mother in laws that dont want to give their daughters in law peace of mind, is it not somebodys son they married? or did their husbands fall from the sky? this issue of mother in laws terrorizing daughter in laws and interferring in their sons marriages, is really getting out of hand, especially when the son is a mummys boy. to all such mothers in law, my prayer for you is that the same hurt you put your daughters in law through, your daughters will experience worse in their husbands homes..cos what a man sows, that shall he reap!

@OP. Relax. Maybe you should take a deep breath and stop sounding so vengeful. Bad people get what's coming to them whether they are cursed or not. I've had a nasty experience with a would-have-been MIL, and I walked away from a 3yr relationship. But some DIL are not just it. They don't treat their MIL the way they treat their own mother or would want their son's wives to treat them. Very few women would get love, respect and attention from their DIL and still be mean, but as usual, we have exceptions. That's not why you should curse and get bitter. And the story could change with you and your daughters: be the best MIL anyone could wish for.

maryswags: mother in laws that dont want to give their daughters in law peace of mind, is it not somebodys son they married? or did their husbands fall from the sky? this issue of mother in laws terrorizing daughter in laws and interferring in their sons marriages, is really getting out of hand, especially when the son is a mummys boy. to all such mothers in law, my prayer for you is that the same hurt you put your daughters in law through, your daughters will experience worse in their husbands homes..cos what a man sows, that shall he reap!

the problem isnt the mother in law but your husband. If he cant control his mother or insist that she respect his wife then he has a problem. As for me my folks already know the rules well before i get married...
1. once wifey enters the harem, all family members lose automatic rights to my home as they please. You need advance notice and approval to enter
2. Wifey is the mistress of the manor, insult her and you will be spending the night on the street no wahala
3. all access to me must go through the wife... so if you are rude to her you know what that means.
4. No her, no me. chikena!

Madam tell your husband to grow a new pair of balls.

You are really a rare gem David. God bless your marriage whenever you find the right one. My father is exactly like you, to get to him you have to go through his wife, little wonder they all live in peace. No chance in hell to disrespect his wife

jennykadry: You are really a rare gem David. God bless your marriage whenever you find the right one. My father is exactly like you, to get to him you have to go through his wife, little wonder they all live in peace. No chance in hell to disrespect his wife

my sister, make i add amen join that your prayer. thank you.

taryour:

Do you live on nairaland? What time do you even cook for your imaginary family? You seem to be online each time I log on these days. Do you have a life abi you want one?

What I say in this is that I solemnly pray that the way you treat your MIL is the way your own DIL would treat you in the coming years

Hope I would get an AMEN to that this time around

Cos I rarely see ppl complain about Father in Laws, its always MIL vs DIL

dayokanu: What I say in this is that I solemnly pray that the way you treat your MIL is the way your own DIL would treat you in the coming years

Hope I would get an AMEN to that this time around

Cos I rarely see ppl complain about Father in Laws, its always MIL vs DIL

AMEN !!!!



@jenny. U are most certainly one of my followers on niraland. Keep it up i wunt bite u.d other day i said u couldnt do without me,always looking for me and secretly admirering me.

It`s always MILs but they are mostly acting after consultation with FILs.
Is it right for a woman to come into a mans life and break the existing bond that has existed since conception? A wise woman will strengthen the existing bond and so bond with her husband as one.
How can you love a man and hate his mother?
Women have a jealous nature when it comes to their sons. It takes respect and diplomacy to convince a woman that you are not there to build barriers between her and her child but that you are there to join the family.
The core problem that affects marriages and our relationship with our in laws is vanity and ego trips.
Modesty, humility, patience and understanding come a long way.
Your MIL may act in ways that offend you. If you are able to keep control of the situation she will became your best friend. That does not mean that you have to give in to her demands. It just means knowing what to say, how to say it and when.
Also one needs to be very careful about what one says to one`s husband about his mother. Many a men would go giving their mothers complaints about their wife, even using their wife`s as an excuse for certain actions. They then go back to their wife and do the same there, thus causing a conflict between the woman and the man.

davidylan:

the problem isnt the mother in law but your husband. If he cant control his mother or insist that she respect his wife then he has a problem. As for me my folks already know the rules well before i get married...
1. once wifey enters the harem, all family members lose automatic rights to my home as they please. You need advance notice and approval to enter
2. Wifey is the mistress of the manor, insult her and you will be spending the night on the street no wahala
3. all access to me must go through the wife... so if you are rude to her you know what that means.
4. No her, no me. chikena!

