I came back home from work this night to find out my wife and my son have packed and abandoned me .
My son is 4 years old and I really don't mean to hurt my wife .
She travelled on the 26th of December to her dad house here in Lagos .I missed her so much and I sent her money to come back last Saturday though she said she will be coming on Sunday only for me to call her between 2pm and 8pm without her picking the call .
The phone rang times without number .I later gave the last try and the no was busy answering other call .She later picked and said there was no light .So,she couldn't charge. I was mad because the excuse was too flimsy .I challenged her to tell her but your phone rang .I was mad and I lost trust in her that moment and flashed back to the excuse that she will not come on Saturday.
Seriously ,I was angry and different thoughts came to my mind like May be she went to see another man .
That hour ,I told her I don't want to see her again .I was angry though .She didn't come on Sunday. She came back very early yesterday which was Monday.
I will not lie ,I have been so angry ,ranting and telling her to go back to her parent house that I don't trust her again.
To my surprise ,I came back tonight and she already packed all her loads ,packed my son things without leaving any thing .Her wardrobe and my son wardrobe have been empty as I am typing .She packed everything .
Seriously ,I am depressed cos I love her .I love my son .I can't even allow him to stay over there to start schooling. Me and my wife have been together since 2013 .We have gone through a lot of difficulties together and now ,things are beginning to look good for us .I am so down right now .I called he dad and her brother .It is like they took that decision together .
I have never beaten her before but I do nag especially when bills are weighing me down .His dad and his brother was just shouting at me .Fear of been a single dad or living alone at this stage of my life will make me a walking ghost and the fact that ,I really love my son too and also my wife too will one day kill me .
Imagine ,that Saturday she changed what she saved my no with and saved with my son name.I attached my call history .Check the image of the missed calls.
Please what do I do?I am devastated .
Some of her chats this night ..
[1/10, 9:35 PM] SWEETHEART: Hv always endure with u even though u did not hv money,but u always rain insult on me everyday .am not coming back I want to work and make my own money,u said u hv never achieved anything good bcoz of me!u said I am your biggest mistake in life and now hv made up my mind with you.you pushed me to the wall!u make me carry luggage in the hot sun and cry ,am tired,I cried and cried and endure all bcoz of love so nao am ready to work and earn good for myself and my son. [1/10, 9:40 PM] SWEETHEART: U can change ur key am not coming again [1/10, 9:46 PM] SWEETHEART: Am not ,u know is too late for me to come back to .... and u urself know is my biggest fear bcoz I don't like coming here but u make me come back,is too late. Even wen u always tell me to go,I will still wait but u make me come back to my fear It is too late. [1/10, 9:46 PM] SWEETHEART: ...will start school on Monday here and just take responsibility of it, if u don't want to loose ur son too.
Cyntie55: Good day nairalanders. Season greetings to y'all. I'm so angry right now. Please I need mature advice.
My father is not a learned person but he make sure all his children are graduates. My younger brother(last born and only son) rounded up his Nysc few months ago, we're just 2 girls. My elder sis and I. My elder sis is a nurse in Austria (3 years now), she's married with a kid in Austria. My big sister send money home once in 3 months, and I have been the one receiving the money. I share the money exactly as instructed by my big sis. I have never cheated anyone, Infact my Dad and Big sis communicate very well. My Dad trust me so much.
My younger brother is always angry, He said he feel cheated all the time. He shouts and talks to me anyhow like I'm his mate. Honestly speaking, I gave my younger brother more love and respect that he could ever imagine. When he was serving, he would call telling me he need 10k urgently, sometimes 20k, that he will pay back. Immediately I will send it to him and he would never pay back. Same thing he does to my father. If we ask him what's he using his allawee for?? He would angrily say so is becus we're sending him "chicken change" that's why we're asking jamb questions.
He said we don't regard him, he called my Dad a SIMP, he said my Dad listen more to my big sis and I....but he don't listen to any of his suggestions.
