Farfalla:


You're talking to a woman whose best friend is her father for Pete's sake, so it goes without saying that I have nothing against men in general.

I generally like alpha males. It's the blatant misogyny so rampant in Nigeria that I hate to the core.

It's creepy when Nigerian women talk about misogyny.

Farfalla:


I'm not projecting anything mister.

Just go through Nairaland posts on any rape thread. 85% of the time they'll be attacking the victims but never condemning the perpetrators. Not at all.

If someone from my gender laced somebody's drink and killed him for rituals for instance, I'd definitely condemn the act. I wouldn't support her.

By the way, have you been following the vomit-inducing posts from the rape apologists on this thread?

Dear Falla, you don't have to hold back, I was only helping highlight your mindset towards men generally. Therefore, there'd be no need to reduce the proportion to 85% from the initial 100%.

Farfalla:


Oh CumOn! (pun intended)

With all the rape apologists on this forum, do you think it's a far-fetched theory? I'll say it again. Those boys are on Nairaland.

Based on your abstract thinking, it'd rather be illogical to project it on men on this forum. Pretty sure you'd put on an armour when your gender is typically described ( you know what I meant)

Farfalla:
Those rapists are on Nairaland. I can bet my life savings.

What has happened to you?. You've stooped so low.

Mariangeles:


Is that what it’s been all about?
Well, you are a man, lose the victim mentality and deal with it!

I think I have the right to ask a rhetorical question, don't I?
And if need be to emphasize your cherry picking, we need to ask the question, why more than 2,000 men would be a victim of war missiles while some are hidden under the cover of the same men just because " they are women"

NoToPile:


Simple ooo.

Simple o? Smh!
If you are given a monetary favour ( which you hardly earn) or given a free pass on a long queue or the women shouting "Aluta" to the National Assembly for the inclusion on female gender rights just because " you are a woman". When it ALL favours you, then "you are a woman"

PrimadonnaO:


It is the exact meaning and implication, and projection when a person says "you're a woman."

Is there a contextual difference when a mother tells her child " you're a girl"?

PrimadonnaO:


Why's that reminder necessary?

Is there a doctor's report that she suffers from amnesia?


Who sent you to awaken her consciousness? Whoever said she isn't self-aware?


Y'all better need to do away with these absurd projections, and expectations.

Much of the sentiments I can deduce from most of the replies so far is the fact that "you are a woman" can be emotionalized which mostly tend to twist the narratives and lower the bar but same sentiments would raise the bar and maintain the standard in all circumstances for " you are a man" . It's an unfair world, isn't it?

RightToReject:



From all indications, you're a gender bigot, and the fact that you obviously have a very low IQ makes it worse, so I don't see the need to enter into a needless dialogue with you.

Now scram and direct your further mention to small-minded people like you.

You are a little one dimensional and largely failed at Emotional intelligence too.

Mariangeles:


Not when you're not being straightforward.

I can't remember I was

thorpido:
Saying the truth is patronizing?

Using an example of inegalitarian man appears patronising.

Mariangeles:


Ok. Wetin be your issue with women gangan? Because this your conversation don enter another dimension.

I thought we're discussing a topic

eyinjuege:
It sounds patronising.
Majority of people do not like to be patronised .
My reply to such depends on my mood e.g
"really, I could've sworn I was hermaphrodite " or
" Einstein, you've just discovered what the world didn't know" or
"And so?" or
Just ignore because I don't have energy to talk.
But if it's your own way of making petty talk, I still don't have energy. No vex

You are indifferent.
It is rather more reasonable to be indifferent than pander to unnecessary bandwagoning.

Mariangeles:


The question is would a woman say that to another woman during such a conversation?
Or you just dey find talk where talk no dey?
Iwo gan ro naa. Would it make any sense?

I would have you to be entirely honest. Is it uncommon for a woman to tell another woman that " you are a woman" and therefore "you can't do this, you can only do that".
I have often heard women say to each other" I am a woman as you are, this is the way to go as a woman"
Very importantly, I have asked but haven't gotten a response to my earlier question. Almost every mother tells their girl child " you are a girl". How different is it from "you are a woman"?. Did you get offended when your mum told you that?

Tallesty1:
Telling a woman that she's a woman isn't what gets her angry. It is when it was said and how it was said that gets her angry.


If you're in a group of women, broke and in need of cash and someone suddenly starts giving them 100k each.


But when he gets to you he says, dude you're a man and leaves you with nothing, can you in all honesty say that you won't be sad?

Telling a woman that she's a woman most times means shut up, this is not your place or you don't deserve this etc.