Madam tell your husband to grow a new pair of balls.

Mr Davidylan, please chop knuckle sir. Your kind of species is not common. I hope you wife won't abuse the privileges you have bestowed on her?

jennykadry: You are really a rare gem David. God bless your marriage whenever you find the right one. My father is exactly like you, to get to him you have to go through his wife, little wonder they all live in peace. No chance in hell to disrespect his wife

Hey Mrs Jenny, first time of quoting your post, yay! Please don't mind me joor, just being funny.

I read in one of your posts that your dad is a quiet man and IMO, such men value their peace of mind A LOT! So inorder to enjoy it, he devised that method to ensure respect and decorum among his family members(nuclear and extended).

davidylan:

the problem isnt the mother in law but your husband. If he cant control his mother or insist that she respect his wife then he has a problem. As for me my folks already know the rules well before i get married...
1. once wifey enters the harem, all family members lose automatic rights to my home as they please. You need advance notice and approval to enter
2. Wifey is the mistress of the manor, insult her and you will be spending the night on the street no wahala
3. all access to me must go through the wife... so if you are rude to her you know what that means.
4. No her, no me. chikena!

Madam tell your husband to grow a new pair of balls.

Great post you've got there.

maryswags: mother in laws that dont want to give their daughters in law peace of mind, is it not somebodys son they married? or did their husbands fall from the sky? this issue of mother in laws terrorizing daughter in laws and interferring in their sons marriages, is really getting out of hand, especially when the son is a mummys boy. to all such mothers in law, my prayer for you is that the same hurt you put your daughters in law through, your daughters will experience worse in their husbands homes..cos what a man sows, that shall he reap!

Yes, but then again you'll have these very same "victimized" daughter-in-laws molly cuddling their sons.

Fast forward to 2 or 3 decades later and you'll have the dear DIL now turned into a "monster" MIL when her time comes now, abi?

Vicious cycle I'll say.

What exactly do these MILs do? Are they the Patience Ozokwor types? loll.

stillwater: What exactly do these MILs do? Are they the Patience Ozokwor types? loll.

I love Patience with all her craziness.

Efemena_xy:

Yes, but then again you'll have these very same "victimized" daughter-in-laws molly cuddling their sons.

Fast forward to 2 or 3 decades later and you'll have the dear DIL now turned into a "monster" MIL when her time comes now, abi?

Vicious cycle I'll say.

Abi.

The same DIL that were complaining 30yrs ago, have now become the wicked MIL of today, In the next 30yrs the victimised DIL would then become the wicked MIL

I have even heard girls pray that their MIL dies before they get married and I tell them hopefully your DIL would pray you die too before she can marry your son

dayokanu:

Abi.

The same DIL that were complaining 30yrs ago, have now become the wicked MIL of today, In the next 30yrs the victimised DIL would then become the wicked MIL

I have even heard girls pray that their MIL dies before they get married and I tell them hopefully your DIL would pray you die too before she can marry your son

Lol

^^^^^^ Taryour what is funny?

ronkebp: ^^^^^^ Taryour what is funny?

My post is whats funny especially how what goes around comes around.

Dont you find it funny that the oppressed of today becomes the oppressor of tommorow?

ronkebp: ^^^^^^ Taryour what is funny?

yes o prof ronkus baby,dayo is actualy right you know, what goes round surely comes around. D funny part is a woman prayin for her to be mil to die befor she marries his son. Truely speakin all tru my years in life,i av never for once come across anyone i know having issues with mil,i only hear dem and watch in movies but never with someone i know personaly. At times when i hear such stories,its almost kinda difficult to believe cos in d first place i dont know y a wife can not love her husbands family like hers and treat them and also tolorate all thier attitudes as she does with her family.tnk God for my inlaws.

