londoner:

@ Laudate, I think we know that various ethnic groups hold negative stereotypes about eachother Igbo, Yoruba etc. It seems like you are being  defensive of Yoruba's, its good to do that, but if and when you hear Yoruba people saying negative stereotypes about Igbos, Hausa's etc, I hope you also are just as defensive. If not, then maybe you need to ask yourself why not.

Is the comment "omo Igbo eats stone without drinking water" the worst Igbo stereotype you have heard? Nwando clearly said that these same people who fit into these Yoruba stereotypes exist in other tribes, yet you ignored that because you were acting on a knee jerk reaction.

Londoner, please go through all my other posts on this forum. I have defended Yoruba, Hausa, Efik even Igbo, when such silly comments were made. In this case, I specifically responded to her comments about Yorubas in my last response, simply because she picked on just one ethnic group in her post- yorubas. If she had passed nasty comments about Ijaw, Efik, Edo etc. other ethnic groups in that post, I would have taken her up on it as well.

Like I said earlier, most folks feel offended when people from other ethnic groups make uncomplimentary comments about their own tribe. Yet, you would find other folks who share the same ethnic background with them, making remarks that are just as derogatory about others. And they would pretend not to notice.

For every comment people have made like "omo Igbo eats stone without drinking water," I have also heard those who used words like "Ofei mmanu -eaters of oily soup, filthy pigs, tricksters as well as 'backstabbers,'" to describe folks from another tribe. Some even use words like "nama" meaning 'cattle', to describe people from another part of the country.

Tell me, just where does it stop?

Tribalism kills development in an area, state or country.
Period!

Says who?? Post one particular case for your claim there @Tawa

laudate:

Londoner, please go through all my other posts on this forum. I have defended Yoruba, Hausa, Efik even Igbo, when such silly comments were made. In this case, I specifically responded to her comments about Yorubas in my last response, simply because she picked on just one ethnic group in her post- yorubas. If she had passed nasty comments about Ijaw, Efik, Edo etc. other ethnic groups in that post, I would have taken her up on it as well.

Like I said earlier, most folks feel offended when people from other ethnic groups make uncomplimentary comments about their own tribe. Yet, you would find other folks who share the same ethnic background with them, making remarks that are just as derogatory about others. And they would pretend not to notice.

For every comment people have made like "omo Igbo eats stone without drinking water," I have also heard those who used words like "Ofei mmanu -eaters of oily soup, filthy pigs, tricksters as well as 'backstabbers,'" to describe folks from another tribe. Some even use words like "nama" meaning 'cattle', to describe people from another part of the country.

Tell me, just where does it stop?

@ Laudate, I don't think Nwando was passing her/his own negative comments on Yoruba's, he/she was actually siting negative stereotypes that others had said about Yoruba's no different from the ones sited in example from other posters in this thread, and it was mentioned to make a point.

If someone sites the stereotypes of Igbo's such as Igbo's are criminals, stingy, sell their mothers for money, thieves, sexually lose, THEN SAYS THAT THESE THINGS CAN BE FOUND IN OTHER TRIBES, what is the persons point for mentioning the stereotypes, is it to agree with them or to point out that those things can be found in all, ie its not an Igbo trait per se?

I believe you reacted in defense when there was no need to, I think you reacted because you wrongly concluded that an Igbo was trying to spew stereotypes on Yorubas. It would help if you looked beyond her/his tribe to be able to actually understand what was actually  being said.

I don't have to go through all your posts, I was not accusing you. I was asking you a question, you have answered it, simple.

The original poster also jumped to conclusions about why bhis coworker stopped talking to him, you can put two and two together and come up with six sometimes. It could also be that he believes it to be tribalism because she is an Igbo.

@ Londoner,

Please go back to Nwando's post and re-read it again with an open mind. Imagine you were from a different ethnic group, (not from the Igbo or Yoruba ethnic group) and tell me what thoughts would spring to your mind, after going through that post.

If she needed to cite examples of ethnic intolerance, why didn't she use those she had heard pertaining to her own tribe, to state whatever point she was trying to make? Am not Igbo, neither am I, Yoruba. But I have relatives drawn from BOTH ethnic groups (as well as eight other tribes), and I find it very nauseating, when people pass such silly comments around.