Say the truth. E no hard

Some men are trying to patronize women on this thread but it's all good tho.
Have you considered that a broke man in the midst of a group of broke women would not get angry at being denied some wad of cash much as he would be when denied a 100k in the midst of a group of broke men.
I wouldn't be angry when I am being reminded that I am a man in the midst of women but would scatter the table when you denied me what's meant for me in the midst of my fellow men.

A clearer example is when a coat that is meant for a man, during cold season is passed on to a woman for warmth. During a cold season, when a boy or a man is told that "you're a man", give the coats to the women. No eyebrows is raised. The men suffer the cold to the chest just because they are men while the women hangs the coat around the chest just because they are women.

A man in the midst of women is already at a disadvantage, meanwhile in the midst of his fellow men, it is the survival of the fittest.

RightToReject:



Maybe a likely conversation between an inegalitarian man and a woman in a scenario like the following might help you understand better why a woman, whether reasonable or unreasonable, will feel angry when being reminded that she's a woman:

State of the nation as the subject of discussion

- The inegalitarian man - Nigeria can never get better, not now, and not in the future.

- A woman - no, Nigeria might get better someday, after all, no condition is permanent. A good leader can easily turn the fortunes of the country and citizenry around.

- The inegalitarian man - you are a woman.

As you might observe from the conversation above, the inegalitarian man's last interjection wasn't obviously done in good faith, but to debase - of course, his demeanor and/or tone when saying that will definitely convey his true intention. Because he innately holds the belief that a woman is beneath a man in all indices; therefore, he wittingly or unwittingly concludes that she was talking nonsense. Whereas, realistically, from a rational and fair POV, the woman in the conversation made more sense than him.

I found your choice of " inegalitarian" as an inappropriate description. Let's broaden the argument a bit. If you substitute the " inegalitarian man" for a "woman" and make the conversation a " woman to woman" conversation, would the outcome/reaction have been the same?

WoundedLamb:
Ok.

Your analogies are not agreeable.

Palema007:
Well I do.

You don't. Your ego is recessive, men egos are dominant. know this and know peace.

Palema007:
"You are a woman" ehn ehn before nko? I be goat?

But heaven will help you sha if one day you need my input on a matter. Nah then you go explain your " you are a woman" sentence.



No stress at all.

Women don't have a big ego.

cococandy:
Okay bro

Your mum would most likely have said to you " you're a girl" did you feel offended?
Every mother would have told their girl child" You're a girl". Was it ill- intentioned?

WoundedLamb:


Hhmm... but your comment doesn't really show you read mine at all. You just said the opposite of what I wrote. I said they're not disputing the fact that they are women but only challenging the idea that they're not supposed to do some things cause they're women. You think a woman wants to be called a man? I gave an example using a man since the question came from a man.

That expression when taken out of context becomes useless. To understand why a lady wouldn't want to be told that, you must put into context. And people use that expression mostly to tell women what to do and what not to do thus the reason it has become limiting. A lady who just gave birth to twins wouldn't be upset when you tell her "dear, you're indeed a woman!" But when a lady desides to japa like everyone else or pursue her career to the fullest or contest for SUG president or speak up in public like everyone else or do any of those things men think are reserved for them, that's when you hear people say "you're a woman" or "don't you know you're a woman?" The person speaking is the one placing the limitation, the person objecting is only reacting to it.

You get it now?

NO

thorpido:
In what way could,'you're a child' be derision?

I asked same question because he said "you're a woman" could either be complimentary or derision.

If "You're a man" and " You're a child" are not derision, then why " you're a woman".

I am almost sure every mother at a point, would have told their girl child " You're a girl"..

cococandy:
For the DENSE people let me break to down for you.
Most women love being women and are proud of being women.


However we know that you guys don’t respect women due to your innate and nurtured misogyny. So when you say “you’re a woman” to a woman out of the blues and unrelated to whatever the conversation is, we know it’s because you think in your twisted mind that it’s a form of insult.

That’s why you think telling a man he acts or thinks like a woman is an insult. That’s why a man “driving like a woman” is unbecoming. That’s why you groom young boys to think the worst thing they can be is effeminate. So they overcompensate in order to prove they are not like lowly women.

When you tell a woman she’s a woman, it’s because you’re thinking in that moment that she’s overreaching her level and needs to “stay in her place”. The place you believe is beneath you.

But let’s all pretend to be idiots here shall we.

This is purely your own twisted interpretation and honestly, I feel sick to my stomach reading this.
When the society asked a boy child or an male adult to stop acting or thinking like a woman, please, please & please, hold the society that sets such a standard responsible, Not the men that are groomed to be men.
Naturally, women tend to seek love, caring, financial security and protection under the umbrella of a man. Do not put the blame on the men, put it on the women.

