it will soon be my turn to get married. sincerely speaking, for our males, the spouse must be at least a month pregnant before the native law and cutoms.my spouse says its not neccesary since i know she's very ok. for me i don't mind, but i can't break family tradition. what do i do?

Where is it that you live that encourages such behaviour?

Is this a true law, i.e., legally binding, or is it a custom?

Men ! that is cruel!

i had a friend that had a sorry experience.she was almost tru wit sch and planned getting married b4 service,we were all thrilled for her.she got pregnant at the wish of the guy.they had done the introduction and the engagement a week b4 the weddding,everything was set.we all had bought the clothes,gele etc for the wedding.she was in sch 4 lectures she was 6months or more pregnant by now. wen they called her to come home quick,she had no idea of wat had happened.This was the wednesday b4 her wedding(3 days to the wedding).

When she got home no one could tell her what had happend,but at last they had to relay the terrible story to her on how the guy dead on his way home in a car accident.that was au she became a widow(or widow to be) and a mother of a poor baby at a young age of 23yrs.She had to bring a first child out witout a father.

Everytime i remember her my heart goes out to her.cos she almostt died then,she had an induced childbirth she gave like 3weeks after, only God saw her tru.

no one prays for bad things but i have learnt alot from my friend's story and wont pray to go tru such.now she is a single mother at a very young age(some thing she never prayed for.)

My point is get married,get pregnant and have ur children,make life easier for urself,dont complicate ur life.

I have even heard of stoties whereby the guy left and travelled a week to the wedding(even his parents were surprised).ppl said it was 'aye'.only to surface yrs later wen the lady had managed to see one widower to marry her.



@poster

pls drop that tradition,it is not healthy.

At least she kept the memory of the dead guy alive by bearing a child for him, and the family will want to take care of her.

@rachiwise

my heart goes out to your friend.

@topic

what sort of tradition is that, in this 21st century, thats so absurd.
hope this tradition is also applicable to the females in your family, not only the females that are married into your family.

This is a tradition that you can stop.What is the rationale behind getting a lady pregnant before marrying her?What if something happens before the wedding,ehn?Biko,I believe your family is educated,try and reason with them.
BTW,if am your lady and you insist I will walk.I hope she is not desperate.

People, People,

Take it easy ok, believe me when i say that, nothing can be acheived here with by force.

@topic. you need to plead and try to reason with your folks to trust your jugdement on this your wife to be,

that she can have kids. its an uphill task but you can do it. Try running it through your Dad first to get

his buy-in as he can help buttress your resolve.

Also, ALWAYS, ALWAYS inform and communicate with your wuife to be so that she 2 can be fully abreast on minute by minute

proceedings. if she truelly love you and want to sinserely spend the rest of her life with you, she will understand and

follow through accordingly,

best of luck man

It is neither an custom nor a tradition. It is only a way of parents to dominate

their children and influence their everyday activities.

@ mellow; well said, It is born out of fear of Guys Parent (note could be also Girls family) in regards to the girls ability to bear children forgetting that it takes two to tango; definitely not custom or tradition as in the past girls are married of at quite a young age and as mostly virgins- so they cant be pregnant before marriage and in most cases it is considered loose to engage in sex before marriage.

@ Poster in you allow such; will you require such from your children; the first point is do you think is right ? if you dont think it is right then you are the one getting married (being the MAN) and the decision on when or when not to have kids should be you guys decision as the sole responsibility for the kids depends on you.

broda,what scares u more gettin ur girl pregnant or breakin ur tradition

na stone age we dey?
abeg dis ignorance needs to stop, 21st freaking century!!!!

@Thoniaslim

@rachiwise

my heart goes out to your friend.

Thanks love,i pray such never happens to us or anyone close to us oo.

@mellow

It is neither an custom nor a tradition. It is only a way of parents to dominate

their children and influence their everyday activities.

u r 100% right!!!