Your good intentions are well noted Adeniyi83.
And I wonder whether apologising is necessary. If it was an Igbo lady who treated you that way, you have every right to narrate your experience. It would take only somebody who is in the tribalsitic mode to conclude that you yourself were being tribalistic by mentioning the tribe.

Sorry if i keep on using the word tribe. It's driving me nuts as well!

I think that we Nigerians should begin to talk with each other a lot more openly about issues and stop burying them. Ethnocentricism is one of our MAJOR problems and as long as we refuse to discuss it without resorting to primitive prejudices(something one poster described as primordial insticts), then the things that ferment tribalstic sentiments won't go away,

But that for me raises a very important question;
Can somebody be "proud" of their ethnic group, while NOT being a tribalist?

In other words, if i am proud to be a Gwari man, would somebody who doesn't like the GWARI's then assume that I am a tribalist for being proud of my heritage?

I hope people understand what i mean;
Do I, because I am NIGERIAN, stop being GWARI or is it alright for me to be proudly GWARI, but also passionately de-tribalised?

I-man:

The Mother Of All Ironies!

Quote from fesse


fesse (f)
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  Re: Why Are Nigerians So Tribalistic?
« #18 on: Today at 03:01:53 PM » 

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I am the number one person that hate that word tribalism, it doesnt make a nation to grow, but well yorubas are good in tribalism.

In my working place, there is this yoruba guy saying that he will never in his life marry an outsider unless yoruba claiming to come from a royal family.

yorubas like claiming royal family and don't friend or marry outside yoruba land. the same also happen during my services year. so i will not blame in her choice of the relationship she wants but will blame for not talking to the guy, that one is racism




@Fesse

Did you really think before you wrote your entry?   I think your post here is the most intriguing of the lot.  This is because you represent the true "Nigerian" who never acknowledges what he or she is but often shows what he or she is as soon as the mouth is opened.  Way to go!  It is good to know that you hate the word "tribalism"  But from one yoruba guy in your office you can make your experimental final conclusion on all "yorubas". Good job!  Thanks for the enlightening differentiation between "tribalism and racism".  I owe you one.

@Topic
Because we are made that way.  The larger the tribe, the more tribalistic it is.  Go figure!!!!

Why Are Nigerians So Tribalistic? How?

anyway i can see it's going on here in Nairaland.

@ Topic

Thaat is the root of our disunity.

And the ultimate cause of our "collective destruction"!

@Feese,

Na wa o! But what gives you the idea that because one Yoruba man says he cannot marry from another ethnic group, therefore all or most Yoruba men feel the same way? Haven't you seen other Yoruba men that married  outside their ethnic group? I know about 8 of them in my office, that got married to women from different parts of Nigeria. One actually married a Birom lady from Benue state last christmas. Their wedding was fun!!

Look, it all depends on the individual's perspective. My own creed is simple: Find out what works for you & stick with it. I have seen folks come from the same village, get married and end up in an acrimonious divorce three years down the line. It also works the other way, too. Like I said before, it all depends on the individual.

@beneli,

Nigerians are criminals and are into 419.
Jamaicans are drug dealers.
Whites are racists.
Igbos love money too much
Yorubas are cowards.
Hausas are illiterate,

The above generalizations were not picked from the sky; wen a huge fraction of a certain group are seen to act in a certain way it's only natural to form an opinion; it's a form of learning! while it's wrong to claim every member of the group is that way It makes you cautious! @ d beginning of my career I faced a lot of "she's a woman we don't want her on this team" simply because other women try to escape calls, theatre days and actually leave clinic sessions because "they have to go take care of their husbands and babies"
I am not a tribalist but when somebody is from another tribe I am more cautious till they prove otherwise!!!!!!!!

@doctor B

its a shame u have gone down the same route white people are trying to come out of.

STEREOTYPING,

IN this day and age when people are talking about equality and respect, someone is still being driven along the lines of ethnicity and segregation. Poor you!
you don't know how many good opportunities you'll miss by judging 'a book by its cover'.

people learn from the environment where they grow up therefore, it is WRONG to attribute a characteristic to a tribe because in THIS CENTURY, people migrate.