RightToReject:
It depends on the people involved and the situation where and how it happened:

It can be a complimentary remark - example, when a highly intuitive woman helps you dissect a person or extrapolate a concept quickly. From your demeanor and the connotation of your pronouncement, a reasonable woman in this regard will automatically understand that it comes from the place of justness and admiration from you, given that reasonable women tend to be highly intuitive.

Of course, it can be used to convey derision, as it's usually the case in most cases, rather than to compliment, just like smirking and smiling/laughing do, respectively - In this regard, the demeanor and connotation of the pronouncement, no matter how hard one might try to gloss their true intention, will definitely show that it was made to deride.

I can understand the complimentary part but the derision part is lost on me.

If you told a child " You're a child", it is complimentary, derision or could be both?
How could " you're a woman" have two sides of a coin?

pocohantas:


Me no dey argue with man. E better make I go pick beans. They are too HEmotional to see beyond their noses. I jump and pass.

You are a bag of troubles.

WoundedLamb:
Context and intentions get them upset, not the fact that they are women. In other words, they don't have issues with being women. Rather, they have issues with the idea that a woman isn't supposed to say/do whatever it is they said/did that made you make the statement. You'd naturally drag me to the grave if I say to you, "you're supposed to pay your girlfriend's school fees. You're a man." It's not because you're not a man but because you don't think being a man makes it your duty to pay a girl's school fees. I thought this was obvious though.

Do you mean "you are a woman" places certain limitations on them? Care to give examples.
You bringing in gender obligations. Such that a woman has what and what not she is obligated to?.. I think it will only gets more complicated and distasteful when women begin to tell us what & what not they are obligated to.
To make things much easier for everyone, women must accept the fact that they are women.

hucknall:
speak for yourself alone. There is nothing offensive about being called a man.

I love this.

cococandy:


If you’re telling me I’m beautiful it’s because it’s a compliment and you’re expecting a reaction.
When you feel the need to remind a woman that she’s a woman, what’s the purpose? Is it a compliment?

The purpose of the statement will determine the reaction you get.

If you’re having a conversation about finances and then single a woman in the conversation out to remind her that she’s a woman, what’s the purpose at that moment?
If we are having a conversation about war and you turn to a woman and remind her she’s a woman, what’s the purpose of that reminder in that moment?
If the conversation is about motherhood and you remind a woman that she’s a woman, is it the same as when you choose to remind her she’s a woman in a different scenario?

Do I or anyone else on this thread seem dense to you?

Ok, I'm trying my hardest to get women's logic here.
To an average Woman, "You're a woman" have different meanings in different levels of conversation. (Whereas "You're a man" means the same for all conversation).
I suppose the true nature of a woman varies with changing circumstances. A man would always remain true to himself in both times of war, peace and finances. I talk for every man because we have proven to be better logical in every situations.
Why must it varies among the women?. Your being a woman in times of war is different from your being a woman in finances. You are being a weaker vessel in war times but the best finance manager when it comes to money management. Which was why I earlier asked if we needed any set rules to know when to appropriately situate the female gender.. Men would probably be needing some rules in the nearest future on when to tell a gender " You are a woman"

pocohantas:


E better make shark chop me, than to dey argue with man.

Lol.. Woman, you're funny.. I have seen you argue with men on this site and men actually did give you identity here.

NoToPile:
All these threads sha, we all know what the statement mean but una sha like to dey drag matter.

My mum had one tenant who said he can't sit down and talk with a woman

"You are a woman, I can't sit down and talk with a woman". It's not offensive, he is only setting his priorities.
A woman would encounter you in a bus and say " You're a man, I can't sit beside a man".. That's her preference, her priority.

DonroxyII:
No worry, e get how a woman will tell you "You are a Man, get this thing done" and your head will hot like fresh Bread na Presentation Lo matter.

Please explain better.. Presentation like " You're a man, mop the floor? or " you're a man, buy beef when you coming back from work"..

In my office, sometimes these women want to take an advantage of the fact that, " they are women" as against when the odds do not favor them. Isn't that selective greed?

Arsenate:

Someone who doesn't really know what gaslight means, lol.

@topic, probably women who hate being women. The masculine ones.

If I gaslighted you, I guilty trip you, right?. I stand corrected. If I said " You are a woman" , how does it translate to gaslighting?.. I can only gaslight you if I make you feel you aren't a woman enough. Unless the statement means that I make them feel inferior.
Does saying" You're a woman" makes them feel inferior?.. I don't think so, I don't believe so.