Hello all,

I am currently negotiating a next level (above entry level) position with UBA. What is the pay structure for this position like?

What is the tax rate like? What will this amount to at the end of the month?

Generally, how would you rate the new UBA in terms of quality of staff welfare and condition of work? Is it a great place to work? Are its staff respected in the industry?

Kindly let me know!

Thanks

I have also gone to their head office at Idejo Street, Victoria Island, and they did not receive my CV.

Poster, kindly provide us with more information to act on.

Thanks

@Chydoo

I've never heard of a People's Prime before. Or did you mean 'people temp'?

What!!! You guys.

Are you saying I'm the only one on nairaland that has ever got a girl pregnant and didn't end up marrying her?

Where are all you guys?

Hello all,

I have a 1997 honda accord (baby boy). V6 engine. Works fine except that it jerks badly when its cold. But normalises as soon as I drive a distance and the engine warms up.

I've changed the plugs severally. This doesnt improve at all when a new set of plugs are installed.

Could it be a fuel filter issue? Where's the filter located. We can't find this.

@uspry1

The truth is that the deed has been done. I did not use contraceptives and now I have a fine baby boy to show for this.

I don't intend to be a deadbeat. Infact I've promised to be as active a father as I'll b permitted. But I must say that its tough. Cash isn't coming as it used to. Baby-mother is as grumpy and being the drama queen she is known for! Its increasingly becoming difficult to be sane.

I've been doing my best, believe me. The hospital trips and bills. Baby things (not much but I'll continue to try to foot all!). Car for baby mother (we split this in halves). Monthly feeding and diaper allowance. Its taking its toll on me as its difficult to save. But I continue to strive and of course, more overtime at work!

But as expected, baby mother does not appreciate this. Her complaints are getting very unreasonable. Infact, she has asked that I dont come to see my son anymore. Her reasons that she wants to be stable and move on with her life. This is fair enough, I assume. But something is telling me that she is doing this to make me die of guilt. Guilt of thinking that I've brought a child into this world and not taking care of it.

So Busta, thats what I mean by hell!

Dear all,

Maybe I should change my subject to read "Have you had a baby and didn't marry its mother? Share your experience!"

Tell me what u went through (or are still going through!). Sure it'll be priceless. Maybe i'll pick up a few tips.

For me, its been hell!

I am in these shoes too.

Got a girl pregnant when I have my girlfriend with me. But I remain committed to take care of the child to my best. Even with the glaring issues. Baby-mother is really giving me a hard time. But this does not deter me. We have occassional fights that have now turned to regular fire-spitting. I try to remain calm though.

Now she says she needs her space and I need not come see my son anymore! Didn't think she'd really live up her threat. I stayed away for about 4 days and went over to see my son. But alas, I was not let in through the door!!! I couldnt believe it!

Anyway, I'm trying to live with my new situation and move on with my life.

I'm very devasted!

@ricflare

I am particularly interested in the code to see sn unknown caller (*#30#). How does one use the code? I tried it with no luck.

Do you know the procedure to achieve this?

I think laudate has given you the best answer to your question.

He may like you. A lot. And may actually wish he could have a more meaningful relationship with you. But may have reasons for not leaving his other chick.

It could be very difficult for him.

I know this cus I've been in this sh*t before.

@chiboys

Thats not to say that what you're doing or what you have done is correct!

@chiboyz
Your step seems to solve the problem. But remember that nothing is hidden under the sun.

@omoge
I have never for one day said that I am not to blame for my situation. But I have also mentioned that there is really no one that is innocent. I have given my opinion to who has asked for it. As evident on this thread, we all know that women can become very desperate and indulge in various tactics to achieve married status.

@Siena

Well, sorry that I ask these questions. Just needed them to be able to make a more informed decision as my path in life has taken a detour from what I planned.

See my thread and add your comments. https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-76905.0.html

P.S. My personal life is on a public forum.

@chiboyz

I'm in the same shit as you (see my thread https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-76905.0.html). Even worse. And I understand how tiresome this can be. For me, she's in her final trimester and the pressure is really mounting now as she wants me to marry her by all means necessary. Told her I couldnt but she wont accept. Don't be fooled by her 'seemingly' understanding stand. Once she tells her boyfriend and you own up to it, she's gonna be on your ass like shit cus i bet you, her guy wont keep her. Her best bet will be to say her guy owns the pregnancy. Of course, this step has its own shortfalls, as mentioned on the thread already.

All around me, people make it seem like abortion is so BAD. I agree with them but under certain conditions, it may be the easiest way out! And we sincerely ask for forgiveness afterwards. When my expectant baby-momma insisted on a no-abortion spree, I pledged my support for the baby at all costs. She was on another agenda to make sure I marry her. I thought she understood my situation and just wanted what I could give. Now she's angry and almost cursing. But I wont be deterred in providing a good upbringing for my child.

I'm telling you these so you can be prepared. Make up your mind what you want to do and stick to it. If I will advise you at all, I'll say you should make her know that you will not marry her hook or crook. Say it point blank without any remorse. Let her see that. Tell her you would take care of your baby as much as you can, even under your situation. You will find a way. And dont run away from it. If it wont be aborted, you gotta take responsibility for it. This includes telling you bestfriend that the baby is yours.

I learnt all on my own and it wasnt fun AT ALL!!!

@Sienna

How did the child come about?

I ask these questions of Siena.

