feel i should share my experience thus far, especially for the benefits of other young guys who are eager to follow my path.

The summary of my advice is: what you get out of your marriage revolves around the kind of spouse you end up with. As they say, garbage in, garbage out.

In my case, I have no regret thus far. Sex is great: I sleep better and eat healthy now. No unnecessary spending of money on Lagos broke-ass slay queens. Overall, the benefits far outweigh the demerits.

However, to enjoy the listed benefits above, I have dedicated and sacrificed my time, and intentionally made every effort to ensure my marriage is not a living hell.

As a retired fuc*k boy, I can tell you for free, sleeping with countless women is a highway to the grave. There is nothing to gain in it, not even a trophy. I have been there, done 3sum, and done crazy stuff just for fun. As certificate of achievement, I bagged a Baby Mama

But nothing can be compared to the peace, love, and joy I now enjoy, through Christ who brought me out of darkness

Great Post!

I wish you more years of bliss!

Dshocker:


So indirectly you are confirming to us that women can be devils at times?

She is directly telling you that if you get a devil, then you molded her.

Well, only a devil can mold one innit?

livinbygrace:
That marriage is designed to favor women.To young men out there,dont ever rush into marriage and if you want to marry,marry someone that is supportive and comes from good family.
Dont ever marry liability,dont marry a jobless woman,dont marry out of pity.
If its not 60/40 forget it.
NO PITY IN MARRIAGE OO

I believe 60/40 is in terms in financials.

Do you also share the chores 60/40? Childcare 60/40? Running of the home 60/40?

76RebelMoney:


Why won't you get problems when you get married if a little thing such as what I typed ticked you off like this?
To unnecessarily insult someone?
you won't have a great marriage or your marriage would probably be a rocky one if you continue like this.
Mend your character, change your way of life,accept Christ as lord and give your life to God and he will guide you with the wisdom and discernment necessary to lead a life that will make you know well enough for a good marriage.

76RebelMoney:

I'm not pushing anyone to get married but my annoyance is that men will live reckless lives,sleep with many women before they get married, not mend their character, not work on themselves deliberately and see how to improve their personality and way of life and yet when they get married,they start complaining that things aren't going well. They look at women as the problem,which is true many times but they forget that they have themselves to work on first.

76RebelMoney:

Sister,leave them.
Men now are becoming crybabies.
Women do painful stuff to men.
Men do likewise.

I thought women were the only devil's.

But again, the thread sounds like a whinning outlet for men.

If it is therapeutic and makes them feel heard, we are happy to oblige.

Idaytesj29:


Who told her we want kids? With all these wahalas, let's dissolve everything. Return our sperm, take your eggs. We dey do again. Make everyone go their separate ways. Our peace of mind and personal space as a man now very important.

Women wahala and lack of appreciation is too much. They only need us to foot their bills. That's why when they have no need for your financial backing, no matter how sweet you are, you go collect.

They are loyal to their emotions and this emotions is highly erratically unstable. Men run oooo.

@bold:

That is for a man whose only value is money.

No character, no fidelity, no emotional support, no contribution to raising the kids, no sexual fulfillment, no social connection, no affection etc.

Some women a single married women that if they can make up the money their husbands provide, they would very fine on their own.

Women who can fund themselves get married. The question is why?

Idaytesj29:


You are still new in this tricky journey, one year and you are dropping advice? Are you kidding me right now?

You have to be atleast 5 years before you can drop a piece of advice.

But if he said he had a terrible experience, he wouldn't have to wait 5 years before sharing right?

He has said so far, so good.

We will urge him on with more blessings.

bukatyne:




But if he said he had a terrible experience, he wouldn't have to wait 5 years before sharing right?

He has said so far, so good.

We will urge him on with more blessings.

It's good he has a good experience and he shared. But he should keep it at that, enjoy the butterfly 🦋 moments. After 5 years, then he has reached level to start dropping advice.

bukatyne:


@bold:

That is for a man whose only value is money.

No character, no fidelity, no emotional support, no contribution to raising the kids, no sexual fulfillment, no social connection, no affection etc.

Some women a single married women that if they can make up the money their husbands provide, they would very fine on their own.

Women who can fund themselves get married. The question is why?

Even with men who provides all that and is a sweet partner, there is still no guarantee that he won't collect.

If a man has all you listed and has zero money, he go collect, if he has money and does not measure up in those areas you listed, e go still collect, if he has the two, there is no guarantee that he won't collect, he could be termed boring and collect as result.

bukatyne:


Does this also apply to women?

The poster said he knows his pride is a weakness; the Bible says 'pride goes before a fall'. Yet you want to help him justify pride.

Keep at it.

The Bible is not a dictionary.

bukatyne:


Eyah! Sorry that
1. There is no woman of value in your lineage
2. You are so mentally poor that the only thing of value to you is money.

It is well with you.

There's no woman of value anywhere in terms of money, all women wants to receive and receive all the time, you can deny it BTW, it's lots of women nature to be delusional so I'm not surprised, lastly you said I'm mentally poor by thinking money is the only thing of value to me but you tied your number 1 reply to same money??, Hahaha, if money is not valued than any other thing on earth Nairaland won't be existing, Dangote and the rest of the elites won't be competing for the richest men in the business world, now who's mentally poor again?, most definitely YOU!

kalufelix:
even after the endless givings expect vigourous disrespect and disregard...women feel like they deserve a trophy when they insult and disrespect a man...

Seriously very funny and weird gender!