Hi,
Naira landers, this is my first post. i wish to first salute the administrator of this is forum. Kudos! And thumps up for every forum members. I found the forum really resourceful and most of all humorous. You know laughter is a good medcine.

Back to the title of my post. I need your advice please. I've been married for the past 4 years and with 2 kids. I discovered my hubby is having ex marital affairs with diff women. It really makes me mad cos of the surrounding circumstances. While I was out of the country to have our first baby and almost lost my life, my hubby was out having fun. i discovered 2 years later!

To cut it short, i confronted him and brought our marriage counsellor into the knowledge. He admitted it and promise to stop. this is a year after and he is still in touch with a particular one of them( a banker). He always locks his phone so i cant access it and tells me he has confidential information (mails and text from his female friends)

As much as I don't wish my marriage to fail, I feel emotional torture and I feel i should have a showdown with this particular lady. i have her contacts and i know her office.
I feel so disturb pursuing a career and taking care of 2 little kids.

I wish to go for my MBA abroad but I cant cause of my experience of leaving him for 2 months. why are men like this?

Sweetheart, yours is a heart cry and I feel your pain. I have been there, so I know what you are talking about. Can I recommend that you get the book, The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian, and start from there. I will also advise that you do not take any action against this woman or your husband. You just need to go on your knees as a starting point. Suspend your course for now, if you can. If the situation does not change God will give you the grace to bear it. Take heart. Infidelity among our men, even christian men, is the bane of family life in our society.
Again, please, having a showdown with the lady will not solve any problem; it may actually compound it. You need to keep your pride and remain calm as hard as that may be.

this is heart breaking! men O men! my dear dnt attack the lady in question, dnt call her.
all i can say is pray ok, pray to the Good Lord who knows ur name, who sees every single
tear that drops down ur face, he will surely answer, he will give u the strengh to bear it,
His grace is surely sufficient for u go thru this. Your husband will surely come back to his senses.
pls dnt take any hasty decision n lean not on ur own ideas, depend on God soley n victory shall be urs.
take heart n remain calm darl

My dear, just like the others have been saying the only solution is prayers.

I will not advice you to confront this woman because there is a chance you would be
risking losing your marriage.

How come you signed in with a hidden email address?

I would have told you something else personal you could do.

Thanks Kris, I was just been careful. The parties involved may be privy to this forum as well. I need to protect mine and thier privacy, at least for now. I saw ur mail id, I will mail you.

A man frolicking with women while his wife is fighting for life in labour room must be under demonic influence. I think you should take to the advices of the ladies above. They are priceless.

Ikris, why not let her send email to you? You can then link up. She hid her email to avoid yahoo boys.

Personally, l think married women in the house should help. Her case is indeed pathetic, she may lose out if she take wrong step.

God bless you.

Hello dear,obviously African men are not only promiscus,they are polygamous in nature.Honestly,only prayer can change the heart of an adulterous man.I will recommend a book"The Successful Family'' by Dr.Creflo Dollar for you to address the issue.The book is quite educative and informative for both single and married fellow.
The world is going crazy,a married woman has been chasing me for over 3 years now!Isn't that ironic?Marriage is constantly loosing value in today's world.Never attempt a showdown with the lady.Your husband will only perfect his strategy of seeing her.God will help you.Don't loose hope,ladies are desperate nowadays.They ask married guys out.All da best!

it is never advisable 2 leave anything 2 chance.

marriage is beautiful and a true reflection of God's covenant with us.

sit ur husband and talk 2 him. ask him what he really want from those women outside that u cannot give 2 him. it is not between u and the women. it is between u and ur husband.

am not married but i know it is painful 2 watch ur husband misbehave.

marriage is a partnership. giving your best will not make a marriage successful.it requires equal commitment from both of u.

 just take it easy ok. he will surely calm down. he will get tired.
 just be prayerful.

