I have learnt that you can do a 9-5 job from the comfort of your home and achieve more productivity.

Lawmak:
This is not pipeline explosion. This is bomb. I witnessed it. It shook our building and other surrounding it. It wrecked a lot of havoc in the area.
THERE IS MORE TO THIS THAT WE CAN THINK.

Very correct!

LewsTherin:
Sad I didn't see this thread early enough. Bukatyne you didn't tag me as you usualy do. Even if I don't comment on some of your threads, I read and follow them. So stand up, hands up and close your eyes fir the next 10 minutes

It's nice to see that there are a good number of couples who split duties happily. Different from the doom and gloom storries that pervade Nairaland.

Yes, planning, cooperation and shared responsibilities. That's how it's done. And I'll include a few more points that my Lady and I have learnt over the last 8 years.

Get technological help where you can. Washine machine, micro wave, inverter, dish washer, stuff like that. Now I know finance is a big thing in Nigeria and not everyone can afford these things. What we did was to browse various stores for when they had promos running on these items. Also use the "pay small small" option to pay in instalments. Buying second hand from others also helps.

Get outsourced help. We have a lady come in to clean the house once a week. She does the thorough cleaning so we don't have to do much during the week to keep the house neat. Can also get someone to do the ironing after the washing mashine does the washing.

Bulk cooking. My Lady cooks enough stews, soups and poriages to last quite a while. Freeze it in small servings and microwave for meals. It means preparing a meal only takes as long as the rice or yam needs to boil or plantains or potatoes need to fry.

Smart cooking. Those hard days of broke-ness taught me that 200 bucks worth of carrots, green beans and peppers can produce fried rice eniugh for my family and a guest. Boiled eggs add the protein. Stir frying can help make exquisite meals in a very short time. Now we try to keep fried pieces of fish or chicken in the freezer at all times to accomodate this. The aboki in the estate is already used to me getting veggies or tomatoes in 100 to 200 naira quantities.

Daycare/ creche can save lives you know. My girl started at 4 months. No time. But one has to investigate these places well and form a habit of dropping in unannounced and unexpected.

Get some breathing space, some Daddy Mummy time alone to remember those days of being single by "dumping" the kids off every now and then with some family or friends. It helps to recharge.

I made sure my Lady and I discussed all these things well before we got married. She had things a little different in mind than I did and I was more spartan than she could be. We compromised as well as we can. You won't get everything you want but you'll get a lot more than you believed possible.

True we run our own business, but sometimes, running your own business can put more pressure on your time than being employed by someone else. I run 2 other businesses in addition and if all goes well, I'll have the farm up and running halfway through this year so that is even more pressure on my time but I always say - my wife first, my kids next then what I need to finance my wife and kids. Any one and anything comes in order of urgency. That's my list of priorities.

You are one understanding husband! Your lady is lucky! I do all the housework alone, raise the kids alone, go to work over the weekends, go for lectures during the weekdays, attend the kids appointment, take to church, take them for their friends birthday parties, do everything alone! I am always driving around the whole city like one crazy girl. It's so annoying . The husband is always forming busy. Being married to a Nigerian man requires special training o...Good thing is, God has blessed me with wonderful kids. They are my helpers, always asking if I need help and my oldest is just 12years. Sometimes, I wonder how I have survived 13 years of living abroad without help....Marriage sef! Overrated bullshit!

Originalsly:
Bro.... your sister beat up your wife bloody.... and you're talking about what prophet said... what someone else said...who is senior to who....now asking what we have to say? This your sister behaviour towards you is nothing new.... from small she knew you are a weakling.... and being married doesn't make a difference. In her eyes... you are her little sister... and your wife.... her step sister. She has no respect for you...nor your wife... and guess whose fault is it? There is nothing you can personally tell her or confront her direcrlly.... you don't have the guts.. the balls to do so. Your other family members will be of no help as well ...there is some underlying issue ...something the family doesn't like about your wife. For the matter on ground....like the first person said.... you need to report her to the Police .... that's the only way you'll get the certificates back.ZLET her be locked up for a week or so...it will benefit her a whole lot...only then will she realise there are consequences. Take a deep breath in..... gather some balls....pull on the pants trousers and go tell your sis...certificates by Sunday or next week will begin as en eve opener for her.

Well said!�

Funlordjnr:
See marriage?


Look o.p marriage is a medium for YOU and your PARTNER to build a new union for YOU and YOUR KIDS to both to cater to!


Your priorities should be doing the best for your KIDS and not walking on egg shells around your extended families or caring who texted who or who did not greet whose mother or father!


