Who wants to be a Millionaire?
Imagine an ATM machine dispensing cash
without anybody in front of it while u are
passing by.
What would u do?
... A. Notify a staff of the bank.
B. Cancel the operation.
C. Press continue.
D. Walk away.

El Guapo: Good work -- Keep Up the Work rate Man

Lemme help with this Addition

lmao..u badt gan...thanx man

nice try OP make i compliment you for your effort

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy
some new shoes (he is 60). We decided to grab a
bite at the
food court.I noticed he was watching someone
sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked
hair in all
different colors - green, red, orange & blue -
and my dad kept staring at her. The teen would
look over and find my dad staring, every time.
When she'd finally had enough, she
sarcastically asked:
"What's the matter old man, never done
anything Wild in your life?"
Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food
so I wouldn't choke on His response which I
knew would be a great one.
In classic style, he responded
without batting an eyelid:
"Got drunk years back and had sex with a
peacock. I was just wondering if you were my
daughter!?

Skapi: Lefax sms Mokox nd tell him we have to
meet later on
Lefax: here is my phone you sms him.
Skapi: ahh but why not do it na you have your
phone with you?
Lefax:my handwriting is horrible if I text
him he wnt see anything I said..

bashy_demy: nice try OP make i compliment you for your effort

thanx man...i appreciate

A lady notices her husband Lefax standing on
the bathroom scale,sucking in his stomach.
Thinking he is trying to weigh less with his
manoeuvre,she comments, "i dnt think that's
going to help,"
"sure it does," he says
"its the only way i can see the numbers."

Two terrorists having discussion in a bar. The
waiter asks them what the
discussion was about? Terrorist :- We are
planning to kill 14 thousand people and a
donkey.. Waiter :- Why a donkey?
Then one terrorist says to the other,
"See I told you nobody will care
about the 14 thousand people

Jatwell was a school going boy, he was very
interestingly reading the Bible
while waiting for transportation to his school
and every now and then would
exclaim,
"Alleluia, Praise the Lord, Amen"
and on and on as he read on. A man heard him
and came and asked
what he was reading. He answered
"I am reading how God parted the
red sea and let the Israelites go through-- that
is a miracle!"
The man explained : "Do not believe
everything in the Bible tells you. The
truth of the matter is that, that the
body of water was only 6 inches
deep-- so it was not miracle."
Jatty nodded in disappointment but kept on
reading
as that man was walking away
feeling proud that he had set the Jatwell
straight. All of a sudden the man heard Jatty
let out a big
"Alleluia, Praise the
Lord".
At this the man came back to him and asked,
"What is it this time?"
Jatwell said excitedly in one breath,
"This one is a real miracle; God drowned the
whole Egyptian army in 6 inches of
water!!!" What an amazing miracle!

nice jokes

~vicky~:
nice jokes

thanx vicky..

Teacher Wants to Test Mpata' IQ ....
Teacher: Mpata, what is a Period?
Mpata: I don't know the meaning Sir. But I am
very sure it is very dangerous.
Teacher: Why Mpata?
Mpata: because when my sister said that she
didn’t see her period for 5 months, my mum
fainted, my dad got a heart attack and our
driver ran away….I don’t think Period is a gud
thing.

Teacher :- Lefaufau What Would You Choose
Between Brain And Money?
Lefax :- Money
Teacher :- I would prefer Brain
Lefax:- Well Everybody prefers what they
don't have =D

The boss walks into the office holding a gun
and asked "which one of you assholes had sex
with my wife?" after a while, a voice from the
back said 'you dont have enough bullets'

Cool story bro, wanna hear mine? Once upon a
time I didnt give a f*ck, the end.

A man with a 25-inch dick confronted a witch
doctor for help...
"Plis help me its just too long i can't take it
anymore",said the man.
"dnt worry my child,jst go to the swamp u will
find a female frog and ask it 2 marry you,the
frog wil say No and ul loose 5-inch,"said the
witch doctor.
Without wasting anytime he went swamp n he
saw the frog.
"wil u marry me?" askd the man. "No" the frog
ansad..suprisingly he lost 5-inch of hs
dick..man stil not satisfied with 20 inch he
askd the frog again and the frog stil said No.
Nw his dick was 15 inch so he thought 10 inch
wil do 4 him and decided 2 ask the frog 1 last
tym..
"frog wil u marry me?"
frog ansad furiously- "jesus man how many
times do i have 2 repeat ma self? 4 da last time
NO! NO! NO!"

A LADY'S INBOX
1.I love you dear (from
vincent)
2.Can I take you out
tonight? (from joseph )
3.I always feel bad when
I see you with any other
man. (from alex)
4.Dear friend, dont forget
to come to my birthday
party tomorrow. (from
anita)
5.I will do whatever it will
take just to have you by
my side (from peter)
6.I know that you are
taken but I wunt mind
being your number two
(from kevin)
A GUY'S INBOX
1.You have insufficient
funds to renew your daily
data bundles (from MTN)
2.Hey dude! Give me a
break, i told you am
married! (from jane)
3.Dont you dare calling
me again! you aint my
type! (from stella)

4.Am warning you, let
this month not be a
story telling event just
like the past 3months.
(from landlord)
5.I never knew you could
be a player! its over
b2win us! (from ann)
6.I have not seen my
periods for two weeks
now! (neighbours wife)
7.Hey you, I want my dvd
movies back (from dan)

This Conversation Ensued Between a Former
Nigerian
President, and his
National Security Adviser;
NSA: Sir, ASSU is on the verge of strike.
PRESIDENT: What?.
NSA: Sir i said ASSU is about to go on strike.
PRESIDENT: Kill him
NSA: Excuse me sir?.
PRESIDENT: i say go and kill him! can't you
hear word?.
NSA: Sir, it's not a human being, it's an
organization
PRESIDENT: OK, Disolve it.