You married at 17!?! Was it because your girlfriend at that time was pregnant for you? If yes, that must have really been difficult for you! Could it be that being under that sort of pressure would make you not look at any other woman? Just asking, please dont be annoyed. And to later end up in divorce is what bothers me. What happened? Not to pry, honestly. But I'm in a situation similar to what I think happened to you and I hope I'm not making the wrong decisions.

Married or single. Its the same.

For me, its going to be very difficult. Infact it was so difficult to resist because she is very beautiful. Now she is carrying my baby and I'm a mess. Now she is insisting that I marry her.

My advise - Avoid women if you can. They come with a whole lot of problems. Stay with the one you love and who loves you back. Believe me, this is priceless!

@Siena
Never say Never. I was a propagator (and still is!) of a one man-woman relationship but I never really understood the power of women. Or is it the submission of a man's loins to that of a woman's?

@salsera & netkamoze
I must have been temporarily insane to consider that option! Its obvious! I'll revert immediately!

I'll tell you guys this though- I'm tired.

@cutekittie

I've already said in my earlier post that I have gone to see him and he insists that I marry her.

@teslim & all
I understand you and take precautions. I'll take your comments very seriously. I dont want all to crumble thats why I try to be friends with babymomma. If she insists that I marry her, what should I do? If her family insists, what should I say? If my parents beckon, should I continue to refuse?
Hence my resolve to arrange a traditional marriage to calm nerves. But thats as far as I go! My parents could turn nasty if I dont heed this and not respond when I wanna tie the knot with my GF. I dont want to hurt my GF but if she takes too much meaning to this gesture, its a problem!

I've been nice to baby-momma , helping with plans per baby and all others. She knows if I got more, I'll give!

@havanah
Thanks for your advice. Understand the implications of my actions and the responsibilities that lie upon me. And I'll do the best that I can. I promise. But I can't do as you have suggested. I can't leave my GF. My heart is too weak to do that!

Thanks all.

I've heard all your comments and I have just got to a conclusion.

According to our arrangements, i was supposed to be there for her always. As a friend that cared for her. To be a good daddy. For the child. If she'll let me, I will. If we can't come to an agreement on that and she insists I must marry her, then that will be arranged. And I move on with my life!

I bother about the issues no more!

@theopops
Thanks for your support. And I know what you mean. I know that I hold the most blame and I accept. i'm not denying it. But faced with this, I wont sink deeper into it. vexes my soul to leave my girlfriend. And I pray that I dont hurt baby-momma if I marry her.

@ezinwannem
I laugh at your comment 'Good luck sha but you're lucky it is not me '. If a guy really decides to leave the pergnancy and not accept it, what would you do? Hired assassins maybe? Or visit a herbalist?

I promised to stay by her side irrespective of whatever happens. And I'm doing just that. Crucify me if you want to, but my heart is clear!

@Siena
I dont know. Just used that there.

@theopops
You're right. And i took that stand too. But I get very considerate and lay back and stay quiet for the child's sake. He must never suffer. To achieve this, we have to foster a good relationship together. Even though I feel like getting on the next plane outta here!!!

@jayvin01
Are you here with me? Bros, thats what I do on a daily basis! Thinking. Wishing. Praying.

I know I'm in trouble. Can't wait for the day that I'll be able to look back at these days and smile. And maybe be able to rap to a beat too! But for now, back to the drawing board, devising new ways to be rich! 9-5 doesn't cut it anymore!!!

@omoge
Believe me, I was goody-two-shoes before this happened. While I appreciate your responses, however factual or otherwise, I wont leave my GF. And she wont leave me too. And I certainly hope all those that have shot at me now have not, at any time in their lives, made some irreversible mistakes. I have made mine and intend to make the most out of it.

I was reading through the romance section and I found this topic https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-8322.0.html. Of particular note to me was lashawna's post saying that she left her guy to go into a worse situation. And that is one of concerns for my GF. The only reason that will make me leave her and marry the baby-momma, is if anyone can guarantee that she'll find someone that can even love and treat her haif as much as I have (before my error and even afterwards!!!)

@Ezinwannem
Its easy for you to say. Open and shut case, right?

@adeboo
Thanks for being hopeful but like I said, I have seen and spoken with her dad and he has categorically emphasized that I must marry her. And make arrangements for this soon.

@salsera
Thanks for your advise. I have come to accept my fate.

@laudate
I have had to define why I am going for my GF amidst all that I'm going through. Dumping her would be the option of least resistance to an onlooker. I deeply love her so that path will be the one of most resistance to me. And its not guilt! And I dont want to ruin all our lives. I was human and I erred. She has forgiven me and hopefully, will forget soon enough and she'll be able to accept my child.

I intend to be a major part of this child's life. Dont want this mayhem to be a reason why something will happen to him. I wanna make sure he'll turn out right. To be someone in future. Reason for my words 'accomodate'. All with God's help. Besides, the baby-mama and I had a friendship before tis turned into this.

@eniyanman
Does this sound like make- believe? Its not o! hasn't this happened to someone you know before? I didn't know it could happent to me but it did. And I've been suffering ever since!!
I aint joking o!

@all
I have met her dad and the conclusion is that I should marry her at all costs. He has given me one week to reconsider and get back to him. Told me that I am not serious for considering that I wont marry her. Told him about my present girlfriend and he literally said that was not his concern. The best way is to dump her. And quick too!

But his daughter has told hima another story about our relationship. She didn't tell him about the several occassions she lured me into her bed after I had called it off. How she kept on seducing me and pressuring me to make love to her after I tell her that we should end this.

They are in for a shocker! If I can defy my parents, what makes them think I would listen to them?!