I did not react in defense. She picked on one particular ethnic group, and gave 3 rather derogatory examples about that same group, then turned round to say others made an unsavoury comment about her own ethnic group. Isn't that rather odd? If the shoe were on the other foot, would her perspective have been different? Balance, is the keyword here. I didn't see that, in her comments.

Londoner, i didn't jump into conclusion; i heard the girl tell a co-worker she never knew i was not of her tribe when she was asked why we didn't hang out together anymore.

@Adeniyi,

My Question to you is this based on what you just posted AGAIN, why is it not ok to choose not to hang out with you again cause of where you come from?? I mean people do it cause of hair color, bad breath, accent, class, why do you pick her doing it the way she chose to as not being good enough by you ??

I wonder how hard it is for you to understand what i posted. You want to tell me you have never been discriminated against?

Tribalism is not only a Nigerian problem. It's an African problem. For some reason Africans cling to it feverishly. Sad. The continent is just simply plagued with complexes and syndromes.

laudate:

@ Londoner,

Please go back to Nwando's post and re-read it again with an open mind. Imagine you were from a different ethnic group, (not from the Igbo or Yoruba ethnic group) and tell me what thoughts would spring to your mind, after going through that post.

If she needed to cite examples of ethnic intolerance, why didn't she use those she had heard pertaining to her own tribe, to state whatever point she was trying to make? Am not Igbo, neither am I, Yoruba. But I have relatives drawn from BOTH ethnic groups (as well as eight other tribes), and I find it very nauseating, when people pass such silly comments around.

I did not react in defense. She picked on one particular ethnic group, and gave 3 rather derogatory examples about that same group, then turned round to say others made an unsavoury comment about her own ethnic group. Isn't that rather odd? If the shoe were on the other foot, would her perspective have been different? Balance, is the keyword here. I didn't see that, in her comments.

No need to assume I didn't have an open mind . You are stuck on the fact that stereotypes were cited and not the reason why, What was Nwando's point.
There was a thread created about Igbo women stereotype concerning money, it singled out one ethnic group, people came on and said yes there is an Igbo stereotype but, its not just Igbo women who love money, why would I be offended at that particular statement. should I hold on to the fact that the poster mentioned the stereotype, or his whole point, that its not only Igbos.

You say Nwando was no balanced because specific Yoruba stereotypes were cited, fair enough, but in your replies you only focused on Igbo stereotypes of others, was that any more  balanced ?

I also have Yoruba and relatives from the North,

@ Adeniyi, I didn't know it was in response to a specific question about her not talking to you, in that case you are right, and she should be ashamed of herself. I'm sorry that she treated you that way my brother.

adeniyi83:

Londoner, i didn't jump into conclusion; i heard the girl tell a co-worker she never knew i was not of her tribe when she was asked why we didn't hang out together anymore.

Fufu King:

Tribalism is not only a Nigerian problem. It's an African problem. For some reason Africans cling to it feverishly. Sad. The continent is just simply plagued with complexes and syndromes.

The English also see themselves as superior to the scots and welsh.
Americans from the North think the Southerners are all hill billies and backward.

Southern Nigerians think they're better that northerners.
Even in Igboland,People from Anambra think Enugu state people are savages.
that is just human nature.
sadly it's a reality that cannot be gotten rid of.

I'm sure some Yorubas think people from a certain area of Yoruba land are not all that.

Israelites also thought the gentiles were dogs.
go figure

londoner:

No need to assume I didn't have an open mind . You are stuck on the fact that stereotypes were cited and not the reason why, What was Nwando's point.
There was a thread created about Igbo women stereotype concerning money, it singled out one ethnic group, people came on and said yes there is an Igbo stereotype but, its not just Igbo women who love money, why would I be offended at that particular statement. should I hold on to the fact that the poster mentioned the stereotype, or his whole point, that its not only Igbos.

You say Nwando was no balanced because specific Yoruba stereotypes were cited, fair enough, but in your replies you only focused on Igbo stereotypes of others, was that any more balanced ?

