Ok,picture this scenario: You're a guy. You're in a relationship with a very nice girl. She's a virgin(it's not some devious trick,she really is a virgin),and she says she's waiting till marriage. You're a decent bloke,and you love her like crazy so you respect her decision. She's a bit naïve,she's young;20,21,and you're her first serious r/ship. You've been together for 8,9 months. Prior to this,she was more financially buoyant;in fact,it'd caused problems in the past since you had a problem accepting her help. Anyway,now you just got a great job and you're now on equal footing with her financially. You move in together,but there's still no sex. You try not to pressure her,but you want her,badly,and living with her doesnt help matters. You try to make her see how difficult the situation is for you,but she still doesnt budge. Naturally,your r/ship becomes strained. You throw yourself into work and become distant,you don't talk,you never listen etc,and you use work as an excuse. It's not like you're doing it deliberately,you really love her,but still,your r/ship worsens and both of you quarrel often. Once,you travelld on business. You were gone for a few weeks,you never calld,you werent there when she needed you,basically you neglected her. During this time she grows closer to a friend of hers,a guy,who she's known for a while . He's in a wheelchair. He's in love with her,but she has no clue. She's naive and inexperienced. She doesnt see him as a man,she's unaware of his sexuality and how he feels about her. She doesnt see him as a threat(she thought he couldnt perform,not that he ever said so,she just assumed cos he's paralysed from the waist down). While you were away,he gave her the emotional support she needed. One night,he kissed her for the very first time. She got carried away,and that same day,he made love to her. You get back from your trip and notice she seems diff. In her defense,she did try to tell you,but as usual you didnt listen. You tell her you wanna do things right and u ask her to marry you.

Shit steves! That was so long i couldnt read past the first few lines. @topic,love is confusing. Love is hard work. Love is being in jail without a possibility of parole. Love is a baby's smile. Love is an illness. Love is happiness. Love is intimacy,of the best kind. Love is fun. Love is life.

Choose btw you and his flirting chick? There's no choice to be made. Since when does flirting equal cheating?

Of course nothing happened! She went into his room to check out the floral pattern of his bedspread,y'know,the interior desigh,not to get her brains screwed out. I cant believe you're still contemplating what to do.

Ancestral spear. Love and likeness.

@outstrip,it's not that obvious. You wouldnt believe the kinds of things people in your age bracket do. @topic,miley. Selena's cute,but miley's just adorable.

The woman disgusts me. Sometimes i feel like we should pack all the gay people in this world and dump them on some island in the middle of nowhere. That way they'll go extinct.

Dont gum the girl. I think there should be a level of space at every point in time during a r/ship. That you're in love does not mean both of you have suddenly merged into one,or that one partner is an extension of the other or vice-versa. You're still seperate individuals,and for your relationship to work,you need to maintain your seperateness,and each partner deserves a level of space. Using the 'i need some space' card is usually a painless way to break up with someone;it's so gradual,sometimes the other person doesnt even know what's going on. I dont think i'd be comfortable with my woman asking me for space because i know i dont crowd her.

You are an extremely selfish woman. I feel sorry for the poor idiot who married you. People like you give your sex a bad name.

Should this topic be here?

Oh and 4-to be perfectly honest,i'm not really sure i can date an ugly woman. There are ugly women who are beautiful from the inside,and i'm all for that,but it's the beauty on the outside that first attracts the guy. So if she's not pretty and otherwise endowed,then i wouldnt be attracted to her.

1-i guess some men are intimidated by taller women,but when it comes down to it,a tall iroko tree-ish woman isnt physically attractive. 2-sex isnt the most important part of a r/ship,but let's not kid ourselves,it's a very important part of it. 3-i think all guys go through that stage of playing the field,but when it gets to a certain point in a man's life when he wants to settle down,and falling in love with an amazing woman doesnt hurt. Personally,a couple of years ago,marriage was the last thing on my mind;i mean why tie yourself to one woman when you can have a dozen? Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? That was mentality,and i did a lot of stuff,hurt people,i guess,but with time,that changed. I got tired of my own shit,and i met a woman who's so different from every other woman i've been with;she didnt treat me like a demi-god,didnt take my crap,was self-confident,and who pissed me off so damn much,but made me smile,a woman who's crazy,but in a good way,y'know,one of those people who can laugh at themselves. When you meet that person,it's an amazing thing,and i'm so unbelievably lucky to have this now. So yeah,i wasnt into marriage, at all,i saw it as a prison of sorts,and a part of me's still scared,but love helps.

