chaircover:

It is in situations like this that we see the differences in the sexes. I am a woman and I know that God forbid if I go out and cheat, it wont because of something simple like he winked at me at a party or I just liked his height or his shirt (Ive heard some really silly excuses from men though)

So if I cheat its because of something fundamentally wrong with my relationship. Now if based on all that, my husband chooses not to do anything about it if he found out that I cheated and just let me be and we live together like nothing happened, then I know that I am sleeping with fire on my roof and I had better sleep with one eye open.

In a nutshell, men dont deal with cheating the same way women do. Not right, I know but that I am afraid is the truth.

Yes yes men react to cheating differently but the point here is that many men are equally willing to forgive their cheating spouses naturally there will be cracks maybe forever but some people are willing to live with that afterall it is not only cheating that leaves cracks in marriages. If a man can make the sacrifice for his family why not?

hi, silent treatment is very dangerous, i can say so because im a first hand witness to its destructive nature cos iv used it to destroy my life. u see, im married to a very beautiful lady, the problem is, each time we have a quarel,i give her the silent treatment, its my specialty,in june we had some misunderstandings, i handled it the way i knew best as always, THE GOLDEN SILENCE, for 4 days, on the sunday of that week, i refused to go to church with her. after the service, in other for her not to come home to the same treatment, she decided to go to her friend's place. unfortunately armed robbers attacked the house, she was beaten mercillesly and eventually violated by one of them, as i write this message,im not sure i would survive this week.she kept it from me all this while until last week friday.help me please,''

and people are surprised that she left this fool?

andromida:

Maybe its actually our fault as women then when we tag men who forgive their wives as weak or jazzed but I have seen it and its love. Lots of people make mistakes.

True.

I wonder if a womanw v forgives a cheating husband its also seen as "papering of the cracks" as well.

"And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife." - 1 Co 7:10-11

"What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." - Mark 10:9

When I read the OP's opening post, trust me, my head went straight to: "Let me read what NL females are saying". Immediately, all I read was only statements of those with (f) next to the name. And trust me they did not disappoint.

A man finds his wife scheming on how to leave him for another man and planning how the other man will raise her husband's child, and I am not seeing outrage. I am even seeing some attacking him and saying something is wrong with him for listening to her conversation. That he is too sneaky and paranoid.

These are the same women that will threaten death for a man leaving his girlfriend.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-715203.0.html

When I say most women are selfish some people will turn their nose up and say I am a misoghene, abi misogynist lo de npe? 

RIDICULOUS!

I hardly have pity for women nowadays.

All the best Bro! Sorry to hear.  

Gaggi:

I have left a number of pretty and decent looking girls. People always say why didnt u marry Miss X, Y or Z but deep down i know those who are crazy about me and those who are not.
I can't be with somebody who ain't crazy about me, no matter how pretty u are.

Gaggi:

Its our friend d puzzy licker. Why wouldn't i want to marry someone who is crazy abt me? What i said is simple, if u are miss world and u ain't crazy abt me then i ain't riding with u.
Don't be too hasty in defending the ho's man. Did i say i will marry a woman who i ain't crazy abt? There has to be a meeting point. If u care abt me and i care abt u then we're riding. Simple.

Thank you!

Fcking well said!

I have a 4-point assessment process and this is one of the 4. You fail one of them and you have no fcking chance.

@OP

No woman is ever worth it,just move on with your life.Btw,you are yet to tell us who the prominent NLer is ! Hope say no be SEUN ?

^^ na watin i dey wait for oh.

Abeg which NLder wan kerewa with your wife na?

all these london boiz. Abeg call name joor make we treat his fvckup.

we are all EARS

contact indian supreme kingdom for Success and richness without ritual sacrifice,do as i say,love me alone,business booming charm,love and fast luck charm,interveiw success,ring to win pool and lottery,medince to have children,promotion in office,spiritual attack.contact 08101330992

Truly, I have not read what others are saying to you before commenting. I believe strongly you did the right thing to end the marriage there and then, the relationship would not have get better with her ex around the corner. I am in the same shoe you are at the moment, a girl just came from Niaja scam me for visa, I hadn't mind because I thought I was helping my tribe but I got more than what I bargained for. She has since TRASHED my mother calling her p*rostute, call me b*astard that my prostitute mother should have aborted me before I was born. Insulted my uncle,my junior brother and sister, she even spat on my mother when she came for a visit to UK some years ago. I have been isolated from them. She make sure I don't have a family outside her and threaten me daily with divorce, lately she have been treating to kill me. She only show her true colour after she got her final visa in UK. So in a way I wish I divorced her earlier and count my psychological losses and moved on. The age difference is 12 years her being the younger and grossly uneducated.