Teacher:write a composition titled"If I Was A
Millionare"
*all the students started writing except for Lil
Johny*
Teacher:why arnt you writing Johny?
Lil Johny:um waiting for my secretary!

One mornin lil johnny arrives at a doctor's
clinic complaining of serious back pain...
The doctor examines him and asks him:
"Tell me what happened to your back..."
Lj replies: "Sir, I work for a local night club.
This morning I go to my apartment early and
heard some noise in my bedroom..
On entering I knew someone had been with my
wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed
out of the balcony door and did not find
anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I
saw a man running out and he was dressing
himself.
I was very angry..!! I grabbed the fridge and
threw it at him. It was very heavy... That is how
I strained my back....!!!"
Later that day, a second patient, Mokox arrives
as if he has been in a car
wreck..
The doctor said: "My previous patient looked
bad,.... But you look terrible..What the hell
happened to you....??"
Mokox replied: "You know I have been
unemployed for a while now...today was the
first day at my new job.. I forgot to set my
alarm and I was late...
I was running out of the building,getting
dressed at the same time, I was hit by a fridge
from above! I don't know how and where da hell
this fridge fall on me...from!!!"
Before closing hours, the third patient, Lefax
comes..
He looks like he was punished in hell ..!!
The doctor is shocked..
He asked: "What the hell happened to
you....??"
Lefax replies:
"Well, It started like this: "I was in a fridge..."

A couple decided that the only way to have a
quickie while their ten-year- old son was in the
apartment was to send him out on
the balcony and let him give a running report
on what was going on in the neighbourhood. So
the boy stood on the balcony and
reported on everything that was
happening.
"A police car has just called at the Johans'
house, the
Roger are taking delivery of a new wardrobe,
and the Joseph's are
having sex." Hearing this, the boy's parents
shot bolt upright.
"How do you know the joseph are having sex?"
"Because their kid is standing on the balcony
too

Teacher: havin $10 Lefax nd I ask $3 frm you
how much wil you have left? Lefax: How did
you know I had $10 Sir?
Teacher: Stupid guy! Ok lets try again! If you
have $10 nd I take $5 from you hw much wil
you be left with? Lefax: But Sir who said I was
goin to give you any of my money? Now stop
bothering me with my money please!!

Gentlemen, open your book to The Epistles of Lalaosky, Chapter 1 Vs 1 to the End. Somebody read it out loud, pls!

jackpot: Gentlemen, open your book to The Epistles of Lalaosky, Chapter 1 Vs 1 to the End. Somebody read it out loud, pls!

it says: jackstove thou shal not pester lala like a he-goat on heat so dat ur days of dieing to suck boobsqe bweast will b long

Teacher: Lets do an exercise I call out your
name nd show you a number what you do is say
out the number I showed you.
Teacher: Pappu 444
Pappu: Four hundred & fourty four.
Teacher: good, Lefax 222
Lefax: two hundred & twenty two.
Teacher: Wow nice1 Lefax, Skapi 333
Skapi: Three hundred & thirty three.
Teacher: This is just great, you really are
improving boys!! Mokox 111.
Mokox: One hundred & onety one..

One day the teacher asked;
Teacher :"What do you call a person who keeps
on
talking when people are no longer interested?"
Students :"A teacher".

An 80 year old man married a 18 year old
girl.One day the girl got pregnant nd the old
man went to see the doctor
Old man:my wife is pregnant,ur opinion?
Doctor:let me tell u a story,one day a hunter
was in a hurry nd picked an umbrella instead
of a gun nd in the jungle he sees a lion nd whn
he raised the umbrella.....BANG!!!....the lion
was dead.
Old man:thts impossible!!sum1 must hv shot
it...
Doctor:my point exactly!!

well sha, no need bothering myself whether you compose your biography here or not.

lets see what happens when your 15mb etisalat data finishes

jackpot: well sha, no need bothering myself whether you compose your biography here or not.

lets see what happens when your 15mb etisalat data finishes

lwkmd...with anoda 200# am back in biz...enemy of JOKEgress

A wealthy Urhobo man decided to go on a
safari
in one of the games reserves in Nigeria. He
took his faithful pet Waffi dog
along to keep him company.
One day the dog started chasing butterflies
and
before long he discovered he was lost.
Wandering about, he
noticed a leopard heading
rapidly in his direction
with the obvious
intention of having lunch.
The dog thought; Boy, dis
na wahala.
He then noticed some bones on the ground
close by, and immediately
settled down to chew on
the bones with his back to the approaching cat.
Just as the leopard was
about to leap, the dog exclaimed loudly; Man,
that leopard sweet o, I
wonder where I fit get more around here?.
On Hearing this, the leopard
halts his attack in mid stride, a look of terror
comes over him, and slinks away into the trees.
Chei, said the leopard.
That was close. That dog nearly chop me.
Meanwhile, a monkey
who had been watching
the whole scene from a nearby tree, figured he
can put his knowledge
to good use and trade it
for protection from the
leopard. So, off he went.
The dog saw him heading after the leopard
with great speed, and figured that something
must be up.
The monkey soon
caught up with the leopard, spilled the beans
and struck a deal for himself with the leopard.
The cat was furious at
being made a fool of and said; Monkey, climb
my back make you
see wetin I go do that wayo dog.
The dog saw the
leopard coming with the
monkey on his back, and
thought; Wetin man go do
now?.
Instead of running,
the dog sat down with his back to his attackers
pretending he hasn't
seen them. Just when they got close enough,
the dog shouted; Wey this monkey sef?. You
no fit trust am, 30 minutes don pass
since. I send am go bring another
leopard he never still come back?.