I think part of the difficulty is that you appear to go to a basically white Catholic church? If I'm reading you correctly?

Most of the Yoruba Christians I know in the US are protestant...Redeemed, Anglican, Baptist, things like that. So you've taken yourself off the market to some extent by not being visible at the churches that Yoruba Christians mostly attend in the US.

I know that you are Catholic, but maybe start attending extra service once a week at the churches Yoruba Christians go to

Here is a listing of the RCCGs, for example: http://www.rccgna.org/

oyewolejos: I understand what the OP is saying and sadly gone are the days when Naija men in the US will work their ass off to provide for their family. Is now a norm to see able men sitting down at home while their wives/gf will go to work. As a man my heart bleeds whenever i see this trend. The OP is just stating the obvious. But OP wait for your time as ur desperation might bring some shaddy people towards your way. Look before u leap

that kind of trait is not new to yoruba men. I remember the time i was working in Lagos Island, where you'd see some lazy azz yoruba men sitting down all day smoking weed and drinking kpalaga while their wives were transporting loads on their head for those Igbo business men. I also noticed that most succesful business owners competing with Igbo guys there were owned by yoruba women. Yoruba men are too lazy. An average Igbo man will rather die in hunger than depend on a woman for his daily sustenance without bringing anything to the table. Therefore, switheart if you truly need a man who does not give a damn abt your money, pray that God gives you an Igbo man. But something tells me you are a bloke azz beetch looking for a rich niqqqa to milk dry with no sugar.

@OP

I wish you success with your find.

I'd like to read about it many years from now.

acidtalk:

You must be some kind of follow follow mumu. So because everyone is baslessly insulting her and insinuating what she never meant I should also join the dumb bandwagon.

Check my post on this forum and you will notice that I NEVER FOLLOW THE EMPTY HEADED CROWD BUT ALWAYS FOLLOW THE FEW ONES WITH A FUNCTIONAL BRAIN IN THEIR SKULL.

Most of you never took out time to read through her post and assimilate it well but rather just read through replies and decided to follow suit.


Naija people and foolish sentiments.

guy am sorry 4 u,is pple like u dat allow women 2 take control of dem jus because dey r doin beta dan u economically,u sound like a woman wrapper

If u ar serious,i knw som1 of ur opposit sex wit d same need bt he's nt yoruba bt a catholic nd in additn he considers respect nd height as paramount nd b truthful abt ur age.As 4 him,he'll b 35yrs on d 10th of Sept. Cal me on dis line because i may nt visit dis thread again : 08034387277.My name is JohnPaul.Bt abv all ask the Holy Spirit t guide u.

zsd

Hi, interesting topic

aqedw

i understand you are lookin for a real man. one that can hold up his head high and take care of you and the kids. a man who will be the man and let you feel he's the man. but you got to lower your financial standards a little. what if you find one meetin your pocket standards but who doesn't love you? you career girls like to have it your own way. money can also fly away no matter how smart you are. do not let money ruin the rest of your days

My advise is, look for a hard working and honest man and not neccessarily someone of your financial equality or something. Things change and can change rapidly.

my dozie: If u ar serious,i knw som1 of ur opposit sex wit d same need bt he's nt yoruba bt a catholic nd in additn he considers respect nd height as paramount nd b truthful abt ur age.As 4 him,he'll b 35yrs on d 10th of Sept. Cal me on dis line because i may nt visit dis thread again : 08034387277.My name is JohnPaul.Bt abv all ask the Holy Spirit t guide u.

Now your options are coming. Even you have your Catholic brother. Hope you meet his criteria too? Goodluck to you both.

desari: @find out

I know there are many decent akata and oyinbos but it is so much different dating a nigerian man. I can feel free to watch my yoruba movies, without him asking me questions all the time about what they are saying (if there are no subitles) i can feel free to cook my ila asepo with all sorts of assorted meat, stock fish and iru( without the person thinking it is stinky) I can feel free to cook my egusi and efo riro without any weird comments. I can discuss business proposals with a naija man in a way that a oyinbo man or akata man will never understand. we can discuss naija politics e.t.c it is just so much sweeter being with a nigerian in my opinion.

