baralatie:

Efemena_xy:



But you did say he's similar to you na! Abi?

Donxavier: Cancer

I think your sis should have a heart to heart talk with him.

baralatie: 7
stil defending extra-intimacy behaviour to the last spleen.

U must posses an ambition to stick to more than one woman wit a passion.

Efemena_xy:
I tell you this, rather than break a sweat on such a person, most decent girls will cut him loose abeg. Why? Because it's not about the money or present itself, but the thought that counts. Such girls would be working anyway, earning their own income, so what will they need such a guy's chicken-change money for anyway? If I tell you that even as a student on campus, I always paid my way and never depended on a guy for 1 kobo, would you believe me? I hope you get my drift now?

Efemena_xy:
But most importantly, when defending this guy's disrespectful attitude, remember he's doing what he's doing with another girl who might as well be some other guy's babe. We had a thread opened not too long ago about a guy who was really pi$$ed off with his church-going-fellowship-leading girl he wanted to get serious with, for keeping a wealthy married man on the side. https://www.nairaland.com/1501280/confused-should-take- back-let Of course he was advised to dump the girl.

Efemena_xy:


kindly explain what you meant by the phrase keeping the faith
By Keeping Faith, I mean the girl should stay with this guy till the Alter. The OP said that this guy just started this about 4 months ago and she saw this obvious flirting 'only' on his phone. Common a Player, would have been leaving tale tale signs before now.
NB
But the girl can take a walk as others maybe suggesting. Afterall she was warned about getting hurt and she insisted on finding out things for herself.

Efemena_xy:


~ If you've 'wasted' years of your life being faithful in more than three or four relationships, then you need to ask yourself why you keep getting the same results, why you keep getting played or taken for granted, why you keep attracting them




~Where did you pick those girls up from? What sort of vibes / signals do you as a man give out? Do you flash the ca$h, bachelor's pad, and flash car in your girl's face? Are you that insecure that you feel the only way to get any girl interested in you, is by waving material things in her face? You need to search your soul - properly.

~ If you can't think independently for yourself, but rather go by people's biased opinion that ALL girls out there are bad, they can't be trusted, etc, then how d'you expect anyone to take you seriously? Don't you know that by allowing people 'think' for you, you come across as a weak man lacking in self-esteem?



Why should you keep repeating the same mistake over and over again? Mind you, when I say mistake, I'm not referring to having a loving and caring nature. I'm referring to you attracting the same Brazilian weaving-BlackBerry waving-Mbegke girls over and over and over again.

Efemena_x:


~ Just because you 'good' guys dated and stuck to one woman - doing the right thing - and yet it didn't work out is no excuse for playing the fiddle and expecting your intended spouse to tolerate it, much less accept it quietly. AIDS and other STD nasties are real. If you wanna sow your wild oats, then by all means do so - but don't drag decent ladies (if you do manage to find them with that mindset of yours), into the pits with you.

Efemena_xy:


True that. All the more reason for her to take a walk now that he's revealing his true colours. If she decides to cling on to him despite his life-threatening shortcomings, then it'll be solely out of greed for money / material wealth, and not because of some mis-guided notion that she can change him. Either way, she'll have no one to blame but herself if she decides to go on with it, because it most certainly will backfire in her face - big time.

Efemena_xy:

~ Buying material possessions in a person's name is no sign that the buyer is ready to wife the receiver. Infact, all it shows is immaturity on the part of the so-called buyer for believing that money can buy true love, respect and decency. This is pure Nollywood advice you're dishing out to gullible girls. No well brought up girl with a good back ground, parental love and support, [b]and a decent education to go with, will fall for this lame trick. Save it for Omatas (uneducated wealthy men) and area boys.[/b]

Efemena_xy:

~ Yes, if she's got any shred of self-worth and decency, she should take a very long walk away from him and not look back! You saying that with her leaving him, someone else will keep the faith and stick with this irresponsibly boy till the end is nothing short of emotional blackmail which quite frankly, doesn't wash. Infact, it's a big joke and the joke's on you.

~

Efemena_xy:

~ What d'you mean keep the faith? Is bed-hopping and blatant promiscuity some sort of religion you advocate?

Efemena_xy:

~ What d'you mean keep the faith? Is bed-hopping and blatant promiscuity some sort of religion you advocate?

