I see this thread has taken the turn for the worse.

dot, what concerns "jail" with what we are saying. Please go and sit down.

yes,he complains constantly about being broke,i even help out .he can't afford to buy his personal stuff and even make his place look nice,and these gals don't care,all they care about is money.if the gals actually love him,they would want him to improve in his life style. and they work??they have jobs?? its shocking!!!

when he is always caught up with demands and can't improve his life style of course u know the result,

as per the last question they are above 26yrs old.
ve bin very patient,also i try to make him understand that he needs to save money to make his own home.
if i see things are not changing,my brother i'll move on.because i hear ibo gals r like that.and from theiir replies to this post its obviously true

Milky, stop making this into a tribal issue. That aside if he continues ti whine aboiut being broke and still feels the need to feed those parasites he call sister, it's best to get to stepping. People like that USUALLY dont change vene with marriage. You'll probably end up having to argue over whether you should get your kids diapers vs him sending his sisters money for their own kids.
Gosh some parents should be ashamed. I'm thankfully i wasnt raised to be a damn tick on my siblings

@ d-reloaded,

its not like i enjoy making it a tribal issue.cos i know it can happen

any where.its just dat d way some of the posters react, like am

refering to them directly.so i kind of reply according to their post.

i thank GOD that i wasn't raised to be a TICK on my siblings too.

THANX FOR UR POST

milkyway:

.its just that d way some of the posters react, like am

refering to them directly.so i kind of reply according to their post.

Such people are just looking to cause trivbal fights. You ignore them, not respond in the same likeness.

theresa 08,i do hope you are ok?stupidity and immaturity is written all over your reply.


@topic;yes milky way.its glaring that you cannot force,make,coerce or even love him into stopping to give his sisters money and you cannot live with that too,so just LEAVE.it might even be that the guy doesnt love you _{he should have at least changed for your sake} as he prefers his sisters to you.so,save yourself the stress,leave him please.

Sorry D-reloaded i never meant to come out gun blazing it was just that yours truely tried to twist some shit with me. Cheers ify

thresa8:

@romeo,Dats so not nice & uncalled for.

really?

thresa8:

I stand to be corrected, Ibo girlz are the largest in number amongst prostitutes, Go to Benin republic, Togo, Ghana, all of Africa.

Have you been to those places? , anyway i am in Europe and we know who they are!!


@poster
Stop claiming innocence on tribal issues, just have a look at your previous posts and tell me frankly if they don't smell tribalism in the highest order. Take a look at your original post.

milkyway:

Am an edo girl dating an ibo guy and he wants to maay mi,he is a very nice and sweet young man ready to do anything 4 mi.my problem is that his sisters never leave him alone,always demanding
and they kip telling him that you know its just for now by the time u get married we will stop.but we all know thats not true.
its not like he is rich or something,he is just trying to make ends meet,and they never ask him how he is faring . he is always broke because of these gals.he gives them monthly allowances and they work,they come to his house unnanouced. and to mi this is not fair at all.ve always heard that this is something about igbo gals and i can see it for myself.

milkyway:

point of correction there hot-angel. A man musn't always do what his girl wants him and tells him to do, or else she'll turn him into a first-class ode. It's a two-way thing. If the guy continues doing things the girl demands, she'll end up taking advantage of the guy and therefore lose respect for him. A girl is like a baby and must atimes be handled with a strong fist or else she'll go astray.


dts very correct,d girl will take him 4 granted if he's always at her beck and call

Milky milky na you write this?? i can't understand you anymore ehh which one you dey fight for?

The thing is that she's not married to the guy and she wants to control his bank account.
He is not a drunkard
Not a gambler
not seeing prostitutes
but spends money on his own sisters,his flesh and blood.

Milkyway,the man has not carried wine to your people,you are not desperate abi
He loves his sisters and would continue to do so

I wish my brothers gave me money

My own hubby sends his sisters and their kids money and I have no problems with it.

My advice find a man without siblings,without parents,if possible without proper descent that way you can have him all to your self

did you read where she said that he barely has money for himself, osisi? that sometimes she has to spend her OWN money to help him out?

Why would you want money from your brothers when you are working? Im sure if you and your husband were struggling deeply and every penny he came across was sent to Nigeria, I bet you'd be singing a different song.

It's obvious that you people are being biased.

D reloaded i think we are missing out something here.

for crying out loud,they are not married,just having a good time.moreover i REALLY doubt if her story of contributing money is true.i for one would not do so _{if my guy dosent have enough and yet sends money to the sisters,why should i contibute?}But if its true in any case,then shes on her own.

the solution remain this,she should LEAVE.she should not expect the guy to change.she should just LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE.

I thought the poster was married already.It all comes down to whether you think its right for a partner to determine how the other spends his/her money especially when the relationship hasn't evolved to a fully committed relationship.

