When a woman constantly ask for money early in the relationship. In the beginning I have no problem spending money on kind and romantic gestures. I'll definitely spend more as things get serious, especially if there are talks of marriage but if we're just meeting and you're asking me for the whole world before I know you it's a major turn off!

I wonder why it is only considered a woman's failure when couples divorce? Indeed family is everything and sacrifices must be made for sure but we as men have to contribute more to relationships than just "working to provide". I think that as a man if you always claim your part in things is solely "providing" you negate other responsibilities and use "providing" as an excuse for cheating or asking for divorce over superficial reasons. I can tell you as a black American if you don't change as men African culture and expectations won't be enough to keep a woman for long. They will start looking for love outside of your culture or race at a rapid pace! One or two interracial or 'intercultural' relationships is hardly anything to fuss over but when it becomes a major thing you will be crying!

I see the same conversations going on in the west and I'll tell you as a black American male I think it's bad to force these things on black women of any culture. I don't think black women walk around all day debating whose skin is prettier. I think this is something that men sit around talking about and it's disgusting. Why subject women to these types of debates as if to say their value is based on something so small as skin? You only hurt yourself when you force these silly conversations on them and when a lot of them start marrying men of other races you'll be crying! Not all men are doing this but if you are I think you are undervaluing your women and your countries and that is how you end up losing everything!

Quantitative Analyst have a lot of job postings here in the US, it is one of the most competitive job titles you'll find. I can only imagine it is just as competitive everywhere else too. All I can say is it's a matter of background in terms of what your undergraduate studies were about and what you're seeking to focus your Ph.D on. If I know what you studied it's paint a clearer picture for me because I'm not sure if you're into physics, finance, education, etc. Those things will tell the tale for sure.

SMH, people often say Nigerian men "adopted" those behaviors from African American men but not all AA men chase white women or think they're better. As an AA man myself I prefer black women whether they're from the US, Caribbean or Africa. It is true that there is an atmosphere in western nations that encourages interracial relationships as symbol of status so as to say you have 'assimilated,' unfortunately that means removal from culture.

I feel that it is unfair to say that African men "adopted" those behaviors from us African Americans because that's like saying all African American men want white women. I also find it unfair because no man forces another to do anything unless a weapon is involved. Each person makes choices based on their values and since an African man is supposed to be 'cultured' it is strange for him to devalue his own women unless he didn't love them enough from the start. If it is becoming a routine thing one has to assess their values, even cultural ones, to see why the disconnect is happening. For example, as an AA male myself whenever I go onto social media read comments or watch videos where other AA men badmouth black women I find it disgusting. I feel as if those men are unaccomplished in their own lives and that they are so pathetic they think insulting black women will somehow make them seem more appealing to other people.

With respect, I feel that black women all over the world in some respects have been taken for granted. They have always been expected to sacrifice for sake of family and it is assumed they'll always be there no matter what is done to them. Because of that some black men eventually end up not wanting black women at all and see other women as a 'trophy' like some kind of challenge. This is foolish thinking because all it does is promote black women to seek out white men for "better treatment" and men like me who love my beautiful black women end up having a hard time convincing them I'm not bad.

As an AA I've seen quite a few Africans and diaspora people dating white people. In my experiences I've seen a lot of Ghanians do this. I have to admit I do feel some kind of way about this. People tend to believe that marrying a white man is easier because he "has no culture," they think he is more open minded. People forget that Europeans are "open minded" because they have had years of traveling around the world taking ownership of other people and those people's lands. One or two interracial relationships are hardly anything to fuss over but I find the rapid increase tragic. People of African descent have worked so hard for independence only to have their daughters and sons look for beauty and love outside themselves.

Please don't mistake what I am saying for hatred because I do not hate white people. What I see is that over time interracial families will have descendants who lose interest in their African roots in exchange for favor of European culture. Let's not forget how the 'West' portrays the African continent as a whole, how television programs depict it as a monolith void of diversity and incapable of leading itself. These were common opinions of many European scholars who unfortunately wrote many of the first books about Africa the rest of the world was exposed to. As an African American I had to sift through much of this propoganda to learn about my heritage. I have sat down with white people from all over the world who casually speak of Africa as if it is nothing, as if their version of truth is the only one that matters.

The question is, will children of interracial marriages be molded in the image of a Nigeria, Ghanian, Togolese, etc? Will you be able to say you are truly raising them in an "African house" or will your culture be relegated to a few books on shelves or Yoruba words they hear in your phone conversations with relatives abroad. Recently I ran into a beautiful black South African girl. Her mother brought her to the US when she was 2 years old and never taught her what tribe she was from or anything about the town they left. She told me her mother said "just be glad you're American now" and was pushing her to find white guys to marry. This hurt me a lot! This isn't just a Diaspora issue, it's an African one too and its growing! I feel like there is something black women feel they're not getting from black men. It has to do with the environment and how harshly they may feel they are treated and we have to make it better or we lose everything.

