ThiefOfHearts:

coogar give it a rest.

women also have to worry about men becoming drunkards, cheats, abusers, etc, (yall pretend in the beginning as well) yet for some reason they bite the bullet and jump into it anyway, hoping for the best I suppose. If they can do it, what's with the excuses. Thought men were supposed to be the ones with courage  

Analytical:

I will call a spade a spade.  Yes they are, except they are into mere friendship!

Sagamite:

AFRAID!

FEAR!

English, woman, English.

We already corrected that tactics earlier in the thread.

Don't think you use of words will make a change.[/b]https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-859170.96.html#msg10098384

My friend, cut the crap! What is your understanding of the term "responsible".

You go school na?

Spewing tosh to impress women.

too bad if it does not cause a change, i used those words because they are the ones that can relay my message clearly, what on earth will make a man keep a longterm relationship with a woman in the house and later become a ''baby-father' without tying the knot as it should be' if not Fear' of the unknown, fear of committment. Being [b]afraid is a feeling of fear, having a feeling of aversion or unwillingness in regard to something, that is all i sense.

Analytical:

I will call a spade a spade.  Yes they are, except they are into mere friendship!  It doesn't matter what fanciful names they have coined to explain away their irresponsibility.

Analytical:

Sagamite, you can make your point without being insultive.  If someone has been in in a marriage for 11 years and is enjoying it, humility teaches you ask and learn how it is done instead of trying to be sarcastic.

ThiefOfHearts:

I find it hilarious that the church mice always whine about losing money after a divorce

sincev yall OBVIOUSLY cant afford to marry "gold diggers" I dont see what your issue is. abeg

Michael Jordan despite losing 1b to his wife is gettihg married again. yet peopl who wobnt see that ion their lifetime are "scared" of losing "money". LOL

You people are comedians

ronkebp:

too bad if it does not cause a change, i used those words because they are the ones that can relay my message clearly, what on earth will make a man keep a longterm relationship with a woman in the house and later become a ''baby-father' without tying the knot as it should be' if not Fear' of the unknown, fear of committment. Being afraid is a feeling of fear, having a feeling of aversion or unwillingness in regard to something, that is all i sense.

Analytical:

Coogar, you see, society has warped the thinking of so many, that the norms are now twisted and appear okay.  I repeat there is nothing wrong in having 2 grown adults in love and in a relationship.  That in itself is normal.  It should lead somewhere after a while.  The end result should be marriage.  Call it dating or what have you.  The moment they decide not to get married, that process is short-circuited and the best you can have is friendship.  Now for those two adults to still proceed to have babies and live together for years is not responsible.  What do you think is preventing them from getting married if they so love each other?  Please find out!!

Analytical:

Coogar, how did they end up with whores as housewives?  Reasonable other halves abound if you do your diligence to seek him/her!  But most people won't.  Who goes to buy something and won't seek for good ones to buy?  There is seeking to be done in before committing to marriage.

OP is not only scared of the woman he might end up with, he is also scared of commitment.  He is not sure if marriage is worth it and asked for reasons why it is.  Read his posts very well.  For your information marriage is practical and requires mutual hardwork and commitment for it to blossom.  Mine is in it's 11th year and we are just changing to the 2nd gear!  

Sagamite:

What utter dogmatic tosh!

. . . and that your cultural belief is not necesarily right or right for everyone.

Sagamite:

Maybe logic, un-orthodoxness, satisfaction, disagreement with laws, preference, if not broken don't change it etc.

Analytical:

Dayokanu, I will say they (Benny Hinn and wife) didn't do enough diligence to keep it again.

OP has a legitimate thing to worry about.  He asked for reasons why it is worth it and I tried to give him some.  Marriage is a better way than siring kids with numeorus partners all over the place.  That is what I call irresponsibility but some will want us to think it is acceptable behaviour.  To them I say all the best.

ThiefOfHearts:

I find it hilarious that the church mice always whine about losing money after a divorce

sincev yall OBVIOUSLY cant afford to marry "gold diggers" I dont see what your issue is. abeg

Michael Jordan despite losing 1b to his wife is gettihg married again. yet peopl who wobnt see that ion their lifetime are "scared" of losing "money". LOL

You people are comedians

coogar:

why should it lead somewhere? both of them don't want it to lead somewhere.
they want to enjoy being in love, staying together with or without kids and live happily ever after.

not every venture ends in climax.

Analytical:

Dayokanu, I will say they (Benny Hinn and wife) didn't do enough diligence to keep it again.

OP has a legitimate thing to worry about.  He asked for reasons why it is worth it and I tried to give him some.  Marriage is a better way than siring kids with numeorus partners all over the place.  That is what I call irresponsibility but some will want us to think it is acceptable behaviour.  To them I say all the best.

Analytical:

Dont get me wrong Coogar.  I wasn't referring to the dating phase here.  They have been married for 30 years.  The same principles that kept them going for 30 years surely can still keep them, isn't it?  They must have done their diligence then, but you have to keep at it now.  You don't say because you planted a garden yesterday, you don't have to dress it today, else it will grow weeds.


It takes two to tango.  Marriage requires the spouses to keep working at it, else it will grow weeds.

ronkebp:

Funny

But why can't the two adults who are inlove, stay together with or without kids in the sanctity of marraige?? Has marraige now become a ''jinx'' that brings bad luck to good relationships??