I have had a few oyinbos promising me cars, houses, anything i wanted if i would marry them, but i just can't see myself saying "till death do us part" with a oyinbo/akata man.

Lol. I get your point sha. Good Nigerian men are there. I pray you meet the right one.

c.fours:
I am laughing as I post because all my own yoruba male friends who are financially well off are very cosmopolitan and open minded to the extent that at least half of them are dating akata or oyinbo. Majority of them could care less about yoruba movies or stock fish so you really need to learn to let go of the stock fish and efo riro, my dear. Learn some American recipes, make some American friends, and stop limiting yourself.

But, if you're still hell bent on yoruba guys, and clearly the guys are not lining up at your door, my best advice to you is to make friends with their middle aged parents. If they get impressed with you enough, they will introduce you to their sons, nephews or friends. Most of them are trying all their best to convince their sons or relatives to marry nigerian anyway.

some people advice you to go to rccg or naija church and parties. Well, most of the yoruba guys you will find at these naija parties or churches are FOB/ local types. Ones who just came to the US 4-5yrs ago and are still struggling to establish themselves financially. They may even be looking for a desperate nigerian girl to mooch off. even if they are settled financially, chances are that they are also settled in the spouse dept. THere are a ton of women like you hunting for the same few men FYI.

At this point I will give credit to igbo women because they are the best at acculturating. I've met a good number of very successful oyibo/akata/non-nigerian men (college professor at an ivy league sch, lawyer, NGO executive etc) who upon meeting me have proudly told me that they have a nigerian wife. In 100% of these cases, the wife have always been igbo.( and no, it's not at all about beauty because i've met some of these women lol) It's also not rare obviously that you find some igbo women married to a Yoruba guy. These men will go on and on and seem to know all the igbo foods, igbo greetings etc under the sun. I guess it's really just an igbo trait to be sharp about matters like these.

If you're finding your standards impossible to meet,as your topic title implies, why not lower it? you are almost 30 already. It's only going to get harder....

[quote
author=sexkillz]Op, when
you get to 42 years of age, the men on your level will practically be
at your doorstep, and that will be the best time to look for that needle
in the hay stack. . .


Smh.
[/quote]

lwkmd

c.fours:
I am laughing as I post because all my own yoruba male friends who are financially well off are very cosmopolitan and open minded to the extent that at least half of them are dating akata or oyinbo. Majority of them could care less about yoruba movies or stock fish so you really need to learn to let go of the stock fish and efo riro, my dear. Learn some American recipes, make some American friends, and stop limiting yourself.

But, if you're still hell bent on yoruba guys, and clearly the guys are not lining up at your door, my best advice to you is to make friends with their middle aged parents. If they get impressed with you enough, they will introduce you to their sons, nephews or friends. Most of them are trying all their best to convince their sons or relatives to marry nigerian anyway.

some people advice you to go to rccg or naija church and parties. Well, most of the yoruba guys you will find at these naija parties or churches are FOB/ local types. Ones who just came to the US 4-5yrs ago and are still struggling to establish themselves financially. They may even be looking for a desperate nigerian girl to mooch off. even if they are settled financially, chances are that they are also settled in the spouse dept. THere are a ton of women like you hunting for the same few men FYI.

At this point I will give credit to igbo women because they are the best at acculturating. I've met a good number of very successful oyibo/akata/non-nigerian men (college professor at an ivy league sch, lawyer, NGO executive etc) who upon meeting me have proudly told me that they have a nigerian wife. In 100% of these cases, the wife have always been igbo.( and no, it's not at all about beauty because i've met some of these women lol) It's also not rare obviously that you find some igbo women married to a Yoruba guy. These men will go on and on and seem to know all the igbo foods, igbo greetings etc under the sun. I guess it's really just an igbo trait to be sharp about matters like these.

If you're finding your standards impossible to meet,as your topic title implies, why not lower it? you are almost 30 already. It's only going to get harder....

