@naijangel7

Thanks for the kind comments.
Ich komme ursprünglich aus Dortmund und bin wegen meines Mannes nach München gezogen.
Beides nicht unbedingt in deiner Nähe, oder?

Well, first of all i wanna put something right.
I am not complaining.
When i got to know my husband, i didn't care neither about his skin colour nor about his heritage. That also includes that i didn't think of any consequences that might come up to us. I just loved.

Now i sometimes find myself in situations that seem to be unpleasant. That's all.
Don't we all try to work on things that affect us?
I just try to understand what the problem is. On the one side and also on the other side.
I'm not the kind of person that just takes things as they are. I try to understand, try to find arguments and am willing to discuss things.

No matter what happens, we would never seperate just because we "don't fit" concerning our different cultures.
We talk and talk and talk and we both try to understand the differences.
Of course we sometimes say the same things but mean something different.
But can things like that really affect a relationship that much that it comes to an end?

I'm sure it's also a big point how much people are into their culture.
I'm glad we found good compromises.

When it comes to judging, which european country is the less racist one, i can hardly give a statement.
As for me i see way too much racism over here in germany.
But i also see those people whom naijangel7 mentioned - the ones who really try hard to be politically correct and friendly.
Still too less people here are really involved in multiculti and so they sometimes really don't know how to act.
As for my grandpa, my husband was the first black person he ever talked to. Just because he didn't get the chance before.
In uk i think the racism is even growing because the discrimated people got together and now start to discriminate on their own. Some time ago i got to read an article about white children as a minority in a particular school and the racism they had to go through.
So it's going to be a punching ball that always comes back to you when you hit it.
Uk might be a better place just because of a bigger lobby.

tpiah!:

@ didara today you`re not dating a nigerian. What about tomorrow. Just asking.

What kind of question is this?
Hopefully i don't have to date anybody else again except my husband.

I don't complain about the situation, or better, i don't call my life into question just because of those facts i metioned earlier.
I just wish it was different.
I was just curious which the prejudices are, concerning a white woman on an african man' side.
Yet nobody has been daring enough to mention it. But maybe i'm off the track and there are none.

I'm strong enough to cope, either black and white racism or discrimination from whom ever.
I consciously went for this relationship.
But i really hope in future things will change.

I didn't mean to bore you with my thread and i'm glad that i got some very interesting and nice answers to my question.

When i met my husband, he was a real casanova. I didn't even think that we could get married one day.
He went out for clubbing every weekend and even during the week he used to see his guys almost every evening to at least have a beer or two.
But i didn't care cos as i said, marriage wasn't the first thing that came to my mind when we got to know each other.

After a short time of long distance relationship i finally moved to his place and from that day on he stopped going out.
From time to time we went for clubbing together, sometimes with his friends.
But after we got married, we don't go out much. Sometimes we go to the cinema, to the restaurant and from time to time we also go for a cocktail.
He lost many friends because of that.
But the main fact there is, that most of them were and still are single and searching. So it doesn't fit anymore.

tpiah!:

What does native mean.

I mean a person who's offspring is in this country. Someone who was born there, who's parents were born there etc.
Sorry if i chose the wrong word for it. I got less chances to practise my english.

When i talk about the short duration of interracial relationships, i mean those, where from at least on one side it's clear that it wouldn't last forever. Where at least one part of the couple doesn't expect an everlasting relationship.
What makes some people think that people with different heritage don't fit together.
Or clearly: What makes people think that Europeans and Africans don't fit together.
Of course, i know that a relationship bases on 2 characters and their will.
But what about those who exclude success for a mixed marriage?

Mrs.Chima:

By the way, are you married to a short funny looking Nigerian by any chance?  There is a picture floating around on the site about a German woman and Nigerian man.  You admitted that you are German.  Just curious.  

Nope, lol, I'm not married to a Nigerian. To feed ur curiosity u can have a look at my profile pic. There u can see us

Wow, i'm really surprised how many replied to my topic!

Unfortunately i had no chance yet to read all of the replies, just the first site.
Don't think I disappeared! lol
I'll still go on with reading in the afternoon.

So many kind words and uplifting comments that i never expected.
Thanks so much for it.
It shows me that i might be biased myself - always expecting being rejected.

But when i read here what others have/had to go through, I can still say: I'm lucky.