I also have Yoruba and relatives from the North,

@ Adeniyi, I didn't know it was in response to a specific question about her not talking to you, in that case you are right, and she should be ashamed of herself. I'm sorry that she treated you that way my brother.

Hang around long enough,laudate is not someone to waste time and respond to.
Don't waste your saliva.
Most of the time I don't read her posts.
I hate when people write long speeches that make no sense.
especially when they're struggling to sound intelligent.
when it's obvious it's a struggle.

adeniyi83:

I wonder how hard it is for you to understand what i posted. You want to tell me you have never been discriminated against?

Assuming this is directed at me. Yes, I have and I did not have a problem with it cause I believe the person(s) had a right to do that of their own choosing as I have a right to discriminate against iyan and amala myself. If it had been say a company or government agency with this same issue, then it would be different cause in that case it is considered ILLEGAL, but when humans scream this, I wonder if we at least recognize the fact that we do the same things ourselves on occassion. Just wondering why we cry FOUL when it is done to us and it hurts.

okokobioko. what is tribe if not language difference and a bit of cultural variation. Is their anything like tribe in your biological system esp in this 21st. One is free to choose what he loves  or dislikes. I do not think there is any  reason to dislike a whole person just because he is from a different cultural background.

I for one know what discrimination is. The only place I have not suffered discrimination is in my family. So it is not new to me but I will not discriminate cos I do not feel good when I am at the receiving end.

You should be ashame of yourself, we are trying to break an 'ice' here, you are still naming subjects - 'iyan and amala'. I am 100% sure you are a tribalist. I have no fights with you; but you posts make me sick.

nwando:

Hang around long enough,laudate is not someone to waste time and respond to.
Don't waste your saliva.
Most of the time I don't read her posts.
I hate when people write long speeches that make no sense.
especially when they're struggling to sound intelligent.
when it's obvious it's a struggle.

How did you know that my post was not only long, but made no sense if you didn't read it? Please keep up the good work. I just love it, when people put their foot in their mouths.

By the way, what was your old user-name on Nairaland? Something tells me you have been hanging around these parts for a long time.

londoner:

No need to assume I didn't have an open mind . You are stuck on the fact that stereotypes were cited and not the reason why, What was Nwando's point.
There was a thread created about Igbo women stereotype concerning money, it singled out one ethnic group, people came on and said yes there is an Igbo stereotype but, its not just Igbo women who love money, why would I be offended at that particular statement. should I hold on to the fact that the poster mentioned the stereotype, or his whole point, that its not only Igbos.

You say Nwando was no balanced because specific Yoruba stereotypes were cited, fair enough, but in your replies you only focused on Igbo stereotypes of others, was that any more  balanced ?

I also have Yoruba and relatives from the North,

My response to her was based on the stereotypes she used. Period. I also used a stereotype directed at Northerners, when I mentioned the word 'nama', to illustrate my points. So what is your beef? Do you feel I should have cited stereotypes based on every other single ethnic group in Nigeria, when the particular post I was responding to, was based on stereotypes that was restricted to just one ethnic group?

Very sentimental too. we have gone past that stage now and i dont know why this generation still involve in these uncivilized character.

We have to take everybody as one and live in peace and unity. What's the tribalism for?

laudate:

My response to her was based on the stereotypes she used. Period. I also used a stereotype directed at Northerners, when I mentioned the word 'nama', to illustrate my points. So what is your beef? Do you feel I should have cited stereotypes based on every other single ethnic group in Nigeria, when the particular post I was responding to, were based on stereotypes that were restricted to just one ethnic group?

Laudate, I have no beef with you, this is just a discussion. I would not have beef with someone I have never even met.

No, my point was that you only highlighted only  Igbo stereotypes of others, which in itself wasn't balanced, you did exactly what you had complained of,  lol

My opinion is just that, just like yours is yours. We both saw what was said in a totally different way, that is no crime.
The Igbo women and money stereotype was also directed at one group, and it was a whole thread dedicated to it, as was the one dedicated to Calabar women etc.  My opinion is that you assumed you knew why the stereotypes were being mentioned, because you just reacted, which happens sometimes .

