naijababe:

Nigerian women apparently, even Nollywood has overplayed the script on this

you really believe all those nollywood scripts? abeggi.
nigerian women are the most suspicious beings on the planet. some would
not hire anyone(housemaid or butler) out of insecurity and the ones who
hire maids sleep with one eye open.

a man dogs his housemaid, and the maid runs away, the madam
then hires another one to face the same fate. yet, the madam
still hires more housemaids for the idle husband to slaughter.
in court, the madam would be charged with aiding n abetting .

coogar:

you really believe all those nollywood scripts? abeggi.
nigerian women are the most suspicious beings on the planet. some would
not hire anyone(housemaid or butler) out of insecurity and the ones who
hire maids sleep with one eye open.

a man dogs his housemaid, and the maid runs away, the madam
then hires another one to face the same fate. yet, the madam
still hires more housemaids for the idle husband to slaughter.
in court, the madam would be charged with aiding n abetting .

Speaking from experience now?

naijababe:

Speaking from experience now?

experience ke. i don't use housemaids!

agiboma:

I even wonder the age of some of these mods, ahh the responses, logic, reasoning in their post sum up the intelligence of a child see the example above, rolling eyes

Madam,

I planned on giving u *the hand* before, but decided to reply you for the sake of the likes of u who just talk **********

I took the pain to check your profile to see the post that was hidden/deleted. I even checked up to the 6th of May and we all Know dis thread was created on the 11th of May. The only hidden post during this period was on a pregnancy thread in the health sector. I even checked d beginning on this thread and also the pages that had hidden posts. I knew I didn't delete your post. I just wanted to fulfill all righteousness by checking. Na only baba God know werrin u dey yearn about o.

Well, I don't care and I do not owe you an explanation. If I give any, I am only being nice.

And BTW, will be marking my 10th bday soon. Y'all are invited.


* strolls out humming Ebenezer Obey's song. . . . "ko sogbon te le da . . . . Ko si wa tele wu . . . Ko so na tele mo . . . Tele fi taye lorun o"**

Good to see Tgirl sticking up for herself - let folk exercise caution before levelling accusations.

@ Coogar

coogar:

it musta been a long time since u last visited lagos.
women are the ones doing the snagging these days, not men.

There is nothing 'snaggable' about a mid-forties, pot-bellied, broke a$$ man who hasn't worked for 8 good years.

like you said, he relies on the money his wife gives....all he requires
is the money to buy a meal for any chic and she's his.

There are no chicks that will be enticed to Akute by a jobless man with no money - other than housegirls of course.

Tgirl4real:

Madam,

I planned on giving u *the hand* before, but decided to reply you for the sake of the likes of u who just talk **********

I took the pain to check your profile to see the post that was hidden/deleted. I even checked up to the 6th of May and we all Know dis thread was created on the 11th of May. The only hidden post during this period was on a pregnancy thread in the health sector. I even checked d beginning on this thread and also the pages that had hidden posts. I knew I didn't delete your post. I just wanted to fulfill all righteousness by checking. Na only baba God know werrin u dey yearn about o.

Well, I don't care and I do not owe you an explanation. If I give any, I am only being nice.

And BTW, will be marking my 10th bday soon. Y'all are invited.


* strolls out humming Ebenezer Obey's song. . . . "ko sogbon te le da . . . . Ko si wa tele wu . . . Ko so na tele mo . . . Tele fi taye lorun o"**

Oooohhhh!!! Why did you even bother responding to her?! Shebi na Aigboma? The world-renowned doormat? You are too kind!

ofefegirl: ----I reported same case to his family members and they came for a meeting. All i can vividly remember was his eldest sibling asking me to pls allow him have some peace [/b]and that she is sure his condition will change one day. They obviously said i am overflogging the issue. My concern is that he is already past employment age as he is in his midforties.

Allow him have some peace so that he can waste his life watching movies? Which sibling sees no wrong in his brother not standing up as a man to go fend for his family? They must have spoilt him and you are spoiling him the more from the look of things.

ofefegirl: What do i keep him occupied with?
He hates to do anything but watch films (with long seasons), sleep,and he is busy getting heavy and increasing in size by the day.------
His entire mentality is focused on the fact that he cant imagine why his spouse earns a salary and it cant be managed by the entire family. He hammers on this all the time. I have sat him down severally the discussion is going on, he will always have excuses for one action or the other and will always have a reason why one or another suggestion cant be tried.

I guess that in his head he owns you and the money that you make which is why he sees no wrong in you making money for him while he chills. There is a need for some men to shed that mentality of "I own you", your paychecks and your achievements" (that is if you are even lucky and he allows you soar to your dreams), marriage will be sweeter if wives are allowed to be themselves, and achieve what they wish while the husband is striving too and the two persons in a marriage can realize their potentials. This mentality along with his pride and the comfort zone you have provided for him for 8 years are his problems right now.

If he feels that he has a moneymaker, I hope he agrees to be doing wifely duties at home while you are hustling. What excuse is a man giving that is preventing him from taking on jobs to take care of his family. He needs a knock on that bloated pride of his so that he can go to work, I am not asking you to insult him but let him know that pride has never prevented a real man of integrity from taking on menial/good jobs to take care of his family. Stop providing luxuries, you have done that for eight years----now he needs help to get off his "movie-watching-a*s" and you will be doing him a favour motivating him in ways you can before he becomes obese and look ridiculous. What kind of attitude is that? Doesn't he know that his job searching time is over, he should be hustling now. Who stays home for 8 years looking for job? Were people not farming,trading and eating in the olden days when there were no companies to provide jobs? I hope that you are seriously making moves and networking here in nairaland to help get him something to do fast.

steph7: I get the poster's husband now eh!, so since wife's income is coming in, there is no need for him to stress himself and look for a job.def, this man will still cheat whether or not he has a job.@Op take your annual leave at the office and lie to your husband that you have lost your job, claim you don't have enuf money saved up, start crying abt how u'll pay-------

Tgirl4real:

Since he relies so much on your salary, simply tell him you have been sacked. Shikena!

