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Nairaland Forum / Dami456's Profile / Dami456's Posts
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pryme: 3rd wave feminism might have some extremes, but it is absolutely incorrect to say that women are dismantling or waging a war on it. Because feminism is a lot more than just "manspreading" or whatever. The fundamental goals of feminism, such as the ability to vote, own property, equal rights, equal opportunities and equal pay and to be in positions of authority, are not going to go away, as no woman is going to go back to living without it. Even Condoleezza Rice that said what she said about snowflakes, is still in a position of authority and she's not going to give that up because some people don't like that feminism has made it inconvenient for them to discriminate against women. The "war on feminism" is against its extremes. The main tenets of feminism are still very much in place. |
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epelumi42: Well said. Cooking and cleaning is a feminine role because we have humans just decided that it is. There's no cookbook or cooking manual that comes with the extra X chromosome or the female DNA. Women were taught and indoctrinated by society into taking up this role. And as such, can be taught not to. Or can have men be taught to in equal measure, as well. 1 Like |
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princfred: And how many of those poor men have children living remotely good lives? Most of them are living in poverty and hawking stuff and begging on the street. If you think urban regions where there's growing feminism, would be riddled with a bunch of poor men that have never heard of birth control, and are changing wives, then you're more delusional that I thought. Or as feminism grows and more women are become indoctrinated, they would agree to be a poor man's interchangeable wives, then I laugh in your face. The poor man having multiple interchangeable wives is a testament to an old patriarchal culture and another platform that feminism is changing. |
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princfred: It's hilarious that you think every man is going to be able to change wives often. Do you think every man is Otedola? How much do you think the average Nigerian man makes a month? Is it Gbenga that's making 60k/month with 2 children from his first wife that'll have the resources to be changing wife often? Lmao! Not sure what country you think you're in, but the actual average Nigerian man is dirt poor and with our economic state, most cannot afford to have families on one measly income. Also not sure what ganja you've been smoking, but no, there aren't an increasing number of women going to babalawo's looking for a man. Life is not a nollywood movie. Many Nigerian men will tell you themselves, that cooking and cleaning is no longer enough. In our current state, a woman that makes a good income will find it easier to find someone than one that has no reputable skills beyond homemaking and places all of the financial burden on the man. Your snarky remark at women giving money to boys for sex, highlights your obvious bitterness about it. Because instead of pandering to the demands of a useless husband, most of these women would rather live their lives alone fulfill their emotional needs with friends and family, and their sexual needs from the virile, attractive men that they solicit sex from. After a woman has been married once, she realizes that men actually get a lot more from marriage than women do and women give up more for their marriages. And suddenly a stress free single life is much more appealing than the burden of a husband (again, statistics on the happiness of single men vs married men and single women vs married women). No one expects a woman to "house" a guy, why should she? But paying half the bills and expenses does give her half the rights and the responsibilities to the relationship/marriage. It makes no sense to take on all the expenses, when it can be shared with someone, which again, ironically, is what a lot of men are now looking for. How many men do you see going to village to find a girl that has no reputable skills beyond cooking and cleaning? Lol. They don't because they too no longer want that sole responsibility of financial providership. The likelihood of a woman becoming financially incapable, perhaps via loss of her job, is just as much as that of a man. But at least, just as you alluded to, women would at least have cooking and cleaning to fall back to if she can no longer contribute financially. It's something she can pick up to balance things out. What do men have to fall back on when they become financially incapable? Absolutely nothing. Once he can no longer provide, he's discarded like trash or routinely disrespected, humiliated and made to feel useless, because society knows that men are only good for one thing. And once that's gone, no one cares about you anymore and no one cares what happens to you. So either way, rant bitterly all you want, but women will be fine. Every man is free to enjoy sexual freedom. Everyone should enjoy sexual freedom. But the days of a man holding it over your head and coercing you to have sex, just because he gave you some money or bought you rice and chicken will be diminishing. Women will have sex with men that they want to, because they want to. And the ones that are smart enough to be financially set will still be more attractive for relationships than the ones sitting at home waiting for some guy to come and pay all her bills. Plus most men are just not hot enough to get casual sex, so tbh, a lot of them will likely still be getting sex in relationships anyway, while some others will be sexually starved when they realize that just because you have some money doesn't entitle you to sex (or they catch STDs from prostitutes - same thing really). All in all, Rome wasn't built in a day. It didn't take a day to develop the patriarchal society that we currently have, and as such, it won't take a day for feminism to spread to the majority part of the nation. But the fact that its already started and affecting the lives of men, is why many men like you are coming to the internet to display your anger about it. We don't need to have more women willing to fully provide for men to prove the validity of feminism, all we need is for them to take on half the expenses, which a lot of them are well on their way to doing. And with that financial contribution, they demand the rights and respect that comes with that. |