May b its becos of my kinda person,i for one person realy dont count tins,i av learnt to overlook alot of things in d years i av lived on earth,even with my own family so y cant i do d same with my inlaws. I did rather fight with my mum n my siblings dan fight with my inlaws cause without my mil i would never av meet my charming prince (hubby). It is even better to av issues with ones hubby dan d inlaws. Wot dayo said is true,if i am a bad dil to my mil,then my future dil will treat me as i av done to my mil in d past......

dayokanu:

My post is whats funny especially how what goes around comes around.

Dont you find it funny that the oppressed of today becomes the oppressor of tommorow?

Whatever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

taryour:

yes o prof ronkus baby,dayo is actualy right you know, what goes round surely comes around. D funny part is a woman prayin for her to be mil to die befor she marries his son. Truely speakin all tru my years in life,i av never for once come across anyone i know having issues with mil,i only hear dem and watch in movies but never with someone i know personaly. At times when i hear such stories,its almost kinda difficult to believe cos in d first place i dont know y a wife can not love her husbands family like hers and treat them and also tolorate all thier attitudes as she does with her family.tnk God for my inlaws.

May b its becos of my kinda person,i for one person realy dont count tins,i av learnt to overlook alot of things in d years i av lived on earth,even with my own family so y cant i do d same with my inlaws. I did rather fight with my mum n my siblings dan fight with my inlaws cause without my mil i would never av meet my charming prince (hubby). It is even better to av issues with ones hubby dan d inlaws. Wot dayo said is true,if i am a bad dil to my mil,then my future dil will treat me as i av done to my mil in d past......

Kidding with you dear.....just looking for trouble. I don't have any MIL of Fil (they are both gone)...but i miss them, i would prefer they are alive and even go through whatever trouble they would have for me. But my SIL is helping with the trouble anyways, and i am enjoying the fun, my hubby does not care, it is a woman to waman thing, and i am more than upto the task.

^^^^^^ una weldone oo.

I know some daughters in law could be nasty, but c'mmon! U all know wot some mothers in law are capable of doing. I have seen some mother in laws that torment their daughters in law, and pretend to be very nice to them when their son is around. Infact my mother in law is like that! Worse off,she's a big pretender! I had complained severally to my husband ,but he wouldn't believe me cos his mum treats me so nice whenever he's around.infact,we had to plan on sumfin.My husband had to hide in a place and watched d way his mother treated me, before he believed all d complains I had been making, and when he entered the room his mother was so ashamed! Most mothers in law are actually nice people, but the biggest problem they have is JEALOUSY, and d big questions are 1)is it not somebodys son they married 2)do they want to marry their sons 3)is it not sumbody elses son their own daughters will get married to? My advice to men who want to have a peaceful and long lasting marriage is to love their mum, but set boundaries for her, she has no business interfering in your marriage (I'm so sure she must have complained bitterly when her own mother in law did same to her, so why do it to your sons wife?) I know men love their mothers, but face it she would die and leave u, ur wife and kids will remain wif u, so if u allow such little 'pocknosings' ruin ur marriage, wen ur mamas gone, u gonna hate urself!

taryour:

AMEN !!!!



@jenny. U are most certainly one of my followers on niraland. Keep it up i wunt bite u.d other day i said u couldnt do without me,always looking for me and secretly admirering me.