My brother is a 2:1 (second class upper) graduate in economics from UNIBEN. After his Nysc all he does is to sleep and eat. My Dad's good friend told my brother to come to Lagos and resume work with him. He refused. My Dad ask him if he wants to further his education (masters or professional courses)he said no....Okay follow my Dad to his cement shop and help him (my dad even promised to pay him salary) he refused....I overheard him on a call with a friend and i suspect he's now into yahoo yahoo.
Look at what happened. My big sis sent us money yesterday to celebrate this festive period. She said I should give my brother 50k, I should take 80k and give my father the rest (abt 250k). My Dad is always aware of everything. I even added 20k out of my money and I transferred 70k to my brother, I was left with 60k (becus she also sent me hair and I plan to sell it becus I already had enough). You can imagine this ungrateful idiot started insulting me, that I cheated him. the fool angrily withdrawn the money from his account and SET IT ON FIRE (70k). He called my elder sister and started warning her saying "if he can't receive the money henceforth, she should stop sending him money again that he's the man of the house". My Dad gave him a resetting, resounding, hot and dirty slaps. He pulled out a knife, deflated my Dad's car tyres and ran away from the house.
Everyone is not happy. I don't want my brother to live a wayward life. He's 24 years old. Please nairalanders Help!
Eriokanmi: Come back 15 years later and share your Canada experience with us young man . But when you come back, hope you'd not hide when you see your friends and mates you left behind Progress .
Nigeria is a land of opportunities to only those who have the inner eyes to see one. Nothing can ever make me take such a decision of relocating. If you want to go, bye-bye but you'd spot the difference in later years if you choose to remain there . Why not apply same spirit on developing yourself here? Go there for studies and come back with opportunities. I'd like to cite a few examples below on some of us who came back, against all odds.
1- I've been around the globe, even acquired certificates, up to 4 different ones and some training skills in amazing facilities. I came back with an opportunity which is seriously proferring solutions to our problems in Nigeria. No manager in the leading oil and gas company in Nigeria can match my worth...no be bragging matter. I don hobnob with world leaders, including Barack Obama. I'd have regretted it, had I stayed back.
2-Anyone who goes to one of the old generation banks would see an inverter with battery banks on one side of their banking hall, powering their atms... its as a result of an innovation brought home by my uncle. He left union bank for Atlanta in the 90s, got employed at Walmart as stores officer. One day, as he was going home branched at a newspaper vendor( a mexican) booth to read papers as usual and there he spotted an Inverter company located in Arlington. I'm mentioning it as it is so people could check it out. Its called Trace Engineering, later changed their name to Xantrex. He applied to them to be their rep in Nigeria to solve the epileptic power supply in critical sectors but they refused his application for 3 reasons. One, that the product was new to Africa and 2ndly, that being black, it would be impossible to convince his people on adopting the technology. 3rdly, that they weren't ready to expand beyond the shores of America as at that time. He felt disappointed. 2 months later, they called and told him they had reconsidered his application and invited him for 2 weeks training after which he was asked to come to Nigeria with demos to show to his prospects.
Long story cut short, his friends of Nigerian decent blasted him, they said his village people had come calling. He summoned courage and left America with almost nothing. On getting home, he started from his 1-room apartment he left behind. He went to companies, the CBN and other places in government too. CBN told him they had constant power supply with 3 standby automatic switch generators so, they'd not need his ideas. He told them but its free, they now allowed him to install one at their IT dept. 6 months later they had issues with their generators as there were a major power outage from national grid so they over fired the generators. They all packed up within same time. They had to order parts from abroad but then they needed to keep their IT dept running to prevent loss of files. The moment the 3rd gen stopped , all the directors were panicking, rushed to the IT room only to find out that the staff were working as normal with lights on. The called my uncle over, thanked him for saving them a major disaster and gave him a contract to install the inverter on all the CBN branches nationwide. Shortly after that, the atm revolution came and CBN recommended this man to all banks starting from the old generation banks...this man won a global distributor of the year 4 times and was invited with family to the USA for an award each time. His colleagues back then can't even near him in anything. Rather he gives them money on each visit. If you want to go...go and school or you spend a little time and while you're there, study the environment, study our challenges back home and you'd not regret leaving for home ultimately.
