Abali1:
Num 1 bolded)
Like I said earlier she can decide to keep Faith till the end (Life is a Risk). Or she could cancel the wedding and take walk, there is a lady out there that will keep the Faith and stick with this guy to the end. (Remember, he has shown that whatever happens he is ready to wife her. Things are bought in her name)
Num 2 bolded.)
We have to date before we can find someone that suits our nature.
Last Bullet:
Some of us good guys have dated and stuck to one woman being Faithful, Caring and Loving with the intention of taking her to the alter. But alas, they come up with all sort of reasons why it won't work.
When you have wasted years being faithful (as a single guy) in more than 3 or 4 relationships, you got to change your style definitely. Moreover, the females around you don't help mush, (sisters, cousins, family friends) as they keep telling to keep your options open as long as you are still single, cos girls cannot be trusted.
Last Bullet:
If you keep doing the same thing over and over again and keep getting same result, won't you change your method and still keep your nature (Caring and Loving)
Moreover, all his philandering could just be online, and BBM. Who knows?

Nashville:





I agree with Feryintolah that many ladies are brought up to think it is ok for men to cheat. I have just read posts from Abali and Obowunmi explaining why a girl should manage a cheating boyfriend. Well people like Abali and Obowunmi would have sisters and the sisters would believe the same thing because they are from the same source. Infact these two gentlemen - Abali and Obowunmi - may just be describing what their parents have told them and what their sisters/aunties have gone through.

baralatie:
question 1
'WIL U MARRY UR FIANCE WHO FULFILS AL JUSTIFyable BUT U DISCOVERED ON HER BLACKBERRY PHONE 500 malefriends(some coded)and all mana of sms,ems,mms.pictures of naked men,recharge card, jst name it.
And she says"o my sugar u knw u are the only 1 truly luv."
will u not slap her!when u rem her cals telng u she is goin 4 al nit or she is traveling to abuja!can u sleep properly al becoz of luv?

Abali1:
But the Op never said anything about 500 ladies, all night whatever, travelling to Abuja........ Common, you guys can do better than this.
OPs sister has a choice to make. OP, can show her this thread.
She may decide to walk or stay and keep Faith.
But Definitely that guy has a Lady somewhere who will keep the Faith.
The question now is;

Is OPs sister that Lady?

baralatie:
u are dodging the question.WHATP? WIL U MARRY UR FIANCEE IF U FOUND OUT ON HER BB(ACTIVE BOYFREINDS WIT ACTIVE SEXUAL SMS,EMS,MMS AND D LIKE)

CAN U SLEEP PEACEFULY IF SHE CALS U AND SAXS 'PLS I AM GOING TO ABUJA FOR C Weeks'

YES OR NO

Abali1:
I think I have already addressed this issue of whom I can marry or not in an earlier post.
Moreover you should redirect your focus to the content of this thread.
NB
I said earlier, I am not condoning infidelity.

Abali1:
Num 1 bolded)
Like I said earlier she can decide to keep Faith till the end (Life is a Risk). Or she could cancel the wedding and take walk, there is a lady out there that will keep the Faith and stick with this guy to the end. (Remember, he has shown that whatever happens he is ready to wife her. Things are bought in her name)

Abali1: Num 2 bolded.)
We have to date before we can find someone that suits our nature.

Abali1:
Last Bullet:
Some of us good guys have dated and stuck to one woman being Faithful, Caring and Loving with the intention of taking her to the alter. But alas, they come up with all sort of reasons why it won't work.
When you have wasted years being faithful (as a single guy) in more than 3 or 4 relationships, you got to change your style definitely. Moreover, the females around you don't help mush, (sisters, cousins, family friends) as they keep telling to keep your options open as long as you are still single, cos girls cannot be trusted.

Abali1: Last Bullet:
If you keep doing the same thing over and over again and keep getting same result, won't you change your method and still keep your nature (Caring and Loving)
Moreover, all his philandering could just be online, and BBM. Who knows?

baralatie:

ii can see u find it difficult to come out openly to answer the question
hn simple english u wil not condone a fiancee who keeps/exhibits traits of extra-intimate affairs
but u are comfortable for the woman to accept extrd-intimate affairs from the man.
Even tho u know friction is inevitable.
Na wa o!

Abali1:
You won't believe the indiginity some of us have to put up with, when we see the Ladies that we want.
.An Ex- have once called me to seek advice on how to go about winning the guy she wants (I was still dating her then). I gave her the advice she wants, it didn't work out and she came back to me. (I only abstained from indulging in s,ex with her from then on)

. Another Ex, whom I had something serious going on with walked out of a serious relationship, when I thought I have found the one. 2 months later she came back and I took her in.

Efemena_xy:

~ What d'you mean keep the faith? Is bed-hopping and blatant promiscuity some sort of religion you advocate?

~ Yes, if she's got any shred of self-worth and decency, she should take a very long walk away from him and not look back! You saying that with her leaving him, someone else will keep the faith and stick with this irresponsibly boy till the end is nothing short of emotional blackmail which quite frankly, doesn't wash. Infact, it's a big joke and the joke's on you.