I suggested that too, while she is home vacationing---she can act up like she is job hunting and when the vacation ends she can go back to her job making it seem like she got another job. He may become ashamed and think twice about staying home like that when a woman is up and about, going after jobs and working hard. The new job you made him think you got can be described to him as "not paying much" and that can help you cut out the luxuries. You are not maltreating your husband by so doing, you are motivating him. If he is told that the new peanut salary is not enough for feeding the family the whole month, he will up and work.

ofefegirl: ---I've been married for 8years. Before the marriage, my hubby and I had a very cordial and beautiful relationship. He was a banker and lost his job 3months before the wedding

You had a beautiful relationship until he lost his job 8 years ago.

You + your husband=Beautiful Relationship

Beautiful relationship minus (His job)= Unhappiness

The only problem in your marriage is the loss of job which has incapacitated him from doing his part in the marriage.

Pride + Too much luxuries + Wrong notions= Reasons he is not working

He needs some iota of humility + motivations (lack of luxuries, sensible encouragement) to go make a living and your relationship is back to beautiful.

coogar:

don't compare monica lewinsky to togolese housemaids who are malnourished abeg.
the girls are often less than 15. the op claims her husband kept abusing the housemaids
one after the other. is that even feasible?

You've not seen togolese house girls. They may not be gifted in the looks dept, but they usually don't need support in vital areas. My former bank colleague was regularly panshing his neighbour's house girl some years back in dolphin estate. Dapsy if you dey read I hail o

I think the OP has to decide what she wants, coming here to disrespect her husband is only a small taste of what she probably does at home. If she still wants the marriage, she has to make an effort to be nice to the man first and then talk to him about what he wants to do.
I had a female relative who used to say the same things about her husband. It was only much later that we found out that most were lies, her husband had left the corporate world and was doing business (which wasn't doing well), but all the while she used to tell everyone how he was unemployed, doing nothing and a "useless" man. I was really surprised that a woman can go around talking like that about her husband.

Tgirl4real:

Madam,

I planned on giving u *the hand* before, but decided to reply you for the sake of the likes of u who just talk **********

I took the pain to check your profile to see the post that was hidden/deleted. I even checked up to the 6th of May and we all Know dis thread was created on the 11th of May. The only hidden post during this period was on a pregnancy thread in the health sector. I even checked d beginning on this thread and also the pages that had hidden posts. I knew I didn't delete your post. I just wanted to fulfill all righteousness by checking. Na only baba God know werrin u dey yearn about o.

Well, I don't care and I do not owe you an explanation. If I give any, I am only being nice.

And BTW, will be marking my 10th bday soon. Y'all are invited.


* strolls out humming Ebenezer Obey's song. . . . "ko sogbon te le da . . . . Ko si wa tele wu . . . Ko so na tele mo . . . Tele fi taye lorun o"**

The comment was not even intended towards you FYI, I was referring to the other MOD who has the maturity of a child. I dont think i have to mention the name she is not a MOD in this section, she just comes int he family section rightfully so to behave like a child. dont know who ebanezer whoever is, and dont have the time to google him either. Not Nogerian either so if you posting anything thats not in English i wont understand, So IMO you talking to yourself.

Hmmmmm.

.

jennykadry: @Moremi

I am as shocked as you and yes it was moved from the romance section, come on now what did you think? A man that sleeps with even his house-helps and has refused to work for 8 years? did someone just say this is the time he needs her most? and some eediot agreed seconded that comment?

women with low self esteem issues.

The only reasonable comment so far.The part of infidelity makes that man a trash fit for the waste bin.You are a woman Jenny!!!!!

[quote author=jennykadry]

I said it once that the reason why some men Cheat is because we women allow it. Go through the responses on this thread and see for yourself, women telling their fellow women to support him, be there for him, do this do that. If their husbands read their posts on this forum now and see where they have been writing about giving their all in a marriage where the man cheats all he time, give me one good reason why these men won't cheat if they get the opportunity to? You see my mother during one of our marriage seminars pre marriage, after she'd told my husband how stubborn I was and bla bla bla and he should not let me get my way all the time or should watch so that my mouth will not get me into trouble, or my anger not cause me to Kill someone (gosh the things she told my husband, still wonder why he went ahead with the wedding ) told my husband "my daughters can let go of anything but can never let go of the hurt a serial cheat or abuser will bring them and if these happens, they will walk and I will be 100% behind them cos my husband has never done any of that to me and I believe my kids deserve men like that"

This is a woman in her 60's and she told me her mum gave her the same lectures. So where did all these low esteem women get their own brains from?


@daresh

LMAO, you crack me up[/quote

You are speaking my mind sister.Thank u for sparing me the long punching of my phone buttons because I can't afford to while cooking for a real man.

Do people really ask advices on NL about their marriage
Abi most of the girls who replied are single, old hag and prostitutes, don't waste your time here. Don't you have friends or elders