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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? (8266 Views)
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Re: What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? by baralatie(m): 11:13am On Nov 10, 2013 |
Abali1:question 1 'WIL U MARRY UR FIANCE WHO FULFILS AL JUSTIFyable BUT U DISCOVERED ON HER BLACKBERRY PHONE 500 malefriends(some coded)and all mana of sms,ems,mms.pictures of naked men,recharge card, jst name it. And she says"o my sugar u knw u are the only 1 truly luv." will u not slap her!when u rem her cals telng u she is goin 4 al nit or she is traveling to abuja!can u sleep properly al becoz of luv? |
Re: What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? by Abali1(m): 11:16am On Nov 10, 2013 |
Nashville:I lost interest in anything you have to say after the bolded. Don't bother quoting me. |
Re: What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? by Abali1(m): 11:21am On Nov 10, 2013 |
baralatie:But the Op never said anything about 500 ladies, all night whatever, travelling to Abuja........ Common, you guys can do better than this. OPs sister has a choice to make. OP, can show her this thread. She may decide to walk or stay and keep Faith. But Definitely that guy has a Lady somewhere who will keep the Faith. The question now is; Is OPs sister that Lady? |
Re: What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? by baralatie(m): 11:31am On Nov 10, 2013 |
Abali1:u are dodging the question.WHATP? WIL U MARRY UR FIANCEE IF U FOUND OUT ON HER BB(ACTIVE BOYFREINDS WIT ACTIVE SEXUAL SMS,EMS,MMS AND D LIKE) CAN U SLEEP PEACEFULY IF SHE CALS U AND SAXS 'PLS I AM GOING TO ABUJA FOR C Weeks' YES OR NO |
Re: What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? by Abali1(m): 12:00pm On Nov 10, 2013 |
baralatie:I think I have already addressed this issue of whom I can marry or not in an earlier post. Moreover you should redirect your focus to the content of this thread. NB I said earlier, I am not condoning infidelity. |
Re: What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? by baralatie(m): 12:17pm On Nov 10, 2013 |
Abali1: ii can see u find it difficult to come out openly to answer the question hn simple english u wil not condone a fiancee who keeps/exhibits traits of extra-intimate affairs but u are comfortable for the woman to accept extrd-intimate affairs from the man. Even tho u know friction is inevitable. Na wa o! 2 Likes |
Re: What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? by EfemenaXY: 12:33pm On Nov 10, 2013 |
Abali1: ~ What d'you mean keep the faith? Is bed-hopping and blatant promiscuity some sort of religion you advocate? ~ Yes, if she's got any shred of self-worth and decency, she should take a very long walk away from him and not look back! You saying that with her leaving him, someone else will keep the faith and stick with this irresponsibly boy till the end is nothing short of emotional blackmail which quite frankly, doesn't wash. Infact, it's a big joke and the joke's on you. ~ Buying material possessions in a person's name is no sign that the buyer is ready to wife the receiver. Infact, all it shows is immaturity on the part of the so-called buyer for believing that money can buy true love, respect and decency. This is pure Nollywood advice you're dishing out to gullible girls. No well brought up girl with a good back ground, parental love and support, and a decent education to go with, will fall for this lame trick. Save it for Omatas (uneducated wealthy men) and area boys. Abali1: Num 2 bolded.) True that. All the more reason for her to take a walk now that he's revealing his true colours. If she decides to cling on to him despite his life-threatening shortcomings, then it'll be solely out of greed for money / material wealth, and not because of some mis-guided notion that she can change him. Either way, she'll have no one to blame but herself if she decides to go on with it, because it most certainly will backfire in her face - big time. Abali1: ~ Just because you 'good' guys dated and stuck to one woman - doing the right thing - and yet it didn't work out is no excuse for playing the fiddle and expecting your intended spouse to tolerate it, much less accept it quietly. AIDS and other STD nasties are real. If you wanna sow your wild oats, then by all means do so - but don't drag decent ladies (if you do manage to find them with that mindset of yours), into the pits with you. ~ If you've 'wasted' years of your life being faithful in more than three or four relationships, then you need to ask yourself why you keep getting the same results, why you keep getting played or taken for granted, why you keep attracting the wrong sort of girls. You need to take a step back and look deep within yourself to see where you are going wrong, mate. Lashing out at, or taking 'revenge' on an innocent / unsuspecting girl is not the way forward. ~Where did you pick those girls up from? What sort of vibes / signals do you as a man give out? Do you flash the ca$h, bachelor's pad, and flash car in your girl's face? Are you that insecure that you feel the only way to get any girl interested in you, is by waving material things in her face? You need to search your soul - properly. ~ If you can't think independently for yourself, but rather go by people's biased opinion that ALL girls out there are bad, they can't be trusted, etc, then how d'you expect anyone to take you seriously? Don't you know that by allowing people 'think' for you, you come across as a weak man lacking in self-esteem? Abali1: Last Bullet: Why should you keep repeating the same mistake over and over again? Mind you, when I say mistake, I'm not referring to having a loving and caring nature. I'm referring to you attracting the same Brazilian weaving-BlackBerry waving-Mbegke girls over and over and over again. 3 Likes |
Re: What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? by Abali1(m): 12:40pm On Nov 10, 2013 |