~ Buying material possessions in a person's name is no sign that the buyer is ready to wife the receiver. Infact, all it shows is immaturity on the part of the so-called buyer for believing that money can buy true love, respect and decency. This is pure Nollywood advice you're dishing out to gullible girls. No well brought up girl with a good back ground, parental love and support, and a decent education to go with, will fall for this lame trick. Save it for Omatas (uneducated wealthy men) and area boys.



True that. All the more reason for her to take a walk now that he's revealing his true colours. If she decides to cling on to him despite his life-threatening shortcomings, then it'll be solely out of greed for money / material wealth, and not because of some mis-guided notion that she can change him. Either way, she'll have no one to blame but herself if she decides to go on with it, because it most certainly will backfire in her face - big time.



~ Just because you 'good' guys dated and stuck to one woman - doing the right thing - and yet it didn't work out is no excuse for playing the fiddle and expecting your intended spouse to tolerate it, much less accept it quietly. AIDS and other STD nasties are real. If you wanna sow your wild oats, then by all means do so - but don't drag decent ladies (if you do manage to find them with that mindset of yours), into the pits with you.

~ If you've 'wasted' years of your life being faithful in more than three or four relationships, then you need to ask yourself why you keep getting the same results, why you keep getting played or taken for granted, why you keep attracting the wrong sort of girls. You need to take a step back and look deep within yourself to see where you are going wrong, mate. Lashing out at, or taking 'revenge' on an innocent / unsuspecting girl is not the way forward.

~Where did you pick those girls up from? What sort of vibes / signals do you as a man give out? Do you flash the ca$h, bachelor's pad, and flash car in your girl's face? Are you that insecure that you feel the only way to get any girl interested in you, is by waving material things in her face? You need to search your soul - properly.

~ If you can't think independently for yourself, but rather go by people's biased opinion that ALL girls out there are bad, they can't be trusted, etc, then how d'you expect anyone to take you seriously? Don't you know that by allowing people 'think' for you, you come across as a weak man lacking in self-esteem?



Why should you keep repeating the same mistake over and over again? Mind you, when I say mistake, I'm not referring to having a loving and caring nature. I'm referring to you attracting the same Brazilian weaving-BlackBerry waving-Mbegke girls over and over and over again.

Efemena_xy:

~ What d'you mean keep the faith? Is bed-hopping and blatant promiscuity some sort of religion you advocate?

Efemena_xy:

~ Yes, if she's got any shred of self-worth and decency, she should take a very long walk away from him and not look back! You saying that with her leaving him, someone else will keep the faith and stick with this irresponsibly boy till the end is nothing short of emotional blackmail which quite frankly, doesn't wash. Infact, it's a big joke and the joke's on you.

~

Efemena_xy:

~ Buying material possessions in a person's name is no sign that the buyer is ready to wife the receiver. Infact, all it shows is immaturity on the part of the so-called buyer for believing that money can buy true love, respect and decency. This is pure Nollywood advice you're dishing out to gullible girls. No well brought up girl with a good back ground, parental love and support, [b]and a decent education to go with, will fall for this lame trick. Save it for Omatas (uneducated wealthy men) and area boys.[/b]

Efemena_xy:


True that. All the more reason for her to take a walk now that he's revealing his true colours. If she decides to cling on to him despite his life-threatening shortcomings, then it'll be solely out of greed for money / material wealth, and not because of some mis-guided notion that she can change him. Either way, she'll have no one to blame but herself if she decides to go on with it, because it most certainly will backfire in her face - big time.

Efemena_x:


~ Just because you 'good' guys dated and stuck to one woman - doing the right thing - and yet it didn't work out is no excuse for playing the fiddle and expecting your intended spouse to tolerate it, much less accept it quietly. AIDS and other STD nasties are real. If you wanna sow your wild oats, then by all means do so - but don't drag decent ladies (if you do manage to find them with that mindset of yours), into the pits with you.

Efemena_xy:


~ If you've 'wasted' years of your life being faithful in more than three or four relationships, then you need to ask yourself why you keep getting the same results, why you keep getting played or taken for granted, why you keep attracting them




~Where did you pick those girls up from? What sort of vibes / signals do you as a man give out? Do you flash the ca$h, bachelor's pad, and flash car in your girl's face? Are you that insecure that you feel the only way to get any girl interested in you, is by waving material things in her face? You need to search your soul - properly.

~ If you can't think independently for yourself, but rather go by people's biased opinion that ALL girls out there are bad, they can't be trusted, etc, then how d'you expect anyone to take you seriously? Don't you know that by allowing people 'think' for you, you come across as a weak man lacking in self-esteem?



Why should you keep repeating the same mistake over and over again? Mind you, when I say mistake, I'm not referring to having a loving and caring nature. I'm referring to you attracting the same Brazilian weaving-BlackBerry waving-Mbegke girls over and over and over again.