I don't think others here even took that away from what Nwando posted. If someone said to me that  Hausa men are lazy, uneducated and violent, BUT YOU FIND THE SAME  IN OTHER TRIBES. I would not turn around and say, you should  have said  the negative stereotypes of the Yoruba, Ijaw, Ibibio, Tiv and Igbo too, lol.

Anyhoo, we are all different, and we react differently.

Tribalism is selfishness in a large scale. Afterall those who talk about their tribe, when they get inside do not love everybody in the so called tribe.

mekoyo:

Very sentimental too. we have gone past that stage now and i don't know why this generation still involve in these uncivilized character.

We have to take everybody as one and live in peace and unity. What's the tribalism for?

We have to this, We have to that , why don't you HAVE TO LIVE AND LET LIVE?? WHy not accept people as they are yourself and not say they have to be this or that FOR YOU to feel good?? Isn't that partly the bigger part of the problem with the world today

When you cant relate to a person according to who they really are, and not what they were born into, ITS YOU WHO LOSES.

londoner:

When you can't relate to a person according to who they really are, and not what they were born into, ITS YOU WHO LOSES.

We each get to decide what we want to gain or loose, the fact that she considered him initially and then agreed to count it lose means she considered all that too. I believe it is every human beings right to be able to decide what he/she wants to keep or lose cause no one can decide what is best for the other. Since she decided it was best for her to forego this dude cause of his tribe, why is that a bad thing? We have done it for ages now and we are doing it now by deciding she is wrong simply cause she decided to exercise her right to choose what she wants to go for or not. It is not like she stabbed the dude or something!!! there is nothing wrong with tribalism, I say the problem is people deciding it is there place to tell others how to behave not based on facts but feelings which are in themselves selfish to a great extent.

Kobojunkie:

We each get to decide what we want to gain or loose, the fact that she considered him initially and then agreed to count it lose means she considered all that too. I believe it is every human beings right to be able to decide what he/she wants to keep or lose cause no one can decide what is best for the other. Since she decided it was best for her to forego this dude cause of his tribe, why is that a bad thing? We have done it for ages now and we are doing it now by deciding she is wrong simply cause she decided to exercise her right to choose what she wants to go for or not. It is not like she stabbed the dude or something!!! there is nothing wrong with tribalism, I say the problem is people deciding it is there place to tell others how to behave not based on facts but feelings which are in themselves selfish to a great extent.

Kobojunkie, she never considered Adeniyi as a person after she knew of his tribe, she wouldn't allow herself to get to know him further.
Yes, every human being has the right to decide, thats why outside influences such as stereotypes about people are so wrong, they take away the individuals right and instead, are so suggestive that people don't make informed choices.

I agree with tribal identity and sometimes you can be compatible with someone more than another on a traditional/cultural level, but why should someone being of a different tribe merit you to stop talking to someone completely?
I myself have my own preferences, but I'll be damned if I let a good thing get away because of tribe, whether a friend, associate or partner.

What facts were there that made it prudent for her to stop talking to him? she talked to him when she thought he was an Igbo, what changed about HIM?

People who discriminate always pass up an opportunity to lay aside their negative assumptions of others.

londoner:

Kobojunkie, she never considered Adeniyi as a person after she knew of his tribe, she wouldn't allow herself to get to know him further.
Yes, every human being has the right to decide, thats why outside influences such as stereotypes about people are so wrong, they take away the individuals right and instead, are so suggestive that people don't make informed choices.

I agree with tribal identity and sometimes you can be compatible with someone more than another on a traditional/cultural level, but why should someone being of a different tribe merit you to stop talking to someone completely?
I myself have my own preferences, but I'll be damned if I let a good thing get away because of tribe, whether a friend, associate or partner.

What facts were there that made it prudent for her to stop talking to him? she talked to him when she thought he was an Igbo, what changed about HIM?

People who discriminate always pass up an opportunity to lay aside their negative assumptions of others.

