I read this and this is just so sad. Marriage really takes God's grace, there are times that you are even weak and cannot even pray. @op how old are you? I am just asking that because I am really nosy. I think the only thing is just keep praying and do your best to take care of your children and yourself. I also advice you listen to some of Joyce Meyer,'s preaching... One about how you should not expect your spouse to make you happy always your happiness depends on you... That might help. On my own side my hubby complains I am not affectionate, but it never used to be like that... So many entwined reasons is actually accountable for this but the most is I see someone (I will not mention who) I really do not like in my husband and that just deters me because i honestly dislike the person. I hope this is not what is happening to your husband hence why he is shutting off on the affection side. For me I am constantly praying God should let me see my husband for him and not see that person I dislike in him.

Fortune-teller stood out in this post, please how old are you Fortune teller? Are you Nigerian I kept trying to find your old threads in which you kept referring to but could not. I am a strong believer of leaving people to their devices but why are you so hell bent on cheating on your husband... You said something about men that cheat should be told about the Bible etc...i have seen how God has dealt with adulterers first hand, some might say it's not God, some might say it's coincidences, but the way things unravelled in their lives you can definitely trace it back to their straying. Good sex can be achieved if you put your mind to it....you can lead your husband to giving you good sex without even him realising it. Me I won't say don't cheat as God has given you freewill...but it's a shame People choose to go down that route.

From my father: Never be desperate for anything and even if you are desperate NEVER show your desperation as people will take advantage of you if they know you are desperate (adding my own and they will fork with your mind it's called mind forkery)

Dearest Mrs Murphy,

Please be encouraged, what a man can do a woman can do also. Is Theresa May a man, what about Hillary Clinton?? Person wey have head no have cap, person wey have cap no have head... Like soo many people said there are people out there who are wishing for just one healthy baby... But we human being sha.... May God help us ooo....we are never grateful or satisfied. Meanwhile @Chy4luv are you able to disclose this clinic to us... Make I go do me I just want healthy multiple birth that's all... Please share if you are willing.

I simply think men just don't understand this. I will not a an your wife is wrong or right ooo... But me myself been a married woman we have been married almost six years now got told at both traditional and white wedding my husband's parents are now my parents, I really did took his family as my family that even what I will not do for my family I used to do for them but this year I was categorically told I am a wife in their house I am not part of their immediate family, needless to say I cannot even be bothered to do 0.1% of what I used to do before because I now know my place just a wife... So having been through a similar stuff I know where your wife is coming from... I think they need to stop saying his family is now your family crap at naija weddings cos we women get disappointed when we find out its not true

everhopeful:
@op: Your wife seems to me like good woman. I believe that during your traditional wedding, your wife was told that your mother is now her mother and your family is now her family, and it seems your wife wholeheartedly took those words literally, believed this and acted accordingly since you said she has a good relationship with your mother.

Your action just told her the reality and don't be surprised when she actually starts treating your family as different from hers because that was the message you guys clearly passed across: that your mother is not her mother and can never be.

Your home is yet young, so please do not destroy it with carelessness. Your primary interrst shouldn't be about rights or wrong but about the fact that your wife felt hurt by the exclusion, which may have been reduced if she wasn't the only spouse in law as this may otherwiise have reduced the impact of the exclusion.

If really your priority is in making your home work and not on people taking sides, I would advise that you apologise to your wife and let her know you consider her a part of your family. Tell her you naively thought it was just a picture and didn't think she would be hurt.

May God bless and keep your home.

Most of the comments on here has made me laughed out loud. I think most men we love it but us women are like oloun maje oloun maje oloun maje oooo

This is my first time posting on the romance Section, but this thoughts just keep going round in my head and I just want to put it out there.

Do men really love women Swallowing their cum or is it just a wish think that has been made believe. To all my married women (and unmarried women in serious relationship too) out there do u swallow your man's cum or do you spit it out after you have given them a Mouth Action? If you do swallow do you actually enjoy it or do you do it out of obligation to your husband?

And if you do swallow what are the tips to doing this because let's be honest with each other the texture of cum isn't the best... The gloopiness of it makes one want to throw up at times.

What is she wearing People need to be dressing for their shape and size biko

OK ooo sorry oo, but right from reading the ops long ass post, all I took out of it was obeyed disobey.... Naija men need to learn that their wives are not kids except you actually married a kid..... Please let me ask how many times have you apologised to her when you disobeyed her? Some people need christ like behaviour in their home. All these talks of obeyed and disobeyed tells what sort of man you are.

What's love got to do got to do with it babe(in Tina Turners voice) in marriages love is never enough.

Why is she putting it all over twitter tho?? The problem twitter go start no one fit finish am...

If someone else's husband leaves their wife for you, surely one day they will leave you too for somebody else. I wonder what Jennifer Aniston thinks about all these.... I had been waiting for this since he left Jennifer Aniston for Angelina in 2005 I must admit they lasted longer than I thought sha but eventually it happened and I bet Jenny is hula hooping with Tony Braxton he wasn't man enough for me playing in da background. KARMA NA B*ITCH SO ALL HUSBAND SNATCHING B*ITCHES BEWARE!!!!!