Both your families have fault lines so for now allow your husband focus on his family and you face your own! Bone all these unnecessary issues and focus on YOU, YOUR HUSBAND and YOUR KIDS!



It seems both sets of your families are filled with members who don't have anything going for them in their lives hence why they need to use you guys as a distraction or as a pleace to display their wickedness or frustrations!


With time everyone may outgrow all this crap, but if not I don't see how what your family eats should be making your inlaws go to the toilet!


FACE FRONT and focus on your nuclear family for now! Being besties with your inlaws is not by force and sometimes your marriage is more peaceful when you keep them at arms length!

@OP....please follow this advice for your peace of mind and sanity.

othenok:
Chai! Nostalgia!! A proud Lioness here. Can't forget Aki onu, the Okro soup at Archaeology Dept, Mai Shai in front of SUB. Wonder what happened to that "Akwa m iko" preacher

Akiionnuuu....Man know thyself.
Archy Kitchen, behind Isa Kaita, my joint farback.
Nwa Nsukka.....Rooommmmuuu gini?
Chai! Good old days, when the mamas were very hot chics ....Any Ansa-Goldite in the house?
The Piompiompiom was on another level....from Mayfine to Njideka to Onyekaozulu to Moore house....Odiegwu.

chineloSA:


Maybe you should read her blog.

She finally indicated the desire to get married an have kids.

You people should not encourage her to continue with this "Wanna be Oprah" rubbish. So needs a man and a family.

Otherwise at her age she will end up with a divorcee, babydaddy's etc an all useless men which will make her life miserable. Well at her age the probability of ending with the above mentioned is very high. Or she may end up crying on TV interviews like "Tyra Banks"

She needs a man a kids. Money can never listen to her, cuddle, laugh with her, tak holidays with her, comfort her and have s.x with her.

So please people, stop encouraging rubbish. She is not Oprah. Even Oprah regrets it, though she won't tell us, but she does.

HBD Linda.
Marriage while very key, is not to be rushed into. Carefully, choosing your God-given man is very important.
There are so many unhappy marriages, so much unfaithfulness in marriages, so much heartaches, so much regrets, so much divorces.
Why rush in, only to rush out? I detest the idea of mocking a girl because she is not married!
Linda you are a successful young woman. Insomuch, as time is of essence, be careful who you choose to spend the rest of your life with. Your spouse can either make you or break you. Be wise!
HBD once again.

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Babymama1:


Listen to yourself
You have a family that loves you,your husband alienates your mom from you and kids and you accepted it because you want to be a good wife.people can't even say tell your mil,mil doesn't want anything to do with you.if you had been paralyzed from waist down after the push last time from hubby,she wouldn't have cared less neither will she care now.
Here you are popping pills like a lunatic after a husband who is organizing runz girls for politicians and catching his own fun,basically a man patronizing prostitutes on a regular basis,confessing to even doing it unprotected and advising that you both go get tested
Is that the sort of life you want to live as a 27 year old
Testing yourself every few months for diseases like an ashawo
For how long?

If you were my sister my advice would be

1. Go get yourself tested for hepatitis B ,HIV and syphylis for starters,hopefully you haven't been infected
2. Tell your parents immediately.
They love you unconditionally.your husband doesn't
They care about your life and welfare,your husband doesn't
Your parents won't knowingly want to harm you,your husband will
Your parents have endured so much insult from your husband already,haven't they
Is this the price you are willing to pay for the sake of marriage ?
If your answer is yes then you are a fool,sorry

As for the kids,no courts will give custody of babies to a man unless ...
Let me take that back
Wth a history of attempted suicide you will be seen as unfit to be a mother and he will win
The evidence is there
No courts will grant custody of young children to a crazy

Do I think he will change?
No I don't
You either accept it or move on

The other option of how u can keep the kids ,if you chose to leave,
if you can still go back overseas,lay low,trick him into sending you for a vacation with the kids and don't go back,this will be tough but people have done it and succeeded
I know two women that did that and they are doing fine now but you can't let a soul in on that plan.
I doubt if you have the balls to do that
You are too clingy

Well Said BabyMama....where do I send your kisses to?

author=naijababe post=32216290]Our VP dey shoot bullet for twitter and a professor of law at that! [/quote]

My dear, you see wetin I see so? Never heard the phrase "seeked for" before now.Bastardization of the English language...Professor my ass...Shiooorr

babyosisi:


Tell your husband to pull out his ojolima and get out there find a better job and move you out of a one room so the baby can have their own room or else you will be doing it soon with 5 kids watching.

Madam...you can really be very annoying! Gosh! Okacha malu!

50calibre:


You were making sense till you deviated into insanity.