A friend is talking with sanwoolu on ocean transport from ikorodu to lagos Island now and discussion is at advanced stage . He's worked with a similar company abroad for some years now and now he wants to tap into the opportunity and the company is ready to fund this project 100%. When you see his private jets or copter hovering ahead of you tomorrow you see him on forbes list, don't say money why...while working in the biting cold over there.
Kenny and D1 would have stayed put and remained stagnated. See the duos balling today. Their contribution to the entertainment industry is invaluable. These are the people we know. There are several other successful guys out there who took a similar decision.
My 50cents had been given...
Can you light my candle? I need a job, anything. I'm ready to relocate. I'm a graduate school teacher.
lkillbrokehoes: It's very possible, just save money and leave that country. the first time I traveled out of Nigeria for school, I thought I left a very big zoo. I was free and overwhelmed, the joy in me was different that day and you won't want to come back because there's everything you need, and if you aren't the lazy type making it there is 100% possible.
Abeg, help me. I don't know or have anyone. I wish I can be a libration to my family lineage o!
It's simple as ABC. Na see finish dey cause all these insults. Conceal your plans, be less independent and create scarcity of your presence. Don't even seat with them to watch movies in the sitting room. See, if the house is your parent's, and you have your selfcon in the same house... just live like a tenant. Avoid so much familiarity; jokes and too many talks and gist. What you own them is greeting whenever you cross path with them. Create some rules and limits. Mind your business, avoid anything that will bring problem or them calling you for a talk. Take up responsibilities of paying some utility bills, electrical fault maintenance and once in a while support them with foodstuffs... in all to avoid see finish. Do things that will make them to always have confidence that you're around. Once in a while, stir the water to catch fish. Get provoked and put everyone in their place. No liberation comes peacefully. In all, make sure you have a work, leave in the morning and be back...no late nights. Respect yourself and make sure you cook your own food. Don't let them know your movement and plans. If you go same church, change it. Or sometimes, don't go at all. Create scarcity of your presence. Watch them avoid you...lol!
IamD18: The truth is; If you stop eating their food and maintain your lane, they'll actually get triggered, annoyed and confused. They'll see no reason to feel they are doing much for you, which will surely make them reduce they way they disrespect you.
Just pipe low, go out, come back, return to your lane, support them the way you can, reduce your familiarity and jokes, talk less and act like you give less fvck. They'll actually seat up and make some adjustments.
Not eating in a house you are being accommodated in is a very underrated way of gaining your respect and avoiding "See finish".
Na street you be. If the house is your parents, and you have your selfcon in the same house... just live like a tenant. Avoid so much familiarity; jokes and too many talks and gist. What you own them is greeting whenever you cross path with them. Create some rules and limits. Mind your business, avoid anything that will bring problem or them calling you for a talk. Take up responsibilities of paying some bills and once in a while support them with foodstuffs... in all to avoid see finish. Make sure you work, leave in the morning and be back...no late nights. Respect yourself and make sure you cook your own food. Don't let them know your movement and plans. If you go same church, change it. Or sometimes, don't go at all. Create scarcity of your presence. Watch them avoid you...lol!
RaptObserver: Hmm whenever I see a well packaged lady and I imagine the possibilities of her punna smelling like a rotten fish, I always conclude that there is nothing to get excited about. After all the show off here now, ask this babe to UnCloth and you will still not be happy after the action cos you will realise it is not different from what you have been doing if anything this punna may not even be as sweet as your normal girlfriend you re trying to cheat on. Same applies to married men. Your wives are cleaner than the side chicks in many occasions. So no big deal.
