A mother was lucky enuf to c her 3 daughters
get married the same year.So she called them
after the weddin & told dem ''dont 4get to text
me ur 1st nite experience & text itin code''.So
after a wik ,the 1st daughter
texted''NESCAFE'' and the 2nd texted
''BENSON'',the mama bein intelligent
woman,went to get a nescafe tin and read the
label''fantastic till the last drop'',went her
husbands pack of Benson cigarette and
read''Extra long,king size''she smiled and
said,''not bad for their ages''.After a wik,the
3rd daughter texted''NAIROBI-
MOMBASA''.The mama thn called KQ
helpdesk to enquire about their Nairobi-
Mombasa flight and they replied,''its 3 tym
daily,7 days a wik,and thre flight duration is
75 mins''
*the mum fainted*

The Geographical map of a woman.
Between 18 and 20, a woman is like
Africa. Half discovered, half-wild,
naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.
Between 21 and 30, a woman is like
America. Well developed and open to
trade, especially for someone with cash.
Between 31 and 35, she is like India. Very
hot, relaxed and convinced of her own
beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like
France. Gently aging but st...ill a warm and
desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, she is like Yugoslavia.
Lost the war, haunted by past mistakes.
Massive reconstruction is now necessary.
Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia,
Very wide and borders are un-patrolled.
The frigid climate keeps people away.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like
Mongolia. A glorious and all conquering
past but alas, no future.
After 70, they become like Afghanistan.
Everyone knows where it is, but no one
wants to go there.

A nun was going to Chicago. She went to the
airport and sat down waiting for her flight. She
looked over in the corner and saw one of those
weight machines
that tells your weight and fortune. So, she
thought to
herself, "I'll give it a try just to see what it tells
me."
She went over to the machine and put her
nickel in and out came a card that said,
"You're a nun and
weigh 128 lb., and you are going to Chicago,
Illinois."
She sat back down and thought about it. She
told herself it probably tells everyone the same
thing, but decided to try it again. She went
back to the machine and put her nickel in. Out
came a card that read,
"You're a nun, weigh 128 lb., you're going to
Chicago, Illinois and you are going to play a
fiddle."
The nun said to herself, "I know that's wrong,
I have never played a musical instrument in my
life." She sat back down. From nowhere a
cowboy came over and set his fiddle case down
next to her. She picked it up and just started
playing beautiful music. Startled she looked
back at the machine and said,
"This is incredible. I've got to try it again."
Back to the machine, she put her nickel in and
another card came out. It said,
"You're a nun, you
weigh 128 lb., you're going to Chicago, Illinois
and you're going to break wind."
Now, the nun knows the machine is wrong.
"I've
never broken wind in public a day in my life. "
Well, she tripped getting off the scale and
broke wind. Stunned she sat back down and
looked at the
machine. She said to herself, "This is truly
unbelievable! I've got to try it again." She went
back to the machine, put her nickel in and
collected the card. It said,
"You're a nun, you weigh 128 lb., you have
fiddled and farted around and missed your
plane to Chicago.

Gulder Ultimate Search 9
Theme: The Search for Boko Haram
Locations: Yobe, Kaduna, Plateau, Bauchi.....
Date: coming soon... =))º˚˚ºнaĦaнaº˚°º=))!

3 men were discussing the things they saw in
their daughters rooms...the 1st 1 Sbenyenye said
"i saw a cigarrete in her room,i cant believe she
smokes"
The 2nd one named Mokox said "i saw a bottle
of beer in her room,i cant believe she drinks"
The 3rd guy named Lefax said with a love sigh
"i saw a condom in my daughters room,i really
cant believe she has a penis"

just after visiting his friends, little
johnny was passing by the road.
He suddenly met a young huge
man on the road and asked him
''Excuze me sir....What's the time?''
The huge man replied ''15minutes to 3pm.''
Then johnny told him
''When it hits 3.00pm you should
kiss my ass!'' The annoyed man
started to chase him away and
little johnny ran so fast. As he was
still chasing johnny, he met an old man on the
way who stopped this
huge man and asked him 'Why are
you chasing this young boy?' While
still panting heavily, the huge man
replied 'This stupid boy told me to
kiss his ass at exactly 3.00pm!' The old man
looked at his watch and
told the big man ''Relax man ...
Dont be in a hurry... You still have
8more minutes to do it!''