Well said Bro.

pharmking:


MISSY I THINK YOU ARE GOING ABOUT YOUR PARTNER SEARCH THE WRONG WAY. YOU ARE ALSO ASSUMING TWO THINGS THAT SHOULD NOT BE. I'M NOT YORUBA NOR NIGERIAN BUT I HAVE NIGERIA FRIENDS AND DATED A FEW NIGERIAN WOMEN.
1. YOU NEED TO STOP THINKING THAT A GOOD PARTNER WILL ALWAYS BE A NIGERIAN YORUBA MAN. YOU ARE BETTER OFF CONSIDERING ANY AFRICAN MAN, JUDGING THEM BY BEHAVIORS, PRINCIPLES AND POTENTIALS. MY MUM KICKED ME IN THE HEAD ON MY 31ST BIRTHDAY AS I WAS TELLING HER THAT I WILL ONLY MARRY A GIRL FROM TOGO. NOW I'M ABOUT TO GET ENGAGED WITH A GIRL FROM CAMEROON. SHE IS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPENNED TO ME. SMOOTH RELATIONSHIP AND ALL. I HAVE FRIENDS I CAN HOOK YOU UP TO BUT THEY ARE NOT NIGERIANS. PM ME I WILL SEND YOU A BOOK FOR YOU TO READ THAT WILL HELP YOU...
2. YOU NEED TO STOP ASSUMING THAT YOU ARE MAKING MORE MONEY THAT ANY GUY YOU MEET. GUYS LIE ABOUT WHAT THEY DO TO MAKE SURE THE GIRL THEY MEET LIKE THEM FOR THEM ( AT LEAST THE SERIOUS ONE...I HAVE DONE THAT IN THE PAST). MODEST PEOPLE THAT MAKE A LOT OF MONEY DON'T OVERDO THINGS. THEY DRESS DECENT AND SAVE THEIR LOAD OF CASH.
3. PLEASE IN THE UNITED STATES, A WOMEN SHOULD NOT WAIT ON HER HUSBAND TO PROVIDE MONEY FOR FOOD AND SO AND SO. PEOPLE SIT DOWN AND MAKE BUDGET AND SHARE EXPENSES FOR THE WELLBEING OF THE FAMILY. PEOPLE THAT HAVE DIFFERENCES IN INCOME DO HAVE A COMMON ACCOUNT WHERE EITHER THE MAN OR THE WOMEN PUT 50% OF THEIR INCOME FOR FAMILY EXPENSES. THE REST IS SEPARATELY MANAGE BY EACH INDIVIDUALS.
4. AS FOR WHERE TO MEET PEOPLE IN NYC, YOU NEED TO GET OUT MORE. NOT GOING TO CLUB AND THAT BUT TO PLACES WHERE YOU CAN ACTUALLY MEET PEOPLE WITH HEAD ON THEIR SHOULDER... IF YOU ARE IN THE BRONX OR BK, THERE ARE A LOT OF NIGERIAN CONGREGATIONS.. NOT CATHOLIC THOUGH. THE BEST WAY TO ALSO FIND SOMEONE IS THROUGH FRIENDS. DO DIFFERENT ACTIVITIES, LOCATE GYM THAT AFRICAN GO TO...

You are on point...

@Desari- if ur story is true,then dont u tink y u are still searching is because u 've misplaced sometin (liketerms attracts).I blive d kind of people u attract is only a reflection of who u truely are.I ve also discovered from bks dat every time u see a late single(male or female),sometin has gone wrong with their thoughts;eg placement of life priorities,blive, association,etc. For instance,Desari u want a man dat could keep 50% of total bills at d standard u have set-instead of a man dat can manager a home building up d little he has over time to become large,dat xplains ur search in clubs,etc7.wat if u get a man who cld pick 100% bills today but tomoro cant care for himself?wat do u really want in marriage?wat matters most to u on d longrun?is it all abt d now?we all know how important finance is in marriage but marriage isnt all abt finance like 100%:wat abt values-unity of goals-integrity-true compatibility*my dear some other tins can make u want to live again only if u can b true to urself and place ur priorities right.may i also tell u dat if ur idea on relationship was rigth u wont have a problem on getting a life partner regardless of where u live.maybe u need change ur perception on marriage and have a little retink.Everybody is met for somebody but if u ever meet depends on u;ur ideas.(bad as it may,u didnt just start meeting Nija men today)