It's not even the rude kind of racism that i refer to. I know it exists and we have to experience it from time to time, but we both don't care about those people.
Not too long ago we were thinking of moving to my husband's country and i could pretty well imagine living there.
But that changed. I would worry about getting into society, moreover REALLY becoming a part of his family.
He told me as a white person life would be much easier for me over there than it is for him here in Germany.
There's less racism.
I could carry around a dead body in my car boot and my chances would be pretty good not to be punished for it - just because i'm white. A native would be killed right away.
I could go and apply for a job as a teacher and with a little effort I would get the job, my insufficient education  notwithstanding.
A native would never get the chance.
If there was a road to be build and 2 different companies try to get that job - one a native company, one a company of a white man - there would be no chance for the native man to succeed.
I myself could stroll around the streets in his hometown and everybody would like to have a chat with me. I could have lots of nice conversations.
When my husband walks around here, some people even change their side of street.

Of course, life is easier when you are treaten respectfully and when you don't have to experience discrimination all the time.
But what do i get over there in his country? People won't treat me like this because they love me so much. It's about humility. They are afraid of consequences if they treat me differently.
I'm sure that this leads to a lot of anger and rage for those who suffer from this inequality. At the same time young students don't get the chance to attend their favourite university, just because they weren't born into the "right", influental family.
But that's again a government problem that enables things like that.

Maybe we should go and live somewhere else, where we both are strangers and where the black and white thing is balanced. Does such a country exist?

Hi Nairalanders!

I've been a member of this forum for quite a long time but rather read silently than take part in the discussions here.
I must confess that it's mainly curiosity that makes me spend time on this site since i don't really have anything to share with you. I'm neither Nigerian myself, nor do i actually have any kind of relationship to a Nigerian.
But my love for Africa started in Nigeria and that's maybe a reason why i still feel connected to the music, movies and people. So i silently try to remain up to date.

After hesitating for a while i finally decided to ask for your opinion on my topic.
An article on facebook made me think about the whole issue again today and so i thought i might get back to you.

During the last years i've made the experience that interrracial relationships don't use to last for a long time.
I still ask myself what the reason therefore is.
Something that really worries me and makes me sad is the fact, that there are too many prejudices on both sides.
But i can see that especially on the african side they really grow big.
I hear lots of Africans say that a white man/woman would never be a possibility when it comes to having a real family.
What do you think are the main facts why black and white people don't fit together in a relationship?
I'd love to hear the honest, maybe hard reality.

I'm 24 and live in an interracial marriage for almost 3 years now.
We get along well, since we see us as human beings, but I also had to experience racism from my husband's family's side. They would definately prefer a black woman on my husband's side. Not all of them, but there are definately some of them that can hardly agree with his decision to have chosen a white girl.

I hope that i don't offend anybody here and moreover i hope that i don't repeat an often posed question.
If so, I'd be happy with a link to a similar discussion on here.

Thanks to you all in advance, have a blessed day!

@dblock

Hitler wasn't really german, he was born and raised in austria. Just wanted to correct ur post in what u were talking about germany as his beloved motherland.

Further, i don't really feel like posting more on this topic cos it's awkward, mostly for my generation. Even though we didn't experience that aera, we still pay for what happened. Hitler was a very sick (in head) human being and his attitude and acting has still a very bad consequence for today's germany. All in all it's making me very sad thinking about this past and sometimes i even feel ashamed to have such a country, full of strain, as my offspring. Moreover my mom is polish what's a big contrast for my origin. Poland and Germany were big rivals during the WW2. So i see this thing from 2 different sides.

I guess there would never be an explanation for what hitler did and what he was thinking. I think if there were no people willing to hear and support what he said, it had never come so far and so not only hitler should be judged but all his supprters. He promised a lot to the germans. Things like a better infrastructure, well-paid jobs and no unemployment. And that during a period where all germany was still suffering from the WW1. So it was easy to convince and influence cos most people were willing to do anything for a better future. He sounded like the only and last hope, but that was before his election. Things changed afterwards, when he had convinced enough people and got the head of state. Some still stayed blind, waiting for him to let his promises come true and so supported his crazy attitude.

We should let him rest in peace and thank God that this time is over and people are about to learn that a different behaviour includes many more advantages, such as one love, peace and equal chances for everybody.

