;d

A local reporter was interviewing locals about the various uses of Vaseline. He knocked on a door, and a man answered in his bathrobe.
"Sir, could you tell me what you use Vaseline for?"
"Hmm, well, dry lips, dry skin, and, of course, sex."
"Sex?"
"Well, me and the missus put a little Vaseline on the doorknob, "
"Yeah?"
"And it keeps the kids out."

A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull."
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, "If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant."
The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, "What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!"
The kid smiles and says, "I would be a bus driver!"

A woman goes to the drugstore and asks for arsenic. "What do you want arsenic for ?" the pharmacist asks.
"I want to kill my husband, " she replies. " he's having an affair with another woman."
" I can't sell you arsenic to kill your husband," says the pharmacist, " even if he is cheating."
The woman pulls out a picture of her husband with the pharmacist's wife. The druggist turns pale and replies. "oh, I didn't realize you had a prescription."

she said he was gettin 'em. so no rain coat be dat o!

I got only two. real male brain i guess

Abi?

Hmmmn! the poor prince shl wait for another 3yrs and say "PLEASE MARRY ME"

These three men went out on this fishing trip, but as they we sailing along in their little boat, a storm picked up and swept them onto a rather small island.

Now the men weren't scared at first, but when they saw these cannibals chasing after them, they began to run for their lives. The canibals were much faster than they were, and so they captured the three men, and brought them to their King.

The King said, "I want each of you to pick 10 fruits. Each man must collect a different fruit as to that of the other two. Once you have done this, return to me, and I will tell you what to do."

So the men, fearing their lives, run out and began to search madly for any fruit. The first man returns after a while with 10 apples. The King grinned wickedly and said, "Now you must take those 10 apples and shove them up your ass without making any facial expression. If you fail to do so, I will kill you!"

The poor man gets up to number 8 and then screams, as the pain was so intense. The King killed him right then and there, and returned to see the second man coming back with 10 strawberries. The second man got his instructions, too, and was up to the 10th strawberry, when all of a sudden, for no apparent reason, he begins laughing hysterically. So the King killed him, too, just as he did with the first man.

Now the first man and the second man meet up in Heaven, and the first man asks the second man, "Why did you laugh? You were on your last strawberry, and you could have gotten away!"

The second man said with a little smile, "Yeah, I know, but I couldn't resist laughing when I saw the third man coming back with pineapples!"

of course!

no more licking or spitting on me finger

had shed tears

hmmmn! loving in deed.

dats cheatig