Ekaite: Doctor, my menstrual flow is having a
brownish color. Is it an
infection?
Doctor: How many times do you have sex.
Ekaite: At least twice a year.
Doctor: It is not infection. It is RUST.
Looolz....

A man buys a set of pants for his wife while
returning from a trip and shows it to her. The
woman says,
"My boss will complain that I
wear the same pant everyday".
Husband Faints.

A drunk phoned the local police
department to report that thieves
had been in his car. “They have
stolen the dashboard, the steering
wheel, the brake pedal, even the
accelerator,” he cried out. However, before the
police
investigation could start, the
phone rang a second time, and
the same voice came over the
line. “Never mind,” the drunk said
with a hiccup. “I got in the back seat by
mistake.

For those who know nothing about satisfying
a woman:
The G spot is
located at the end of the word shoppinG

After a Car Acident,
The Following ensured between Chinoz the drive
and a policeman ...
Policeman: Man, how did u kill 50 people in a
car accident?
Chinoz: i was driving at about 120km/h, when i
tried to stop i found that i had no brakes. i saw
2 men walking onthe street and a wedding on d
other side of d street, who should i
hit?
Policeman: of course the 2 men,less damage.
Chinoz: that's what i
thought to myself, but when i did it, i hit only
one and the other one ran to the wedding, SO I
DROVE AFTER FOLLOWING HIM...

guy, pesin never comment and laugh for your "jokes" and you still dey post epistles. You no dey tire ni?

jackpot: guy, pesin never comment and laugh for your "jokes" and you still dey post epistles. You no dey tire ni?

aturu...dis transgendered u no dey taya ni...yaba left hv neva bn the same since u left...they miss u!

lalaosky:
aturu...dis transgendered u no dey taya ni...yaba left hv neva bn the same since u left...they miss u!

awwww. . .your comment is so sexy. Thanks for the compliment.

BTW, I havent got time to read your biography you juss posted here.
Maybe I'll read it during my free time.

Or, do you care to summarize??

lalaosky: For those who know nothing about satisfying
a woman:
The G spot is
located at the end of the word shoppinG

there are many g spots.....heading, cooking,.........etc.ing

bin gbagbo: OVER ALL JOKE GRADING: C


REMARKS:Many are copy-copy; try and compose your own jokes; search for Gbagbolosophy it will help you.


REWARD: 2 nights with Jackpot

guy u no do well o..how u wan put me together wt dat rap.er in female clothing..fakea.ss joke defence wey no fit catch cheap shots thrown @him...

jackpot: awwww. . .your comment is so sexy. Thanks for the compliment.

BTW, I havent got time to read your biography you juss posted here.
Maybe I'll read it during my free time.

Or, do you care to summarize??

pls feel free to read ur destiny up dia afta milkin dos diseased epileptic cows in ur family's hut...by the way dont forget to wash dos gigantic pot wey una dey use cuk for buka...ode!

Teacher: I need errybody to put Homework on
the table now!! m checking! Mokox: here..
Smarty: here..
Skapi: here..
Regie: here..
Pappu: here..
Teacher: Lefax whr is your homework??
Lefax: Sir its at home..
Teacher: But wad is it doin at home when you
are here??
Lefax: you said homework so I left it at
home,now give me classwork so I do it here in
class!!

jackpot: kiss my hairy clit!

if na konji dey hold u dey spill it out...mtcheeeewwww...thanks by the way but i think i will pass

Teacher: the principal is concerned about the
school premises,he says the school is dirty,nd he
says we shud hear out ideas in which we shud
kip the school clean frm you as the students
Mokox: we shud hav general cleaning weekly
Lunchbox: we shud not bring our snacks in thr
plastics but put them in containers
Pappu: the numbr of dust bins shud be
increased
Teacher: gud ideas guys Lefax what do you say?
Lefax: I thnk if we all stayd home then the
school will be clean without evn a single piece of
dirt.

bin gbagbo: [color=#006600][b] OVER ALL JOKE GRADING: C


REMARKS:Many are copy-copy; try and compose your own jokes; search for Gbagbolosophy it will help you.