I am not sure you live in your village.

@doctor b
And if the person is from your own tribe you embrace them with open arms without any reservations?
So for you the rule is:

Other tribes: guilty until proven innocent.
Your own tribe: Innocent until proven guilty

Now lets look at a scenario:
You are in a position of power and two people are applying for a job, or whatever, that you have the power to grant.
One of them is from your tribe and the other from another tribe, possibly one that you've heard so many bad stories about.
Who would you employ?
I don't need to be clairvoyant to know your answer!

Now is this not the same scenario replaying, like a broken record, everyday ad nauseatum in Nigeria? It may feel alright if you're a beneficiary, but what of when you are the victim?

What does it really matter, you may ask?
For the answer, look at what Nigeria has become, in spite, of all her potentials,

No my sister, i am trying very hard to agree with you that you are not a tribalist, but its proving too difficult for me,

@beneli

don't worry yourself. she knows where she stands on this issue

Tribalism started from our uneducated/educated fore fathers. the yorubas will warn their children against the igbos with terrible storries about them, the igbo's will do same against the hausas and so on and that was how it ate dip into our blood
Solution: Encourage intertribal marriages, this will in turn give offsprings broader chances to mix with relations from two/more different tribes that way tribalism might be reduced in the nearest future
i'm mixed, Kogi&Delta and am married to Yoruba i must confess i dont have any trait of tribalism in me cos i have cousins all over the country being that most of my mumsi's sisters married other tribes like Yoruba,Ibo,Rivers etc so i got cousins inlaws from all over so tell me HOW CAN I BE TRIBALISTIC

jjuummaaii:

Tribalism started from our uneducated/educated fore fathers. the yorubas will warn their children against the igbos with terrible storries about them, the igbo's will do same against the hausas and so on and that was how it ate dip into our blood
Solution: Encourage intertribal marriages, this will in turn give offsprings broader chances to mix with relations from two/more different tribes that way tribalism might be reduced in the nearest future
i'm mixed, Kogi&Delta and am married to Yoruba i must confess i don't have any trait of tribalism in me because i have cousins all over the country being that most of my mumsi's sisters married other tribes like Yoruba,Ibo,Rivers etc so i got cousins inlaws from all over so tell me HOW CAN I BE TRIBALISTIC

May God bless you and may you live long!! When I try to explain that I have relatives from all parts of this country and as such I don't buy into this tribalism business, people give me all kinds of stupid labels. Thank goodness someone is pointing out such a beautiful example of inter-ethnic harmony.

@ doctor b,

Am sure there are many negative stereotypes about people who come from your own ethnic group, as well. How would you feel if folks from another ethnic group decide to view you with suspicion, because of all the unsavoury tales they have heard about your own people? Or how would you feel if you are treated as guilty until proven innocent, based on such stereotypes?

Ignorance of other cultures is the root cause. Nigeria is still largely an ignorant society despite the frequency of passing people through our education mills called universities. As enlightenment improves, tribalism and other related societal ills dissipates. We are less tribalistic now than in the 60s.

My bad. Double post.

Haha,

Education alone does not remove tribalism. It is only personal development and strong minds that overcome discrimination. In the UK, the english hates the Scotish, The southerner hates the Northerner saying he has got accent and so on and so forth. As bad as it is part of biological existence prevalent with lower animals. Only higher animals overcome it.
Not every human is a hugher animal in the real sense of it. |Forgive me if I de misyan.

of course there are many negative stereotypes about people from my ethnic group. I'm half Kalabari and like I stated earlier on the average kalabari man is a womanizer and drinks like a fish, I have brothers, cousins, and just sitting in my village just proves it again and again! The average Kalabari woman is a flirt and drinks like a fish; I need to check myself into AA! but thank God I don't have to check myself into FA (Flirt's Anonymous)! I'm also half Igbo and I know the hurricane I have to pull to get money out of my Igbo cousins!!!!!