Craig is different,no doubt about that. I get they wanna reinvent james bond,but still,i wish we were back to the good old bond flicks,unrealistic and all.

Daniel craig's the worst james bond i've ever seen. He goes against everything james bond stands for. Bond's smooth,suave,not some macho tough guy that looks like he was in the army. Bond's charm lies in his power to be the chic magnet he is,unfailingly attracting women of all types to himself,and always getting the girl. Hell,i'm pretty sure roger moore didnt have a bod! And then the gadgets,the unbelievable gadgets bond always had(e.g,the invisible car),what the hell happened to those? Then,there are no well-defined villains,no character as ferociously evil as blofeld,or kananga or even gustav. Then,in the craig flicks,there is no defined plot;in quantum of solace,i didnt understand what was going on for at least half of the film. Then,the craig flicks are too damn violent,in an hour of the film,there were barely 10 minutes of dialogue,the rest is just fighting. I'm just really disappointed that this is what james bond has been reduced to. They could've found someone better,and they should have

Yes i would be very upset,No,i would not want to know,and No, i dont think it's right. Oh,and,by the way,i think there's something seriously wrong with your r/ship if you feel such urges to cheat-to cheat,mind you,not a harmless oh,he's cute or oh,he's got a nice bod,but oh,i want to have sex with this man,and if you have these urges,then you're probably thinking about sleeping with him all the time. Who knows? Maybe you're having fantasies about him,or sex dreams,or maybe you imagine it's him when you and ur bf are getting it on. My point is,this is very serious,there's something seriously wrong with ur r/ship,and you need to get help,fast,or you'l end up cheating. Desire,when fertile,gives birth to sin.

women are generally more emotional creatures-they generally cant have mindless sex(emotions r involved-that's why to them it's not just sex,it's making love),so for a woman to cheat on you,she's disconnected from you on some level. Those are the signs to look for-an emotional disconnection;maybe she doesnt talk to you as much as she used to,she's no longer interested in both of you doing stuff together,and when you're with her,there's this indifference,like she's not even there,so the signs of emotional disconnection,that's what you should look for.

seriously,what is it with you kids? Why cant you write straight? What's with all the stupid abbreviations? It's very annoying. Moving on,what to do? Here's my advice:go jump in a lake. There'd be one less idiot in the world.

@everyone who's wished me well,thanks. @ ezinne,ur question got me thinking. It's not that i'm pissed off because the focus is away from me(that'd be stupid-i mean,what happens when we have kids?),but i just feel she's too absorbed in the planning that she's forgetting the more important things-namely,how much we love each other and why we want to get married. If i try to shift the date,it would seem like i'm stalling,and that's not the impression i wanna give. I dont have cold feet,i'm a 100% sure that this is what i want to do and she's the woman i want to spend the rest of my life with. I cant see myself involved in the planning(beyond paying the bills),but it's worth a try,i guess.

ok,so sometime last month,i got engaged to an amazing woman. She's everything to me,she's funny,independent,caring,beautiful. . I could go on and on. She sees past all my shit,my issues,and sees me,the real me,and loves me,just the way i am. So anyway,i got over my commitment issues,bought her a ring and asked her to marry me,and she said yes. So i told her that i wanted her to have the wedding of her dreams. I know the whole wedding stuff is really important to women. So she said she wanted a big wedding(between us we know a lot of ppl nd we both come from big families). I was cool with that. I still am. The problem is,of late i feel she's become too absorbed in the planning. That's the only thing she's ever interested in talking about,y'know,how many cloth material for aso-oke she's bought,the gifts,caterers etc. I thought if we got engaged,we'd just get married and get it over with,but everything is just so complicated,and hard. I feel she's so absorbed in the wedding preparations she's lost sight of the marriage,and why we want to do this. I tried talking to her about it,but she was like it's her day and she wants it to be perfect. I'm just feeling kinda angry that it's like i'm not even there anymore. I want her to be happy. I know this means a lot to her,i mean,you only get married once,but still it pisses me off. Is it selfish of me to feel the way i do?