desari: @find out

I know there are many decent akata and oyinbos but it is so much different dating a nigerian man. I can feel free to watch my yoruba movies, without him asking me questions all the time about what they are saying (if there are no subitles) i can feel free to cook my ila asepo with all sorts of assorted meat, stock fish and iru( without the person thinking it is stinky) I can feel free to cook my egusi and efo riro without any weird comments. I can discuss business proposals with a naija man in a way that a oyinbo man or akata man will never understand. we can discuss naija politics e.t.c it is just so much sweeter being with a nigerian in my opinion.

I have had a few oyinbos promising me cars, houses, anything i wanted if i would marry them, but i just can't see myself saying "till death do us part" with a oyinbo/akata man.

I no dey chop jor!...which kind levels self?

Oyinbo man dey promise house?...chei! why you dey lie like this na? baby why?

You are in your late 20s maa'm. Much of what you mentioned can only be afforded by 60 year old stupendously wealthy Sugar daddies whose preference will normally be for 19 year old stunning models. ....no dey serve us cold zobo abeg!

And on top that self, Oyinbo man no dey make promise like that just cos they'd want to be with you, except they think of you to be a gold digger....an assertion which of course you have denied severally.

If you were really good looking and pleasurable to be with, I would wonder why getting a suitable man must be this difficult. Do you not have any black female friends/colleagues, who consider you pleasurable enough to introduce to their well to do friends, brothers, cousins...? Or are they all too miserable for you to --for the lack of a better word-- prey on?

.

Hi Deseri, i dont want to reply at first because i know you're disappointed by what you re reading here. we all have differnt point of view. Well, I have a brother and he's a yoruba from osun state. he's hardworking and a responsible man. he doesnt need your money or anything from you. if you dont mind i would advise you to try him that is if you wish but all i will say is that he's God fearing. call me lets talk better. 08074871094. goodluck dear

am sure dat dose who gave d lady in questn a bad reply sayin dat she's rubbishin naija men wil neva b a gud husband 2 their partner,may d almighty gve u ur husband and pls don't rush cos 99 percent of naija guys are fraudsters and their girls too.don't let dem turn u 2 an atm machine.there are gud one's anyway bt becareful and watchful.God wil lead u

Most men that will meet your criteria are already taken.
The few ones left are hard to comeby...
Goodluck with your search.

Wow, op is getting a lot of negativity. I don't think she is ridiculous. This reminds me of a really good friend who's turning 33 this year. A 5 yr relationship ended last year and she's back on the market but won't date a guy who's younger than her even by a year. He also has to be black, preferably Nigerian. As she's getting older, she's getting less picky lol.

Op, like others have suggested, expand your horizons and put yourself out there. Money isn't everything and sometimes a man may not be able to pull his weight financially atm but that doesn't mean u should write him off.

desari: @hotshot_peter

Nah, definitely not a gold digger...just want someone who can bring as much to the table as i do. Of couse it is not all about money, but there is no way i am taking care of a grown a.s.s man.

Thanks for your civility, i wish you good luck as well in all your future endeavours.

chai chineke! u are calling ur unknown future husband grown a*ss?. Maybe u gat a problem. And u also referred to the other tribe of urs as "something else". I am sorry ur problems are numerous, Madam.

Timmmy: Hi Deseri, i dont want to reply at first because i know you're disappointed by what you re reading here. we all have differnt point of view. Well, I have a brother and he's a yoruba from osun state. he's hardworking and a responsible man. he doesnt need your money or anything from you. if you dont mind i would advise you to try him that is if you wish but all i will say is that he's God fearing. call me lets talk better. 08074871094. goodluck dear

call u or call ur brother, Which one?

Find Out!:



Lol. I get your point sha. Good Nigerian men are there. I pray you meet the right one.