As for me i look at this past, taking it as my daddy's family's past, but it doesn't concern me. It makes me sad, but we all have to live our own lives, not letting the past take to much part of it. It only makes sad and things cannot be changed anymore, only made better in the future.


May God bless u all

@ OPOKONWA

Ya, maybe you're right and i worry too much. That's why i said i'll will see what future brings. What could happen? At least i can say i didn't miss anything then. Am optimistic but still wanted to know your opinion about the height thingy.

Why did God give me these long legs? Nah, am happy for what i am
Life is destiny, whatever might happen, it's good

Have a nice evening

Do you think the guy's self-confidence would suffer from the fact that his girl is taller?
I'm not really sure, cos as i said, i never experienced such a situation before.
He's a very nice guy and apart from his height he seems to be perfect and he also doesn't really care about the height thingy. I'm just worried, that if the time of being in love, with butterflies in the belly and heart rush are over and it becomes more serious, it might be a problem.
As for me it's really a bit funny to look down on him cos it's a strange situation, very new of course.
Does it look funny to u, when u see couples on the streets where the woman is taller or don't u even realise it? I think it's quite conspicuous.

At least i'm happy that i'm slim cos if i was even taller AND more heavy than him, i would really feel bad. . . . Maybe i should just wait what the time brings and i guess i would really feel miserable if i don't give it a try at least.

Ya, that's my worry as well--- this BEING THE MAN thing
And i definately WANT a real MAN!

Never knew it could be that difficult

Hmmmm. That's honestly not what i wanted to hear!

i must confess i also never thought i could cope with a smaller guy---- up to now

It was a blind date, nah, i got to know him online and we finally met this weekend. He's daaaaaaaaaamn cute but i was kinda shocked when i saw him coming around the corner and had to realise that he was at least 5cm smaller than me (at least!).
Now i'm wondering if that should/could be a problem.
Am experiencing this the first time for all my life right now. Though i'm quite tall (1,77m) it never happenend that i dated someone smaller than myself.
Everyday a new experience.
Thanks for ur opinion

hmmmm. and you're sure u loved her?

What do u think about this topic? Could you, as a man, cope with the fact that your girl is taller than yourself? and on the other hand, could u girls ever fall in love with a guy that has less height than you? Am just curious, also about the consequences for the relationship. Does there exist any consequences or doesn't it matter? Just wanna know your opinion

thanks

In german it's ein Kind ist mehr wert, als Geld

Oh, by the way: I forgot to mention their talents
Oh my, also a very important fact that i love about Naija!
They got the BEST music artists! Can't get enough of Naija music! Hope they keep going on like that!

Oh, thx davidif, i take this as a compliment! May God bless u too!

About which child r u talking in ur last lines? Am just curious cos am just working on a talk about this topic for school. I didn't really get which child u lately described, the american one or the nigerian one?

Thanks once again, Richy!

Thanks Richy, some nice words that made my day

How true, how true! am amazed about the last post. You actually mentioned what i love so much about Nigeria and Nigerians and what makes me more attracted to their culture than to my own. I guess we live life to enjoy it, to be happy as much as possible. For what other reason? here, and almost in all countries outside of Afrika, life seems to be a competition, everybody is worried to lose it. Hectic, no time or will for friendship, no time for the good sides of life. It's sad and in my eyes that's something the whole world could learn from Africa.
I'm not Nigerian, but if i was, i would definately have 5 good reasons to be proud of it.

friendliness and happiness, no matter the situation ( at least that's what i experienced ), lovely traditions and especially ALIVE traditions, faith, big love for the family and of course beauty! African and especially Naija girls r the most beautiful girls on the globe, surely the guys as well.

Moreover i think u don't really need exact reasons for being proud of your origin. You should just be. Cos wherever u were born or wherever u raised up, every country gives u the offer to make the best of ur life.

Happy sunday

Can someone tell me about the meaning of Ayorinde?

Ya, i guess he really should go, how awkward, what did he do to those great players? Am disappointed about that match and about Vogts' achievement as a coach

Born and raised in germany, with polish roots on mom's side

Daaaaaamn, What a bad match,

What does "miss you so much" mean, in yoruba?

Am also interested, would be glad to get some information

labellefemme1986@yahoo.de

How sad,