By then you must have realised how stupid you were trying to get her. The time spent, the money spent and all. Just for a few minutes of pleasure. It's high time men got sense. We are the price! These species know that their powers and whatever they have got to offer is just the boobs and boots. That's how they're made. Ignore those and see yourself prosper. Whenever I remember it's just few minutes of pleasure, I lose interest immediately. Isn't worth the stress. And to them, they're doing us some favour. When you spend on a woman just to get her on the bed, just know that there are other bigger spenders. My advice to men out there is... find a loyal girl that will give you peace and happiness, marry her and invest your resources in her and your family. That's how you progress. And not spending it on unholy alters of corporate oloshos.
This is indeed a mouthful! Can't help than to share this video trending on Facebook and Tweeter. This young teacher was seen teaching his students about Don Jazzy and tagged the subject "Donjagrapy101". The excited and brilliant kids were seen discussing and answering questions based on what they know or have learnt about the Nigerian musical icon, Michael Collins Ajereh(Don Jazzy) popularly know as Don Baba J. In his tweet, it reads. "In the course of our holiday lesson, we added @DONJAZZY as a subject to one of our subjects. We call it DonJagraphy101. A must watch! Retweet until @DONJAZZY sees it. Hilarious, right? We love you!!! @DONJAZZY"
myd44 seun ishlove farano lalasticlala What do you think? FP worthy o. Nairalanders, help this hardworking young teacher to get enough retweets. Don Baba must see this o. This is lovely.
tunmiluabi: My story is quite long, please run through with patience.
I married my wife about 11 years ago. By the way I am 46 years old. Before I married my wife, I was not doing well neither was my wife. She was working with a multinational company, earning an equivalent of N40,000. I had a small graphic design business after trying many times to find a good job. I looked for jobs and contracts without any respite. But At this this time, my wife's support was good and I did appreciate every bit of it. At lest we survived on the low...
As time went on, I got a job in one international corporate training company as a Statistics and Business Analysis Instructor, was earning about 90,000 naira. During the times before I got my job, we had accumulated debt and my new job provided us an opportunity to pay them up.
We decided we were going to save part of her salary every month for servicing the debt and save the rest for a rainy day. I was supposed to pay the rent and all other domestic bills, light, kids school fees etc.. Some time she helped with food/groceries. After sometime, she advised we move to a bigger apartment. We still had a daughter by then. I obliged and we did.
To cut the story short, after four years of working, the company folded up because of government policies and we were all laid off. This meant we had to prepare for the hard life ahead. It was hectic and devastating. Me being me, I took it with all sense of grace and hope things will be fine. But the more I thought about this the worse things got. One day out of curiosity I asked my wife if it would be nice to have another child and she advised it was not the best time. I understood and agreed. I then advised my wife if we could start a business and with some savings we had, maybe I could use it to enhance my former business, maybe things might be better this time. She did not show any interest. This time I discovered changes in my wife.
One day she asked me if she could use part of them money to do a course, honestly I was shocked but asked why she did not oblige to my own request. She said "its my money I can use it for whatever I want". My wife however did the course.
To cut the story short, 3 years down the line, my wife stopped having sex with me and this continued for a long time. I became like "shit in her eyes". I lost a bit of confidence though. she would wake me with insults and barrage of dirty words. Because of our child, I agreed to stay a home and try to work online and seek clients and jobs from old client. It was not bad but not promising.
Fortunately for us, my wife got a promotion and her salary was increased to about 170,000. This actually brought out the worst in my wife. Her calmness disappeared and all decorum was buried. We would quarrel everyday and not talk for weeks. She became really mean and controlled everything at home. Please note, she is not a bad woman but can't explain the reasons up till date. I was with no option but to query her sincerity as a wife and that continued for a long time. Our sex life became zero, she would tell me having sex would make her pregnant and was not ready for a second child. Her stories kept on changing and became even worse, rather than coming home she would pass by her mom and be there till late in the night before coming home.