baralatie: Abali1:Please read my reply to a similar question. I understand your simple English question, but your questions is not relevant in the Context of this thread. Re-focus your attention to the thread. |
Re: What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? by Abali1(m): 12:49pm On Nov 10, 2013 |
Efemena_xy:Aunty Efe, You are really angry ohh! Calm down now, no be fight. I will take on your questions, step by step as I am playing the devils advocate today. |
Re: What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? by Abali1(m): 12:49pm On Nov 10, 2013 |
Efemena_xy:I have never advocated infidelity AKA bed-hopping (in your words). I asked severally in this thread if OP or her sister has ever caught this guy physically cheating. Apart from online chat and maybe BBM. Now to some people that is cheating and enough reason to cancel an upcoming wedding. NB OPs sister has a choice to make, as do all of us. |
Re: What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? by Abali1(m): 12:49pm On Nov 10, 2013 |
Efemena_xy:Emotional Blackmail or not, the Lady is the one wearing the shoes and she is in the best position to make her decisions. I am only showing that this guys attitude could be argued both ways. And Yes, there is someone out there who will readily fill in the gap when she leaves (if she decides to leave). |
Re: What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? by Abali1(m): 1:13pm On Nov 10, 2013 |
Efemena_xy:Well brought up girls with sound education and good parntal background will surely come to NL and complain that the guy is Faithful, but not caring and loving. Infact he is so stingy that he has never given me any present, nor taken me out for dinner or lunch...... NL, please should I marry him? So therefore, buying her materials things is not a basis for her to accept marrying him. But it is a pointer to his nature. |
Re: What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? by Abali1(m): 1:25pm On Nov 10, 2013 |
Efemena_xy:Again, the OPs sister wears the shoe we can only assume what the situation is really like. If she clings to him and it back-fires, she has only herself to blame. If she stays with him and he turns out to be the Best she can ever wish for, she is the only one that will smile the most. The OP said that his only obvious short-coming is pass wording his phones and the lady finding he has been "philandring online". NB OPs sister has a choice to make. You can't call her greedy if she decides to stay. To each his/her own. |
Re: What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? by Abali1(m): 1:37pm On Nov 10, 2013 |
Efemena_x:How many ladies are truely innocent? Aunty Efe, Don't write decent on the faces of people. Visit the romance section and see them guys lamenting about this and that, sam with ladies. You have got to show me your 'Good heart' before I know that you are truely Decent. I am sorry about this, but that is the mindset I have had for a very long time untill recently. |
Re: What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? by Abali1(m): 1:46pm On Nov 10, 2013 |
Efemena_xy:You really Lashed out at me in this part. We have never met and I bet 'you really don't want to walk a mile in my shoes'. So I don't have anything to say in my defence, and also this thread is not about me. So calm down and stop being angry. |
Re: What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? by baralatie(m): 2:32pm On Nov 10, 2013 |
Abali1:ur answer shows u favour extra -intimacy affairs wel,wel. |
Re: What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? by EfemenaXY: 2:35pm On Nov 10, 2013 |
Abali1: On the contrary, I'm not fighting you, neither am I angry. Why should I be? Just as you're playing the devil's advocate here, so also am I calling you out to defend your claims and what you've typed out here for all to see. Abali1: Well then, if you don't condone bed-hopping and outright promiscuity, kindly explain what you meant by the phrase keeping the faith. What faith were you referring to? Abali1: Now you see, I really do have a problem with the bolded - where it's okay and socially acceptable for the guy to play the field - but the girl isn't allowed to. When you say you're arguing on behalf of the guy's attitude both ways, can you do the same for a runz girl involved in aristo? If no, then why not? Don't you think what's good for the goose is good for the gander? But most importantly, when defending this guy's disrespectful attitude, remember he's doing what he's doing with another girl who might as well be some other guy's babe. We had a thread opened not too long ago about a guy who was really pi$$ed off with his church-going-fellowship-leading girl he wanted to get serious with, for keeping a wealthy married man on the side. https://www.nairaland.com/1501280/confused-should-take-back-let Of course he was advised to dump the girl. I'm sure you must have seen the thread and if you did, why didn't you defend the girl, telling the guy that: ~ He was her chosen one? ~ He should keep the faith, otherwise, there'll be other guys out there and willing to keep the faith and marry her - and it'll be his loss, not hers? ~ She was simply 'testing' to see if he would pass her infidelity test ~ The money she gained from her aristo runz, spent on buying presents for him was a sure sign of her loving and caring nature, and that she was ready to husband him? Abali1: Again, I disagree with you on this. A well brought up girl as I've outlined wouldn't be that crass to come out and lament her guy's shortfalls. She would have enough decorum to avoid the embarrassment of having to tell him what to do! Do you know how hard it is for girls of this nature to accept gifts from men? Or to ask a man to remember her birthday or get a present for her?? Do you know how hard the mothers (and even fathers) of these girls will descend on them for coming home with an unaccounted for present? I cringe even typing this. Lord help my