My brother you did the right thing. You cannot stay with a devil in the same roof.

Sagamite:

Thank you!

Fcking well said!

I have a 4-point assessment process and this is one of the 4. You fail one of them and you have no fcking chance.

Your craze no get Part 2  

Sisi_Kill:

Also remember . . .Divorce is not an option. Don't even think of the letter D. . . Talk more of divorce. Now is the time to be proactive. . .What does the other guy have that you don't have, ehn?

This is rubbish advice.

I will say it categorically, unambiguously, inexorably and unequivocally that from the second, the absolutely fcking second, that the babalawo puts the rings on our fingers, divorce is on the cards on my mind. It can be in 5 mins, 2 hours, 3 years, 20 years, 60 years. IT IS ON THE CARDS!

Fck your fairytale! I repeat, unrepentedly, fck your fairytale. If I am not happy because of you and I tell you and I see no change coming, I am off. You are free to do the same.

I am going to live the rest of my life happy without any regrets.

I repeat, I am going to live the rest of my life happy without any regrets. Any woman that thinks only her happiness is priority needs her head examined.

If I get married, I will do my best to make it good. If my best can't, I will leave it. If I find a girl/wife is not happy with me and my efforts are not changing it; she wants me to do ridiculous, ediotic things out of my comfort zone (probably things that would make me unhappy) before she can be happy, before she realises that "it is true love" then I would leave her eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeasily. I watch all that stuff now. Fck your fairytale! Fck your concept of romance!

When I say "do my best", don't think I will sweat. My best to keep a marriage good should not be some kind of laborious process, it should be an almost easy and reasonable set of routines. If that is not enough for a woman, FCK IT, I will go and enjoy my life.

If my reasonable and rational lifestyle and affections is not making you happy, then go.

Relationship is an easy thing, anyone that wants to make it complex, can fck off.

op thank ur stars that u came out of this alive,i realy think u dnt have much other wise u wont be alive to be reporting to nairaland u would hv kissed 6ft long before now,hw on this plannet earth that u had ur wife telling anoda man that he will soon lv u and u kept mute?did u marry her at the club/beer parlour?dnt she hv a family or where she comes from?and u kept quiet all this time because she hv a son for u,mind u that son of urs will still lv u and marry her own wife soon,just go for a thanksgiving in ur local church theme deliverance from death!!tmoro pls do act like a man if u hv cold balls women will always treat u like a domy ACT LIKE A MAN!!!

maclatunji:

Your craze no get Part 2  

Bros, I know o.

Look, in real life, I have a very gentle and convivial face and aura. I can be very nice and sweet, but that does not mean I don't know what I am doing.

I study girls like a murrafcker!

supreme kingdom:

contact indian supreme kingdom for Success and richness without ritual sacrifice,do as i say,love me alone,[/b]business booming charm,love and fast luck charm,interveiw success,[b]ring to win pool and lottery,medince to have children,promotion in office,spiritual attack.contact 08101330992

Lmao. . . .Abeg carry your spam comot here jo.

expert555:

Truly, I have not read what others are saying to you before commenting. I believe strongly you did the right thing to end the marriage there and then, the relationship would not have get better with her ex around the corner. I am in the same shoe you are at the moment, a girl just came from Niaja scam me for visa, I hadn't mind because I thought I was helping my tribe but I got more than what I bargained for. She has since TRASHED my mother calling her p*rostute, call me b*astard that my LovePeddler mother should have aborted me before I was born. Insulted my uncle,my junior brother and sister, she even spat on my mother when she came for a visit to UK some years ago. I have been isolated from them. She make sure I don't have a family outside her and threaten me daily with divorce, lately she have been treating to kill me. She only show her true colour after she got her final visa in UK. So in a way I wish I divorced her earlier and count my psychological losses and moved on. The age difference is 12 years her being the younger and grossly uneducated.

You remind of a a film I watched in the past called, 'The War Of The Roses' starring Michael Douglas. The wife did not love the husband in the film and wanted out of the marriage; but the husband  (Michael Douglas) loved the wife greatly and wanted to cling on to the marriage at all cost, even when he knew the wife was sleeping with their Attorney (Danny Devito) !!! In the end, both of them ended up killing each other accidentally by falling from a Chandelier, hanging from the roof, they fell into while having a fight upstairs in their house. Do the right thing my brother, get out before its too late because some of these women have their marine world connections (spiritual) and might be on assignment to totally destroy you !!! I am writting this from the bitter experience of someone I know.