You haven't answered my question. Do you live on nairaland? Do you have a life?

maryswags: I know some daughters in law could be nasty, but c'mmon! U all know wot some mothers in law are capable of doing. I have seen some mother in laws that torment their daughters in law, and pretend to be very nice to them when their son is around. Infact my mother in law is like that! Worse off,she's a big pretender! I had complained severally to my husband ,but he wouldn't believe me cos his mum treats me so nice whenever he's around.infact,we had to plan on sumfin.My husband had to hide in a place and watched d way his mother treated me, before he believed all d complains I had been making, and when he entered the room his mother was so ashamed! Most mothers in law are actually nice people, but the biggest problem they have is JEALOUSY, and d big questions are 1)is it not somebodys son they married 2)do they want to marry their sons 3)is it not sumbody elses son their own daughters will get married to? My advice to men who want to have a peaceful and long lasting marriage is to love their mum, but set boundaries for her, she has no business interfering in your marriage (I'm so sure she must have complained bitterly when her own mother in law did same to her, so why do it to your sons wife?) I know men love their mothers, but face it she would die and leave u, ur wife and kids will remain wif u, so if u allow such little 'pocknosings' ruin ur marriage, wen ur mamas gone, u gonna hate urself!

It's very good your husband now knows the truth. I have a close friend going through the same thing and cries to me for advise every time. The only thing I can tell her is not to fight back with the MIL because nothing good will come out of it and live ur life cos her husband loves her just the way she is and should be happy he's with her on this. Her husband is aware and after many misunderstandings he's fed up with being put in the middle of their fights. The husband has spoken to his mum but she is hot-headed while the son is very cool and calm with unbelievable patience. I know the MIL is jealous her son has found a woman who has taken his mind and attention from her and is unleashing her vengeance which i feel is very silly. Best thing to do is to show you couldn't care any less and enjoy ur husband. Although the case is different when the husband is not on ur side in this. I don't have a MIL cos my man's mum is dead so I'll never have to deal with this!

I have a friend who is just like her MIL, although the MIl has decided to live on her case literally, she is not bulging at all, at first she decided to calm down for the woman, but when it seemed that her hubby did not know the right steps to take, she started with her MIL, infact they do not see eye to eye and both of them deal with each other without the hubby's knowledge.

^^ I think that's disgraceful!!

The MIL should know better being the older one and respect herself, whilst the DIL should also do the same.

Recipe for High BP for both of them if they carry on doing what their doing...

Efemena_xy: ^^ I think that's disgraceful!!

The MIL should know better being the older one and respect herself, whilst the DIL should also do the same.

Recipe for High BP for both of them if they carry on doing what their doing...

My dear, i don talk tire, i think the MIL should just back-off, and let them live their lives, i know she only has two kids and she is watching out for her sons, and my friend na one proper speree, meanwhile, her hubby is very calm and cool ( and that is what we see)on a normal day she should not have any probs with her hubby, but the woman (mil) just wants to set the tone in her son's home and the DIL is not going for it. It got to a point that the MIL was hitting the lady when she was really heavy, ( that right there) just put the DIL off and she is dealing with the situation now herself, she said she will not leave her hubby oooo, but she will deal with the woman.

ronkebp:

My dear, i don talk tire, i think the MIL should just back-off, and let them live their lives, i know she only has two kids and she is watching out for her sons, and my friend na one proper speree, meanwhile, her hubby is very calm and cool ( and that is what we see)on a normal day she should not have any probs with her hubby, but the woman (mil) just wants to set the tone in her son's home and the DIL is not going for it. It got to a point that the MIL was hitting the lady when she was really heavy, ( that right there) just put the DIL off and she is dealing with the situation now herself, she said she will not leave her hubby oooo, but she will deal with the woman.

WHAT??!!

That was b@ng out of order! Where was the husband whilst all this was happening? Is he a weakling or what?

If to say dem dey over here, that MIL would be done for serious assault charges!! What if the DIL lost the pregnancy or if mother and baby died in the process? Na only for Naija pessin fit do and undo. Mtcheew!

I'm sorry to say but I think that husband is really stoopid! I'm so angry reading this! Is that MIL educated sef or na from village she come? I blame the husband for all that because it's when you open the door of your marriage to outsiders, then you have no one but yourself to blame when they meddle with your matrimonial home.

I hope that woman won't mind too much if her daughter's MIL does the same to her...

I still don't get this MIL and DIL tiff. Are you saying somebody will just come to your home and start throwing tantrums just because. . .? How does the scuffle between MIL and DIL start? Or both parties just lack maturity and manners to get along?