I am fully aware of the reputation that goes before me as a woman, kalabarian ( ), Nigerian and African; and it serves as a check for me. It makes me go the extra mile to get what I want but I'm not holding any grudges because I do the same thing - if you want my trust you have to earn it. Contrary to what y'all are thinking I wish it wasnt so but any day, time or place I'll call a spade a spade.

Tribalism sucks.

A lot of us have been guilty of prejudice at one time or the other,
especially because of the influence of the tribalism culture around us here in Nigeria.

For those of us who want to put a check to it:

Lets put a conscious effort not to stereotype people of other tribes.
We have top give ourselves a chance first before the crucifiction.
We also have to overlook some trivial issues/attitudes since the people grew up in them.

It's hard I must admit but thats the only roadmap to our future even if some will never accept that Naija is ONE

beneli:
Because the politicians and so many people who call the shots want it that way;

Lets be frank how many people who talk about the problems with ethnocentricism (i hate the tribal labelling, for so many reasons) would want the government to abolish the state of origin thing when they apply for jobs and when they're conducting census etc ?

Not so many because they benefit from the divisions. And that's why there's so much clamouring for a further dividing of Nigeria into smaller and smaller states,

Listen up: until we're bold enough to demand for those things that reinforce our ethnicities and states of origin to be abolished then we have not even started in the herculean task of dismanteling the tribalism (that word again) thing. Its difficult though, because the ethnic groups have all cast one another in so many negative stereotypes that even if some of those things are abolished there is need to change the mindsets that we have about one another.

Okay a little task: if you are a Yoruba person what image flashes in your mind immediately you think of an Igbo person? If you Igbo what images do you conjure of a Yoruba? If you're a Southerner what do you think of immediately you think of an Hausa person and so on,

For the task above, you have to be very very exposed to many other cultures in order not to start conjuring up uncomplimentary images in the task i just set. So if you've never really associated with people from outside your kparakpo, then how would you be able to break the cycle of tribalsim?

And let me ask this; how many of us first see ourselves as Nigerians before labelling ourselves as say Bini, Gwari, Kalabari, Igbo, Yoruba etc ?

Be honest.

Everyone should read the above again!

Hey Adeniyi,


I am not one to claim to belong to a certain tribe even though I do. I would approach it this way, I believe the lady has every right to be as 'tribalistic' as she wants to be. People, class themselves in one way or another, either you are man/woman/old/young/dark in complexion/light/pretty/ugly, I see nothing wrong with adding igbo or non-igbo to the mix. If you ask me , we are all the same way one way or another. I am sure there are those who will jump to deny they have a bit of the tribalistic/nit-picking gene in them but truth be told, I believe the ladies need to point out the difference is what makes her human. Now you may in this case be the one on the other end that got hurt by it cause you did not get what you expected but have you never passed on some other gal cause she was just not what you wanted her to be instead

I SAY embrace and celebrate the difference, and accept that you will not meet the rule when it comes to all and that is a good thing

jjuummaaii:

Tribalism started from our uneducated/educated fore fathers. the yorubas will warn their children against the igbos with terrible storries about them, the igbo's will do same against the hausas and so on and that was how it ate dip into our blood
Solution: Encourage intertribal marriages, this will in turn give offsprings broader chances to mix with relations from two/more different tribes that way tribalism might be reduced in the nearest future
i'm mixed, Kogi&Delta and am married to Yoruba i must confess i don't have any trait of tribalism in me because i have cousins all over the country being that most of my mumsi's sisters married other tribes like Yoruba,Ibo,Rivers etc so i got cousins inlaws from all over so tell me HOW CAN I BE TRIBALISTIC

Another must-read on this thread.

Let me give a quote from a dear cousin who married a Yoruba man

"My worst enemy will not marry Yoruba"

_{I have met the man,he is classic ADHD and needs medication}

A quote from my best friend in high school who was once married to a Yoruba man

"I wish I had listened to my dad's dying words"

A quote from my neighbor who is still married to a Yoruba man

"He has such a sincere loving heart,but Yoruba men are a little lazy"

These stereotypes may just be because these ladies happened to marry the efulefus amongst Yoruba men.[/b]These same efulefus exist in other tribes.