D-reloaded:

[b]did you read where she said that he barely has money for himself, osisi? that sometimes she has to spend her OWN money to help him out?[/b]Why would you want money from your brothers when you are working? I'm sure if you and your husband were struggling deeply and every penny he came across was sent to Nigeria, I bet you'd be singing a different song.

It's obvious that you people are being biased.

Was this help of hers done at gun point?
let her leave him now so that she doesn't start another thread after marriage
she told us she already knows what Igbo girls are like and she is still glued to the man

I can understand a married woman complaining about her husband but someone who is not,who may just be one of the passers by wanting to change someone.
She is not yet of much significance in his life.
She can decide not to help him financially
She can infact pack her 'Ghana must go' and go

I-man:

I thought the poster was married already.It all comes down to whether you think its right for a partner to determine how the other spends his/her money especially when the relationship hasn't evolved to a fully committed relationship.

so people are only fully commited to the other when they are married?

care to explain adulterers then? why some people treat their wives/husbands worse than those in just "ordinary" relationships?

@Poster, you obviously are tribalist.did you have to tell us you are from Edo and the guy from Igbo for us to understand the story.My advice, leave the poor guy alone and find a more suitable Edo guy that will not care for his family and concentrate on you even when you are not married to him!.

@romeo, how u dey.Don't mind all these gals.Big Ups!

D-reloaded:

so people are only fully commited to the other when they are married?

care to explain adulterers then? why some people treat their wives/husbands worse than those in just "ordinary" relationships?

Marriage is clearly an expression of commitment.Non-married relationships may or not involve full commitment.That is the problem here,until they get married,there relationship is one of "may or may not be" fully committed.So, she doesn't stand on firm ground to dictate how her partner spends his money.

if they are as demanding as that, and the dude is willing to take on such a responsibility, then she needs to decide if she will be suitable for such a man/vice versa. It doesn't sound like this is a recent occurrence, so it must have been going on even before they started dating.

If she 'knows' igbo sisters the way she says, then its obvious that, according to her understanding, they will not stop. If that is the case, simply explain to the man and move on. After all they are still only 'dating' so there is a lot of time to remedy things by each person going his/her way.

IykeD:

@romeo, how u dey.Don't mind all these gals.Big Ups!

My brother i dey oo, what about you?

I-man:

.Non-married relationships may or not involve full commitment.

and the ones that do involve full commitment, does other person have a say despite the fact that they havent gone down the altar yet? Btw how do outsiders know which non-married relationship is of full commitment or not? Are their tips/hints somewhere?

D-reloaded:

and the ones that do involve full commitment, does other person have a say despite the fact that they havent gone down the altar yet? Btw how do outsiders know which non-married relationship is of full commitment or not? Are their tips/hints somewhere?

We don't know,they may not be fully committed,that is why the poster's lament is on very shaky grounds.Even if they were married,a partner's entitlement to control how the other spends money is doubtful at best,never mind when they are not even married.

I would be extremely reluctant to complain about how my wife spends her money on her siblings,even more so,if its my girlfriend.

I see what you mean. Well my question wasnt really about the OP, just in general to the lame comments stating a person doesnt have a say in a relationship until they are married.

Romeo and nwando chai!!! this is a case of trying to send a man that love his family to the milkyway galaxy. If my brother don't give me money no more then he having it from me! i will always spend my brother monies pure and simple

milky, you better run before you end up with parasites like dot as in-laws

Eureka . . . i have it. D-reloaded just has to be TOH back in disguise. The style of writing - unmistakable, the signature and the Jyork. How did it take so long to figure that out. Welcome back from obantalapipi's gulag.

Let no one tell me i got this permutation wrong.

@ dot
If my brother don't give me money no more then he having it from me! i will always spend my brother monies pure and simple

its obvious u r ready to be a TICK all your life!!!

caring less if ur broda's eat or not----such love,

way to go!!!!

thumbs up!!!

The thing is that she's not married to the guy and she wants to control his bank account.
He is not a drunkard
Not a gambler
not seeing prostitutes
but spends money on his own sisters,his flesh and blood.

Milkyway,the man has not carried wine to your people,you are not desperate abi
He loves his sisters and would continue to do so

I wish my brothers gave me money       

My own hubby sends his sisters and their kids money and I have no problems with it.


no one is controlling anyones bank account

what if your hubby sends moni to his sisters and her kids to detriment of himself and family? can't pay your kids school fees, pay the rent,or put food on your table? of course you will be singing a different song??.and we r talking about gals that work!!!

lastly, your husbands brother- inlaws shuld be ashamed of themselves because they r men like u hubby,and can't  afford to take of their own family? unless something went wrong along the way.GOD FORBID MY BROTHER TO DEPEND ON ME AND MY HUSBAND TO SURVIVE!!!!!, SUCH A SHAME

@ I-MAN

We don't know,they may not be fully committed,that is why the poster's lament is on very shaky grounds.Even if they were married,a partner's entitlement to control how the other spends money is doubtful at best,never mind when they are not even married.