daughter if she tries it! If the guy I'm dating is too dense to remember to get me a present to mark an anniversary - say my birthday for example - the decent thing for me to do will be to do my due diligence (i.e question his background - is he a Jehovah's witness and so doesn't believe in presents? Did he genuinely forget or was it deliberate?) I tell you this, rather than break a sweat on such a person, most decent girls will cut him loose abeg. Why? Because it's not about the money or present itself, but the thought that counts. Such girls would be working anyway, earning their own income, so what will they need such a guy's chicken-change money for anyway? If I tell you that even as a student on campus, I always paid my way and never depended on a guy for 1 kobo, would you believe me? I hope you get my drift now? Abali1: Apart from your last sentence, we're both saying the same thing here - freedom of choice. Abali1: I don't have to visit the romance section to know that a huge majority of the people there are kids and people who project fake lives. If you're looking to settle down, you'll be looking for a mature, level-headed girl, not a hormone-induced-prepubescent child feeling funky. Marriage is for adults - it's not kids game, so you're referring to posts in the romance section doesn't hold much water in my opinion. Abali1: Now don't get all emotional on me, claiming I lashed out on you. BUT, if you did find my post harsh, it wasn't intended to be, so pls don't take it the wrong way or personally. Of course we've never met. All I know (perceive to know about you) is based on what you've typed up here. Once again, I'm not angry. I'm as cool as cucumber, actually. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? by Nobody: 2:49pm On Nov 10, 2013 |
Abali on the HOT chair. Don't worry, I get soft drinks and pure water by d side, just signal if u need any! |
Re: What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? by Abali1(m): 2:58pm On Nov 10, 2013 |
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Re: What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? by Abali1(m): 3:00pm On Nov 10, 2013 |
Efemena_xy: |
Re: What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? by EfemenaXY: 3:05pm On Nov 10, 2013 |
Abali1: kindly explain what you meant by the phrase keeping the faith So, what you're saying in essence is that despite the warning signs, albeit a month to their wedding, she should bury her head in the sands and go ahead with marrying an obviously not-yet-ready-to-marry A player will always be a player. Practice makes perfect. Don't forget he started drawing back on their 'openness', by lying that the reason he locked his phone was because he and his male pals induldged in raw chats, and he didn't want to offend her. Problem is he got careless (as they always do eventually) and she was able to 'hack' into his phone. Only after confronting him with the evidence did he spill it all out (not without a fight though) and at the end, was left begging. Why did he have to beg her? 1 Like |
Re: What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? by baralatie(m): 3:06pm On Nov 10, 2013 |
Abali1: . i said u are in favour.did i not |
Re: What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? by Abali1(m): 3:10pm On Nov 10, 2013 |
Efemena_xy:Well, what can I say. A girl can try it, if her guy overlooks it fine and good. I remember the thread, I also remember that the guy forgave her the first time before the 'convocation money' and hoe she only want to chop the mumu man.......It is not the same issues here. |
Re: What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? by EfemenaXY: 3:15pm On Nov 10, 2013 |
Abali1: Actually, it's the same issue: ~ Same lack of respect for their spouses and definitely no principles. ~ Same issue of the player wanting to eat his / her cake and have it. ~ Same case of lies being told before caught out with proof (i.e: BB chats vs facebook chats) How then can you say it's not the same thing?? |
Re: What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? by baralatie(m): 3:18pm On Nov 10, 2013 |
Abali1:7 stil defending extra-intimacy behaviour to the last spleen. U must posses an ambition to stick to more than one woman wit a passion. |
Re: What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? by EfemenaXY: 3:19pm On Nov 10, 2013 |
baralatie: 7 ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? by Abali1(m): 3:22pm On Nov 10, 2013 |
Efemena_xy: Aunty Efe, This contradicts your earlier assertion that Material items and money are for only Omata boys and Mbeke Girls. So you will actually cut a Guy loose if HE WAS SO CRASS AS TO FORGET GETTING ANYTHING FOR YOU ON YOUR BIRTHDAY, IRRESPECTIVE OF HIM BEING A FAITHFUL GUY. |
Re: What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? by baralatie(m): 3:26pm On Nov 10, 2013 |
Abali1:twisting a reply to divert ur ass. Lolz! |
Re: What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? by Nobody: 3:27pm On Nov 10, 2013 |
Re: What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? by Nobody: 3:30pm On Nov 10, 2013 |
OP, don do wedding finish Efe and Abali still here arguing ![]() |
Re: What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? by baralatie(m): 3:30pm On Nov 10, 2013 |
chaircover: Ha! Please lets take it easy on my brother Abali oooo!tel Am Nah!e wan carry 10 woman at on sitting! |
Re: What Does The Future Hold?....should The Wedding Be Cancelled? by Nobody: 3:31pm On Nov 10, 2013 |
Cancer I think your sis should have a heart to heart talk with him. Obviously the bros still wants to play around. My own is if he still wanted to why is he engaged and why does he want to marry your sis ![]() ![]() The dude wan rock life, why is he just starting now? He should have played the field and retired and moved on marital things. If the behaviour continues, it's better for your sis to call the wedding off 1 Like |
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