The bolded is nothing but epic thrash.

A six month old baby is like a blank template, near zero cognitive ability, can't process anything it sees, can't make sense of anything perhaps only mummy's breas*t.

Why do you guys confidently dish out nonsensical advise?

You are so so right! SMH for some oversabis in d house.

Hey....Did I almost miss all these
Odenigbo jisike...Dalu rinne for these wonderful pics...but I can't seem to see any masquerade from Akala-etiti Ka o,anyi enwero mmanwu

ChinoElectz:


Like someone already said Anambra cities of Awka and Onitsha are far more advanced and organized compare to your mud houses and rusted zincs infested yorobarland. The least community in Anambra is far more developed and advanced than the mud houses infested yorobar state capitals of ibadan, ekti, oshogbo. Anambra cities are alot neater, organized than all those ghettos you guys call city town.

This is Onitsha the pride of the East. No Yorobar state comes close.

U failed to capture Ile-ife.... Another rust-zinc infested town... Tufiakwa ndi Yoroooba.

Hotstepper: It's just so sad especially among Igbos. Someone came to my house and was shocked my son of 1 year plus could understand Igbos nd speaks like Mba etc. He told.me dat us bad cuz eventually he will have igbo accent wen speaking english..imagine. Others say why my son couldn't speak English den was cuz he was confused which to speak lol yet he would tell u, come and bia at da same time. Am even trying to put him in French school. Language is important and it's so sad that u will see couple from da same place yet their
kids can't speak

Ignore them... I believe in training kids to be multi-lingual.
My kids speak English and german fluently, Igbo at a basic level and by d 4th class( at 10yrs) they get to pick French or Spanish. Some schools here already included the Chinese language in their curriculum... So what??

write2obi: I Miss my Alma Mater, How's the Den? Hope AkiOnu is still around? Member!!
GS 203 Humanity on my mind
I Miss My Hot Morning Okpa
I Miss Franco Noise Making
I Miss.. I Miss *burst in to tears*

[color=#990000][/color]
LMAO....I was just gonna ask after AKIONU....
GS 203-humanity *man know thyself*

dimples*:
And d sellers chant :

Dry cleaner!!

Binder!!

Repair ya buckets,ya gallons

Nwa nsukka!

Ndi ogo!

[color=#990000][/color]

Nwa Nsukkkkaaaaa....
Roommmuuuu gini
Roommmuuuu 121.....lol....D good old dayz.

[color=#990000][/color]

sidvinci: any circle 07. is ya boi Sydney. economics department. where are my policy makers

Greatest Ansah-Goldites...
Greatest Gboosa.....

babyosisi:

All you stingy men
How dare you call your wife a thief
U need to ask for forgiveness immediately


My husband was hiding his wallet and sometimes putting it under his pillow just because I was taking little chicken change from it for lunch
Nonsense !!
How can a woman steal from her own husband
Are we not joined in holy matrimony again?
In Igboland wives are lovingly called odoziaku which translates to mean " the one who arranges the wealth"
Your own is to bring in the money,allow me to arrange it na ,as expected
I pitied him sha one day long ago when we had no credit cards ,he came home ranting about how he was so embarrassed at the store When it was time to pay and he Opened his wallet and the cash was depleted
I said ewoooo, di m oma
I am so sorry
But did it stop me ?
Whosai
If a man has 5 $20 bills in the wallet I bought him for Christmas why can't a woman who bore him bouncing baby boys take one or two $20 as the spirit leads
I don't do it as much anymore
I now ask him first and if he says no i have no cash on me and I go to the wallet and see cash,he can't come back and claim that he had cash
Abi?
Love u boo

I feel u dear...u said it all.I call it sharing.Hubby is welcomed to share from my own wallet too.

rozayx5:

stop saying what you dont know, armed guards arrived after 25 minutes, was not blind when i saw that on CNN
Our President cancelled some appointments abroad cause of the SOE and the Nasarrawa crisis, so shut down and stay in the diaspora we dont need u guys back home, you might just end up collateral damage, the last time i checked Africa's richest man was not in the diaspora, Nigeria is for made men, if you cant survive here, stay wherever you are and stop spewing thras h
about a Country you left behind to do menial jobs in the name of diaspora

Chai see vex...not everyone in the diaspora does menial jobs Sha...I for one have never...No regrets that I left home 5yrs ago,cos I have got a whole whole lot to show for it,and then I am really very comfy here too.But I miss Lagos like mad...with all the bad stories and stuff,I still miss my birth city.I can't wait to come back for good.

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byvan: I want 3,boys only.

I've got them...all 3 boys...such cuties.