Sit him down for a good talk. I hope u can talk to him, cos some people in marriage have that problem.

Pray hard, that God should should break that relationship he is having & give u a fulfilled life with him.

I believe u should read the book "the power of a praying wife" too

@poster really dont no what to say, first kudos to your husband for keeping and respecting you in the house or do you want to go outside so he can also go after you? .

you dont need any book the only thing l guess you need is prayer dont go buy Oprah books that will get you into more troubles. I am very sure if treat him like a real man he will be faithfull to you, be urself he will come back to you in no time, make him feel real and dont get your home into trouble and stop broadcasting your family state,  women duty to build a home and also there duty to destroy it. you got all it take to stand ur family  do it my dear you will surely overcome,

sylvao2000:

@poster really don't no what to say, first kudos to your husband for keeping and respecting you in the house or do you want to go outside so he can also go after you? .

you don't need any book the only thing l guess you need is prayer don't go buy Oprah books that will get you into more troubles. I am very sure if treat him like a real man he will be faithfull to you,  be yourself he will come back to you in no time, make him feel real and don't get your home into trouble and stop broadcasting your family state,   women duty to build a home and also there duty to destroy it. you got all it take to stand your family  do it my dear you will surely overcome, 

Really, you don't seem to know what to say and don't understand the issue at stake. These are real issues and real people and if you don't have anything meaningful to say, you don't have to post anything just to be counted. What is all the talk about her not knowing her duties and all that nonsense? You think all marriage is about is cooking food and taking care of home? My friend grow up. And shut your trap while you are at it.

@uf4oma Hey excuses!! was't talking to you, l guess you got no respect for urself and you need someone to spit that over you, l will advice you get a better person to do just that, ldiot

sylvao, my dear please n please again dnt try to offend this lady i beg of u
she's a very good friend of mine n she knows what she's talking about.

it's nt everybody's path u must cross on this forum. . . as u always listen to me.
i hope u do so this time around too. be a darling n stop fighting wt women ok

u4oma, please forgive this guy on my behalf please  dnt pay attention to him 

sylvao2000:

@uf4oma  Hey excuses!! was't talking to you, l guess you got no respect for yourself and you need someone to spit that over you,  l will advice you get a better person to do just that,  ldiot

Another war brewing. OK, sweetie. You know this woman is hurting and you don't have to add to her stress by saying she should know how to take care of her home. That's not very kind. That's what got me angry. I no like fight. So kiss and make up.

@uf4oma ;; Hmmmmm see what l mean you know how to make a family am already happy just for your reply that is what we men needs, if she can do same to her hussy l am very sure he will have no reason going ouside. Dear the truth must be said and told she got work to do let her do it peace will rain in her home, she will surely get him back l pray for her too, got nothing against you have a better work to do ciaooooo and remain urself

my heart goes out for u its a situation that is so hard to accept with too much pain to bear,

i will pray for u too asking for strength to continue and good insight to know what to do, cause its not easy trying to keep a family together with such a man ,

but i do think for ur sake that u must make a stand cause its not his first time to do it ,it has become a habit and a part of who he is,what damage has been done is already done but u musnt allow more to come ,talk to him and show him how u cant take it no more and that he needs to change his ways and earn ur trust again by changing if he is as willing as u r to keep the family together but u need to know the power inside u before u do that cause u will have to put an end to one thing either him or his doings,may GOD help u and guide u to the best , u r a smart women with two wonderful kids an a good career ahead of u let that be ur power since ur husband has become ur weakness

we r all here for u if u need to talk

@efuah thanks, you are so sweet , your point are NOTED.

@poster l am so so sorry if l did get you mad pls fine a heart to forgive me, l pray for a happy home for you. ( AMEN )

uf4oma:

Really, you don't seem to know what to say and don't understand the issue at stake. These are real issues and real people and if you don't have anything meaningful to say, you don't have to post anything just to be counted. What is all the talk about her not knowing her duties and all that nonsense? You think all marriage is about is cooking food and taking care of home? My friend grow up. And shut your trap while you are at it.