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epelumi42: You're a good man. My man is like you. I pray for many like you for other deserving women. I never understood the whole thing about the woman taking on all or most the domestic duties. Pride has truly made too many of our Nigerian men useless. And a lot of these same men are the ones that expect her to work as well, given the economic recession that we're in, a lot of men cannot afford and take on the stress of being the primary, sole breadwinners. They need financial assistance and contributions from their wives. So now imagine, both of you wake up at 7am, to go to work, you both come back around the same time and then expect her to be the only one to go into the kitchen to do work part 2, while you sit in the living room drinking Orijin and watching Arsenal vs Barcelona on the tv. Such a man is wicked and selfish. Enter the kitchen too and help her. Even if its to cut onions and keep her company. Or sometimes, send her out of the kitchen and say something like "baby don't worry, I'm making dinner tonight" I gave this same advice to one of my colleagues at work the other day, his wife loved it so much he told me she was just smiling and pampering him around the house, for almost a week. She was so happy, she called me to thank me. He was happy to have made her happy and I'm sure he'll repeat it as often as he can. Same goes for other household tasks like cleaning or taking care of the children. 1 Like |
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princfred: The fact that you think that men will be better off either way, shows that your ignorance about statistics and the actual preference of women. No one in feminism is advocating for equal rights without responsibilities. Feminism has been, from the beginning, a movement that has encouraged women to work and financially contribute equally to their marriages. It's men that don't want that, because they know that with women working, the only thing that they used to bring to the relationship/marriage loses some value. If he messes up, he can no longer use that "well, shebi I pay all the bills around here" excuses anymore, because he knows that he's only paying for half of the stuff and she's paying half as well. The is the true craw that bugs a lot of men about feminism. They want to retain the power and have women dependent on them so that they can be allowed to do whatever they like. Well, too bad. Women are making more money now and with that, demanding the respect and equal treatment that they deserve. And with the worsening recession in Nigeria, every man knows that only a mumu will go with a woman that has never worked a day in her life or is making chicken change, over a woman that has her own and can contribute financially, so all of that burden isn't on him. A man that has his wife share in the financial responsibilities while expecting his wife to also do majority of the housework and do whatever he wants in the name of submission, is a useless fool that is too selfish to be a husband. And he deserves the terrible treatment and attitude from women, that he gets. Hate to break it to you, but lots of women that don't cook, get married. Lots that don't clean, get married. Sorry if that bothers you, but it happens often enough. In our current economic state, being able to cook and clean is not enough, and men know this. A lot of them are just no longer able to solely financially support their marriages. They have to find women that are making money as well, and the ability to cook and clean are often sacrificed, esp if the man can also cook and clean. A sensible man will share responsibilities instead of stupidly complaining about feminism. Lol why is it paining you that women are giving their money to small boys for sex? It's hilarious because you're bragging about how men are running after oloshos and that means that they'll be alright at the end of the day. Yet, its paining you that women will be the same. Lol! You can insult women who do this all you want, that's your problem, but in my opinion, more power to them. Worldwide statistics actually show that married men are happier than single men, while single women are happier than married men. Men actually get a lot more from marriage than women do; married men make more money and they live longer. The women that are paying small boys are enjoying themselves. Instead of being bound to and having to take care of a man-children that will most likely be selfish in the marriage, she can be with a virile young man at the peak of his sexual prime instead of a balding, lazy old husband that demands and demands and gives little to nothing. Abeg. Not sure where you're getting your info from (probably from other bitter, clueless men like yourself), but no, most feminists are not ugly. Sorry to inform you. A lot of them are attractive, financially successful women with good sexual acumen (and some also actually have good domestic skills, they just don't want to be the ones doing all the domestic duties all the time), and bring a lot more to the table than a woman that is sitting around waiting for 32yo Gbenga making 60k/month, to come and save her. Such a woman who has no clue about sex and is the boring, missionary, lights out scheduled sex at 8pm every Wednesday with the "Jesus does not want me to do that" mentality when it comes to every new sexual activity or position you bring to her. The one that most Nigerian men will end up cheating on anyway, with the oloshos, and then there is suddenly no more money for her to even cook stew for her children, because Gbenga did not realize that soliciting prostitutes on an 60k salary, is not conducive for being the primary breadwinner. Lol oshi. Feminists are here to stay, and will only grow. Men can bleat like goats all they want about it, it won't change. If you're not useless and are ready to give mutual love and respect and share in household responsibilities as you're sharing in financial responsibilities, then as a man, you'll be fine. If not, in a few years/decades, you'll be left by the wayside with oloshos as your lifetime achievement and legacy, while everyone else is laughing at him. Congratulations. |
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dumahi: No, my comment was precisely the kind of response that yours deserved. Insulting women because they choose to be empowered and feminist, and then pretending that you praise empowered women is exactly the kind of two-faced hypocrisy that I'm talking about. Do you think that if you asked Ngozi Okonjo whether she believes in the feminist ideology, she would disagree? All you're attempting to do is make a distinction without a difference. Feminists are not against loving and respecting your husbands, but they expect mutual love and respect back in equal measure. All of the insults that you rail on women, apply equally to men and highlights how they aren't any better or more important than women and they most certainly are not the pride of womanhood. |
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pocohantas: What a sad mentality. Having desires does not automatically give them the right to act on it. 1 Like |