No matter which way you slice and dice it, You have to at least realize that IF she really considered him a good thing, the tribal issue would have not come up in the first place but I guess she did not consider him good enough for her not to consider tribal problems. People pass up on things every single day why are you making this tribal reason a different one from the others on the list? it is the same thing, it is a part of life, guys pass up on ladies cause they are not cute enough eben though they do not know of the inner beauty that may exist or even know but still pass. Ladies pass up on men who are not rich enough to fend for them, even though they do not realize he may hit his millions in 3 years. Employers pass on applicants even though they do not realize how good they really really are. The point still remains, he must not have been good enough by her own standards and that is that. Sure it hurts but to argue against someone elses right to choose just cause it does not agree with your way of thinking is for you to play exactly the same card and claim you are right for playing it and the other is wrong cause you said so.

Tribalism is not wrong. He should be happy she passed on him so he can focus on better or maybe he is to prove to her that he is not one of the many out there she has come to know. I am sorry but regardless of how bad we have felt of people discriminating against us in one way or another, we do not have to be quick to jump the gun in labelling them the problem. We need to at least consider what could have been the underlying issue. Is it that she just flat out hates yorubas because she is igbo?? or she dated some yorubas who did her wrong and basically caused her to shut off completely?? and If he knows that his own motives are pure, he can go ahead and try to win her heart and let it go. Claiming tribalism is the issue in this case, just does not do it for me, I am sorry

Kobojunkie:

No matter which way you slice and dice it, You have to at least realize that IF she really considered him a good thing, the tribal issue would have not come up in the first place but I guess she did not consider him good enough for her not to consider tribal problems. People pass up on things every single day why are you making this tribal reason a different one from the others on the list? it is the same thing, it is a part of life, guys pass up on ladies cause they are not cute enough eben though they do not know of the inner beauty that may exist or even know but still pass. Ladies pass up on men who are not rich enough to fend for them, even though they do not realize he may hit his millions in 3 years. Employers pass on applicants even though they do not realize how good they really really are. The point still remains, he must not have been good enough by her own standards and that is that. Sure it hurts but to argue against someone elses right to choose just cause it does not agree with your way of thinking is for you to play exactly the same card and claim you are right for playing it and the other is wrong cause you said so.

Tribalism is not wrong. He should be happy she passed on him so he can focus on better or maybe he is to prove to her that he is not one of the many out there she has come to know. I am sorry but regardless of how bad we have felt of people discriminating against us in one way or another, we do not have to be quick to jump the gun in labelling them the problem. We need to at least consider what could have been the underlying issue. Is it that she just flat out hates yorubas because she is igbo?? or she dated some yorubas who did her wrong and basically caused her to shut off completely?? and If he knows that his own motives are pure, he can go ahead and try to win her heart and let it go. Claiming tribalism is the issue in this case, just does not do it for me, I am sorry

She herself said it was because he was Yoruba, even if she has had bad experiences with Yoruba guys, she is still saying no to him, based on something other than HIM. If he was not good enough, why did she speak to him when she thought he was Igbo? I cant tell someone what to do, but I can say what I think about it, and I think its wrong.

Kobojunkie:

Since she decided it was best for her to forego this dude cause of his tribe, why is that a bad thing? We have done it for ages now and we are doing it now by deciding she is wrong simply cause she decided to exercise her right to choose what she wants to go for or not. It is not like she stabbed the dude or something!!! there is nothing wrong with tribalism, I say the problem is people deciding it is there place to tell others how to behave not based on facts but feelings which are in themselves selfish to a great extent.

Just because you see nothing wrong with a particular act, does not mean others would see it the same way or that they should also follow your lead. You claim there is nothing wrong with tribalism?? Jeez!! Have you ever been denied a job simply on the basis of your ethnic origin? Have you ever had a wrong set of motives ascribed to your actions, simply because you come from a particular part of the country? Have you ever lost an opportunity, just because you speak a language different from the one some folks want to hear? Can you tell me if there is anything 'good' in all these scenarios painted here? If you find it perfectly acceptable to be on the receiving end of such treat ment, then maybe you are right to say "there is nothing wrong with tribalism. "

Alright, maybe you can tell me what is right about tribalism, so that I can see the 'good' inherent in it, that has led you to conclude that nothing is wrong with it.

hmmmmm,after taking mytime and reflecting on wot the poster said,
i think the poster shoulda tried to prove himself as a worthy fellow to the girl in question.i aint fazed by it cus we are both nigerians,black and work in the same office.
my problem is i cant stand the oyinbo racism.more on this later.cheers

This thread is a masterpiece.  I just love these new breed of Nairalanders!  Bravo!  Keep up the entertaining pace of intellectual dialogue for a change.  This is so refreshing!