@uf40ma, that was truely uncalled 4, wot actually angered yu i really perceive that as ir-rational

@efuah, yur dey impressin sha!

@sylvo, abeg play d guy for dis , ok?!b  

good to kno yu'll on chek, one house anyway!

@poster, at dis point;yu really hav to be carefull, "be quick to listen but be very slow to react", from this yu'll deduce sense nd nonsense, bt nothing is impossible wit God(means yu must b prayerfull) dnt kno wot 2say to yu bt let's look @it from anoda angle, there must be a reason for evry step towards any direction, try ask yurselve certain ?s nd y yur husby(i mean yur Mr. right)is now driftin away, may d gudlord help yu out of dis,    

naijaborn:


@uf40ma, that was truely uncalled 4, wot actually angered yu i really perceive that as ir-rational

Another irrational nairalander with a penchant for picking fights that are not his own. What's your own when the combatants have made peace?

@poster, pls read this:

i have this friend that confronted her husband's mistress not knowing they've been dating since his bachelor's eve (thats where they met) they were married for 5 yrs, have 2 kids & after fighting with the husband because of it, decided to confront this lady because some senseless friends advised her to do that instead of praying & showing more love to him (even though its hard), & it resulted to the husband telling her to her face, he wasnt ready to leave his mistress, they are now divorced & hate each other so badly,

my advice:
pray for your husband, show him more love & kindness, be patient and calm about it and God will surely bring him back to your arms.

MAdam i really dont know what to say cuz am not married Just take heart and take it easy. Try not to go on all aggressive and nagging, I wont say turn a blind eye but really leave his phone alone. No need to inflict torture on yourself. Pray for him ceaselessly but also concentrate on your kids, your self, make sure you are in touch shape, dress well, eat well and channel your efforts on work

Thanks all for your advice and prayers. And to Slyvao2000 am not offended because ''like havanah's foot note  '' it all depends on how we look at it , thats what makes us different'' and Slvavo2000 is ''doing what he knows best'' right. ,  

By the way there is a measure of truth in his words, am also doing my best . I just pray that my best be good enough. I have taken time to examine myself and one of the area am failing is that am too soft. Dont get me wrong, some people like hard brave women , its just unfortunate that am soft and emotional. I wont blame God for making our way cross, may be its to strengthen me. And i pray I can say with crazyp that '' life is what you make out of it'' and not what you are dished with.I believe He will see me thru. Someone sent me this i will like to share it with everyone. See attached

And to Olanajim, uf4oma, efuah, ufubabe, option4301,ikris and others i say thanks. Your contibutions have being really helpful. Pls this let this be open, because I know am not the only one learning from this.

So sad.

caramba:
Hi,
Naira landers, this is my first post. i wish to first salute the administrator of this is forum. Kudos! And thumps up for every forum members. I found the forum really resourceful and most of all humorous. You know laughter is a good medcine.

Back to the title of my post. I need your advice please. I've been married for the past 4 years and with 2 kids. I discovered my hubby is having ex marital affairs with diff women. It really makes me mad cos of the surrounding circumstances. While I was out of the country to have our first baby and almost lost my life, my hubby was out having fun. i discovered 2 years later!

To cut it short, i confronted him and brought our marriage counsellor into the knowledge. He admitted it and promise to stop. this is a year after and he is still in touch with a particular one of them( a banker). He always locks his phone so i cant access it and tells me he has confidential information (mails and text from his female friends)

As much as I don't wish my marriage to fail, I feel emotional torture and I feel i should have a showdown with this particular lady. i have her contacts and i know her office.
I feel so disturb pursuing a career and taking care of 2 little kids.

I wish to go for my MBA abroad but I cant cause of my experience of leaving him for 2 months. why are men like this?

How did you end up resolving it?