After about 3 years of trying to get something to do, I finally got a place on the island sometime in February 2018, where I would be paid a stipend of 50,000. In addition, I would use my free time to design, print and sell business cards to small companies. The overall income was small but enough for some immediate obligations at home. But to be fair, that was the best I could get since I have not had money in a long time. Unfortunately my wages were not consistent due to challenges the company was facing. But I used the Business card printing to augment wherever possible.
Later in 2018 around September, I discovered that my wife had been having an illicit engagement. She had a male fried and I finally got to know about it and confronted her. She did not deny it, she begged and I forgave her. Anyway, I had made up my mind to forgive because of the kid and I never told anyone till date. Moreover, since we were not making love that was of course enough reason for the drastic measure, I told myself. To be sincere I had lost feeling for my wife and sex was difficult. We finally started having sex but I had little to offer her. I would pretend and even have to watch Indecency to be able to have sex with her. I was dead inside. At least my wife was still with me. That was my solace. I guess trust was broken. She however continued with her escapades. The quarrels increased and got worse. There and then name calling became our breakfast and dinner. She advised that since I would never look at her the same and bringing little or nothing to the table that I was free to go. The quarrels went on for quite some time, my wife will go very violent on me some of the times. I am marshal artist with black belt and I have great restraint - for me, fighting and going violent on her was never on the table. One day I thought there was a need to move out and I did indicated to her that I was not comfortable living with her anymore.. That wherever I am, I will see how I can take care of the kids.
She did not care and things became difficult for me. I felt maybe I could stay for sometime, It might be a difficult condition but still not impossible. This became my Achilles heels. There and then I knew my relationship had broken and irreparable. I accepted there was nothing I could, but to be patient and tried to convince myself about our situations and believed our situation was bad, but God’s willing we would overcome. The fight even got worse and became very violent and physical, I would normally just take the beating or hold her hands to avoid any injuries.
The quarrels was beginning to be in the glare of my Kids and since it was not abating, there was little I could do to change the situation. I finally made up my mind on the 19th of May 2019 to move out, but actually moved out on the 30th of May, 2019. Before then on the 26th of May, 2019, I discovered my wife was again engaging in the illicit affair. She would claim she was going to church only to be found at a different location. Honestly I can’t blame her, I blame myself and the situation that caused the demise of our once cherished marriage. At this point in time I realised I had lost and had no fight in me anymore. My kids are still very young. Everyday quarrels, lack of sincere engagement, denials upon denials and her fear of facing her “DEMON” with little chance of her understanding the consequence of her actions - I was left with no choice but to stop FIGHTING. I had no fight left in me. The ultimate decision was to leave. I did not inform her parent about the issue because I had indicated to her I did not want them to look at her differently.
God so good, I got a 500,000 Naira job through a friend in an oil company with a 3bedroon in Lekki fully paid up for 3years by the company. By the way, I am Data Analyst but never practiced for a long time. I studied Computer engineering but for a long time grace did not smile on me. I take care of my kid and I really don't hate her and I am at peace with everything. She still has her job and doing well.
Please note that she did not tell me to leave, I left on my own volition. I could not share the same bed with my wife anymore she apparently could not muster enough strength to stop all iniquities for a conversation that will help see things through. Rather she is turning to blame it on me. We have however resolved to part on a friendly note for the sake of our child.
My reason for posting this is because most us sit behind the desk and computers and do not understood the demons everyone is battling. On a bad day, the best husbands are MONSTER, while the best wives are DEVILS. When we make judgment as males or female. We should not forget about our female child/children, same goes for the male child. I don't know what my wife tells people about what happened but I really don't care and I have made up my mind never to defend myself.
Thanks for reading.
