Hi all,
I leave for Johannesburg tonight. Hoping to attend the shopping festival there. But all these stories I'm reading on this thread dey fear me small small o. Hoping to stay with a friend in the suburbs but I still might decide on hotel last last. Can I safely roll and solo, abi do I need a guide when shopping? Another thing I've heard is that buses are dangerous and it's much safer to use cabs. As an awon boy, I should fear no one but I need to preserve my neck.
Grateful for any tips.

khalat:

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My system was also infected with this virus. It's most damaging effects seem limited to XP as it doesn't change obvious file names on Vista.
I also went online to find the fix and I repeatedly ran into the above poster named khalat. Check any forum connected to this "Ahsan" virus and he's everywhere advising others to download his "Fix". I strongly believe that this guy is the virus creator and stand to be corrected. I'm waiting for anyone who has successfully tried and used his fix to bear witness so I can eat my words, or else I suggest the moderators should look into this chap.

quote by sugabelle
"hmm'n, he wasn't a "baller" when we started dating; we were students in uni, and I stuck with him because what he lacked in giving cash, he made up for in being supportive and loving. And now that he's rolling in dough, who else is he going to blow it on but me, huh? . LovePeddler-talk or not, guys are demanding in their own rights, and if the babe is relunctant bc she feels he is too stingy to deserve her most prized possession, na crime? And for the record, I'm quite comfortable in my own right, but it feels extra nice when your man chooses to be generous and not act like he thinks you're a prostitute because you expect him to spend a little."

Your most prized possession is your vagina??! Please tell me that's not what the average Nigerian girl believes.

It’s not so hard. I just try to remember the following;
1. I am not alone. There are lots of people with similar views in this country. Fear of persecution and ostracism keeps them silent.
2. To keep my thoughts to myself and not volunteer them unless specifically asked to do so. Forcing your opinions down people’s throats is unacceptable, no matter your point of view.
3. To try and be diplomatic always when expressing my views. Nothing causes folks to act irrationally like challenges to their belief systems.
4. Keep an open mind and let a small part of me be ready to accept the fact that I might be wrong. Being totally convinced about something without proof should be left to fanatics.

Moderators,
U sure this thread should be under romance? I think entertainment (comedy) or even religion would be more appropriate.

Na wa 4 u Naija witches sha. Razz and unimaginative. Na only to eat meat and drink blood una sabi. Where are all the pentagrams, sabbats and spells (eye of newt anyone?). Behind up guys.

@joobreel
Wetin be "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH"? Na so winch dey laff 4 ya village? U no watch "Tales by Moonlight"?
Na "Whheeen whheeen hheeen!"

LWKMD!
The poster who wrote in tongues was particularly hilarious.

It seems the opinions prevalent among those who saw the text message and prayed is that;

1. It doesn’t matter whether or not the SMS is a hoax. As far as it makes us pray more, some good can come out of a lie or trick.
2. All prayer is good so therefore;
   a) You can't have too much prayer.
   b) No prayer is wasted.

I beg to differ. You can pray too much, just like you can eat too much, sleep too much or work too much. Too much of EVERYTHING is bad. I also disagree with the statement that no prayer is wasted. If you’re praying against the inevitable, then what is that? No amount of prayer will stop the sun from rising or setting. I think that no 1 above is best left to each individual’s conscience/spirit/what have you.

I don't know if Pastor Adeboye sent the message or not. I'm inclined to believe it's a hoax. The basic difference between a hoax and a scam is that the former is done purely out of mischief not profit. It's like someone yelling fire just to see how many people will run.

Whether he did or didn't send it is immaterial. Those who saw the text did one of two things;
1.) Obeyed
2.) Ignored

I read the text on my phone and went to sleep, immediately.

My guy,

No worry too much. To be able to earn a living is one of the basic human rights. Therefore, it would take a lot for the screening facility to declare a person unfit for employment.  The person has to be quite ill. Truth is in most cases, when you see a really sick person, you will know, doctor or not.

We do a lot of pre-employment medicals where I work. A lot of the candidates usually come in apprehensive, especially the first timers. I usually try to educate them that most of the time the medical is to detect early and manage promptly conditions that you might otherwise have been unaware of.
Most times, the screenings reveal nothing abnormal. Even when they do, it is usually something that can be treated.

Don’t think of it as pass or fail. You were probably nervous when you saw the doctor that’s why your BP shot up, something known as “white coat hypertension”. Anyway, if a routine screening picked up high blood pressure, I say you’re one of the lucky ones. Reason being you can get to adjust your lifestyle early enough to become a full-fledged hypertensive. If it were diabetes, then you would need to change your diet, exercise more and probably start treatment.

Even HIV my brother, the big one that everybody fears and the main reason for the rise in pre-employment medicals in Naija, if detected early can be managed with the right drugs. Anyway HIV should ideally not be grounds for disqualification, in most jobs. You actually have the right to sue your employer for wrongful termination, I think.