no,they dont. I believe that no teenager(from like 13 to 15 or 16)can truly be in love. In the words of one teenager i know pretty well :"where i am right now(teenagerhood)is a very confusing period. I'm trying to figure out who i am as a person,my likes and dislikes,my strengths and my weaknesses,my personality is constantly fluctuating. If i dont know who i am,how could i possibly know what i want in a guy? How could i know what i wanted in a r/ship,and by the same token,fall in love? And then,teenagers,we sometimes tend to believe that the whole world revolves around us,we can be pretty self-consumed,selfish. Love is the exact opposite of that. It's sacrifice,it's putting the other person first,and teenagers simply do not have the emotional maturity to truly feel something as complex as romantic love". I rest my case!

Would you take a lie detector test? Come on,it's ridiculous!

Ok,my gf nd i are watching an episode of oprah(sumn abt foolproofing ur marriage nd why men cheat) and CyberLove was qualified as cheating. Do you agree? Personally,i dont think watching porn qualifies as cheating. And here's what kills me,the shrink,Gary Neuman suggested that if a wife(or in our case,a gf)suspected her husband was having an affair,she should,get this. . . Ask him to take a lie detector test. It gets better,there was a guy who actually agreed to take the test. Crazy huh? So guys,would you take the test and girls,would you even ask? And do you think CyberLove is cheating?

i rily dont get why some women feel that having a man in their lives is a must if they wanna be happy. Take for example,there's this woman i knw. She's a friend. She'd been engaged to a guy for bout 6 months. Two months to their wedding,she found out that he'd impregnated two women. Now it's all well and good to play the field,but when you've made a commitment to someone,to something as serious as marriage,everything's changed. Now when she found out,she broke up with him(thank God for small mercies!). Instead of her to thank her stars that she'd found out the kind of devious,conniving S.o.b he was b4 she married the idiot,she's busy mooning over the guy,worrying herself sick because no other guys are coming,and wondering whether she should take him back. Must you women have a man in your life? Is your happiness,your entire self-worth dependent on some guy? I just dont get how many women subject themselves to all kinds of emotional abuse just because they want a man. Their desperation makes it so much more easier for us to be jerks,and when we act like the jerks they've encouraged us to be,these desperate women wil be the first to say we're wicked. Then because we're used to being jerks(because they let us),we end up risking ppl we care about. It's amazing how much of a jerk you can be just outta habit.

losing the woman i loved broke me. A part of me died when our r/ship ended. It was the single most painful experience i'v ever gone thru. Why the hell would i want to willing put myself thru that again? So for so long,i created a barrier btw my emotions and women. I refused to let myself love anyone and i was doing great until i met Her. Y'knw a lotta people say you love only once. I was lucky enough to find that kinda love twice. And i'm happy. I really. But getting truly heartbroken is like a wound. It wont hurt forever,but the scar will always be there. And even i am so happy,i'm just filled with this choking fear that i'm gonna lose her. And sometimes that fear is so thick i cant even breathe. Losing the first woman i loved scarred me,and i just dont think i can deal with that kinda pain all over again. So now it's like i'm holding back somehow,and she knows why i feel the way i do,bt sometimes i think someday she'l get fed up of me and my issues.

!oh come on ! !

he's the guy who hates women. Reminds me of this other fella,Adam brody. Wonder where he is.

@thoniaslim,seriously? How can you sleep with all that anger nd frustrated tension?

yup yup. Making up's the best part of arguing .

@chaircover,lol. I had a gf like that once. When she was pissed,she'd start scrubbing;the bathroom,toilet,kitchen,or she'd just mop the whole house(seriously,how do y'all do that?). @iice,some ppl listn to rock when they're angry.

@spiked,back at ya.