Tunmi
That was really a mouthful. The ability to walk away is the beginning of your happiness. Your happiness first, bro. Better to live on a roof top than to live with a demon as a wife. Bros o, we're likely facing the same situation, she was the one that left though. Was retrenched from my job, and yet to find my feet. Can you help me with a job or support me financially for a poultry business capital? I'm a graduate of Animal Science, UNN. I'll soon write my story here when I get back to my feet
Stallione: Jilted me infront of another guy,she doesnt even care how i felt then,probably because i dnt have job then.Nearly committed suicide but God in his infinite mercy boom gave me a job after a year she did dat.Now i can boast of a nice car n apartment n she has be asking me to forgive her but i simply told her we are not on desame level again.
Same experience o. I'm still hurting right now, coz no job. Help a brother with a job or money. Diamond 0091706394 Joseph
Do we really need to wait for to Covid show a quarter of the virulence abroad here?
Can we risk that.
My analogy in the quote u mentionioned is simply to illustrate the point that this community herd thing the government is adopting will render us all useless. Vaccine for covid is scheduled for 2021 ooo. Ecuador adopted this approach of ours and they lay in their numbers. Heck, even here in Nigeria whilst the rest of the south were on partial or total lockdown, Kano was agog and all of a sudden 650 mysterious deaths....
I repeat, hunger killing a few is better than Covid murdering g thousands. America you mentioned reached a peak after 55k dead. They have the resources to ensure gradual ease of lockdown. They have the resources to enforce mandatory covid precautions. In Nigeria we are a giANT when it comes to precautions
In a proper country, mandatory wearing of masks would work but here, I wonder how we could do that with the Bus park agberos or the market women
I know you already have enough to last till the vaccine is out. Abeg, some love would go along way. Diamond 0091706394 Joseph
Used hunger eyes bought 4 noodles with 2 eggs. Needed to fry, but no groundnut oil. Went to my side chick neighbour and asked her to help me with groundnut oil. She asked me to go inside her room and collect it. Na so I ended up using liquid shampoo to fry noodles. Worst of it all was I ate half of the noodles before I could detect the acidic taste. Went back to my neighbour and asked her to give me the oil again. She brought another bottle different from the one I collected myself. I fainted.
Almost 20 years ago, I wanted to prepare pounded yam... I put salt in the yam while cooking and the result was flabbergasting. � All cuz I wanted to show em at home I can now cook anything!
Exactly the same question I asked a friend who reached out to me last week for financial assistance to feed his family. He said he attends a mega church in Lagos and had been paying tithes for many years but hasn't received any assistance from them yet despite reaching out. I told him it makes no sense that his church has billions of Naira in their various bank accounts and some or majority of their members are suffering and in desperate need for help. I also told him if he had saved 10% of his income for years in a savings account earning him interest, he would have tapped into that savings during this time to feed his family. I later helped him and hoped he used it wisely.
You are a fool. In your entire miserable life you can and will never achieve a quarter of what I have achieved at my age. You jump into illogical conclusions without thinking
Victoronah1: Okay, so I wanted to get my girlfriend an iPhone xr, I ended up getting her an iPhone x mas. I hope she loves it. I'll have to lodge in a beautiful hotel, and buy lots of red flowers and red candles and set it up. I'll make it very warm and nice for her, she deserves it by the way, also I don't care if we break up tomorrow the money I spent can easily be gotten back.
Here are the things I got for her:
1. iPhone xs max 2. Apple series watch 3 3. And ear pod.
Then got myself apple mac book which I don't even know if I will be using cause I have a GTX 1080 laptop I use for my video editing. But anyways I've never used a MacBook, I heard MacBook are good for Editing so I will have to test. I want you to follow me on my journey till 14th night.
I'll keep updating this thread if I buy any new thing for her but until then happy valentine. Also what will you gift your girlfriend or boyfriend on Valentine's day? Or husband or wife any
I only need any second hand Android phone for Val. Mine is having screen and touch problem. Make a brother smile, abeg o.
Family / Re: I Am Depressed by JustAPhase(m): 10:44pm On Jan 13, 2023 
Can't help than to share this video trending on Facebook and Tweeter.
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