ROSSIKE:

bawomolo said:

No, but we can say fusion.

tolutara:

I say the below at the risk of being told the reason why I am voicing my opinions is because i can't afford it. Let put that aside for now.

I feel a lot of women should stop being so darn materialistic. Gosh!

Weave $450, Gucci bag $375 ,Prada shoes $485, Vera Wang shades $180 , Fendi wallet $120, House of Dereon Bangles $85, Movado Wristwatch $165, the list is endless, Amount of cash in the Fendi wallet $45, credit card debt over $5000. SMH.

I Can understand women wanting to look good, but at what expense?. Some women have no savings for a rainy day especially when they have kids depending on them but will spend all of the above reckless in one day. Scourging through endless magazines trying to stay fly ,when u have real women making real dough.

I actually feel the most sorry for the men. I can understand the conflict of wanting your woman to look really good but at what expense? I feel that the average woman as a consumer Mentality, always consuming but hardly producing,

My humble opinion BTW I am a woman.

Ujujoan:

Shoulda!

juman:

This is the bad situation our leadres put us into. You should divorce the white lady and marry black lady.
But getting good one sometimes not easy. Also you should know that there are several and numerous problems associated with that.
The family of that black lady at home will be also look up to her for financial assistance that you are not used to with your white woman.

tensor777:

^Well I see where he is coming from. To me it is an absolute taboo to disrespect or humiliate your spouse in front of your kids. That is a no-go area.
I was lucky enough never to have witnessed that as a kid.

davidylan:

wow i can understand cruelty to kids but not to your spouse. That was something my dad must have been very careful not to let us notice if it ever happened. I'm sorry.

Uyi Iredia:

>>> some clarity, on what u mean, via examples
[

Uyi Iredia link=topic=511646.msg6810410#msg6810410 date=1285271867:

>>> some clarity, on what u mean, via examples

It will take a while to go back and note them. don't have a problem with this though. However, 'some clarity via examples' will be nice for Tensor to produce which highlights the 'yawning difference between the Nigerian culture and that of Germany my comments and questions show'

bawomolo:

you know it's all jokes right.

tensor777:

There really is no problem. Its just that there is a yawning difference in culture as between a country like Nigeria and a country like Germany.
So some of your questions and comments do inevitably reflect that difference. Its totally understandable.

Kilode?!:

Nigeria is so ahead of the curve, we treat all sexes equally when it comes to beatings , -well, according to their abilities and "crimes",

But we do protect females and try not to physically scar them too much, else they might be rejected by potential suitors, so we use smaller canes, and lighter kobokos. Women rights are very well protected

When are you going to visit?

tensor777:

^^Old boy I know what you're saying. Boys will always be boys. But lets imagine you had only one son and this son is, for whatever reason,

1)wilfully stubborn

2) thoroughly untrustworthy

Now do you leave him to his own devices so that he becomes a terror and a menace to society, or seriously and ruthlessly deal with him so that he becomes a responsible citizen.

That is the dilemma.

Orilee9ice:

I SHALL NOT HUMOUR YOU WITH A BEFITTING ANSWER, MADCHEN!

Orilee9ice:

ELRAZUR,

I shall not say 2 much, 4 fear of being mis-understood again, by you, if you actually read my epistle very well, you will see that i said i had an even stricter up-bringing than you,, up to uni-level, which i said i will not go into so that i dont take the spotlight off you,  i have not said noone shouldnt express their experiences, (at least i shared a bit of mine!), neither have i said pple should kept mute, all i am saying is what have you gained by sharing these experiences now.closure? dealing with the hurt?,  oh whats the point,  im outta here, its been fun while it lasted, but its beginning to wear out now, Good Luck!

Orilee9ice:

@Madchen, GOD BLESS YOU 2!, sometimes the truth is bitter

Orilee9ice:

oh Pleeezzzzeeeee! for goodness sake!! y'all get a grip, like someone said on here once you guys leave 9ja, you begin to go "gaga",
when you were there, it wasnt a problem o! its now that you are "overseas" that you are now talking of "getting your closure" and "dealing with the hurt" etc,  the soonest you realise that what they did to you back then is what made you what you are today the better, pleeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzee!! (no offence or pun intended!), so what have you all gained by remembering them now?.probably hating your parents the more, some of you said you dont really relate with them anymore or to some its just occasional, or one word sylabbles, there is a yoruba saying, ti o ko ba gbagbe oro ana, a o ni ri' eni ba sere.no matter what, they are still your parents and will not create any hurt or harm for you, i know i will be attacked by my outburst now but , am i bothered!!,  . you need to see how 2day's children are being brought up (esp in the west- USA-JAND, ETC that we are all copying now) and you will thank your lucky stars that you were not brought up that way,  Lets face reality Men! ki lode, ki laa gbe,  ki le yu!, God bless y'all, Selah,

Iranoladun:

@ All

I discovered this thread yesterday afternoon and I must say it brought back all the horrors of my childhood.  I had to spend the night trying to get over it.

@ElRazur, DayoKanu and Davidlan my experiences are similar to yours.  I'm the first child and all the horrors came from my Mum.

I just realized now that I've not really gotten over it; may be I'd share some of my experiences later when I'm much stronger emotionally to do so

omo_to_dun:

 I admit that not all men are like that back home, but a lot are. An evil side of me just wakes up whenever I see a man maltreating a woman. And in most cases, these men are weak. I'm not talking about slapping, or shoving, or even mild punches(not that these are any good); I am talking about slave beating. In the early nineties, I remember vividly when my dad beat my mom on christmas so bad that she had to undergo a surgical operation, word! But I am grateful though. My girl is still alive. I just wish I could have done more, instead of crying.

I say this to all women: please, get an education(or learn a trade or anything else) and do not rely on a man, else, you may be taken advantage of. He may not physically abuse you, but there's a great chance that he'll abuse his power. That was my mom's lot. She was fully dependent on him. As a man, the first thing I look for in a woman is independence; if you don't have it, at best, we'll have s#ex, then I'll politely tell you to leave my house. Come back when you can stand on your feet. Don't get my wrong, there are some people who will take good care of their spouses, even if they are dependent on them. But my philosophy is borne out of my sad childhood experience. In the US, whenever I see a wife beater going to jail, or prison, my heart rejoices, because weak men belong in prison. And my African brothers, I do not intend to paint us in a bad picture; however, the truth must be told, some Nigerian men are just animals, and it'll be good if we can have laws to protect our women.

davidylan:

Now that i've started thinking of my own children, i horrifically find myself begining to like some of those things my dad would do to me back in the days. I would not hesitate to flog my own child very well . . . i dont believe in the system of raising children in the west . . .

Its all good to blame our parents . . . at the end of the day we might be no better than they were. I learnt to forgive my parents long ago, at least now they try to say "i love you" every two minutes and sometimes it can be uncomfortable especially as you were not used to hearing it from them for so long.

Yeah i will love my own kids too, but the tradition of serious whipping must be passed on to the next generation. Afterall how would they claim a nigerian heritage too.

Ujujoan:

No fighting here pls!

spikedcylinder:

What are you on about? Did my mother succeed in killing me?