Gentlemen (in particular - however, women are welcome),
I have a strange question. Can you please enlighten me? Have you ever been dumped by a woman in such a way that you really regretted doing it? I don't mean crazy women who end up trying to cut up your clothes or get revenge in some way. You may have lost interest in this woman before she dumped you but the way she did it made you ache to have her back, made you want her even more than you did in the beginning. What did she do? How? Why did you all of a sudden feel she was the bomb just because she dumped you if your interst was waning to begin with?
I'm not asking for the purposes of playing games with my brothers, I just want to understand what makes men tick in certain situations. 
I've noticed that when I've had to dump my past boyfriends - I've always done it differently, and I've always gotten different reactions. Some didn't care or even notice, some completely lost theior minds, buty I can't pin-point what I did to get such different reactions. Let me know what you think.

Shugalump:

Gentlemen (in particular - however, women are welcome),
I have a strange question. I've noticed that when I've had to dump my past boyfriends - I've always done it differently, and I've always gotten different reactions. Some didn't care or even notice, some completely lost theior minds, buty I can't pin-point what I did to get such different reactions. Let me know what you think.

You are in the business of dumping boyfriends. You do it with wheelbarrow, truck or lorry? I need the statiatics.

Scopium:

You are in the business of dumping boyfriends. You do it with wheelbarrow, truck or lorry? I need the statiatics.

lol

@ Poster

To be quite frank, you seems confused.

Relationship is about finding one's long term partner and if you know yourselve and whatever you are looking for you don't need to engage in dumping and dusting as if it is a game of numbers or of who can dump the most men or women for that matter.

If you dump anyone, they may not have seen your good quality before you dump them and all of a sudden they realised what they are letting go so they may then want you badly or

in the alternative they may want to get back at you and pay you back in your own coin by dumping you when you are beginining to enjoy it and least expect it.

On an small final analysis you should focus more on finding a meaningful and long lasting relationship than superficial and lustful relationship because as a woman you will run out of time sooner than a man will and what men maybe chasing in you now may no longer be there.

For your information, men appreciate a decent woman who knows herself and where she is going and not into games. Your man will eventual worship you because he will see intergrity written all over you and your beauty will even shine more.

FIND ANOTHER BUSSINESS OTHER THAN DUMPING AND JUMPING FROM AND TO DIFFRENT MEN. THE DANGERS OUTWEIGH THE BENEFITS.

MAY GOD BE WITH YOU AND UPHOLD YOU.

vigasimple:

@ Poster

To be quite frank, you seems confused.

Relationship is about finding one's long term partner and if you know yourselve and whatever you are looking for you don't need to engage in dumping and dusting as if it is a game of numbers or of who can dump the most men or women for that matter.

If you dump anyone, they may not have seen your good quality before you dump them and all of a sudden they realised what they are letting go so they may then want you badly or

in the alternative they may want to get back at you and pay you back in your own coin by dumping you when you are beginining to enjoy it and least expect it.

On an small final analysis you should focus more on finding a meaningful and long lasting relationship than superficial and lustful relationship because as a woman you will run out of time sooner than a man will and what men maybe chasing in you now may no longer be there.

For your information, men appreciate a decent woman who knows herself and where she is going and not into games. Your man will eventual worship you because he will see intergrity written all over you and your beauty will even shine more.

FIND ANOTHER BUSSINESS OTHER THAN DUMPING AND JUMPING FROM AND TO DIFFRENT MEN. THE DANGERS OUTWEIGH THE BENEFITS.

MAY GOD BE WITH YOU AND UPHOLD YOU.

word.

Scopium:

You are in the business of dumping boyfriends. You do it with wheelbarrow, truck or lorry? I need the statiatics.

@Scopium
Dude, you are making huge assumptions here. I am 34 years old - I have never been married and I don't have any children. I am old enough to know when a man is not the right one for me and have no bones about letting hiom go if he is not willing to treat me well. Despite the fact that I would really love a solid and loving relationship - I will not keep a man who is not willing to love me the way I deserve to be loved. Just beacuse I said I have dumped boyfriends in the past does not make me a serial dumper and the conclusion you have come to is very unfair and short sighted.

No woman can break my heart,Can you break something that doesn't exist?

Y do we keep asking questions we already know d answers to??, Guys just cant stand the thot of their chic or ex chic in anotha mans bed, so they want you back not because they really want you back, but cuz of the little overblown ego, just cuz of their pride, tryin to sell their cows and milk it,

@Vigasimple
I am a very confident woman  despite having my flaws, like everyone else. I am unapologetic about doing whats right for me.
I asked the question for a very particular reason - and here is one example: I dated a man for 6 years. Two years into the relationship he lost his job, moved in with me and couldn't find a job for the following two years. I would go to my classes at university and come back home to find him on the same spot on the couch where I left him that morning. He ran out of ambition or the will to pull himself up. I started to look after him financially while trying my best to encourage him to find an income. Sooner or later, he started to resent the fact that I was looking after him financially but he still was not motivated to do something about it. I told him I had to leave him if we could not work together in the relationship. At first, he had no reaction, I left. He ended up getting drunk, and he is still drunk to this day. To date - he has not had a job in almost 10 years and at 41 years old - he lives with his mother.

Last year, I fell in love with a man who I thought I was going to marry. This year he hit me because I expressed my unhappiness at the fact that he could go two, three weeks without calling or checking up on me. When he hit me he said it was because he was frustrated that I did not understand how busy he was at work. When I left him for hitting me - he spent all his time (despite saying he was "busy" trying to get me back.