There's a big advantage in marrying from your tribe,at least their ills won't be visited on a whole tribe and the cultural differences won't be there.
Even in Nigerian Christian churches in the USA,Yorubas tend to hang with Yorubas and Igbos with Igbos.
It is purely human nature to tend to gravitate with your kind.
It becomes criminal when you treat people differently because of their tribe.
[b]Omo Ibo who eats stone without drinking water is not meant to be a compliment.
The image that is formed in the heart of a child who hears this continually is not a pretty one

A hypothesis on being Z (where Z is an adjective that describes anyone who advocates any of the following: tribalism/sectionalism/ethnocentrism/racism/xenophobia).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Let a group be an identifiable collection of people that share a similar culture, trait, or nationality. Examples: Russians, Blacks, Yorubas, Latinos, Arabs, Mbaises, Jews, Yorubas, Igbos, Egbas, Chinese, Osus, Ikwerres, Mulattoes, Igbiras, half-breeds, Zulus, Nigerians, etc.

An individual is Z if he/she disapproves of any member of his/her family (including himself/herself) marrying someone from any particular group, mainly because that person belongs to that group.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My point: marriage is the ultimate test!

Check yourself and see if you are Z.

I hate when someone is behaving funny on me because of my tribe. I have exploited many bitches in many homes regardless of my tribe.
Be active to love this girl and believe me she will fall.
I've seen alot of Igbo women that married none Igbos.
I'm an Igbo and believe me my last relationship with Igbo girls was 1997.
Since I joined critical business, I have dated none Igbo tribal girls apart because of my living style.
Let me say I chosed non tribal girls because of my crucial business to avoid understanding my business dealing. I'm a DRUG DEALER and that's why I love none Igbos and other African tribal girls from West africa, south and east africa that I use to date when I'm on transits.
Keep on trying and always try to be smart in your dressing and you can try using HUGO BOSS original perfumes, it attracts ladies.

nwando:

Let me give a quote from a dear cousin who married a Yoruba man

"My worst enemy will not marry Yoruba"

_{I have met the man,he is classic ADHD and needs medication}

A quote from my best friend in high school who was once married to a Yoruba man

"I wish I had listened to my dad's dying words"

A quote from my neighbor who is still married to a Yoruba man

"He has such a sincere loving heart,but Yoruba men are a little lazy"

These stereotypes may just be because these ladies happened to marry the efulefus amongst Yoruba men.[/b]These same efulefus exist in other tribes.

There's a big advantage in marrying from your tribe,at least their ills won't be visited on a whole tribe and the cultural differences won't be there.
Even in Nigerian Christian churches in the USA,Yorubas tend to hang with Yorubas and Igbos with Igbos.
It is purely human nature to tend to gravitate with your kind.
It becomes criminal when you treat people differently because of their tribe.
[b]Omo Ibo who eats stone without drinking water is not meant to be a compliment.
The image that is formed in the heart of a child who hears this continually is not a pretty one

While doing my secondary school in Oyo state, I cannot count the number of times I heard some of my Yoruba colleagues use that to describe an Igbo person.

Nushi77:

I hate when someone is behaving funny on me because of my tribe. I have exploited many bitches in many homes regardless of my tribe.
Be active to love this girl and believe me she will fall.
I've seen alot of Igbo women that married none Igbos.
I'm an Igbo and believe me my last relationship with Igbo girls was 1997.
Since I joined critical business, I have dated none Igbo tribal girls apart because of my living style.
Let me say I chosed non tribal girls because of my crucial business to avoid understanding my business dealing. I'm a DRUG DEALER and that's why I love none Igbos and other African tribal girls from West africa, south and east africa that I use to date when I'm on transits.
Keep on trying and always try to be smart in your dressing and you can try using HUGO BOSS original perfumes, it attracts ladies.

Ol boy! Be careful what you say on this thread. It's not totally anonymous cos your IP address is being logged. As a drug dealer, you should be very careful about revealing what you do. Get an anonymizer to at least give you one more degree of anonymity.