~ Yes, if she's got any shred of self-worth and decency, she should take a very long walk away from him and not look back! You saying that with her leaving him, someone else will keep the faith and stick with this irresponsibly boy till the end is nothing short of emotional blackmail which quite frankly, doesn't wash. Infact, it's a big joke and the joke's on you.

~ Buying material possessions in a person's name is no sign that the buyer is ready to wife the receiver. Infact, all it shows is immaturity on the part of the so-called buyer for believing that money can buy true love, respect and decency. This is pure Nollywood advice you're dishing out to gullible girls. No well brought up girl with a good back ground, parental love and support, and a decent education to go with, will fall for this lame trick. Save it for Omatas (uneducated wealthy men) and area boys.



True that. All the more reason for her to take a walk now that he's revealing his true colours. If she decides to cling on to him despite his life-threatening shortcomings, then it'll be solely out of greed for money / material wealth, and not because of some mis-guided notion that she can change him. Either way, she'll have no one to blame but herself if she decides to go on with it, because it most certainly will backfire in her face - big time.



~ Just because you 'good' guys dated and stuck to one woman - doing the right thing - and yet it didn't work out is no excuse for playing the fiddle and expecting your intended spouse to tolerate it, much less accept it quietly. AIDS and other STD nasties are real. If you wanna sow your wild oats, then by all means do so - but don't drag decent ladies (if you do manage to find them with that mindset of yours), into the pits with you.

~ If you've 'wasted' years of your life being faithful in more than three or four relationships, then you need to ask yourself why you keep getting the same results, why you keep getting played or taken for granted, why you keep attracting the wrong sort of girls. You need to take a step back and look deep within yourself to see where you are going wrong, mate. Lashing out at, or taking 'revenge' on an innocent / unsuspecting girl is not the way forward.

~Where did you pick those girls up from? What sort of vibes / signals do you as a man give out? Do you flash the ca$h, bachelor's pad, and flash car in your girl's face? Are you that insecure that you feel the only way to get any girl interested in you, is by waving material things in her face? You need to search your soul - properly.

~ If you can't think independently for yourself, but rather go by people's biased opinion that ALL girls out there are bad, they can't be trusted, etc, then how d'you expect anyone to take you seriously? Don't you know that by allowing people 'think' for you, you come across as a weak man lacking in self-esteem?



Why should you keep repeating the same mistake over and over again? Mind you, when I say mistake, I'm not referring to having a loving and caring nature. I'm referring to you attracting the same Brazilian weaving-BlackBerry waving-Mbegke girls over and over and over again.

baralatie:

ii can see u find it difficult to come out openly to answer the question
hn simple english u wil not condone a fiancee who keeps/exhibits traits of extra-intimate affairs
but u are comfortable for the woman to accept extrd-intimate affairs from the man.
Even tho u know friction is inevitable.
Na wa o!

Abali1:
You won't believe the indiginity some of us have to put up with, when we see the Ladies that we want.
.An Ex- have once called me to seek advice on how to go about winning the guy she wants (I was still dating her then). I gave her the advice she wants, it didn't work out and she came back to me. (I only abstained from indulging in s,ex with her from then on)

. Another Ex, whom I had something serious going on with walked out of a serious relationship, when I thought I have found the one. 2 months later she came back and I took her in.

baralatie:
u are dodging the question.WHATP? WIL U MARRY UR FIANCEE IF U FOUND OUT ON HER BB(ACTIVE BOYFREINDS WIT ACTIVE SEXUAL SMS,EMS,MMS AND D LIKE)

CAN U SLEEP PEACEFULY IF SHE CALS U AND SAXS 'PLS I AM GOING TO ABUJA FOR C Weeks'

YES OR NO

baralatie:
question 1
'WIL U MARRY UR FIANCE WHO FULFILS AL JUSTIFyable BUT U DISCOVERED ON HER BLACKBERRY PHONE 500 malefriends(some coded)and all mana of sms,ems,mms.pictures of naked men,recharge card, jst name it.
And she says"o my sugar u knw u are the only 1 truly luv."
will u not slap her!when u rem her cals telng u she is goin 4 al nit or she is traveling to abuja!can u sleep properly al becoz of luv?