Despite your unfair judgment  on my personality - I do not regret dumping either boyfriend in both cases. I loved them both deeply but I had to put my own well being first. When you respect yourself enough to let go of a love that is destroying you - you are a very strong person and you should be proud of yourself. Despite what someone does to you - sometimes, even when you know they are not good for you you wish you could hold on to them or that there was some way to make them see the errors of their ways and you can work things out. At times I have wished that a man I had to dump for my own well being - would make an effort to fix things before they go beyond fixing - sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. What I was hoping to get from you gentlemen was an enlightning discussion about what makes a man see the error of his ways when is woman has no recourse but to leave until he does.

Clearly, we are not on the same page.

snugle:

Y do we keep asking questions we already know d answers to??, Guys just can't stand the thot of their chic or ex chic in anotha mans bed, so they want you back not because they really want you back, but because of the little overblown ego, just because of their pride, tryin to sell their cows and milk it,

@snugle.
Yes girl - that's definately a strong possiblity and is usually the case. However, I don't believe it is always that simple. I think there are many other circumstances that can play out. I have seen it. People don't always break up because they don't want eachother anymore. Sometimes they do it because they cannot figure out how to fix things and dont know what to do. That's the area of thought I am playing in - the not so obvious - the not so black and white.

OK baby the next time you need a site to dump, what do you call them boy-freinds call me i have lotta space for ya.

Shugalump:

@Vigasimple
I am a very confident woman  despite having my flaws, like everyone else. I am unapologetic about doing whats right for me.
I asked the question for a very particular reason - and here is one example: I dated a man for 6 years. Two years into the relationship he lost his job, moved in with me and couldn't find a job for the following two years. I would go to my classes at university and come back home to find him on the same spot on the couch where I left him that morning. He ran out of ambition or the will to pull himself up. I started to look after him financially while trying my best to encourage him to find an income. Sooner or later, he started to resent the fact that I was looking after him financially but he still was not motivated to do something about it. I told him I had to leave him if we could not work together in the relationship. At first, he had no reaction, I left. He ended up getting drunk, and he is still drunk to this day. To date - he has not had a job in almost 10 years and at 41 years old - he lives with his mother.

Last year, I fell in love with a man who I thought I was going to marry. This year he hit me because I expressed my unhappiness at the fact that he could go two, three weeks without calling or checking up on me. When he hit me he said it was because he was frustrated that I did not understand how busy he was at work. When I left him for hitting me - he spent all his time (despite saying he was "busy" trying to get me back.

Despite your unfair judgment  on my personality - I do not regret dumping either boyfriend in both cases. I loved them both deeply but I had to put my own well being first. When you respect yourself enough to let go of a love that is destroying you - you are a very strong person and you should be proud of yourself. Despite what someone does to you - sometimes, even when you know they are not good for you you wish you could hold on to them or that there was some way to make them see the errors of their ways and you can work things out. At times I have wished that a man I had to dump for my own well being - would make an effort to fix things before they go beyond fixing - sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. What I was hoping to get from you gentlemen was an enlightning discussion about what makes a man see the error of his ways when is woman has no recourse but to leave until he does.

Clearly, we are not on the same page.

@poster

I like you! you are definately my type of hype. A strong woman who knows exactly what she wants in a man. Thats exactly my style. Cannot really contribute to this post unfortunately, cuz i definately shy away from break ups. I just let it fade and we go our separate ways, thats definately after all the dialogue to resolve the issues. Once i stop calling, know its time to go and most times as in your case they always want to come back.

hey shugalump, i must say i admire your courage. most unmarried women your age would be in sixes and sevens for not yet being married (i challenge any one of you ladies to prove me wrong) but what i admire most about you is your resoluteness. keep it goin girl

don't get into any relationship cuz u think you wanna get married and dont hang on to any relationship cuz u might not get another on; why hang on to that old sweater in your wardrobe thats moth eaten and outta fashion? its no more in vogue so move on!!!

besides, a broken relationship is much much better that a broken marriage, in fact, infinitely so!!!

big ups girl!!!

@Shugalump

In reply to ur initial post,

Its not the way a lady does anything dat makes a guy want to go back to her. Its no choice of last minute words, or referal statements or manner of break up that makes the guy see what he's missing. But its what he had felt about u, during the course of the relationship,(dat takes him back) which he might have thought has diminished, due to the storms, ups & downs & other travails in the relationship.

When breakups occurs, ur partner might think he/she no longer feels a thing, & probably thinks he just offloaded a burden, this feeling might be due to the anger or hurt which is still deep with wound so fresh. But as a when weeks go by or probably months, & those sore heals, they are then able to give a thorough "think" to their feelings. Now the object of breakup dosn't come to play anymore (because most likely its healed)_{that's if u have a forgiving heart} But the subject that comes to play here is ur feeling which u initially swore its not there again.

Then he/she start to think about how u guys started, the memorable times, the lies they told, that they shouldn't have, the truth they should have said, the comfort they should have given, the effort they should have given in, to spice it up. Then they know, they actually stil feel what they felt in the beginning. Which create the urge to get back.

For some people, they realise ur worth, when they've been with some other person & later realise u are still the best bet

Now, its not many people, who come back for selfish interest (pay back) it takes a guy or a lady with guts to ask for a second chance. Its one of the most difficult task in life. But which ever be the case, if u ever think of considering him/her again, make sure u dissect & bisect, your initial relationship, don't go on like nothing happened. Talk deeply about it, make corrections, say ur sorryies & start afresh.

@Poster

D'u have the understanding of being fragmented? This should be your first step to regaining lost grounds.