@Poster, sorry about the failed marriage. Dont blame yourself for its crash because, as an Uncle of mine normally says, 'marriage is like  a gift whose content you will not know until you unwrap it from the wrapped box its placed in'. Your ex-wife might have hid her true character from you while you were courting her, only to show her true self, when she was sure of her place in your life by giving birth to a baby boy for you.

Single guys on this thread are advised to look before they leap into marriage, by seeking advice from their Pastors, Alfas etc  because  the term,' bad wife' is never written on a woman's face no matter how she may look  

Oga Saga => drama king  

OP sorry o. . .is the Nairalander Mr. Cork?

jay bee:

Oga Saga => drama king  

Bros, as I keep on telling you guys: Most women don't understand the meaning of "fair", "equal" or "balanced". They just want an advantage that is all.

And if you give them the advantage, guess what? They would still dumb your arse (if they are still attractive enough to play in the market) because to them you are a wuss.

As far as I am concerned, most woman will leave a relationship they are not happy with or not interested in (if there is no restraining constraint - financial, aesthetic, baggage) but yet they will scream if it is the other way round. They only want an advantage.

Sagamite:

Bros, as I keep on telling you guys: Most women don't understand the meaning of "fair", "equal" or "balanced". They just want an advantage that is all.

And if you give them the advantage, guess what? They would still dumb your arse (if they are still attractive enough to play in the market) because to them you are a wuss.

As far as I am concerned, most woman will leave a relationship they are not happy with or not interested in (if their is not restraining constraint - financial, aesthetic, baggage) but yet they will scream if it is the other way round. They only want an advantage.

Don't we all want the same?
we want them to be figure whatever coupled with brains so as to adequately subsidize our purse.
Oga saga, go marry

supreme kingdom:

contact indian supreme kingdom for Success and richness without ritual sacrifice,do as i say,love me alone,business booming charm,love and fast luck charm,interveiw success,ring to win pool and lottery,medince to have children,promotion in office,spiritual attack.contact 08101330992

Mr Charmer, aw muxh av you got in your bank account?  

do you have "overflowing paypal account charm" ?  

jay bee:

Don't we all want the same?
we want them to be figure whatever coupled with brains so as to adequately subsidize our purse.

On average, I believe men are more capable of practicing equality than women.

Most women only know how to give when the guy is an arsehole.

jay bee:

Oga saga, go marry 

AHHH! Awon ota! (Enemies)

And later they will be claiming to be my friends.

The OP's post is largely incoherent. Reason: Incorrect syntax.

Guy , sorry about this sad event. you have to brace up and face life squarely. Remember that you dont have two life and it is just one, I wish you mercy journey in life, so sad tonak, may God giv you your own wife , but for the sake of next time, always prya,pray and pray b4 you jump into any marriage.

What beautiful FICTION and people are feeling sorry for Tonak who had nothing and lost nothing! Just took our minds off 9ja problems. Nlanders, we are ever ready to comment on every post. I laughed all thru; very entertaining though. Tonak give us another story. ALAWIYE Part V

dbride:

What beautiful FICTION and people are feeling sorry for Tonak who had nothing and lost nothing! Just took our minds off 9ja problems. Nlanders, we are ever ready to comment on every post. I laughed all thru; very entertaining though. Tonak give us another story. ALAWIYE Part V

What proof or hints do you have that led you to believe it is fiction?

Hmmm, So much to learn about the institution that is marriage, especially in the face of westernization and the huge departure from our African values .

My own is that we should not take this as one of the regular Nairaland threads; this is someone's real-life situation and some folks are applying the same joke-section approach here.
Please let's be careful the sort of advice we give on here, abeg.

I really feel for you.May God help you to bear it.One things I cant understand why ppl get married if they have not finished with their ex.what is the meaning of this.they spoil their own life and affect others life too.what is the child's fault.I have the same problem with my husband.his ex never allow my mind to rest.for all of this I blame my husband.he must finish with her first.after get married.its not good at all but seems its very common in Nigeria.I pray for you and for my marriage too.I dont want to finish like you.

Who cates! That one na una palaver.

@Sagamite, It is not everytime you come up with evidence, there is a''knowing'' that cannot be disputed by Tonak himself. He asks for permission to name the Nlander involved, what a funny guy. He really made me laugh with that and some advised him not to. Who asked him to post his story? Why then does he need permission from us to mention names?

TONAK is a good story teller and knows how to engage people with his fiction. I repeat: ALAWIYE Part V. Thanks for giving me something to laugh at in 2day's 9ja---full of pains. Good and timely spicing!!!!!!!