Stats: 3,189,404 members, 7,937,236 topics. Date: Sunday, 01 September 2024 at 06:07 PM |
Nairaland Forum / Henzly's Profile / Henzly's Posts
(1) (of 1 pages)
![]() |
Three contractors were bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in D.C. One was from Bangladesh , another from Nigeria and the third, from China. They went with a White House official to examine the fence. The Bangladesh contractor took out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well", he says, "I figure the job will run about $900. ($400 for materials, $400 for my team and $100 profit for me)". The Chinese contractor also did some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700. ($300 for materials, $300 for my team and $100 Profit for me)". The Nigerian contractor didn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700." The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?" The Nigerian contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from China to fix the fence.[color=#006600][/color] |
![]() |
After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb. 'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?' 'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today.' 'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd Never gone to work that morning.. 'Who's going to tell?' says the Pope with a smile. Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kms.. (Remember, the Pope is German..) 'Please slow down, Your Holiness!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. 'Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!' moans the driver. The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio. 'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher. The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 205 kph. 'So bust him,' says the Chief. 'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' said the cop. The Chief exclaimed,' All the more reason!' 'No, I mean really important,' said the cop with a bit of persistence. The Chief then asked, 'Who do you have there, the mayor?' Cop: 'Bigger.' Chief: ' A senator?' Cop: 'Bigger.' Chief: 'The Prime Minister?' Cop: 'Bigger.' 'Well,' said the Chief, 'who is it?' Cop: 'I think it's God!' The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it's God?' Cop: 'His chauffeur is the Pope! |
![]() |
What role does fashion play in romance..Do people actually go through the rigor of crazy fashion and styles to be romantic or just impress their name(s) in the register of FREAKS!!! Nigerian celeb..Denrele,Ladies be sincere,do you find him romantic and as do those in my pics..
|
![]() |
magnificio |
![]() |
dance! dance!! dance!!! |
![]() |
i no fit shout... |
![]() |
no wa...cunny man die,na cunny man go bury am... ![]() |
![]() |
Tag along will def. not do you any good..move on pls |
![]() |
"The terrorists over the years have continued to attack places of worship (churches and mosques) in order to destabilise the nation. This has necessitated the COAS to charge all corps and services of the Nigerian Army to provide ways and means of curtailing this menace. i totally dis agree with does the statement above....when did boko haram attack a mosques? news media outfits are there attacked in both Abuja and Kaduna state..tertiary institution in different state and so on..none of those,but mere propaganda ![]() |
![]() |
in my own opinion, i think there is lack communication between the two of you..you are somehow not disusing what need to be said..if you are so serious about her a truly want to marry her...start talking |
![]() |
It is not good to underestimate the power of any social media as it has in its capacity the ability to make or mar a constituted government...take a toll from what happened in the North Africa revolt...lets be careful |
![]() |
Marriage is a lifelong relationship and only you know if you are ready for this journey. Don't be deceived by what is today cos they might not be there tomorrow.Follow the dictate of your heart and you will not go wrong. |
![]() |
me na the boobs first ![]() |
![]() |
yepa....dis na bomb waiting to explode ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() |
Rocktation: Everything that rumour has, has turned out to be true so far. So why doubt this? abeg no think twice ![]() |
![]() |
na thunder go wipe dat him..d guy know say na the shortcut to take skip him bills be dat.. |
![]() |
chop the life of your head cos you don't know the back of tomorrow...yes, ja ye ori e o meyin ola |
![]() |
kilimanjaro: This OP sounds crazy to me! How do i enjoy my life without women? life too short for anyone to want to spend it alone....na small fraction of all the time wey u take hustle na him dem go take finish the money if you die either na your galfrnd or not... |
![]() |
love died with romeo and Juliet ![]() |
![]() |
ebamma: una think say jonathan na fool,he is daring the house of reps to impeach him so that he will unleash this ex-militants on them. tompolo na business guy,wetin u xpect |
![]() |
D'banj go toilet when kanye compile that list....no worry e don shit finish but nothing to take wipe him ass..so he dey beg jazzy for tissue, na their kanye vex say wot an insult when him get acid water for am here.. |
![]() |
congrats.. |
![]() |
swtchicgurl: Yoruba girls are so respectful! I saw two of them kneel down in appreciation after collecting money from the ATM. |
![]() |
Seriously you lack things to talk about...where the accident happen and which hospital ![]() ![]() ![]() |
(1) (of 1 pages)
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 26 |