1MCN:
My good friend, if you didnt know, people write memoirs towards the end of their careers. El-Rufai wrote his maybe as a mistake or cos he has told himself the truth that he's at the twilight of his career. That Soludo hasnt written one does not mean a 1st Class graduate of Economics has nothing to write about himself but that after over a score decae plus of his career he's still just fresher than palmwine. If you dont mind you may want to google his name and see for yourself the number of books of international reckoning that he has written.
Dont let sentiments of hate or sectionalism push you to self hurt.
Soludo responded to rufai with facts and figures so if he wants to refute it he should come up with his own facts and figures like an intellectual and not like indeed an accidental public servant.
God bless Nigeria and Nigerians.

Thank you for taking time to reply the idiot...You can't buy brains...It's either you've got it or you don't ...Great Ansah-Goldite.[color=#990000][/color]

1MCN:
My good friend, if you didnt know, people write memoirs towards the end of their careers. El-Rufai wrote his maybe as a mistake or cos he has told himself the truth that he's at the twilight of his career. That Soludo hasnt written one does not mean a 1st Class graduate of Economics has nothing to write about himself but that after over a score decae plus of his career he's still just fresher than palmwine. If you dont mind you may want to google his name and see for yourself the number of books of international reckoning that he has written.
Dont let sentiments of hate or sectionalism push you to self hurt.
Soludo responded to rufai with facts and figures so if he wants to refute it he should come up with his own facts and figures like an intellectual and not like indeed an accidental public servant.
God bless Nigeria and Nigerians.

Thank you for taking time to reply the idiot....You can't buy brains...It's either you've got it or you don't ...Great Ansah-Goldite.[color=#990000][/color]

[quote author=Shollypopz]The op is just another brainwashed product of an undisciplined man....

A cheat would display his/her colors regardless of how perfect or imperfect his/her spouse is.

Enough of trying to blame one's irrational and shameful act on another, you didn't cheat because your wife spent little time on you, you cheated because you made the decision to or because you lack the self control of a man
Nobody can and should ever push you to do what you don't want to and even if they succeed in pushing you, you should be responsible for your actions as long as you didn't HV a gun to your head.

Women should stop making excuses for men. Stop treating them like little kids that don't have a mind of their own or can't discern wrong from right. Let him be responsible for his own actions![/quote
Thanks Darl for this well written piece.Let the truth be told.

ichidodo: Hail Varsity of Nigeria,My Alma-Matter.

Hail her and rejoice for the giant awakes...Proud Lioness.

Ngozi Okonjo Iweala stylishly skipped the Alamieyesigha's question...but give it her she is one the few very learned ministers we've got.Straight to the point answers...I admire her.

ekel101:

pls nairalanders help me out. Your contribution wil be highly appreciated. Thanks

This is a tricky question, Dont Answer this Question on a first Interview, Just tell them that, you will stick to the Organisation pay for that position. Its not a good thing to start discussing money on a first interview it makes you look like someone that likes money. And if they insist that you should say an amount. Dont be afraid to say What you would like to earn, they cant disqualify you for saying a fair amount except if that amount is ridicul
ous for Eg As a bank teller you are asking for 300,000. Just Say something fair

Perfect Answer.Same thing I was told by a head hunter.

Ellashow:

Don't pay any attention to him, I'm sure most of the guys advising him to stick to his friend are surely or likely bachelors. This type of problem mostly occurs during the first two years in marriage when guys still act as if they can't be separated from their friends but when reality dawn on them(I.e having to provide for two to three kids+plus the wife and extended family) they adjust and start treating their wives as their number one family.

My dear,U said it all.Most times this so-called best friends/brothers who never allow a guy time for his wife are back-stabbers.Dayo's probably discussing Op's family behind him.I won't even advice Op's wife threaten him with divorce.No,she should simply pull or drag him out of that relationship since he obviously can't set his priorities right.I did the same o.I pulled and I pulled and I pulled...Nonsense.

Just to add one more thing guys,it is always advisable to attach your cv and cover letter as a single pdf document using the pdf joiner.Again,I understand it works to attach an application photo to ur cv.Well,here the standard cv should include an application photo.I hope this helps.

Pelummy: ma mum,my first LOVE............i do call her every dae,dad 1ce in two months,siblings 3rce a week

Same for me too dear.I talk to my mum every other day...

[
quote author=991]Driver's license is a joke in nigeria, even if you don't know how to put key inside ignition, just pay and you will obtain a license for driving.
another name of this country is SORRY!![/quote]

I tell u honestly...Nigeria is the only country I know of where blind men have got driving licenses.