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Lol it's the same men that insist on having the wife "support" him with money provision, that will suddenly be nowhere to be found when it comes to household chores. Men only like equality when it suits them. 2 Likes |
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epelumi42: Very true. Nothing but bitterness and insecurity here. When such men realize that they're not as important as they thought they were, and women no longer regard them as better, posts like these are what their low IQ brains start to come up. It hurts their fragile egos that women would rather choose to be empowered and be emancipated from them, than deal with man-children that ultimately offer nothing but stress and selfishness. Its fun to watch them tear their hair out about it though. I love that more women are starting to see the scam of traditional "male headship" marriages and relationships. Na who that one help? It has brought nothing but abuse and heartache for many women. Feminism is a literal lifesaver for many women that finally found the courage to leave their abusive husbands. While the selfish men refuse to see it, we know the rewards. The movement is not perfect and yes, there are extremists, but exceptions do not negate the rule. Men can screech about feminism all they want, nothing is going to change. 4 Likes 1 Share |
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franchasng: Lol its clear that it's really paining you that women enjoy sex with sexy men that have sexy bodies. Are you jealous? Is it because you do not qualify as one of those sexy men, and women have been rejecting your sexual advances left and right? Donald Trump is an irrelevant idiot that a lot of Americans do not respect. No idea why you think his opinion on anything, including feminists, matter to anyone. Funny how feminists "disrespecting God" always comes up in critique of the movement. The foolish shameless men that are cheating on their wives, beating them and treating them like shit are respecting God, abi? Lol. Nigerian men are prime examples of hypocrisy. They condemn what does not benefit them, when the log the size of an oak tree is inside their own eye. Maybe you had a stroke in the middle of your longwinded rant, but Chimamanda is a happily married feminist advocate that is doing pretty well for herself and is happily married to a handsome doctor that supports her and encourages her. They even have a child now. Unlike the rest of the useless Nigerian men, this is a man that understands equality and likely treats her like an equal partner with mutual love and respect. They most likely split the bills and the household work. That's a man worthy to be called a man. How does your own spouse see you? Likely as a walking ATM and compulsory provider, under the guise of "submission". That's why so many Nigerian men are bitter, because they know that they're only useful for money. Women treat them as disposable when they don't have any money because these women that you claim to be "virtuous" yet have probably never worked a day in their lives, would run far away once the money is finished. Your worth and value to her is only as long as you have that dough. And I bet with the recession and the increasing number of unemployment among Nigerian men, men are starting to feel the full brunt of disrespect from the same women that they like to praise, as they realize that she only tolerates them because of his money. If a movement that is aimed at uplifting women and helping them not to be treated as 2nd class citizens, is "destroying men", then it means that the male privilege is so ingrained that finally being treated as women have been treated for centuries translates to oppression for them. They're finally being forced to get a taste of their own medicine, and when they realized they don't like it, they come online to rant like jobless fools with no brain. Most feminist women I know are doing great. Some are married, some aren't. The ones that are, are married to men that treat them like equals and the ones that aren't, are happy to not be burdened with man-children that only know how to take and have pathological obsessions with control. So many involuntarily sexless men running around, bitter about the fact that women no longer want them, while the money that they would have used to lord over and control a woman in the past, is no longer relevant, and their sexual frustration is causing them to blow up schools and shoot innocent people. A healthy, fit woman that has standards, has a good job with stable income, has boundaries and lays them out, and refuses to be disrespected by a man, has a lot of options to choose from. Men know this and are angry about how pathetically thirsty they are. She knows she'll be fine and as long as she's under 30, can find a man to marry easily. Sorry that upsets you, but it's the truth. Your obvious frustration about it, is frankly your own issue to deal with. 3 Likes |
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dumahi: Compared to the number of fat, balding, pot-bellied men that probably haven't seen their dicks since Obasanjo was president, I think feminists are doing pretty well for themselves. Men are so obviously threatened by an empowered woman, because most of them inherently know that they bring absolutely nothing to the table and are basically useless when women start working and making significant money. They can no longer hold their money as leverage and use that to treat her however they like and lord it over her. That's why so many of the men here are screeching like hyenas at the thought of losing their power over women. Men know that they need and are desperate for women a lot more than women need and are desperate for them, so a woman that doesn't need them scares them a lot. It's why men commit suicides 4x the rate of women, from loneliness and desperation. Regardless of what you think, it is classy to be independent and not regard men as important. The confidence to go out there and achieve comes from an attitude of believing that you deserve it and that men aren't any better than women. Manhood is not the pride of anything. History has shown that most of you bring destruction and stupidity to the women in your lives. Evidence in the fact that countries with female equality have a lot less domestic violence and rape incidents than countries without. Men have become so useless now, they depend on the subservience of women to "feel like a man". That's why so many are tearing their hair out at the thought of more women joining the feminist movement. Keep on trying to convince yourself that you're relevant o. Certainly worth it when reality eventually slaps you in the face. 2 Likes |
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