They learnt that obviously from their fathers and mothers.
The only words my parents used to describe Yoruba neighbors were nwanyi and nwoke Yoruba meaning Yoruba man and women.

I never spent much time in Yorubaland but I heard that saying for the first time from a friend married to a Yoruba man who had inlaws describe her as such.

and we wonder why Nigerians are tribalistic ?
We are all guilty of it.
Igbos also have their streotypes of Yorubas.
Hausas are a different story,I dare not even say.

nwando:

Let me give a quote from a dear cousin who married a Yoruba man

"My worst enemy will not marry Yoruba"

_{I have met the man,he is classic ADHD and needs medication}

A quote from my best friend in high school who was once married to a Yoruba man

"I wish I had listened to my dad's dying words"

A quote from my neighbor who is still married to a Yoruba man

"He has such a sincere loving heart,but Yoruba men are a little lazy"

These stereotypes may just be because these ladies happened to marry the efulefus amongst Yoruba men.[/b]These same efulefus exist in other tribes.

[b]There's a big advantage in marrying from your tribe,at least their ills won't be visited on a whole tribe and the cultural differences won't be there.


Even in Nigerian Christian churches in the USA,Yorubas tend to hang with Yorubas and Igbos with Igbos.
It is purely human nature to tend to gravitate with your kind.
It becomes criminal when you treat people differently because of their tribe.


Omo Ibo who eats stone without drinking water is not meant to be a compliment.
The image that is formed in the heart of a child who hears this continually is not a pretty one

This is too funny!   I know I can always count on you to shed more light on topics like this.

Kobojunkie:

Hey Adeniyi,


I am not one to claim to belong to a certain tribe even though I do. I would approach it this way, I believe the lady has every right to be as 'tribalistic' as she wants to be. People, class themselves in one way or another, either you are man/woman/old/young/dark in complexion/light/pretty/ugly,

I see nothing wrong with adding igbo or non-igbo to the mix. If you ask me , we are all the same way one way or another. I am sure there are those who will jump to deny they have a bit of the tribalistic/nit-picking gene in them but truth be told, I believe the ladies need to point out the difference is what makes her human. Now you may in this case be the one on the other end that got hurt by it cause you did not get what you expected but have you never passed on some other girl cause she was just not what you wanted her to be instead

I SAY embrace and celebrate the difference, and accept that you will not meet the rule when it comes to all and that is a good thing

Are you ma twin or something?   You always echo my thoughts!  Frightening!  You are really a rare gem. You sure you are not ma twin brother?

wham:

Tribalism sucks.

A lot of us have been guilty of prejudice at one time or the other,
especially because of the influence of the tribalism culture around us here in Nigeria.

For those of us who want to put a check to it:

Lets put a conscious effort not to stereotype people of other tribes.
We have top give ourselves a chance first before the crucifiction.
We also have to overlook some trivial issues/attitudes since the people grew up in them.

It's hard I must admit but thats the only roadmap to our future even if some will never accept that Naija is ONE

Thank you.  I think this sums it up very nicely!  We are all guilty without even knowing it.  It has to start with a conscious effort not to indulge in such nonsense.  Look at our friend "fesse" above.  A perfect example of a subconscious tribalist!  We have to keep trying.

I saY, I say people, I am sure there are some of you who have sworn you will never marry akata, or even oyinbo or even dudu, all of una dey tribalistic on some level so I Say , HAIL TRIBALISm!!!

THE LADY HAS A RIGHT To BE AS TRIBALISTIC/RACIST AS SHE WANTS TO BE when it comes to matters of HER OWN HEART

@all,
its an evolution of our culture of hate and enemy centeredness.its human nature curable only by unconditional LOVE.