I would be extremely reluctant to complain about how my wife spends her money on her siblings,even more so,if its my girlfriend

COMMITTMENT IS COMITTMENT,ESP WEN U R TOWING THE LINE TOWARDS MARRIAGE.TINY PROBLEMS TEND TO GET BIGGER BY THE TIME U GET MARRIED.IF I WAIT UNTIL MARRIAGE AND HIS WAY OF LIFE CONTINUES LIKE THIS IT WILL GO 4 THE WORST COS,KIDS R INVOLVED,A FAMILY HAS STARTED AND THESE TICKS WONT STOP COMING.THEN WEN U OPEN UR MOUTH TO COMPLAIN PEOPLES REPLIES WOULD BE;DID U NOT SEE D SIGNS WEN U WERE DATING?,Y DIDNT U TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT THEN? SO HE WILL CONROL IT.BY THEN ITS TOO LATE!SO I DONT UNDERSTAND UR POINT! THIS APPLIES TO EVERYTHING THAT LEADS TO BUILDING A HOME TOGETHER

WOMEN DONT OPEN THEIR EYES AND GET INTO AN ABUSIVE MARRIAGE,THEY ALWAYS CONSOLE THEM SELVES WITH;HE WILL CHANGE FOR THE BETTER ITS ONLY A LITTLE TEMPER .AT THE END ,THE MAN TURNS INTO A TERRORIST IN THE HOME,AND A WIFE BATTERER.BECOS SHE KEPT QUIET ABOUT IT AND DIDNT MAKE HIM SEE THE WRONG IN IT.

Cheer up, cool babe know when they are not in the right,headstrong ones just suffer more in the hands of men, just pray God give you a good man and respect men for being men. Or is it? I dey really vex o o, Nigerian ladies, i dey really vex eh vex vex vex ve ve ve ve vex eh

[s][size=8pt][i]no one is controlling anyones bank account

what if your hubby sends moni to his sisters and her kids to detriment of himself and family? can't pay your kids school fees, pay the rent,or put food on your table? of course you will be singing a different song??.and we r talking about gals that work!!!

lastly, your husbands brother- inlaws shuld be ashamed of themselves because they r men like u hubby,and can't afford to take of their own family? unless something went wrong along the way.GOD FORBID MY BROTHER TO DEPEND ON ME AND MY HUSBAND TO SURVIVE!!!!!, SUCH A SHAME[/s]


Must you answer every replies to your post. To me nairaland is a very good place to look for advice, but for such advice, it might be good or bad and is left for you to pick from such advices. to me oooo" you are taking every issues too serious anf if you think you have answers to your problems them why are you here.

people have different love for pple in there lives, but is left for you as am individual to diferentiat that love and draw line when it matters. You have not told us how your bf grew up with his siblings the maybe very close b4 or maybe they have an impact is his life which he feels he is indebted to them. but i dont think he is a fool, cos if you said he is a caring person i dont see him failing his resposiblity as a husband when the time comes. and if such sisters are good pple and the want the good of there brother they will not push him to do what he cannot afford. or maybe are you sure he is not the one giving them the impression that he has?

You sounded like a diffcult person who will not want her husband to have anything to do with his families, remeber all fingers are not equall and be happy that your bf or your husband to be will have to give pple, but not as a fool cos i believe is blessed to give than to recieve. Relax your mind and be friendly with his sisters thank God you have not made any complain about the mum, as for the sisters just relax and live the 4 time been cos i believe they are women and whats goes around comes around.and my last word for you is be nice and relax your mind and have a good hearth, and stop making the issue a tribal issue is everywhere. Iam niether Ibo or Edo just want to say my own

david, I thought you were smart. took you that long eh? O ma se o

milkyway:

COMMITTMENT IS COMITTMENT,ESP WEN You R TOWING THE LINE TOWARDS MARRIAGE.TINY PROBLEMS TEND TO GET BIGGER BY THE TIME You GET MARRIED.IF I WAIT UNTIL MARRIAGE AND HIS WAY OF LIFE CONTINUES LIKE THIS IT WILL GO 4 THE WORST COS,KIDS R INVOLVED,A FAMILY HAS STARTED AND THESE TICKS WONT STOP COMING.THEN WEN You OPEN UR MOUTH TO COMPLAIN PEOPLES REPLIES WOULD BE;DID You NOT SEE D SIGNS WEN You WERE DATING?,Y DIDNT You TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT THEN? SO HE WILL CONROL IT.BY THEN ITS TOO LATE!SO I DONT UNDERSTAND UR POINT! THIS APPLIES TO EVERYTHING THAT LEADS TO BUILDING A HOME TOGETHER

Lol. Very true. But you should know by now that Nigerians contradict themselves 24/7.

floreb:



Must you answer every replies to your post. To me nairaland is a very good place to look for advice, but for such advice, it might be good or bad and is left for you to pick from such advices. to me oooo" you are taking every issues too serious anf if you think you have answers to your problems them why are you here.

It beats me