Analytical:

Coogar, you see, society has warped the thinking of so many, that the norms are now twisted and appear okay.  I repeat there is nothing wrong in having 2 grown adults in love and in a relationship.  That in itself is normal.  It should lead somewhere after a while.  The end result should be marriage.  Call it dating or what have you.  The moment they decide not to get married, that process is short-circuited and the best you can have is friendship.  Now for those two adults to still proceed to have babies and live together for years is not responsible.  What do you think is preventing them from getting married if they so love each other?  Please find out!!

Analytical:

Tell me which culture doesn't enshrine marriage as part of its values?  You amaze me.

Analytical:

Coogar, how did they end up with  whores as housewives?  Reasonable other halves abound if you do your diligence to seek him/her!  But most people won't.  Who goes to buy something and won't seek for good ones to buy?  There is seeking to be done in before committing to marriage.

OP is not only scared of the woman he might end up with, he is also scared of commitment.  He is not sure if marriage is worth it and asked for reasons why it is.  Read his posts very well.  For your information marriage is practical and requires mutual hardwork and commitment for it to blossom.  Mine is in it's 11th year and we are just changing to the 2nd gear!  

coogar:

exactly!
i shouldn't be held responsible for not doing my due diligence if my wife decides to quit after 30 yrs.
the most important thing is finding the perfect wife - either by luck or fortune or by hard-work. . . .[/b]stole that somewhere. . . .

[b]him: not every venture ends in climax!
her: a fact well known to many women.


for some people, yes.

Marriage is a better way than siring kids with numeorus partners all over the place.  That is what I call irresponsibility but some will want us to think it is acceptable behaviour.  To them I say all the best.

ronkebp:

You can get a perfect wife only if you are perfect.

ileobatojo:

You hit the nail on the head. The problem with the OP and friends is that they plan to cheat unrepentantly when married. This automatically puts them at a high risk of ending up divorced which is why they are looking ahead to what will happen to their possessions when divorce comes. They are asking for reasons why marriage is worth it while not being ready to adhere to the standards of decorum and fidelity that come with it. Won l’oro gbo!

The choices for them are simple.
1. Don’t marry. Seriously, Don’t. The poor victim you would have ended up with will thank you for it.
2. If you find some unfortunate soul to marry you, sign a prenup. No one here has said a word against it. Nothing wrong with it. You know you want to, Do it.
3. Like I said before, marry someone richer than you. In a divorce, you’ll get her money. Or wait, are you and your family the richest Nigerian family in existence? There are no girls richer than you? Ok, see options 1 & 2. Good luck.

coogar:

i am not perfect but i have a perfect spouse

True, true Grin Grin

in the country of the blind, one eyed man is king Grin

wonder what they are earning as salary in real life Shocked that we can't hear word again fa jare. real men don't complain Grin
to be a lady is not a day job.

You mean the way Paul McCartney was cheating?

ThiefOfHearts:

coogar arent you afraid she will turn into a "LovePeddler" overnight? Oniranu.

ronkebp:

Huh trying to break free from the laws of marraige? satisfied with the state of just keeping a woman in the house and fathering a child without compliance to the laws of marraige a freedom to do whatever without anyone reading meanings or judging your actions Being accepted and respected by the public for the path you have decided to follow in life and questions should not be asked

Are these the vibes am getting from your statement only so that i have a broader understanding.

armyofone:

True, true  

in the country of the blind, one eyed man is king

wonder what they are earning as salary in real life   that we can't hear word again fa jare. real men don't complain  
to be a lady is not a day job.

coogar:

she won't. . . .she's willing to tend the garden with me.

Analytical:

Dont get me wrong Coogar.  I wasn't referring to the dating phase here, except you are being mischievous.  They have been married for 30 years.  The same principles that kept them going for 30 years surely can still keep them, isn't it?  They must have done their diligence then, but you have to keep at it now.  You don't say because you planted a garden yesterday, you don't have to dress it today, else it will grow weeds.

It takes two to tango.  Marriage requires the spouses to keep working at it, else it will grow weeds.

ronkebp:

You can get a perfect wife only if you are perfect.

ThiefOfHearts:

No idea what this means.

what a marriage will be to you is entirely up to you and what you consciously want to create. it's like a garden, a marriage can be colourful, beautiful, full of butterflies and hummingbirds - but only if you cultivate it to be so. if you neglect it, like a garden, it will wither and die, and be a barren dry waste of dirt.

the $64,000 question is not "is marriage worth it"?
just like a garden, you can't really ask, is gardening worth it? well,  i think it depends on the gardeners.

marriage can be a deeply satisfying, fulfilling way to express love and generate love for yourself and for others. but only if the parties are willing to cultivate it as such.
like joy and happiness, it is not a destination to be reached and you can say: "ok, i'm here!" it's a path to be walked.

and it is a glorious path! sure, you may have to deal with fungus/stubborn/elephant grass on your lawn, or the occasional spider mite. . . .but like a garden, under the right conditions, it will flourish unless you don't have interest in gardening!

If you're not afraiod of her changing" why are your paranoid brothers afraid? Are you all not dudes? with common sense?
anyway I have no dog in this fight. make I continue yelling at yall in my Chindiama thread