OH Please~~~~ people have been talking about this unconditional love since the beginning of time. Every one claims that when we throw flowers and put up peace signs, everything will be ok but I bet that is never ACTUALLY going to happen in this world. Why not instead embrace what we have and accept it as being OK as well. I mean so people do not see you as you would want them to. Can't it just be OK that way too?? Do we have to CAJOLE persons to believe in UNCONDITIONAL love which is usually our own selfish way of saying " IT HAS TO BE MY WAY OR IT IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH". In the end, we all want what we want. The gal does not want a yoruba boy, I am guessing the yoruba boy has his own list too. So why not let her have what she wants even if it does not go with what you want??


Live and Let Live, Long Live Tribalism!!!

nwando:

Let me give a quote from a dear cousin who married a Yoruba man

"My worst enemy will not marry Yoruba"

_{I have met the man,he is classic ADHD and needs medication}

A quote from my best friend in high school who was once married to a Yoruba man

"I wish I had listened to my dad's dying words"

A quote from my neighbor who is still married to a Yoruba man

"He has such a sincere loving heart,but Yoruba men are a little lazy"

These stereotypes may just be because these ladies happened to marry the efulefus amongst Yoruba men.[/b]These same efulefus exist in other tribes.

There's a big advantage in marrying from your tribe,at least their ills won't be visited on a whole tribe and the cultural differences won't be there.
Even in Nigerian Christian churches in the USA,Yorubas tend to hang with Yorubas and Igbos with Igbos.
It is purely human nature to tend to gravitate with your kind.
It becomes criminal when you treat people differently because of their tribe.
[b]Omo Ibo who eats stone without drinking water is not meant to be a compliment.
The image that is formed in the heart of a child who hears this continually is not a pretty one

Oh, so because some misguided person passed such an unfortunate comment like "Omo Ibo who eats stone without drinking water," you feel it is such a big issue? Do you know how many uncomplimentary epithets and descriptions that Igbo people have passed about Yorubas, Hausas, Fulanis, Efik, Ijaw, Kalabari, Edo and other ethnic groups?? Would you like people to start listing them for you? Should every member of those groups start complaining, feeling bitter or rise up in arms against their fellow Igbo citizens? Abeg, make we leave matter for Mathias. Just as other groups make silly remarks about Nd'Igbo, I have heard them too make very nasty remarks about other ethnic groups. Let us toss all these stereotypes aside. The good, the bad & the ugly, exist in every single ethnic group. Period. 

All those comments you made earlier such as: "My worst enemy will not marry Yoruba" Well, I have heard some people from other ethnic groups too, passing the same kind of comments about their Igbo spouse. Do we now judge an entire ethnic group based on the experiences of one or two persons? I know quite a number of Igbo women who are married to yoruba men, and they hold a totally different view. One of them has been with her Yoruba husband for over thirty years, and always describes him as a wonderful man. The guy paid the fees of her younger brothers and also sent them abroad. Meanwhile she has now become an industrialist with about four houses in her own name, just like her husband. She actually built one of them, right next to her husband's house, in his hometown.
I can give you her name & address if you like.

Another comment from you: "I wish I had listened to my dad's dying words" Hehehe. . . . .I laughed when I heard this one. I have heard folks who married within their own ethnic group, also making such comments, especially when they are in a bad marriage. In fact, one of our neighbours who married from her village made this same observation, when her husband left her to marry another lady. Guess where she came from?

Finally, this last one takes the cake: "He has such a sincere loving heart,but Yoruba men are a little lazy". Oh dear. . . .how many Yoruba men was this person married to, for her to have arrived at this conclusion? Five? Ten? Twenty? Abeg, let us know o. When next I see my Yoruba friends, I must ask them the proportion of their men that fit this stereotype!! Hehehe. . . .

@ Laudate, I think we know that various ethnic groups hold negative stereotypes about eachother Igbo, Yoruba etc. It seems like you are being  defensive of Yoruba's, its good to do that, but if and when you hear Yoruba people saying negative stereotypes about Igbos, Hausa's etc, I hope you also are just as defensive. If not, then maybe you need to ask yourself why not.

Is the comment "omo Igbo eats stone without drinking water" the worst Igbo stereotype you have heard? Nwando clearly said that these same people who fit into these Yoruba stereotypes exist in other tribes, yet you ignored that because you were acting on a knee jerk reaction.