What is in the mind of most employers when they send new employees for health assessment is;
If I hire this person, will he or she;
[list]
[li]Suddenly collapse one day in my office and will I have to pay huge compensation to their families?
Be constantly taking sick-leave?[/li]
[li][/li]
[/list]

Pre-employment is a good thing. It is actually the only way most of us here get to do a medical check-up in our adult lifetimes which is not ideal.

I hope I’ve been helpful.

@teissys
Thanks, I think. But it's not that funny now.

Abeg make dem nor banned dem o! Na him we country people dey take forget our sorrow.

MOST places to watch ball in 9ja are generally trouble-free. Insecurity is bad for business. That said, trouble usually coughs before it roars. You'll generally have an idea when it's about to get ugly. My advise is to choose carefully. If for any reason you're not comfortable where you are, find somewhere else or bone the match. If you're somewhere alayes are smoking publicly, join them or cut out, FAST

@aieromon
I was also in Benin that day. One of the happiest days of my life. Plenty hotels dey G.R.A. where u for watch the match in peace.

@tosinaded
Help me tell them o. I served in Borno and na Real and Barca be them life. EPL is a distant second especially in the rural areas. And I have seen fight there because of La liga so no difference.

Capoeira. Now that sounds cool. Maybe not the most effective but at least you'll look cool doing it.
One I really want to get into is Thai boxing. I heard it's second to none for sheer effectiveness in combat situations.

I'm curious to know if one can actually get enough training by buying the DVDs, books, punching bags and other apparatus, and practising on your own. If it were judo or taekwondo, I'm sure there are enough dojos around but where the heck is someone going to find a capoeirista to teach you?

At last.
I've posted in several places looking for a martial arts thread.

I'm not a practitioner. I'm actually looking to learn and maybe get some tips on which martial art to begin and where one can do so in Naija.

Quote by nezerst:
I've been sexually molested by uncle,cousins and housboys b4 I attained the age of 10 and tese also happened to my sisters.

Shuo! What kind of home did you grow up in?! That particular post sounds less believable than others.

The username means "scrotum" in my language. It represents the fact that I have balls.

Plus I wanted to be naughty.

mccloud224:

Why didnt you write your post this way :

IF YOU PARENTS ARE GOVT OFFICERS AND ARE GUILTY OF LOOTING FUNDS, WOULD YOU REPORT THEM?

Very true

Poster,
That would be difficult for several reasons.
1) Snitches are universally despised, much more so in Nigeria. Our country is like a great big ghetto where nobody gives information unless he absolutely has to. Not to mention against your own blood.  Even relatives of suspected armed robbers don't turn them in. No matter how noble your intentions are, society would turn against you and the criminal you helped lock up would be seen as a hero betrayed by his own blood.

2) Not that many Nigerians see the crime of 419 as a bad thing. Unlike robbery or ritual killing, it doesn't confer pariah status. Amongst some people, it's cool to be a yahoo boy. When people are attacking you for turning in a fraudster relative, the question they will ask is "Is it not ORDINARY 419? Did he KILL somebody?"

3) To report your relative to the authorities, you would need to collect hard evidence. That means going through their personal effects, email, documents, etc,

4) Those doing bad have relatives who hate what they're doing but would rather advise them or pray for God to touch them because of the emotional toll. It takes a lot to send your relative to jail, especially if you love that person. How terrible would you feel knowing that your brother is emaciated, has scabies and is getting raped every night in prison because you sent him there.

5) Your motives would be questioned. Nobody including the authorities, would believe that you're doing it to make Nigeria better. You would be accused of everything from jealousy to blackmail.

6) Report to whom? Nigerian Police??!! EFCC has lost some credibility since Ribadu left. What if the relative settles them successfully and escapes yawa? Trouble for you.

What sound would mess make if it was written down? Any suggestions?

Greetings,
I would like to know if there is a martial arts thread anywhere in the sports section. I've searched but I can't find. I want to discuss about fighting styles, popular martial artists and places where one can learn. I posted something earlier but the moderator carried it to adverts. Dunno why, I thought the sports area would be the ideal place to start.

If there's none can I create one now?

Men, I wan learn shakpanshu. The chancing don too much and I no fit carry gun.

Hi,
I would like the address of any reputable studio that teaches martial arts. My martial art of choice to learn would be Muay Thai. If not available, then maybe kickboxing or karate.
Any suggestions?
Thanks.

Quote from: Aloy.Emeka on April 14, 2009, 05:58 AM
Our coaches do not understand any of these three languages.

My 1st post so please bear with me:

Nairaland has taught me the following

1) Nairaland has taught me from many of the posts, that we have an abundance of brilliant, funny, enlightened and amazing individuals. There is no human reason why Nigeria should still be in this mess.
[b]@Jamace[/b]
You are so right: Nairaland is another Nigeria

2) As an aspiring comedian, Nairaland has taught me to always come here first when looking for material. Some of these posts are HILARIOUS!