Good job Londoner.  You make your points without getting unnecessarily "personal"!  Kudos! I like you!

seun001:

hmmmmm,after taking mytime and reflecting on wot the poster said,
i think the poster shoulda tried to prove himself as a worthy fellow to the girl in question.i aint fazed by it cus we are both Nigerians,black and work in the same office.
my problem is i can't stand the oyinbo racism.more on this later.cheers

There is nothing to "prove".  If someone is shallow-minded enough to judge you by your tribal characteristics without getting to know you---do not ever bother with that person.  Because you have not even reached the tip of the iceberg.   This girl might also have some innate "primitive" beliefs not conducive to any healthy union--based on her environment, level of exposure or upbringing.

That type of person is not worth knowing at all, lest he or she drags you to the level of your mind being a "muskeg of mediocrity"!   Seek forth your own kind so the future of your unborn children can be meaningful! BTW-it might be wise to confront the beast in "tribalism" before you tackle the monster of "oyinbo racism." Only then can you face the true enemy with one solid voice!  Cheers!

adeniyi83:

You should be ashame of yourself, we are trying to break an 'ice' here, you are still naming subjects - 'iyan and amala'. I am 100% sure you are a tribalist. I have no fights with you; but you posts make me sick.

They make me sick too!

I can't believe someone can say "there is nothing wrong with tribalism", go on to compare humans with amala and iyan, and then confuse "choice" with "prejudice".

@poster, fashie that babe one time! You no need dat kin yeye human being for your life. Babes full ground. No waste anytime with that kin person, I take God beg you. If she no talk to you, no give am any face. Nonsense! If the babe jam solid Igbo guy, she think say the guy go get time for am? She jam solid Yoruba guy wey like am die, she dey do shakara. After when she cross thirty, she go turn born-again dey look for bobos inside church. Thunder fire her head. Forget about her immediately!

Tribalists and racists, are just people with a high dose of inferiority complex. They're usually people who have experienced discrimination in their past, and have come to see it as the only way of existing.

LOL @Adeniyi,

I am serious about my posts and I am sorry to disappoint you but I am neither a tribalist or a typical Nigerian. I never really fit in with most of my friends back in Nigeria and they made me know it. I watched them from afar, I still watch people relate with each other, Siblings relate with siblings, guys relate with gals, adults relate with other adults and I have to be honest. I actually think and believe that this is how it ought to be, It is part of our make up, I mean our being selective in the way we are. I am not saying it is right but WE ALL DO IT ON ONE LEVEL OR ANOTHER. Why is it bad when she does it cause you are not of her tribe but it could be ok for you to do it to some other gal cause she is not BEAUTIFUL enough?? or Some other person does it to another cause the person is not slim/fat enough?? It is all the same thing. We All do it on some level. Either You are not black enough, or you are not white enough ?? or you are not clean enough?? LOL, I spent time reading a thread posted about Marrying a person with tribal Marks or not and you should have read the reaction people had to such a question. Infact I bet some of you in here right now who are trying to claim this gal did Him wrong are among those who Said HECK NO WAY WOULD YOU EVER GO OUT with someone who has tribal Marks )

My point is this, Choice is a part of life, She did not see you as being good enough for her and she chose tribe to be the excuse she would use in that case. If she really did see you as being as GOOD as you think she did, It would never have been an issue. And For you, If you had Actually TRIED hard enough to break down that WALL that she came up with ?? we might have been discussing something else. But it seems, you did not break down the wall that she put up and you are here blaming Tribalism instead. Tribalism will always exist , even in the so called free world. People still have reservations, I mean now we claim, in the name of being PC ( Politically Correct), it is wrong to voice what we actually feel but I would rather a gal be honest with me so I can actually know to run from her at that point and find me someone who will not have to live with that sort of confusion in her heart cause she is with me. I am sorry , but she did you a favour but I doubt you see it .