Lexusgs430:


Wow, Welcome back. it took you a whole 4 years to reply. LOLZ
Hope you have found a palatable coping mechanism that suits all ?

LOL... Life took over...being a wife, mother, Work and education took over. I definitely found a coping mechanism... Pray to God, do my best for my nuclear family and the family I came from, every other person especially the annoying ones are irrelevant...

Lexusgs430:


Would you update us on status?

Update I now ignore.... cannot be bothered with people like that...

I cannot remember the last time I logged onto naira land but on seeing this topic I just had to. OP i am a married lady too and I have been something similar. I used to call my parents in law a lot before but eventually my FIL started causing arguments between I and hubby, when I saw this I stopped calling him, then he started saying I don't call him because I hate him, my hubby does not call my parents but not once has my father ever complained about it when my mum complains I just beg her not to be annoyed. Anything they do now that angers me I just IGNORE... whatever people sow they will reap... Some family love each other and are close, some don't! If your husband and his people does not respect your family, leave them, ignore it... You do ur best for the family you came from but always remember that your children are your top priority. @horsemouth it is very clear you are a misogynistic person but don't worry your pickin will grow too what comes around goes around! And please people stop saying men are like babies treat them with respect love etc... Babies do not need respect to survive, they need love and food and shelter. respect is reciprocal any man that is not ready to respect his wife and demands respect because he feels he is like a baby should darn well stay in his parents house and be treated as such till mature enough to marry... My dear just ignore ignore ignore what his family does... Infact don't let them call your mum they are not the one feeding her... I don't wanna type too much but some in laws are like that but you are not perfect either hence you have to I will say it again IGNORE

Hmm that a good question...me I no know ooo.I have one boy already....maybe 8 more boys and 1 girl then we will start our own church,my husband is the G.O and I will be mummy G.O, our first son will be first pastor and will designate the rest as they come...I kan shout

mazizi tonene: Rip.....survived by his wife?.......no kids ?

He was survived by a wife and a step son. He did not have a child of his own

wheesin: eyah.. at least he saw d new year

no he did not he died 31st December 2013

Bad move on her part, she should have been adviced never to shave facial hair and tweeze instead. When you shave hair grows back with vengeance most times and comes out much worse than before...let her see a doctor to checked if there is a medical reason for the hair growth

Congrats like people said let her register with an ob/gyn as soon as possible and look forward to all the moodswings and morning sickness...hopefully might be lucky enough not to get any morning sickness. Once again congratulations to you both.

Omd I typed a long ass description only just to loose it...anyway it was not so bad even though people kept discouraging me but I read somewhere that it wi only be as bad as you think it will be so I kept saying it will be a walk in the park and my first baby arrived within one hour of labour with just gas and air and glory be to God almost two years later he is growing in Gods wisdom and knowledge.

What did you use to have as family meal when you were younger? Do you still follow the same meal tradition of has it change if it has changed what has it changed to?

I remember back in Nigeria when I was a child we used to have sliced bread and fried eggs with thick milo on Christmas Mornings (the only time my mum ever made our milo drink that thick) , Christmas afternoons would be jellof rice and chicken/turkey and fried fish whilst Chrismas evenings would be pounded yam with Egusi...but since we moved to the UK it has changed...we don't have the English dinner....we just have jellof rice, fried rice, white rice and turkey...you can choose what rice you want as my mother cooks all these different types of rice

DUMP ASAP, do not let anyone compromise your belief, what a waste of space-the man i mean, is sex food?

There are so many news emerging about domestic abuse all over the world, the other day I was readin in women weekly about a woman that her husband will beat her up because she was pregnant with a girl whilst he wanted a boy. These couple are british, so needless to say, the oyinbo did not take the shit for much longer, she packed out ship sharp. Chika Ike also hinted that domestic abuse is one of the reasons she decided to get out of her marriage. So to ask, can domestic abuse evr be justified? I have heard of many people who have being married for more than 40 years, they have endured physical abuse, emotional abuse and psychological abuse from the partner that is suppose to love them and they are still in such marriage, "suffering and smilling". Why Can people ever really forgive such

Sorry if there has bein a thread like this before, its just that this matter weighs heavily on my mind, and I cannot imagine what this people are going through.

To all the married chritians in the house, how do you deal with the spirit of unforgiveness

I got £30 Amazon vouchers!

Sorry you are going true this oo, but what first came to mind when i read this is: He spits on you and you take it, Abeg if he ever does such again, you too spit on him, infact after spitting on him, carry water and pour ontop his head too. What rubbish!

Was there no QC testing before the drugs were distributed?