REWARD: 2 nights with Jackpot

.
.
Laff wan make me shout Asala malekun for inside Church

Last Sunday in church,
everybody was praying
as usual. Telling God his
or her own problem.
On one end was a young
girl. She was very
agitated. Shouting and
praying that God should
help her with two
thousand naira.
At the same time, one
desperate looking man at
the back of the church
was quietly asking God to
help him with with fifty
million naira.
The young girl was
getting louder and more
persistent with her
request. Shouting,
jumping and begging God to please help
her with two thousand
naira.
The desperate man at
the back now went to
her and asked;
ah ah, na
only you God go hear?. Young Lady, what's
your problem
now?.
The girl replied that she
needed the two thousand
naira badly.
The man hissed loudly,
took two thousand naira
from his pocket and said;
Abeg, take this and be
quiet, so that God can concentrate!

A group of scientists organised a competition to
test the intelligence of Nigerian students in
inventing things. On the grand finalle, three
students were called form the crowd to come
and present what they invented. The first
student went there and said; I am Ademola
Idowu from Lagos, i invented a biro that can
write what people are saying on a paper itself.
he practicalised it and was applauded. The next
student went there and said; i am Chikere
Amara from Enugu, i invented a chip that can
tell the amount of money in the pocket of
anyone standing close to it, she practicalised it
and was applauded". The third student went
there and said;
i am Haliru Yaro from Kaduna,
i invented an explosive that can shatter the
human body into a million pieces, penetrating
the hardest of bones. Can you allow me to sit
down,
while i practicalise it?. The chief scientist stood
up and said;
don't bother to practicalise it,
you are the winner of this competition

Guy, you no dey tire, na who go dey read all dis compositions

OMG !!!!! I was in the public toilets
and had just sat down, a voice
from the next cubicle said
"Hi!, how are you ?"
Embarrassed, I said,
"I'm doing fine".
The voice said "So what are you up to ?".
I said, "Just doing the same as you,
sitting here !".
From next door,
"Can I come over?".
Annoyed, I said " rather busy right now".
The voice said, "Listen, i will have
to call you back, there's an idiot
next door answering all my
questions".

bunmioguns: Guy, you no dey tire, na who go dey read all dis compositions

Lmao. Help me tell am oo. Him go dey think say we don't want him "progress"

jor ooooo

An Assistant Pastor was caught stealing from
the church safe by a Choir Master. The pastor
said; Blessed are those who see, but don't talk.
The Choir Master replied; For they shall receive
their own share

Three guys went down to Ikeja one night, got
drunk and woke up in jail. They found out
that they were to be executed for their crimes
but none of them remembered what they had
done. The first one was strapped in the electric
chair and was asked if he had any last words.
He said;
I am a priest and I believe in the almighty power
of God to intervene on behalf of the innocent.
They threw the switch, nothing happened;
figuring God does not want this guy to die, they
took him out. The second guy was strapped in
and gives his last words;
I am an attorney,
I believe in the eternal power of Justice to
intervene on the part of the innocent.
The switch was thrown, again nothing
happened. Figuring the law is on this guy's
side, they took him out. The last guy was
strapped in and said;
I am an electrical engineer,
Let me tell you, you will never electrocute
anybody, if you don't connect those two wires

jackpot: ^Lmao. Help me tell am oo. Him go dey think say we don't want him "progress"

jor ooooo

bumi and jackpot, wetin b una problem...aite my epistles r dry and so f.uckin wot...its my thread and if i want to kip updating more epistles then so be it...u guys dont pay 4my internet bills...free me jare...pests!

headquarters. "Hello?" "Hello, is
this FBI?"
"Yes. What do you want?"
"I'm calling to report my neighbor
Tom. He is hiding marijuana in his firewood."
"This will be noted.
" Next day, the
FBI comes over to Tom's house. They search
the shed where the firewood is kept, break every
piece of wood, find no marijuana, swear at
Tom and leave.
The phone rings at Tom's house.
"Hey, Tom! Did the FBI come?"
"Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood?"
"Yeah they did."
"Okay, now it's
your turn to call.
I need my garden plowed."