Yes...there are.

c.fours:
c.fours:
I am laughing as I post because all my own yoruba male friends who are financially well off are very cosmopolitan and open minded to the extent that at least half of them are dating akata or oyinbo. Majority of them could care less about yoruba movies or stock fish so you really need to learn to let go of the stock fish and efo riro, my dear. Learn some American recipes, make some American friends, and stop limiting yourself.

But, if you're still hell bent on yoruba guys, and clearly the guys are not lining up at your door, my best advice to you is to make friends with their middle aged parents. If they get impressed with you enough, they will introduce you to their sons, nephews or friends. Most of them are trying all their best to convince their sons or relatives to marry nigerian anyway.

some people advice you to go to rccg or naija church and parties. Well, most of the yoruba guys you will find at these naija parties or churches are FOB/ local types. Ones who just came to the US 4-5yrs ago and are still struggling to establish themselves financially. They may even be looking for a desperate nigerian girl to mooch off. even if they are settled financially, chances are that they are also settled in the spouse dept. THere are a ton of women like you hunting for the same few men FYI.

At this point I will give credit to igbo women because they are the best at acculturating. I've met a good number of very successful oyibo/akata/non-nigerian men (college professor at an ivy league sch, lawyer, NGO executive etc) who upon meeting me have proudly told me that they have a nigerian wife. In 100% of these cases, the wife have always been igbo.( and no, it's not at all about beauty because i've met some of these women lol) It's also not rare obviously that you find some igbo women married to a Yoruba guy. These men will go on and on and seem to know all the igbo foods, igbo greetings etc under the sun. I guess it's really just an igbo trait to be sharp about matters like these.

If you're finding your standards impossible to meet,as your topic title implies, why not lower it? you are almost 30 already. It's only going to get harder....

People who want to be in a healthy relationship will marry/date someone that is compatible to them. I am not saying that they ust have the same income, culture, race, religion, and political views. I am saying that you will meet someone that is not what you expected but makes you happy and completes you. That's more important than having someone that must fulfill all requirements.

Although people make claims that there are more women than men which in most cases true...however there is plenty of men that are good and ready to love a woman but not given a chance because he doesn't look like a model or his left eye is lazy. The reason why people are lonely and sad is because they are expecting too much and looking for the wrong things.

It is okay to have your wants but what more important than needs? There are a lot of wants that I want in a man but when I wised up and focused on the needs....I met a man that encompasses everything and more. So what we doesn't share the same culture or traditions, but we compliments and completes each other. That's priceless.

I will say that age doesn't prevent people from finding love but ignorance does. If she was 45 years old and continues being ignorant she will still have the same issues as if she was 22 years old. My granny always said growing older doesn't make you wiser if you are still a fool. I am sure she will meet an Yoruba guy....but would he compliments and completes her? To be continued.....

One thing I want to share with the men....when women start making unrealistic list about what a man should have and etc....she is insecure and afraid. If she has been rejected a few times....it makes the phobia worse but it can be rectified if she is willing to let go and embrace the flow as it is.

I didn't limit myself what type of black man I would date/marry and i set very basic and simple expectations and increases my open mindedness. I am grateful that I did otherwise...I wouldn't be Mrs. Chima today.

I know I wrote a book but I just feel like my sisters are their worst enemies sometimes and the cycle has to stop.

Open mindedness isnt only about dating- dont know why this is commonly the only context in which it's mentioned.

Eyin boiz won ni ki e wa ise kun ise apa yin o. Won ni i love U̶̲̥̅̊ tori torun would not do.

Pls call dis number 08132705347 or let me on facebook username: Imoh Kalemba, I will tell u wat to do.

sosoluv:
Don't blame ur inadequacy on us, if you are not what she is looking for insulting us or any other female on this forum will not make u eligible for any of us. Go build Urself until u are satisfied with ur own life. Taking out ur anger on women because u don't feel confident about Urself will not change anything about you neither will it miraculous change the little that's in ur bank account if you have anything at all. My advise to u get a life and starting taking responsibility. If you have nothing to offer that she expects, just shut up. Thank you!

@Soso*.
yu ve got a message