Omg, debrief you need to write a book, your story sounds like it could help a lot of other people in such abusive marriage(s). My heart goes out to you and cotton. But like dayo said, a woman needs financial independence. I always tell my husband that I am very sure that if i dont have financial independence that he would have suffer me no be small , because my father in law used to abuse the wife physically (don't know if its still going on), denies the woman money if they argue, threatens not to pay the children's school fees, sleeps around like no ones business and calls her thief, liar etc when there is an argument and I swear if I had known this before marrying my husband, I might not have married him, because like they say some sons are exacly like their father, but I thank God for my husband, although there was a day he said I will slap you when we were having an argument and i told him try it and you will see that before the end of today if i do not go to prison because i have murdered you and i meant it! And since that day there have being no such issue of I will slap you! I think after that day, we actually started understanding each other more.

@ debrief please lemme ask, did you know that you ex mother in law was bein abused by the father before you married him, and if you did, did knowing gave you doubts about marrying your ex?

@ debrief and cotton, i am very sorry ooooo, but can i ask, did the tought of injuring your exes aver came to your mind, because me as i dey, mo ya wayray gan oo, eventhough I am quiet, if a man that is not my father lifts up his hand to beat me, I know I will draw out the bread knife and do some serious damage that might lead to death to such man.


But please people lemme ask ooo, why are most naija parents especially the mothers in desperation for their kids to stick at marriage, even if they are being abused or unhappy? because I say openely to my mum that the day my husband puts his hand up to beat me, that day I will pack my bags and that will be it, that i am not scared of divorce, although i do not pray for it but eventhough I know truly that my father has never laid his hands on my mother, my mother still shouted on me to shut up, that what do i mean divorce, that i havent gotten married to divorce.

As far as I know, the birth wasn not traumatic, and although she was a bit down after the birth, I honestly think she is better now and they are both Financially stable, the husband is an engineer and she is a pharmacist. They live in the UK and one of the paramount excuse that she is forever saying is do i know how much private schools costs in the UK? she said she is not prepare to send her son to a state run school, even though i believe state run schools in the UK are still as good as a private education.

Also beforwe she got pregnant she started some training to qualify her to be a manager of the pharmacy she works, but since she got pregnant and went on maternity leave, her work place have sent someone else on these course, and she said imagine her having another kid, she might never make it to that managerial post

debrief08: Before you ask if she is being deceitful please answer the following questions:
1. Did she have a traumatic child birth?
2. did she suffer or still suffers postpartum depression?
3. Are they both financially stable or do the suffer for pampers and feeding money but "believe that God will provide" for the mulitiple kids her husband intends they produce?

Most times we stick our noises in the affairs of others without considering what they are going through. People have issues they deal with, marriage is hard enough without some relative second guessing decisions of a couple, this is between her and her husband and he should find out why his wife changed her mind and give her time to reconsider her feelings, also find out why she is changing her tune if she has any of the issues mentioned above instead of going to gossip to his family members.
My Husband wanted 1 child, I wanted 3, but we agreed on 2 and have stopped at that, even though I have 2 boys, i will not do longer throat of looking for a girl, I am thankful for these 2 I have. Training children now is hard, I like being involved in my children's lives, I also have a career and a business to run, School fees are crazy, I intend to adopt later when we are more settled. Not to forget postpartum depression I had with my last baby after a life threatening and traumatic child birth. Immediately after my babys birth my husband took me to get long term birth control, a lot of people were twisting their mouths and saying what they want but they are not the ones who will birth or raise the kids, the kids are our responsibility and people should decide based on available finances and physucal conditions just how many they can care for and not just breed based on ":hope"

After my baby had already arrived,the midwife took the gas n air off me, n i said to her can i have a bit more please, she was like but your baby is already out, I said I dont care, gas n air makes me feel good! I only had gas n air no other thing, n that stuff was gooooooooooood, i wish i cud have it allday everyday!

King Sunny Ade already sang about this long ago: he said oko nsin iyawo rele ale nitori ati je ati mu... for none yoruba speakers it means the husband send/follows the wife to the lovers house because they gats to afford food and drinks nau...if it ever gets worse, i kill myself rather than be sleeping with men for money, such shame what the world has turn into.

My cousin was just telling me that his wife deceived him. I asked him why he would say such a thing and he replied me that before they got married, they had always discuss having 4 children, but now the wife has refused to have any more children. So I called the wife and we were just gisting and then we started talking about the children issue, and she said she really meant it, because she did not realise so many things before having a kid. Meanwhile her first child is only 11months old. These are the reasons she gave for not wanting anymore kids, she said my aunty refused to come help her out when she had a baby that if it was my aunty's daughter, that would she not go and help her out with the baby no matter what? She said that she wants the best for her child e.g. private school etc and that if they have another child, affording a private education is just near to impossible, another reason she gave was that with another child, she won't be able to achieve all the things she wants to achieve, career wise that even right now she feels like her life is on hold, this person I am talking about is just 25 year of age. I have a 10months old baby as well but I still achieve and will keep achieving soo much with my son.

But in your own opinion would you call this deceiving and what advice can I give to my cousin if she never changes her mind?