@Paulipopo
As i suggested earlier, kindly refrain from mentioning names as it would only heat things up on this thread, turn it into something personal with all sorts of abuses and the focus of the thread would be completely derailed by KunleOshob

I think it is good to follow this advise as people are becoming temperamental on this subject. pls i await more.

Dear Nairalanders! i want to start the sale of kerosine as it is an essential commodity in our environment. i have little or no cash to start this kerosine business; i need your advise. thank you.

good for the interviewer

@beemex
If they are my kids, i'll donate them to the zoo and pray to God for forgiveness.

HABA

Is he just realizing that his mother does not know how to cook? At least it is her food that has made him to grow till now, let him wait till he gets married now, and let his wife know he likes good food and stop complaining about his mum's cooking.

Let's face it: English is a stupid language. There is no egg in the eggplant, no ham in the hamburger, and neither Pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England ; French fries were not invented in France .

We sometimes take English for granted. But if we examine its paradoxes we find that Quicksand takes you down slowly, boxing rings are square and guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing? If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth. If the teacher taught, why didn't the preacher praught. If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what the heck does a humanitarian eat? Why do people recite at a play yet play at a recital? Why do people Park on driveways and drive on parkways.

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house can burn up as it burns down and in which you fill in a form by filling it out. And a bell is only heard once it goes!

People, not computers, invented English and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which of course isn't a race at all). That is why when the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible. And why is it that when I
wind up my watch it starts but when I wind up this story it ends? And there's more,

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist? Why are "a wise man" and "a wise guy opposites"? Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible? Why isn't 11 pronounced onety-one, since 22 is pronounced twenty-two? If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?


Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure? If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes"?



And for those who speak Yoruba , if a teacher is Oluko, that makes an Artist, OLUYA. Right?

TRUE LUF

African Client
________________________________________
The beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich African king who was a very important client. The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her, don't
reject the guy outright.

So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her. After a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will only marry you under three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75-carat diamond ring with a matching 200-carat diamond tiara."

The African king pauses for awhile. Then, he nods his head and says, "No problem! I have. I have."

Realizing her first condition was too easy the woman says to the man, "I want you to build me a 100-room mansion in New York. As a vacation home, I want a chateau built in the middle of the best wine country in France."

The African king pauses for awhile. He whips out his cellular phone and calls some brokers in New York and in France. He looks at the woman, nods his head and says, "Okay, okay. I build. I build."

Realizing that she only has one last condition, the secretary knows that she'd better make this a good one. She takes her time to think and finally she gets an idea. A sure-to-work condition. She squints her eyes, looks at the man and says, rather coldly, "Since I like sex, I want the man I marry to have a 14-inch privates."

The man seems a bit disturbed. He cups his face with his hands and rests his elbows on the table, all the while muttering in African dialect.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, the king shakes his head, looking really sad, and says to the woman, "Okay, okay. I cut. I cut."

incredible

@ manickal
same to u

@ clemcykul

Thanks i appreciate it,

Two young boys stole a bag of oranges from the village market.
They decided to go to the nearest cemetery to share the loot,
But they had to scale a big gate to enter the cemetery.
As they were scaling the gate two oranges fell out of the bag and were
left behind by the fence.


A farmer who was coming from the farm passing near the cementary fence,
heard the following conversation going on in the cementary:
One for me - One for you (Distribution of the loot),
One for me - One for you, on and on


He begins to wonder at what is going on in the cementary at that late
evening, he immediately ran as fast as he could to the local priest.
He said "Father James come with me and witness God and Satan sharing
corpses at the Cemetery"-
They both ran back to the cemetery and stood by the fence and the voices
continued:


"One for me - One for you"
Suddenly one of the voice said "Let's get the two at the fence "
(meaning the Oranges that fell)
One of Father James shoes is still at the cemetery as at the time of
sending this mail.


Who wan die?



Father was the first to take off.


If na you nko! who wan die.

Hello, give me your email address, or mobile number so we can talk. Thank you.

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Dear Farmers, We have available for sale well over 25,000 pieces of Juveniles and Fingerling, also available are table size catfish, male and female brood-stock all at reasonable prices at our Farm located at Iyana Ipaja behind NYSC Camp. For further inquiries please contact Dele on the following numbers: 08032836622 or 018792358. We thank you for your continued patronage. Management,

MyPeace,
I am really grateful to you for this post. but why do bosses behave to Secretaries/PA's as if they are just another "glorified housemaid" when things go wrong without the Secretary/PA's knowledge. My organization is having a "restructuring programme" going on which is affecting almost everyone in the office. apparently, i assumed this was not going to affect me but with the way things are taking shape, i believe its time to move on. Dears, i'll be grateful if you have any idea of openings but i'll prefer "ikeja" area,
Regards

There is a miniflat BQ at OGUDU GRA, the estate is called ZONE A4 estate and it's going for 300,000 p/a X 2yrs.you have a private compound to yourself which one can organise a small party in ,there is water running directly into your flat,there is another tap outside your small compound and also, you have a gate to yourself apart from the main gate to the building.you don't share anything with anybody and no other tenant in the compound, the landlord stays in the main building and the apartment is backing the main building.the apartment is furnished with WREATH IRON CHAIRS WITH CENTER TABLE AND ALSO A DINNING SET,CURTAINS,A/C, NEW RUG and so many other things which can be sold if the tenant is willing to buy. reason for all this is as a result of relocation.any interested person should call 07033453240 for inspection.

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08182095424. THANKS
A TRIAL WILL SURELY CONVINCE YOU!!!

@viperman

hello, is the honda bulldog still available for sale, am offering u 420k for it, if u are game let me know. u can mail me on akinrinolawunmi@yahoo.com