Abali1:

Please read my reply to a similar question. I understand your simple English question, but your questions is not relevant in the Context of this thread.
Re-focus your attention to the thread.

Abali1:
Aunty Efe,
You are really angry ohh! Calm down now, no be fight. I will take on your questions, step by step as I am playing the devils advocate today.

Abali1:
I have never advocated infidelity AKA bed-hopping (in your words). I asked severally in this thread if OP or her sister has ever caught this guy physically cheating. Apart from online chat and maybe BBM.
Now to some people that is cheating and enough reason to cancel an upcoming wedding.
NB
OPs sister has a choice to make, as do all of us.

Abali1:
Emotional Blackmail or not, the Lady is the one wearing the shoes and she is in the best position to make her decisions. I am only showing that this guys attitude could be argued both ways.
And Yes, there is someone out there who will readily fill in the gap when she leaves (if she decides to leave).

Abali1:
Well brought up girls with sound education and good parntal background will surely come to NL and complain that the guy is Faithful, but not caring and loving. Infact he is so stingy that he has never given me any present, nor taken me out for dinner or lunch...... NL, please should I marry him?
So therefore, buying her materials things is not a basis for her to accept marrying him. But it is a pointer to his nature.

Abali1:
Again, the OPs sister wears the shoe we can only assume what the situation is really like.
If she clings to him and it back-fires, she has only herself to blame.
If she stays with him and he turns out to be the Best she can ever wish for, she is the only one that will smile the most.
The OP said that his only obvious short-coming is pass wording his phones and the lady finding he has been "philandring online".
NB
OPs sister has a choice to make. You can't call her greedy if she decides to stay. To each his/her own.

Abali1:
How many ladies are truely innocent?
Aunty Efe,
Don't write decent on the faces of people. Visit the romance section and see them guys lamenting about this and that, sam with ladies.
You have got to show me your 'Good heart' before I know that you are truely Decent. I am sorry about this, but that is the mindset I have had for a very long time untill recently.

Abali1:
You really Lashed out at me in this part. We have never met and I bet 'you really don't want to walk a mile in my shoes'. So I don't have anything to say in my defence, and also this thread is not about me. So calm down and stop being angry.

Efemena_xy:


kindly explain what you meant by the phrase keeping the faith
By Keeping Faith, I mean the girl should stay with this guy till the Alter. The OP said that this guy just started this about 4 months ago and she saw this obvious flirting 'only' on his phone. Common a Player, would have been leaving tale tale signs before now.
NB
But the girl can take a walk as others maybe suggesting. Afterall she was warned about getting hurt and she insisted on finding out things for herself.

Abali1: kindly explain what you meant by the phrase keeping the faith
By Keeping Faith, I mean the girl should stay with this guy till the Alter. The OP said that this guy just started this about 4 months ago and she saw this obvious flirting 'only' on his phone. Common a Player, would have been leaving tale tale signs before now.
NB
But the girl can take a walk as others maybe suggesting. Afterall she was warned about getting hurt and she insisted on finding out things for herself.

Abali1: .

Efemena_xy:
But most importantly, when defending this guy's disrespectful attitude, remember he's doing what he's doing with another girl who might as well be some other guy's babe. We had a thread opened not too long ago about a guy who was really pi$$ed off with his church-going-fellowship-leading girl he wanted to get serious with, for keeping a wealthy married man on the side. https://www.nairaland.com/1501280/confused-should-take- back-let Of course he was advised to dump the girl.

Abali1:
Well, what can I say. A girl can try it, if her guy overlooks it fine and good.
I remember the thread, I also remember that the guy forgave her the first time before the 'convocation money' and hoe she only want to chop the mumu man.......It is not the same issues here.

Abali1:
Well, what can I say. A girl can try it, if her guy overlooks it fine and good.
I remember the thread, I also remember that the guy forgave her the first time before the 'convocation money' and hoe she only want to chop the mumu man.......It is not the same issues here.

baralatie: 7
stil defending extra-intimacy behaviour to the last spleen.

U must posses an ambition to stick to more than one woman wit a passion.

Efemena_xy:
I tell you this, rather than break a sweat on such a person, most decent girls will cut him loose abeg. Why? Because it's not about the money or present itself, but the thought that counts. Such girls would be working anyway, earning their own income, so what will they need such a guy's chicken-change money for anyway? If I tell you that even as a student on campus, I always paid my way and never depended on a guy for 1 kobo, would you believe me? I hope you get my drift now?

Abali1:

Aunty Efe,
This contradicts your earlier assertion that Material items and money are for only Omata boys and Mbeke Girls.
So you will actually cut a Guy loose if HE WAS SO CRASS AS TO FORGET GETTING ANYTHING FOR YOU ON YOUR BIRTHDAY, IRRESPECTIVE OF HIM BEING A FAITHFUL GUY.

chaircover: Ha! Please lets take it easy on my brother Abali oooo!

brother, we see a lot of "things have gone wrong" stories here after the ring has gone on, and that is why many of us are very keen to drum in into singles what they should run away from & also what they too should be bringing to the table.