As an AA I've seen quite a few Africans and diaspora people dating white people. In my experiences I've seen a lot of Ghanians do this. I have to admit I do feel some kind of way about this. People tend to believe that marrying a white man is easier because he "has no culture," they think he is more open minded. People forget that Europeans are "open minded" because they have had years of traveling around the world taking ownership of other people and those people's lands. One or two interracial relationships are hardly anything to fuss over but I find the rapid increase in interracial relationships tragic. People of African descent have worked so hard for independence only to have their daughters and sons look for beauty and love outside themselves.

Please don't mistake what I am saying for hatred because I do not hate white people. What I see is that over time interracial families will have descendants who lose interest in their African heritage in exchange for favor of their European roots. Let's not forget how the 'West' portrays the African continent as a whole, how television programs depict it as a monolith void of diversity and incapable of leading itself. This was the common opinion of many European scholars who unfortunately wrote many of the first books about Africa that were distributed internationally. These opinions have shaped many people's total view of Africa over the years. As an African American I had to sift through much of this propoganda to learn about my heritage. I have sat down with white people from all over the world who casually speak of Africa as if their version of truth is the only one that matters.

The question is, will children of interracial marriages be molded in the image of a Nigeria, Ghanian, Togolese, etc? Will you be able to say you are raising them in an "African house" or will their heritage just be relegated to books, clothes found in their mom's closet or Yoruba words they hear in conversations their parent has over the phone. I recently engaged in a conversation with a black South African girl. Her mother brought her to the US when she was 2 years old and never taught her what tribe she was from or anything about the town they left. She told me her mother said "just be glad you're American now," she also told me her mom was pushing her to marry a white man for security. As an AA I feel some kind of way about this and I wonder if Africans feel the same.

Suigeneris93:
Abeg enough of this cheap flattery, some Nigerian men should really learn to respect women whether local or foreign. Its not because I'm Nigerian that one man will think he can maltreat me and get away with it.
#my two kobo

As an African American guy I used to always wonder how a lot of Nigerian guys can get away with things and not get labeled like us. In America there is a market for taboo which you see on TV and hear in American music. There is always an African American portrayed in these roles so people believe we're all a monolith, that we all have the same brains, dreams, values, etc. Nigerian guys on the other hand always dodge this by sheilding themselves with "culture." Many of them advertise that they are "family guys" with a bright future and willing to provide but not all of them reflect those values when they come to America. It's as if many of them come to "let loose" and live out fantasies all the while maintaining the Nigerian image with their families. If they are caught in a scandal their family just says they've "been in America too long" and that they should come home, they always scapegoat by blaming some of the culture seen on TV in America.

If things get really desperate they'll blame African American men for their behavior, I've witnessed this personally several times. a few years ago I was in college and also working managing a store; I had several Nigerian male employees who were a little older than me. A few of them had famlies back home in Nigeria but were secretely dating African American women who would visit their job and they'd go out on lunch breaks with. In college I've also witnessed some Nigerian men pulling the "oh baby, oh baby" routine with African American women, they were quick to try to get to the 'bedroom.' I think they assume that because the woman is African American she has no values at all and it's easy to get into bed with her as opposed to a Nigerian woman, but they have no intention of introducing this girl to their Nigerian family. I know this African American woman who graduated college with a great job, she's raising a son alone that she had with a Nigerian man who she thought loved her. He told her he wanted a family and promised he would not mistreat her and she made the mistake of sleeping with him before marriage...Eventually he did marry her, but he was sketchy about introducing her to his family and when he finally did approach his family about her they did not approve so he left the US without warning and went back to Nigeria. She tried to reach him for a long time and each time she only made contact with someone from his family who made an excuse for him, finally she had to file for divorce because he had abandoned her.

He told his family the baby wasn't his and they believed it because she was African American and he was Nigerian. A little later he tried to return to the states to continue pursuing his degree in nursing, which previously she had been paying for. When he did he was arrested for not paying child support, he was forced to take a DNA test where the child was proved to be his which was embarrassing to his family. The point I'm trying to make is that each individual chooses how they will treat people and culture isn't always the deciding factor in that, sometimes greed and selfishness is. Don't judge a person by the last conversation you had with them or promises, you have to look at their entire life and the decisions they make, how they treat others...you have to know their story, especially if you're coming to America. In Nigeria since I've never been I can only imagine that expectations and culture is everything so people may assume you're on the up and up simply because of culture. In America you can't trust everyone, people have to be tested so I'm always surprised with how many Nigerian men can get away with things while I'm stereotyped as the bad guy even if I'm not bad.