Nashville:





I agree with Feryintolah that many ladies are brought up to think it is ok for men to cheat. I have just read posts from Abali and Obowunmi explaining why a girl should manage a cheating boyfriend. Well people like Abali and Obowunmi would have sisters and the sisters would believe the same thing because they are from the same source. Infact these two gentlemen - Abali and Obowunmi - may just be describing what their parents have told them and what their sisters/aunties have gone through.

Chillisauce: Just woke up! What's the summary! Them still dey do the wedding

baralatie:
u said the ffg; +he may av suffered numerous heart breaks.

baralatie:
+he is just putting her thro test.WHAT KIND OF TEST(TO KNOW IF SHE WIL ACCEPT INFEDILITY!)

baralatie:

+is theiv any evidence he has cheated physicaly ACCORDING TO OP.THEY WERE FREE WIT EACH OTHER(THERE WAS NO EXISTENCE THIS BEHAVIOUR IN HIM) noooow!month to wedding vows HE HAS CHANGED PAROLE.HE IS NO LONGER FREE WIT INFORMATION,NOW SHE ned PERMISION B4 SHE CAN USE ORDINARY PHONE (DEM NEVA MARRY O)ONLY 4 HER TO FIND OUT IT IS BECOZ OF PLENTY WOMEN WEY DEY 4 LINE(AND HE TELS DEM HE IS SINGLE)

baralatie:

HOW DO U ARRANGE 'SHORT TIME'IS IT NOT BY PHONE.DO U TINK HE WIL ALLOW THE WOMAN TO KNOW THE DAY/ PLACE/HOUR as long as the CONTACTS are there,arranging s£xcapades is a smal tin.

baralatie:

+he performs duties to his fiance. AV U TOT THIS.HE IS DOING THIS JUST TO KEEP HER QUIET AND JUSTIFY HIS INFIDELITY

chaircover:


The man is holding onto all these women because he wants to and I am yet to see a man who just wakes up the next morning after the wedding (or even woman) and totally changes what he/she has been doing all along before the wedding.

goodheart4God:

Aunty CC I pray too that one day he desist from his dangerous behavior. That is if he sees that what he does is wrong. Because to him, the unreasonable one is me. I am the one reading meaning to the friendship, because there is nothing wrong in keeping single girls as friends.

goodheart4God:

This is no excuse for picking up bad behavior that outrightly disrespect your woman. So you think women haven't been hurt? So why can't some of them start chatting with single guys and delete? Let me ask you a simple question. If the table was turned and it was your girlfriend behaving this way, would you marry her? Candid answer please without deceit. Why do we want others to condone what we can't condone ourselves.

Efemena_xy:

And why should a 'strong' woman bother with bringing an obviously irresponsible boy back to his original self?

Why should she have to be laboured with the very dirty work of re-formatting his immature brain cells?

If the guy isn't ready to commit to one woman, then he obviously isn't ready to get married! Let him continue to sow his wild oats as a single man to his heart's content. Then and only then should he even consider marriage afterwards! Marriage is meant to be a life long commitment to your spouse, to be enjoyed and not endured by both parties.

No one deserves to be driven to an early grave from high blood pressure.

soul_glo: So she wants someone to tell her it is okay to marry a cheating liar. Then she will come here and start lamentation threads in a few years. Tell her to marry him and move all his girlfriends in too so that way she can keep track of all of them easily

Wallie:

You need to refocus your energy, or is it anger? The message in my post is simple and has nothing to do with labels!

Let me spell it out for you – we all have difficulties or issues in our lives, albeit some more serious than others, but with the right frame of mind and/or support, we can overcome anything including chronic pain from SS, death of a loved one, cancer, organ failure, getting fired from work, having no source of income, breaking up with a life partner, serious debt burden, being born with certain defective characteristics, etc.

If you can check your emotions at the door, you will see that the underlying thread in all the issues and ailments I listed is pain and lack of hope to carry on. Having a positive attitude goes a long way in overcoming anything in front of us.

By the way, there’s nothing wrong in being different and it is left to us to determine how we let the difference affect us (emotionally or physically). Being labeled disabled or handicapped is not derogatory similar to saying someone is light or dark skinned; it is just a fact that relates to the person in question. In certain activities (like driving), the fact that I wear glasses makes me handicapped when performing the activity without my glasses.

Anyway, the initial post was meant for OP and not you. I’m done wasting my time responding to you; do what you want with what I've said thus far!

Mazi_Omenuko:

Very-very important!

Op; hang in there. I can write you a story if you wish so.